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Eliday, Vhast 29, 1019

Front Page

Chasm Opens Near Genrivia, Area Yet More Dangerous

A chasm opened in the Badlands area near Genrivia. Reports suggest that when it opened, the sky turned purple and began to shimmer.

The Guild dispatched adventurers to investigate. While the full results of the investigation are pending, the Guild was able to respond to our inquiries in a limited fashion. The area the chasm erupted in, according to the Guild, is now in ruins. The sky remains purple in color.

Rumors suggest the presence of Kulthian artificery, and statements from local government appear to support this conclusion. Rogan Gormander, an attache to the council of Alexandria, issued a statement that seemed to indicate that the military has sealed off the area after adventurers addressed the problem. He states: "We had a brief incursion of Kulthian artifice that activated from ambient mana. These things happen," he added.

The Exploratory Associates have urged caution in approaching the chasm. Spokesman Hurdrizh Silverarm, Forge of Reos, stated that: "The horror of the Kulthians remains in all minds. Because of that, we support investigations to identify the true cause of the disruption, and urge caution but not alarm. Although unlikely, if a Kulthian source is confirmed, we would of course cooperate to ensure its full removal, and the safety of Alexandros at large."

OOC: This relates to plots run by Whirlpool! Please contact him for rumors and legwork.


Doorbreaking Fans Kick On Through!

With the conclusion of the latest 'Doorbreaker Trials,' the Guild issued an announcement today suggesting that the Trials themselves may go back further than they'd been aware.

"We were aware of them competing once, in 1009, but recent documents suggest that they may go back 10, 20 years before that," Guildsofficer Korim Zathasdi said in a written statement. "Even more exciting, we may have found documents relating to this era, though there's nothing official we can reveal at this time."

In the meantime, the Doorbreaker Trials have inspired their own fandom. Khazad smiths, inspired by the strength and ingenuity displayed in the trials, have begun selling their own version of 'Doorbreaker Boots'. So far, boots with iron studding have proven most popular.

OOC: This relates to Selerik's Doorbreaker Trials!


Fashion and Culture

Results of Doorbreaker Trials In, Round One!

The Guild posted the winners of the recent Doorbreaker Trials to the Guild Hall this morning, to much fanfare. Each name included the number of trials that adventurer had completed. In order, the named were:

Alba <4>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Claw, Corset of the Vishkanya, Feather Fall hex, Creepy Hair Hex
Azog <2>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Earthbreaker
Boshter <4>
Equipment Used: None!
Elisabeth <8>
Equipment Used: Knife, Shatter Spell
Fazahd <2>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Bastard Sword
Ga'Elian <18>
Equipment Used: Ring of Feather Fall, Dagger, Glowing Rapier
Munch <5>
Equipment Used: Eyes of the Eagle, Feather Fall spell, Adamantine Greatclub
Zenia <9>
Equipment Used: Goblin Any Tool

OOC: This relates to Selerik's Doorbreaker Trials!

Tribune Trails Comic
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Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! Can arvek digest waffles, or are they too cursed to eat this naturally angelic foodstuff?
A: Perhaps this question should be put to a live experimentation. And I implore anyone who offers any arvek nar waffles, in the interest of scientific study, to be sure not to lace the waffles with sedatives. Or laxatives. Or arsenic.
I know some of you are considering it. And all I can say to that is, for shame. And make sure it doesn't trace back to me.
Q: Great Paladin, if beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, how many Beholders should I hunt to acquire it?
A: I wish I found it surprising that a hobgoblin finds beauty in a beholder. And I shouldn't judge. On the other hand, judging is what paladins do. Nevermind those upstart Inquisitors trespassing into portfolios they should keep themselves well clear of. So I will judge. Boshter, if you ever have any hope of rising above your shameful origins, I would suggest you stop holding monsters like beholders in such high regard.
Q: If a judge gives me an answer I don't like and I think it's evil, do I have permission to judge the judge?
A: Are you a paladin? Of course not. You are a hobgoblin. So no, you are in no position to judge. This grieves me, but such is life. As for weasels, yes. The little bastards are evil. Just think of their beady little eyes, so much like a hobgoblin. Or their slithery bodies, so much like a goblin. The way they live in holes in the ground, so much like gnomes.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I received letters requesting I travel to BLAR! Look for my exploits in the next edition when we travel to a land both terrifying, and orderly!

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to: http://tenebraemush.net/index.php/File:Trib_gnometravel_heads.png

Personal and Editorials

Recruiting: Hands of Ithildin

In light of recent events, the Hands of Ithildin have stepped up recruiting efforts in Alexandria! They are known for their practical approach to the spread of medicine in poor communities. The Hands are a primarily female, and Althean, organization that is spread across the globe. Men serve in the Hand as well, though primarily as guards (though there are female guards, too).

OOC: Interested in joining some Ithildins for RP? Contact: Diemma (Iadoth), Mayahuel (Abrahil), or Bjoric (Sebropert)!

Org Page: Hands of Ithildin


Recruiting: Dorfs!

Do you dorf? Do you like to drink strong ale, admire your manly beard or womanly mane in the mirror for hours on end? Do you wear adamantine boots, or dream of owning them someday?

You're in luck!

Come down to STONEWORKS' CALZONES, the hottest, most awesome dorf hangout ongrid! We sing the dorf national anthem of GOLD GOLD GOLD! every hour on the hour, followed by a rousing ruckus of BEER BEER BEER!

Contact: Ilmig, Dubtle, Knogh Dural, Hildr, or Eberk (Jareth)!

Kesenday, Vhast 20, 1019

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Possible Peace Between Rune and Dranei?

Rumors from the north indicate that Rune and Dranish forces of the Iron Tide are nearing a settlement. Negotiations have been torturous, but there is a consistant drumbeat. Signs of good faith are beginning to emerge, such as prisoner exchanges and meetings in Dranei territories between veterans in an effort to dispel mutual distrust and hatred. These are probably not going well, all things considered, but thre IS an attempt.

OOC: This is related to the Dran and Rune arc, by Whirlpool


CRIMSON JUSTICE!

In an EMERGENCY EDITION, we reported the scandalous end to Alexandria's greatest 'Mystery of Mysteries,' a series wrought by the mysterious author, the Crimson Pen. Within their pages, we joined our beloved heroes, Jyrana, Mereth, and Dandy through their trials, tribulations and ultimately, Jyrana's great betrayal.

In response to this GRAVE INJUSTICE, Alexandrians picketed the Prestitious Moon. On the third day of protests, the Crimson Pen made her, or should we say their, appearance!

In response, Ladies Myrana and Sandy have issued a joint statement:

The Crimson Pen is an inaccurate butt. The consequences of his or her sloppy storytelling is apparently people getting hooked on the idea that there is some truth to the pernicious slander he is spreading. We would like to issue a statement indicating that there is no truth to the rampant speculation and we deny any connection to the characters in the Pen's stories. Also, he is a butt and will get his face stoved in shut up that's not that illegal yes it is that's how you get arrested nuh uh.

A full account of the event is included later in this edition.

Editor's Note: Crimson Justice!

OOC: This is related to the Crimson Pen series, by Lahar


Wagon Crash in Alexandria Due to Weather, One Dead

The City Watch recently issued a Travel Advisory warning of extreme ice hazards on the Mountain Road.

On Korday, Vhast 19, the body of an as-yet-unidentified Storm Dwarf teamster was delivered to Watch officials by the ranger Ga'Elian, who claimed to have discovered the body at the wreckage of a wagon on the side of a mountain northeast of the City.

Watch spokespan Sergeant Blackstone informed the Tribune that the ranger reported "the tracks indicated that the teamster must have lost control of the wagon on an icy cliff just before sunrise", and that the wagon was smashed on the mountainside below.

The City Coroner confirmed that the teamster died from severe impact trauma. The smashed wagon was marked in Khazadi runes with the name of the Redridge Freight Company, a well-known and respected carrier.

The only known cargo was an artifice box that is being analyzed as this edition goes to press, by Professor Argus Bumblebottom, Dean of Kulthian Studies at the Engineers Enclave. Asked about the current status of his analysis, Dean Bumblebottom would only say that the box was "a very significant find." At this time, the Tribune has yet to ascertain who sent the box or where it was to be delivered.

OOC: Submitted by Ga'Elian, contact him for rumors!


No Magic Clues Found in Murder of Wizard

A gnomish wizard by the name of Maraxos has been murdered. His clone--which is actually him--has been restored. Don't ask. Wizards have no sense of right and wrong, really. His three apperntices, a trio of half-oruchs, have apparently stolen a great deal of elemental power from his estate near the Mythwood. Anyone who sees the still-free Tergip the Bloody Lip and Grinto Bloody-Maw are to report to the Constabulary immediatley.

OOC: This is related to Loose Apprentices, by Whirlpool


Undead in Bludgun?

Reports from Bludgun indicate worrying movements on its border from masses of undead beyond their northern fortifications. The giant-lead nation is one of the first nations to sign with Alexandria to sign a treaty against Dragonier. The treaty aims to encircle Dragonier as part of a plan to retake the lost lands.

OOC: Contact Whirlpool for legwork


Mimic Mountain?

Unconfirmed reports of mimics in the Red Mountains have circulated within the Adventurer's Guild of late. Some adventuring groups report having seen them, while others suggest that the rumors are all hear-say. As of publication, the Guild was unable to provide an official report.

OOC: This is related to Mana Crystals, run by Astaren


Endangered Spider Farm...Endangered!

An unusual number of large spiders have been spotted near Balefire Silkworks Spider Farm in the Felwood. Silkworks is known as a "Freaky Magical Creatures (and spiders) Rehabilitation Center." Its manager, Witch Alba, was able to be reached for a statement:

"...it seems that a city of spiders within the Felwood saw my farm as new territory to control. They have been discouraged. The spiders I tend, they remain fat and happy, and thus it will continue. A thing I wish to be known; kind I was, to these invaders, though I did not need to be. Much kindness have I spent, and no more do I hold for those who would take what is mine by force."

Further reports are on hold, as everyone is terrified to go near the place.

OOC: This is related to The Spiders of Felwood, run by Astaren

Fashion and Culture

Hayatiento Aerie Opens in Redridge Mountains

With the assistance of Magus Raethon and a number of adventurers, the egalrin are beginning to settle into the Hayatiento Aerie. With the 'Dreamweave' now over the aerie, an accomplishment due in part also to Magus Astaren, the Egalrin there have taken up a quiet vigil over Alexandria and the forest from their place high up in the Red Ridge Mountains, located near the Spire.

The Council of Elders, led by Aodhkane, daughter of Kanitte, has recently named a 'Gaothai-Hogo', roughly translated means 'Air Guardians' in the tongue of the egalrin. Nerek-hai, Daughter of Terak-fa, an egalrin with red head feathers and a silver crest, was named a Gaothai-Hogo of the Hayatiento Aerie. It is the hope of the Council that she will lead with the wisdom of Ciernan and Ceiwan.

Another, yet odder egalrin has become part of the aerie as well, an egalrin that seems to command the air element herself. A druid named Masamya, follower of the Green Word. The Council reports that Masamya has also given honors to the Huntress aspect of Eluna in the Green Word, a connection all but lost to the egalrin's history.

Local egalrin Pelka also attended the ceremony. Pelka is known for his talent with artifice, and may become an important member in advancing the local aerie's knowledge and understanding of the craft.

OOC: Log of the event: Hayatiento Aerie Opening (MEETUP)


Interview: Roselle, Mistress of Weasels!'

Features: Roselle

Interview by: Astaren

From the interview: Not that she's forgotten Astaren either, because she does answer him, albeit slightly distracted by Aya's problem. "Aye, joke it was back in the day, because somehow, if there's a weasel in the vicinity I'll find it no matter what. Stick an arm down a rabbit hole and a weasel'll be hanging off it when I come back up --weasel pie? Yes, I make a fucking good weasel pie. Just ask Sandy."

Full Interview: Full Interview


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The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on STORMGARDE!

Stormgarde is a frontier nation, known for its chill and wind. The Icegate Mountain Range frams its north side, where Maugrim himself is said to have made his citadel. Lord Ygfried Hamergostd is the current ruler of the nation. His shoulders are almost as wide as mine! Bravo, Ygfried! We will oil ourselves up sometime, and have manly contests for who is strongest!

Depicted below are some of their oldest mountains. You can see the erosion! The area where Maugrim had made his terror-citadel is said to be as craggy, and as dangerous, as ancient days, however. Someday soon, I may pay a visit!

Perhaps you might like to send your letters!

The Gnomish Traveler in Stormgarde:
Trib gnomeinstormgarde.png

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to: http://tenebraemush.net/index.php/File:Trib_gnometravel_heads.png

Kesenday, Vhast 13, 1019

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

A Storm of Snowballs!

In the past several days, reports have been received of piles of snowballs being found throughout the City of Alexandria. Prominent locations include the riverbanks of the Tormawr, the Memorial Gardens District, the campus of the Bardic College, Goblintown, the Festival Grounds, and the very courtyard of the Castellum Alexandrae. At first, these mysterious piles of harmless ammunition were first spotted in the early dawn hours after snow storms in the night. Soon, however, the phenomenon began to spread.

As one might expect, the sudden appearance of so many ready-made snowballs resulted in the break-out of nearly as many spontaneous snowball fights (shoppers, tax collectors, and some clergy seeming to be reluctant targets of hidden assailants). The City Watch has asked that those employing these snowballs please refrain from interrupting the business of the City and its merchants, and has doubled patrols around the airship and sea ports.

At present, City Watch officials claim that they have no idea who started the whole affair, but suspect that certain mischievous adventurers may be to blame. They particularly caution the public to beware in Sage Orum's Plaza, where the old rivalry between the Arcanists and the Engineers schools have added magical effects to the snowball fights, and also to take special care in the vicinity of any known followers of Tarien.

Draconic Rituals?

Recently you may have seen the glow over the forests of the North Woods. While many times mysterious lights are a cause for worry in Alexandria, today is an occasion of celebration! A special ritual took place amongst the Sith-makar shamans and the allies of Mictlan, renewing the sanctity and security of that sacred place.

Far from the isolationism of others, an olive branch was offered to all who could enter and abide by the rules of the caretakers. One memorable attendee was a Jotun, who brought an offering of enough ale for all their twice over.

With tokens and gestures of goodwill from both the Sith-makar shamans and guests, the renewal of the magics there was a succeed. The resulting celebration lasted well into the next night, with dancing and drinks for all. This writer hopes to see more stories of true camaraderie in coming months.

Reosian Vistor Takes to Alexandria

The local Shrine of Reos is pleased to report the visitation of an aged priest of their faith into the city. The Forge is reported to have served the faithful a number of years, though in his youth he was affectionately known as "Shackles."

He is expected to stay through the month.

"Shackles" reports that he is here to visit family, and expects to conclude his business after that time.

Fashion and Culture
The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle sends his regards, but is out and about this week! We hope to see him back, next issue!

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to: http://tenebraemush.net/index.php/File:Trib_gnometravel_heads.png

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! How much snow does it take to make a Sandy the Snow-elf?
A: Sandy is indeed hot headed. However, this does not make a Snow-Elf Sandy impossible. Hot headedness is an exothermic process. Theoretically, if one could make Sandy angry enough all of the heat would be released, leaving behind a subject that would be cool enough to emulate with snow. This is, however, ill advised. It is well known that Sandy is powered by the very heart of Hell. Causing her to release all of that energy would lay waste to creation as we know it.
Q: Great Paladin, if it takes only one gnome to cause the apocalypse, how many would it take to PREVENT it?
A: You have heard the phrase, fight fire with fire? Much like fighting forest fires by burning the land in the fire's part so that the two fires meet and then have nothing left to consume, this theory can be applied to gnomes. You would need one gnome for every gnome causing the apocalypse. But the gnomes would have to be equal in every way. Height, weight, annoyance factor. For if one were to survive it would carry on with the apocalypse. In this humble paladin's opinion, better to simply stop the problem before it begins. Permanently. With extreme prejudice.
Q: How much wood would a Lucht Siuil chuck if a Lucht Siuil would chuck wood?
A: Is this a euphamism for something? Everyone knows halfings don't actually /work/. I suppose I would have to say none, since the entire scenario stretches the boundaries of possibility a little too far.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

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Personal and Editorials

From the Diary of an Anonymous Mul'niessa

Submitted by Anonymous

My journey to Alexandria has been a fascinating one. One fraught with danger and confusion as I adjusted to the world outside the world crafted meticulously by the Shadow Council. But to begin with what you likely wish to hear from me, I am mul'niessa. A shadow elf, one of the feared creatures who live or in my case once lived under the thumb of Taara. Too often I saw as a child things only the most unfortunate children of this land have seen. Things no child should see. Blood, torture, slavery, things I dare not write to the tribune lest I shock the good people who read this article. Nevertheless, darkness cannot destroy light. I found within this bleak and malicious world a light of my own. Another mul'niessa, met in childhood as friends and later lovers. She was my light, my security, and my promise of truth in a world of lies. Perhaps thought I, that two young women could find a life of happiness together, that we needn't sacrifice each other to gain power. This was a cruel lie.

Before I continue on, one must understand something about Taara's clergy. She promotes individualism, individualism unfettered by morality or conscience. If it advances you, then damned be the creature that steps in your way. They could be an enemy, a stranger, a friend, family, or the love of your life. She would ask all things to be sacrificed at her altar, and to say otherwise is dire betrayal to her. As such, she has no unified order amongs we mul'niessa, and ultimately those proven to be her clergy are met with respect and caution all the same. It was my respect and lack of caution that doomed my lover.

Approaching me, the priest told me to slay an enemy of Taara for her favor. My heart lept at such a thought, to serve my goddess so directly. Giving me a dagger of blackest night, he bid me proceed to a portion of our markets where he knew my mark was to arrive. He told me not whom I was to slay, only that it was of utmost necessity. In this, I did not question him as it seemed to me that it would be to question Taara herself. It was only when I saw my mark's face that I realized my mistake. 'Twas the woman I love that I saw, and she I. Though cloaked and masked, my hesitation she took for the truth of it. I could not find it in myself to kill her, sooner would I tear out my own heart.

Conferring regarding the assassination I was so ordered to carry out, I showed her the dagger in explanation. It was only then that my own hand moved without my will and sank it into her own heart. I heard nothing save for cruel laughter, and knew that just as I was told to betray my lover, so too was I betrayed by the one who had sent me. The will of Taara was enacted such as he would have me believe, even as I did not partake of such will.

Not only that, but he brought me before an official of the shadow council's regime and had me declared a traitor. Stripped of all worth, treated as a pariah and my family much the same. I was instructed from that time on to forgo the use of my family name, once shame and now pride. I no longer wish to call those who bow before a wicked goddess kin. Were it not for a distant uncle's arrival, I would have languished and taken my lot as outcast to be righteous. 'Twas he who showed me the lies of Taara, the black-hearted evil that ran throughout our society. At first, I could not believe it. I had been raised on the words of the Shadow Council, all that they said was my world. Yet I saw the lies for what they were in the coming years. It shook me, within my own mind I screamed as I scraped by for what I needed to survive. I cried as I saw my lover's remains thrown into the refuse heap. I chased the bats and beetles from her body night after night, each time futile as other vermin came to further desecrate her corpse. And in my sorrow and anguish, I could only think of the two words my uncle had said. "Taara lies".

Some time later, he returned as I had learned to cope in whatever small ways I could. I was to be taken out of the city, shown the world beyond. I accepted, for if a lie brought me to my knees then perhaps the truth could set me upon my feet again. It was this time in the cool night that I saw the sky, the great silver face of Eluna and the countless stars. It was alien to me, but a wonder all the same. Over time I acclimated to the sun, first by dawn, then by morning, then the blazing noon. Disguises were donned, and we walked amongst the people as Llyranesi, as children of the dawn. I saw that the poor did not suffer in anguish, but were to work to sustain themselves. I saw that the rich did not break others beneath their whips, and courtesy was of patience and respect rather than fear. Your world is different, and different for the better. Over time, I was offered the chance to stay in the upper world yet my thoughts did not long stray from vengeance. The priest who had moved mine hand to slay all that I cared for in this world was the subject of my ire. Yet even as I saw him dead, I found it could not satisfy. I wanted more blood, more violence even as I knew such things would do me no good and harden my heart to make me the monster you might fear me to be as you live beneath the sun as I once did not. So I left. I could not walk a path of vengeance if Taara's own supplicants were not near me, and my soul would not fall to hate if I could not avenge myself and my lover upon them. And thus, my presence in Alexandria. Far, far from home, far from hate, and far from painful memories.

Ceriday, Vhast 7, 1019

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (EMERGENCY EDITION)

Front Page

And End to Mysteries...?

Earlier today, the Crimson Pen announced her (or his) "final tale in this mystery of mysteries!" We have enclosed the letter, below.

Dear reader,
This tale has been a labor of love for me, one that I have delighted in sharing with you. I have loved these characters as though my own children, and like you, wept at Mereth's manful death. In his memory, I commit to you, this last in our tale. ...the story of Jyrana and Dandy.
My Dearest Darlings,
The Crimson Pen

Yet, it is with a sorrowful heart that I report that we, the readers, receive no absolution from this edition. Instead, we see the innocent Dandy captured by Jyrana's treacherous arms! Mereth's death by Jyrana's poisoning remains unavenged!

Inconceivable!

We publish today to demand a CALL FOR JUSTICE! The Crimson Pen has squandered Mareth's mighty manfulness, and paired his one true love with the despicable Jyrana! This cannot stand.

Today, I join with other fans to picket the Prestigious Moon! We will protest this ending!

OOC: This will be a Scene, so please see +events! PERHAPS THE CRIMSON PEN WILL APPEAR. In the meantime! BONUS RPPS FOR ANYONE WHO PICKETS THE PRESIGIOUS MOON TO PROTEST THIS UNJUST ENDING! (Or if you support it! Perhaps Jyrana could be reformed!)

OOC2: The Prestigious Moon has been renamed appropriately, to reflect this SCANDAL.

Ceriday, Khael 31, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Scandal...Afoot?

by Nilou Farsens Scribbetter!

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, was pleased to receive an invite to the "Fireworks and Cogs" soiree at Sage Orum's this last Variday! While it is normally a small affair, it nonetheless delights with its winter splendor. I have always seen the soiree as rare meeting of Magi and Artifus, with attendees putting aside explosions and spells for the moment, to dance and socialize in costume, each decked in delightful tokens of their art.

The magi were particularly well dressed this year, perhaps due to Madame Gelfure's influence. Their sorcerous lead is largely responsible for the Society of Progressive Arcanists' venture into the fashion industry, as well as other endeavors that have proved not only opportune, but also highly profitable for her guild. While the ideas were scoffed at in the beginning, the results (and wealth) were on display.

In contrast, the Exploratory Associates of Alexandria University, or more commonly the Artificer's Guild, bore mechanized suits and attached small, novel clockworks to their finery. While colorful and...novel, the Guild has had its resources strained of late, and it showed.

A minor upset occurred when Magus Kithbore and Artifus Clankstaff noticed they were wearing similar footwear. While not an issue for Kithbore, the style was one promoted recently by the head of the Society, Madame Gelfure. A longtime opponent of the Society, it was a difficult moment for the Artifus, who is reported to have left the party early, muttering obscenities and tossing a bomb at a nearby plant.


The Gnomish Traveler: Ancient Dragonier!

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on Dragonier, determined to take your letters with me!

And, take them I did! I felt you with me as together, we stood at Heth's doorstep and SHOUTED our demands! What a sight to behold it was! Until our daring adventuring community can wight the wrongs (haha!) Dragonier remains a desolate, though EXCITING landscape!

Yet, while preparing for my trip, I found this smallest of treasures. A picture of Dragonier's former glory! I of course, am included in the image, but simply find it in yourself to look past my illustrious, manly figure to the wonder beyond.

Trib gnometravel dragonierglory.png


OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to: http://tenebraemush.net/index.php/File:Trib_gnometravel_heads.png and send it in!

Fashion and Culture

Tribune Trails Comic

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A Series of Interviews

As part of our Yule celebrations, we at the Tribune have contracted everyday citizens, and asked them to explore the diversity that is Alexandria! Alexandria is one of the melting pots of the world. Please enjoy the series in this and future editions!

OOC: PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN YOUR INTERVIEWS! We are still handing out rewards, and expect publications to continue! You can receive awards for every 2 interviews you share! Also, sending in other rumors and articles, or doodles! awards RPP.


Interview: Fazahd Masterbuilder, Enginebreaker of Reos!'

Features: Fazahd Masterbuilder, Enginebreaker of Reos (no charpage)

Interview by: Selerik, who is suspiciously not Jibbom (no charpage)

To hear Selerik tell the story, his interview with Fazahd began with the statement: "Well, there is a fellow at the Tribune who has been asking me to help him. It occurs to me you might be inspirational, if you're alright with carrying the burden of some public scrutiny?"

It turns out, Fazahd was not.

Editor's Note: A transcript of what follows is included, below. You may read the full scene here.

Selerik: Well, let's see. What advice would you give someone seeking their purpose in life?
Fazahd: My advice would be to live despite the challenges this world gives us, to strive to make one's world better as much as one's life, and to look after those around you. The one who lives for only oneself lives as they will ultimately die: alone.
Selerik: Sound advice from the bane of spiders of all sizes. <he pauses, thoughtfully> Not really done an interview before, so let me ask you want you'd want to answer? The question you think should be asked? And the answer.
Fazahd: Just ask. I will tell you if I choose not to answer - but I shall try my best to be transparent.
Selerik: How about a tip for someone in your profession? Something a hopeful following your exact path might need to know, to keep their head on."
Fazahd: Judge, but do not condemn without evidence. Down that road leads hubris and poisoning of the soul.
Selerik: Good enough.

Editor's note: Here, the two parted ways, but were able to pick up the interview on a second evening. Again, you may find the full transcript here.

Selerik: What is your favorite food?
Fazahd: Winter is here, and I would like to be able to make a recipe to feed many. My favorite food is Aghzam, a Khazad food, baked meat and fungus pie.
Selerik: Why did you become an adventurer?
Fazahd: I was a priest. A Forge of Mighty Reos. It is paramount for every priest to see to the people, whomever they might be, and protect them from evil. That requires that one step out of the temple and take up arms whenever one can. If one wants to be a proper servant, at least.
Selerik: What advice would you give someone seeking their purpose in life?
Fazahd: My advice would be to live despite the challenges this world gives us, to strive to make one's world better as much as one's life, and to look after those around you. The one who lives for only oneself lives as they will ultimately die: alone.
Selerik: How about a tip for someone in your profession?
Fazahd: Judge, but do not condemn without evidence. Down that road leads hubris and poisoning of the soul.


Interview: Maraxus De'Centi, of the Starchasers Tribe from the Vast!

Features: Maraxus De'Centi (no charpage)

Interview by: Aznara Elis'tralee

Aznara: What is your name?
Maraxus: "Maraxus De'Centi, of the Starchasers Tribe from the Vast. Son of Lexia De'Centi, guide to the Starchasers tribe."
Aznara: Would you describe yourself, in your own words?
Maraxus: "Describe myself. A most difficult challenge. I am an a actor, for I perform plays and take on personalities not my own. I am a singer, for my voice is my weapon as it is my fancy. A song to be sung, as the ears are rung. I am a dance. I am a musician, as you have already seen me play. Yet what I am most passionate about, is my story telling. The Hymn takes many forms, and sometimes the most subtle and the most powerful is the story. Simply put, I am a Bard."
Aznara: Would you be willing to, briefly please, summarize your favorite tale?
Maraxus: "Ahh it is an old classic, a grim classic if you will. Love their work, and so hard to find it in today's world. Even the old masters cannot always track down their stories. There is one I did find though, The Cat and the Mouse in Partnership. A tale of creatures that are what they are. A friendship that ever there was, until the cat was hungry and ate the mouse."
Aznara: Clearly, your way with words, your way with music... these are strengths and talents of yours. Is there one thing you wish you could do well, a special talent you lack and wish you did have?
Maraxus: "I wish I were able to speak more languages. I know so few, and it would help me learn so many more tales."
Aznara: Is there anything you've not done in your life that you hope to someday do?
Maraxus: "I want to weave a story, a story so powerful that everybody can hear the hymn like I do. To share the beauty of creation in a way that we hear in legends of the bards of old."
Great Paladin Advice Column

The Great Paladin sends her regards, but is off and marching against Charn for the holidays! She hopes to resturn soon, with VICTORY!


Ceriday, Khael 17, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Goblin Casino Rolls the Dice!

A relatively low-ante joint, a local goblin casino was the site of a kerfuffle this week after some overly well-off customer tipped one of the staff a platinum coin. Accusations were made of theft when he went to cash it after his shift, loyalties were bought (and sold), and now the casino suddenly finds itself with a change of some of their management.

This isn't altogether unheard of, but the issue is that goblins are now infiltrating the other districts trying to convince the more well-to-do to frequent their 'growing' establishment. There are two reports of priests going to use the outhouse, only to find the only paper present were adverts for the casino, and one goblin apparently rolled up flyers and shoved them into random bottles of wine before recorking them. Expensive wine. It seems every goblin wants to hit the next windfall, and some know no bounds for trying to lure business. We all can only pray this madness passes quickly, and doesn't grow even more creative.

Festivities in the Temple Square

The courtyard of the Temple of Daeus has been decorated for Yule! The clergy there have placed colorful lantern bulbs over the mana lamps that normally provide light for the area, to create a more colorful, festive, and joyous Yule mood!

Daeusites have also been spotted working alongside Altheans to deliver bread and food to the poor. No word yet on the Tarien temple, but we are watching them closely (and warily!).

Fashion and Culture

Goblin Poker Ups the Ante

Ma Rosie's got a new card table and hosted a special Goblin Stash Poker night, only a few nights ago. There wasn't a lot of action at the table; it never had all nine of its seats filled. However, what action there was, was intense! At one point, the pot got up to over fifty platinums... and one player, out of cash, put down a magical wand to make the call. That same player ended up winning the hand with an Ace-high flush, and (literally) walked out with a boot full of coin.


Tribune Trails Comic

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A Series of Interviews

As part of our Yule celebrations, we at the Tribune have contracted everyday citizens, and asked them to explore the diversity that is Alexandria! Alexandria is one of the melting pots of the world. Please enjoy the series in this and future editions!

OOC: PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN YOUR INTERVIEWS! We are still handing out rewards, and expect publications to continue! Also, sending in other rumors and articles, or doodles! awards RPP!


Interview: Miriai, War Golem!

Features: Miriai, War Golem in Alexandria

Interview by: Aznara, Ceinaran Adventurer!

Aznara: Describe yourself to me.
Miriai: I am a magically animated sentient golem. I am apparently made of enchanted steel and other materials. Some of silver, some innards include mercury. I have adapted myself and become attached to chainmail armor while learning that my creation incorporated elements of defensive skills. I see in darkness and dim lighting, do not require air and self-repair. <he pauses> Is that enough information My Lady?
Aznara: Is there one physical attribute you have that you're proud of?
Miriai: <he is silent for a long moment, remaining still as a statue> Proud? <he seems to contemplate the concept> Ah yes, a characteristic that I think of as a promising feature that makes me feel accomplished around others. <pause> My soul. The fact that I seem to have one makes me feel like I am worthy of being treated like a sentient, not merely a machine or tool.
Aznara: Do you have one physical attribute that you would change if you could?
Miriai: My arms. Were they longer, I could protect my Lady more effectively. <response is almost immediate>
Aznara: Do you feel you hae a special talent? If so, what is it?
Miriai: My talents lie in the area of combat and defensive training. But... <he pauses> I believe I may retain a small inkling of knowledge of how to forge magic and machine into one. At least the principles of it. I believe that coul dbe considered a special talent.
Aznara: Is there a special talent you wish you had?
Miriai: That which you possess. The talent of channeling raw magical energies. Perhaps then I could forge actual magical machines myself.
Aznara: Is there anything in particular you want from life? ... for yourself, not for another person?
Miriai: <another brief pause> The freedom to determine my own fate. I am intelligent and sentient. What little remains of previous memories involves.. servitude.
Aznara: Do you feel yourself to be a slave?
Miriai: No, I feel that I was once a slave. I choose to defend my Lady. I wish to continue being given the opportunity to choose. I hope that others do not attempt to take that choice from me. <pauses> I know that my Lady will not.
Aznara: How do you know you can trust your Lady?
Miriai: I choose to. Can I not have faith in something? <his voice is almost flat>
Aznara: You are a created being, and speak of having faith. Does this include belief in the gods of this world? Do you have faith in the gods, or a specific one of them?
Miriai: Are not all beings created by the gods? Can the gods not have chosen to make my brethren through the hands of other sentients? I have learned of one named.. Reos, and I find his teachings welcome.
Aznara: Have you ever done anything you wish you hadn't done?
Miriai: Perhaps... But if I did, then I have no memory of the event.


Interview: Ladies Sandiel and Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn!

Features: Ladies Sandiel and Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn

Interview by: Aznara, Ceinaran Adventurer!

Aznara: May I have your names, please, so as to identify who is interviewed?
Myrana: I'm Myrana Jn'Rajh, and I run the Ox Strength tavern down the street.
Sandiel: Ahem. I am Lady Sandiel. Lady Sandiel Jn'rajh, of the Mythwood elves. Which means my wife here, by virtue of being married to me, is LADY Myrana Jn'rajh.
Aznara: How did the two of you meet?
<interviewees declined to answer>
Aznara: What your plans are for life? What do you want?
Myrana: Well, my plans right now, I suppose, are mostly tied up with the Ox and finding a way to serve the neighborhood better with the, uh, tools at my disposal. I inherited it from the Late Mister Oxley, and its been my project for a number of years.
Sandiel: By 'tools' you mean your employees, of course. My plans? Run my damn shop. And stay retired from adventuring around the god damn city getting my gods damned ass kicked.
Aznara: Are you both retired adventurers, or only Lady Sandiel?
Myrana: Only Sandy is retired.
Sandiel: Myrana has been known to get kidnapped frequently, but yes. She still contracts for the Guild of Explorers. I don't so much these days. Be sure to get that in there. Myrana, frequent Kidnapping Victim.
Aznara: Is there anything you've always wanted to do, but haven't done? If so, what has kept you from doing it?
Myrana: I've always wanted to kill a lich. Generally they're just not very cooperative.
Sandiel: Oh! Oh! We have a SHARED GOAL. I want to kill a lich too!
Myrana: Well how are you going to do that if you're always in the city?
Sandiel: Well, you know. Sooner or later, one will try to kidnap you.
Aznara: Before the interview began, Lady Myrana mentioned a person she called 'the Scarlet Pen'... or 'the Crimson Pen' as Lady Sandiel put it. Do you have a message for this person that you'd like to have put into print?
Myrana: Oh, most certainly. If the Crimson Pen reads this article, I'd like to invite him to tea.
Sandiel: Yes. Tea. That sounds absolutely great. I would like to have tea with the Pen. And ask him very pointed questions about his, or her, methodology. And stuff.
Great Paladin Advice Column

The Great Paladin sends her regards, but is off and marching against Charn for the holidays! She hopes to resturn soon, with VICTORY!

Korday, Khael 08, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Fires in Alexandria!

Earlier we reported on fires in Alexandria. At time time, rumors tied the fires to cult activity. An update to that report follows:

As fire fighters responded, a team chanced upon a man that had been rendered unconscious. Fire fighters report that the man was tied up. Attached to his front was a hastily scribbled note requesting that he be arrested and declared him to be a devil-cultist with an immediate need to make confession at the Temple of Daeus. When the man was awakened, he was identified as one Mark Hall, a journeyman silversmith.

The Temple reports that Hall has made his confession. Further investigations are underway.

The Gnomish Traveler: This Edition, Letters to Heth!
Heth Reads Your Letters!

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveller and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on Dragonier!

Though whispers of its blighted landscape have made its way to Alexandria, who has SEEN it? Who but the bravest have set their eyes on its depraved visage? Recently, I sought to add myself to that list and I can't say but that I...

LOVED IT! Why, it was terrible! Awful! And yet...its deathless landscape had a kind of...now, I am not a man easily moved (aside from the sight of my moustache after a righteous brush and waxing), but there is something terrible about it. It is an experience that must be EXPERIENCED. It cannot be matched by words.

Perhaps that is its value.

In addition to my august self, I brought with me a most treasured package. Your LETTERS, of course. Then, standing on the border of Dragonier, I boomed them in my loudest voice! I clashed drums, and symbols! I sang!

And then wights and there was an ungodly roar that shook me to my bones--the EXPERIENCE! But, your message WAS DELIVERED!

My warmest regards,

Gearbear Sparkthistle

PS Some of the messages seem to have possessed additional effects upon reading. Never fear! I am SINGED but UNHARMED! Copies of the letters follow. (Wights my friends, spirited away the originals! Haha!)

PPS Per suggestions, I at great difficulty (I jest, this was of course a simple task for my magnificently oiled, gnomish body, signed paintings to be purchased at the Adventurer's Guild) delivered a crate of cats. However, the cats proceeded to run past a ladder against a house, then to shatter what glass was left in an attempt to get inside. Perhaps the CATS will cancel out the bad luck that Heth has had thus far. Dare we hope?


Dear Heth,

Die in a fire.

Signed, Marcus


Dear Heth,

Please enjoy the enclosed cookies, none of which are decorated with Necklaces of Fireballs. Also, check up on your children, you may be missing a few. The two are completely unrelated.

Hugs and Spiderkisses, Alba'


Dear Heth, here's a puzzle for you - how do you end the song that never ends. Kthxbai.

Regards, Voselle en'Rrdhatru


My Dearest Heth,

I hope this letter reaches you and that you will give it thought and consideration. It has recently been noted that you are embarking upon a quest to destroy the world and turn it into a pale dark shadow of what it is now. A sentiment I sometimes share if I am to be honest, for the stupidity of man is surely one of the greatest forces in the universe and only the utter destruction of the world we know could rid us of this. However as it is a diverse world that would give credit to some of the wisdom it has to offer on the other hand. So it is with these things I mind that I present you with a thought. First and foremost I would look to suggest a grander scope for your plans. You sir are very nearly if not already a god upon this mortal plane. Yet consider that none of the gods hold total way over this realm. Now surely you could spread your power and turn all to ash and the void but would it not be a greater challenge to Lord over all of this realm as it is currently? With all its peoples and flaws as it is. No being has done it before, not even the gods rule supreme. So I put the challenge before you. Seek not to destroy but one pitiful realm but take on a goal worthy of your power, prestige and might. Becomes the supreme lord over everything, force even the gods to bow to you and all your supreme power. Destruction is easy but ruling, true ruling over all things is a grand task nobody has succeeded at. Yet anyhow.

Forever in your defiance, Terewin, Knight of the Blue Rose


HETH, GREAT PALADIN WILL GET YOU!

Signed, Sandy OMG Such a Fan!


Enclosed in this letter are a pair of foul smelling socks! The note instructs the Gnomish Traveller to: "PLease throw these into Dragonier. I am told dragons have very sensitive noses and the smell will be offensive."


Dear Heth: When you conquer the known world can I be elevated to be the Keeper of Your Library? I'll keep it stocked with dragon snacks for us both and even bring pens suitable for our giant, clawed hands.

Signed, Amoxtli


Message to Dragonier:

I'm not sure how this is going to work or if even anyone would find or read this letter. But, on a whim, I write to you, in the hopes that one day I could learn more of your culture and your ways. It pains me that much of your history and lore may have been lost or at the very least remains beyond my reach. Would that I could visit your lands without fear for my life and see the Majesty of your kingdom. It is a small wish of an apprentice wizard. But, without such wishes, we would never push ourselves to exceed the expectations placed upon us by others. I hope that whomever it is that is reading this letter knows that there is at least one person still in the world who does not look upon you with fear but with wonder and awe.

Yours in Study, Gedryn ...of no where important

Fashion and Culture

Advice for the Gentleman Adventurer!

In today's day and age there are more choices for the fashion conscience gentleman on adventure. While khazadi plaid may be to go to for most these days the true fashionable gentleman will always look for the next big thing.

One of today's greatest gnomish armor smiths, Ralpho Laurencia, has developed the latest in mithril chain shirts! With a deep v-neck, ultra-thin underpadding and his patented elastic slim fit that will ensure you will always look your best in profile. All the while never giving up the protective qualities one seeks in armor. A must-have this adventuring season!

Another notable fashion piece is the new black Trail-belt by Faby'O. Featuring twice the pocket space of the standard belt in the same space, it is truly an advancement for the gentleman on the go. Of course it is made from supple owlbear leather and features the brilliant and precise stitching we have come to expect from the llyranesi leatherworker Faby'O. Get yours today.

Tariday, Quintoos 29, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Our Report on Rune

The Alexandrian government reports that Rune vanished from the earth this last Variday, Quintoos 21, 1018. As of this time, it appears a massive translocation effect was used, not unlike that used on Alexandria (unwillingly) years ago. Referred to as 'The Time of Mists,' Alexandria vanished for 5 years. To the world, this appeared to be only weeks.

Rune however, was able to control its disappearance and arrival. In a report issued to both Alexandrian officials, and the Tribune, Rune states that the act was done to thwart efforts by Heth to convert both Rune's and Dran's dead into undeath on the battlefield.

The battle had just begun to turn thanks in part by the arrival of khazad forces against the Dranei. The khazad had faced similar losses during their great summit, due to double-dealing by Arendt with tribes from Stormgarde, and involvement from the khazad-ur. They seemed eager to strike back.

Individual reports to follow in this edition.


Iron Tide Falls! ...Arendt, too?

Rune's sacrifice saved a great many lives, including those of the Dranei. This has apparently shifted the balance between citizens of the two countries, and not in Arendt's favor. In addition, one of Arendt's closest advisors was outed as a servant of Heth. What this means is unknown, but the Tide may be disbanded for now. Arendt's fate itself is uncertain. Though supposedly deposed, he is an ambitious man, and the world should not expect to see the last of him.

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Alexandria's Status, Post Dran and Rune War and the Position of Heth

Strategists find most worrisome the emergence of Heth from Dragonier. This is the first time the great dragon had set foot outside of the fallen nation and it does not bode well. His armies now even more bolstered by the transformation of army dead into wights has lead to renewed major power negotiations on how to contain them. With these negotiations no longer sidetracked by the Dran and Rune war, and the Tide-driven coup in Dun Morden, politicians expect discussions to renew, and forces to move into place.

Rumors suggest that Heth himself may not be killed, but contained. This is due the the presence of a "Void" within him. The details of what this "Void" is are forthcoming, and we hope to have a report by the Arcanists soon.

Alexandrian elite report their gratitude towards the return of its irregulars back within the city. As a safety measure, political leaders have ordered the Planar Disjunction Canon be readied.

Now, the attention of the Council is squarely on dealing with local problems while pushing for a combined effort to retake Dragonier. A strategy of continued containment for Dragnier while finding solutions to defeat Heth seems to be their goal. For now, however, entirely too many local problems have persisted which will now need to be dealt with.


Fires in Alexandria

Fires were reported in Alexandria. Details forthcoming as we find them, though rumors suggest they were tied to a cult.


Charn Warship Damaged During Battle, No One is Sad

The noted warship belonging to Charn, the Wraith, suffered some kind of explosion during the battle. Heth is suspected, but rumors of a sith-Makar being behind it persist. Though damaged, the Charnish soldiers and workers aboard it seemed able to jury-rig enough repairs to get it flying again and out of Rune. Of course, nobody is really sad to see them go.

Fashion and Culture

Parody Entertains Noble District

The following parody has been heard sung in certain parlours and salons in the Noble District. While its origin is unknown at this time, it is believed to be a parody of racial tensions in Alexandria. Whatever its intent, it has caused some discord and uncomfortable chuckles.

Oh give me a home,
That is free from a gnome,
Where we don't constantly live in fear,
They're bringing their tricks,
They're bringing their crime,
Throw the gnomes out of Alexandria!
Gnomes! Gnomes are so strange!
When they're out don't let your kids play!
So seldom is heard,
An intelligent word,
About gnomes from the council today!

The song goes on to extol the sins of various other humanoid species, including the arvek nar, gobbers, sith-makar and mul'niessa. Most are considered too offensive to publish.


Trials of the Tribune Comic!

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Personal and Editorials

Looking for Group!

Looking for able-bodied and -minded inviduals to form an expedition to Emereth.

Payment provided from spoils of treasure and loot.

All applicants must be physically and mentally able to deal with cold weather and other harsh conditions of the northern wastes.

All inquiries to Jokul

Editor's Note: There was a bizarre smudge of ink after the name, like someone had started writing a family name there only to immediately decide against it.


A Totally Not Long-Winded Editorial on the History of Arcane Practice and Guardianship

With the vanishing of Rune, and its reappearance, now could not be a more appropriate time to touch on the history of magic. While Rune today, and now our various magicking schools across the nations, represent the pinnacle of arcane achievement on Ea, their history goes back to the appearance of dragons, and the arrival of the sildanyari.

Our oldest references tell us that it was the dragons who first developed the arcane principle. Knowledgable and powerful, they passed this knowledge onto the sildanyari, where it would later spread to the world.

The conflict between Taara and other deities over its guardianship is as old as this. During the early days, Taara manipulated mana to sunder the sildanyari apart. Of course, depending on which history book you look at, the tale will be somewhat different. However, it does give us a new perspective, at the very least, on Eluna's more recent role.

Sage "I am Hip" Balten, of Alexandria's School of Divination, Progressive Arcanists

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Great Paladin Advice Column

Q: Great Paladin, what toppings do you put on your breakfast waffles? A: Breakfast consists of a cool, refreshing glass of water and precisely two and a half flavourless rice waifers. Nothing should distract from the pursuit of justice.

However, were I a waffle or pancake eater, I would top it with whipped cream and strawberries.


Q: Great Paladin, what if you're a paladin of the god of cooking and being a gourmet is part of your code? A: I would question the existance of such a paladin as I can't imagine the god of cooking to be within one step away from Lawful Good. Some recipes are downright evil.


GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Editor's Note: We here at the Tribune would state that the Great Paladin's mention of pancakes is as a nod towards fairness and equality. It is not taken to be an endorsement of the Pancake Conspiracy. Viva butter-filled and delicious breakfast squares!

Gilday, Quintoos 09, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE

Front Page

Good sails, Master Tangisir!

His business finished for the autumn, we report that Merchant Tangisir and his quiet accomplice Jaidat are returning to Veyshan. A young, bronze dragon with promise among the merchant guilds, he claims at least two cousins among Alexandria's own.

"It has been a pleasure," the young dragon reported to the Tribune. Tangisir caused ripples this last season with his presentation of tlagi, a rare tea crafted from an even rarer desert flower. "My familiy had an usual crop this season. A little surplus," he had said at the time. The tlagi is well-known in tea circles for its unique combination of flavors. It is said it carries all flavors, from the crisp sunrise of the desert morning to its heated sunset. A thousand poems have been made of its petals.

He suggests that he will return next season, if Alexandria shows an interest in the flower. "Perhaps I may make the journey anyway," he added. "After all, my family is here." Whether he returns or not, the dragon's presence has "infused" some much-needed flavor into the local tea houses.

Good sails, Master Tangisir!


Gnomen Noodles are Warmth in a Cup!

When we reported on the Gnomen Noodles trend last Hattanani 27, we thought they were "one of those trends" that was seeing a surge in popularity. However, winter has given this ancient foodstuff an unexpected boost. Though invented hundreds ago by the practical khazad under the title "Soup-in-a-Cup," gnomish ingenuity has turned it into a robust industry.

Bonbargo Sparkgrinder over at Fizzy Muffintorque reports they're launching a new Owlshly Beary flavor of Gnomen Noodle. "We're basing it around the robust flavor of owlbear, with a hint of summer months! Perfect for the chill weather!" Each cup will come with a small packet of dried fruits.

Cladget Butterfoods is proud to announce its "Hint of Elemental" line, which comes in hot (fire), smooth (water), and similar flavors.

Both brands are expected to hit stands by the end of the week, just in time for the snow. They and similar hot foods may prove more popular than usual this winter. Weathermages throughout the city have said to expect an unusually cold winter.


Fashion and Culture

The Crimson Pen's Final Edition??

Warning: This article contains potential spoilers.

In the previous edition of Alexandria's greatest mystery-romance, the Crimson Pen shocked fans by leaving Mereth poisoned! We were told how he lay crumpled, in Dandy's arms.

In this latest tale, the TRECHEROUS JYRANA comes face to face with Dandy! Dandy, inconsolate after the horrors of Mereth's death. Did Jyrana poison him? Was it a mysterious, unnamed third party? The mysteries abound, and this reporter cannot wait to finish the latest in the series!

It is impossible to understate the popularity of this series within Alexandria, and the mystery author only adds to its "mystery of mysteryness," according to one avid reader, Gim Bordi. We at the Tribune have received letter after letter of outrage at the manly Merth's demise! There is no more walking space in this reporter's office.

Unfortunately, we at the Tribune do not know the Crimson Pen's true identity. However, we advise readers to be WARY.

Mereth's death has inspired many "copycat" authors to recraft the ending. Within one of these "copycat editions" Mereth rises from the dead to rescue his beloved! Another copy delivered to our office reveals that Jyrana was a dragon all along. While some are undoubtedly motivated by Mereth's tragic plight, their publications muddy finding the true story.

Will the Crimson Pen survive the controversy??

Lost and Found

Found: Kickball-sized ball of fuzz. Appears to make a "gnarp" noise. Free to anyone--ohgodithasmylegHELP

Lost: Small hat with a blue trim, red silk interior. Please return to Ilgam at Ma Rosie's if found.

Lost: Pale scarf with amber beading. Please contact Fizclok at Ma Rosie's if found.

Free: Chip's is offering a free beer with every purchase of our new, bbq platter! Offer good through Variday only!


Recent Rumors (1018)

Korday, Rhaltas 20, 1018

Front Page

The Green Takes on Heth in Upcoming Hunt

The Temple of Gilead reports its readiness for the upcoming Hunt. "We are prepared this season to answer the cry of the Green, which has too long been ignored between the petty struggles of Dran and Rune!" came a statement from one of the Hunters leading the effort.

"Heth sinks his claws into the Green, as we mortals look carelessly away. He also hunts the souls there. How many are left behind, held there by his immense gravity? That is why we have chosen the borderlands for the Hunt." The Temple declared it would lead with "action, as well as word." Whether souls are left behind is a matter of debate, though statements from the Daeusite temples seem to confirm it.

"While Heth is no demon, he shares some aspects with them. For example, the hunger for power. We saw recently the Binder Asumit's recent attempt, which was thwarted by the heroes of Alexandria, as well as an alliance between the local Temples of Light, as well as assistance from Myrddion," Sunguard Flask said, when asked about the possibility.

The Temple of Vardama says it expects a number of its faithful to join in, as well. They have also offered their expertise on creatures within the borderlands. Surprisingly, a local priest of Thul also stepped forward, but no one is taking him seriously.


Instant Fortified Warrior an Instant Disaster!

Alexandria's infamous inventive duo, Brundle and Fythe, made their triumphant return to Alexandria just in time to foul up a fair! Their so-called 'Instant Fortified Warrior' grew to ridiculous sizes before being brought back down to size by the intellect of the souls present.

Brundle and Fythe have spoken with officials. The Watch expressed its concern that the two will, hopefully, not beleaguer the citizen of Alexandria further with their antics.

On condition of anonymity, an official at the fair was commented as saying: Yeah, and pigs may fly. Then again, this has actually happened, so...

Fashion and Culture

The Crimson Pen Strikes Again!

The Crimson Pen's latest has hit the stands, and copies are already selling out. In it, the Pen introduces a new character. Dandy, the gentle-voiced Myrrish sil, cannot decide if she wants to escape Mereth's manly clutches! Jyrana, jealous of them both, turns down the dark path of poisoner in an act of desperate revenge! Can Mereth's manly strength save them all? An excerpt follows;

Mereth and Dandy met under the Highbridge, away from the eyes of all but the most wretched peasants - who, having no taste of love themselves, sat in ashamed awe of their forbidden love.
"Mereth," Dandy whispered, "I think I'm being followed."
Mereth frowned manfully. "But by whom, my dulcet darling? Who would dare follow you into splendor but myself?"
"You know who," Dandy said, pressing an alabaster hand to her brow. "It is Jyrana! I see her at the market, I see her in the gardens, even in my mirror at night!"
"But why would you see her so many places? Your fiendishly clever magic-machines prevent you from being followed!"
"There is only one way to explain it," Dandy said wretchedly, pressing herself into Mereth's fulsome, muscular chest. "Her jealousy has pushed her past the boundaries of all mortal sense. She has become...psiometric!"

In response to the publication, several "copycat" authors have sprung up, hoping to ride the sudden wave of fame and also, the novels' "mysterious air of mystery."

Local and Lifestyle

Ancient Legends Reborn!

Reporters with ears to the ground are reporting a resurgence of local tales and legends! We've done some investigating to find out just what is going on!

OOC Note: When we remade the grid back in 2011-2012, we invited the community to give it a history. Through now and the next few editions, we'll be sharing what they wrote! The following tales can be heard among the gossip columns in Alexandria.


Ancient Legends Reborn: The Cousin's Statues

This tale is often told around the campfire late at night. Deep within the catacombs, one of the most famous, or infamous statues is the Cousins' Statues.

Some 100 years ago, there were three brothers, the two older brothers were honest merchants, while the third was a scoundrel. He lusted after the wealth that his brothers' had, but there was a problem, even if his brothers, their wives would get the money and if their wives died their two children would get their money, only if both their families died would he get their wealth.

Now most wicked men would find easier sport, but this man was jealous of his brothers and wanted what they had. Some say he pledged his soul to the Shadow Sorceress or to the False Lady, but however he did it he came up with a plan to murder his family and get away with it.

The wicked man whispered sweet lies into his brothers' ears, honey coated half-truths that soon had brother turning against brother. Words were said, voices got raised, there was shoving and pushing and soon the two good brothers were brawling in the street. Even after the guards broke it up the brothers challenged each other to a duel to the death. Before the duel the evil brother coated each sword with poison so no matter who won they'd both die and die they did.

Two widows grieving and the wicked man's barded silky words whispered in their ears and before the month was out the two widows had gone to join their husbands in the Grey Hall. It was a shame, it was a pity, oh who would think of the children; their evil uncle would.

Four deaths in one family in a span of a month was pushing it and the Evil Uncle knew that. He wasn't worried though. He started to slowly poison the children and in 6 months two active healthy cousins were bed-ridden and worse the poison the Evil Uncle was using was slowly stealing their sight. By the time the two cousins succumb to the poison they were both blind. The Evil Uncle not wanting suspicion cast on him buried the children under his wine cellar then declared the children missing and spent the next 2 months looking for them. He hired adventurers, mostly new ones to try to find his lost nephew and niece, but alas no one ever found a trace of them.

The Evil Uncle thinking himself in the clear started to throw lavish parties and he would eat and drink and partying until all hours of the night. It started slowly at first, he would hear a child's laughter and be totally alone. Things would fall off the table. He started to hear voiced. "Uncle come play with us. Catch us Uncle catch us. Uncle come find us."

Soon he couldn't eat or sleep as the children's voices wouldn't torment him all day and all night. He tried to appease them. He in secret buried their bones in the local graveyard. He tried to throw money at the problem, having life sized statues built where he buried them. Nothing the Evil Uncle did would stop the children's voices. By this time the voices has started to become more malevolent, like children teasing.

The Evil Uncle unable to get away from the torment of the dead children had built for then an elaborate mausoleum deep in the catacombs under the graveyard. Done under the pretext that it was his own, he hoped that this would finally appease the spirits of the two cousins he had poisoned. Once construction was done, the Evil Uncle had the bodies of the two children secretly laid to rest one moonless night.

As the Evil Uncle was in the mausoleum he heard the children's voices again, but this time the workmen he brought with him heard the voices too. Neither the Evil Uncle nor the workmen had noticed the statues of the children had been missing from the graveyard. The last words that the Evil Uncle heard was, "I see you."

Only one workman managed to make it out and he died soon after, his eyes having been ripped from his head. In the morning the statues were found each holding a set of eyes in their hands.

To this day the statues of the cousins stand in the graveyard of Alexandria and on moonless nights it's said that the statues come to life and play games. Woe be to anyone who finds these children though, as the games they play you might not survive.

OOC: Thanks, Cesran!

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin, what is the definition of 'justice'?
A: Well, it starts with two groups. Them and us. Then we slay them, and it becomes just us. The them is usually the hobgoblins or the gnomes.
Q: Great Paladin, I am definitely Darshan and I want to know two things: A) Is Crimson Pen an employee of the Tribune and B) If so, when is their lunch break and are they allergic to deadly poison. -Definitely Darshan
A: A) I am not an employee of, nor affiliated with, the Tribune and as such am not privy to such information. I would suggest cross referencing the writing style of the novels with the various articles in the tribute. Perhaps get a statistician to help. Third, B) I have no idea if the Crimson Pen is allergic to deadly poison or not. As an alternative, I have found very few things to be immune to blunt force trauma.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Variday, Rhaltaas 17, 1018

Hunters and War

The Green has declared war this season.

Oh, and rangers received some great upgrades in RP26. :D

Meetup: HUNTER'S GATHERING
When: Thursday!
Description: A gathering of hunters, druids, shamans and more to discuss the latest Hunt! The Green has effectively declared a war on Heth, and demanded the world stand up and take notice!
This is a time to discuss politics, plans, and renew bonds among the wild communities!
OOC: This is a Meetup! There will be an ooc portion open for folks to put together stories, plots, and so on, in addition to RP!


Druidmeme01.jpg


Variday, Rhaltaas 03, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue X)

Front Page

Tunnels Uncovered Beneath Artificer's Hall

Statements issued from the Artificer's Hall suggest that Callem 25th's occurrence, whereupon the Artifice Hall stood UP, was a fluke. "We believe one of our professors to be a victim of the recent Asumit possession," reported one, Professor Litigashun. "Unfortunately, this led to certain delusions."

These delusions apparently led the possessed, whose name is not mentioned for the protection of his family, to reconstruct a device capable of animating large objects. However, the device burned out "before it had even started," according to the professor. Unfortunately, this exposed a number of labs and workshops beneath the Hall.

"It exposed those, and I am afraid old pathways as well." Was the Hall aware of the connection? The professor claims not, though not everyone agrees. Investigations are still underway.

Official statements from the Hall to be posted later in this edition.


Vandalism Reported!

Two young squires and an Enclave artificier were arrested in connection with squatting and vandalism. They claim to have absolutely no memory of the events that led to them possibly holding an Explorer's Guild contractor captive. Since the purported captive equally has no memory of the events, they are to be released.


Ancient Legends Reborn!

Reporters with ears to the ground are reporting a resurgence of local tales and legends! We've done some investigating to find out just what is going on!


OOC Note: When we remade the grid back in 2011-2012, we invited the community to give it a history. Through now and the next few editions, we'll be sharing what they wrote! The following tales can be heard among the gossip columns in Alexandria.


Ancient Legends Reborn: An Angel in Disguise

Originally investigated by Moonshadow, c. 1012 (from 2012 real-time)

During times of great wars, or great plagues, The Soldier's Defense hospital would inexplicably gain an additional hand or two to help with the wounded or sick.

One of those that arrive to help, is someone clad in blue robes in silver trim, and donning not only a medallion of faith dedicated to Althea, but she bears the tattoo, upon the back of each hand, of the evening star, the symbol of Althea. Those that have encountered her says she speaks with a soft, but powerful voice, and is quite humble in her healing abilities. However, she only identifies herself as 'Aurora' and gives no last name.

However, Those that are part of the Hearthguard ner Sentinels have never heard of this woman. Nor are there any records of this woman in any manuscript or record. For those that have seen her however, say she doesn't engage in conversation, and is a woman of few words.


Ancient Legends Reborn: Origins of the Great Contest

Originally investigated by Jibbom, c. 1012 (from 2012 real-time)

Long, long ago, when Alexandria was little more than a sleepy fishing village and the Gods still took strolls about the material plane, it is said that the city was the site of a truly legendary contest between two of the Celestine.

According to legend, it was here that Angoron and Tarien initially met, long ago, after roaming the world and surveying their domains. Upon their first meeting, the two gods traded boasts and tall tales of their accomplishments and the great deeds their followers had achieved. Needless to say, a friendly rivalry was quick to develop.

All who tell the tale agree that a contest of some sort quickly ensued. Angoron attempted to overshadow Tarien with his great might and valor, while the Coyote relied upon his cunning and trickery to get the better of his new friend. The god's respective clergies will generally claim that their own patron emerged victorious, but most telling the tale say that the contest ended in some sort of draw or tie. Equally murky is the precise nature of the contest, though it is usually described as a comprehensive test of bravery, wit, strength, and skill. There is also some dispute about where precisely the contest took place, with both the worshippers of Angoron and Tarien claiming their temples are built upon the spot in question.

While the specifics of the legend are murky, none can doubt the influence the mythical contest has had upon Alexandrian culture. Every so often, at no particular time, the priests of Tarien and Angoron claim 'divine inspiration' motivates them to host another contest, some manner of competition between the two temples. These contests have been everything from races to tug of war matches to complex sporting tournaments. True to their faiths, the Angoronites have attempted to prevail through strength and power, while the Tarienites attempt to find ways to employ guile and cunning to gain an edge. Whatever the result of any particular contest, both sides tend to have a good time and regard the entire affair as a reaffirmation of the friendship and camaraderie shared by the two deities.

In recent generations, the 'Great Contest' has grown more expansive, including many participants outside of the followers of Angoron and Tarien. The temples of Kor and Ceinara have regularly sent prominent worshippers to support Angoron's teams, while Eluna and Gilead's followers have been frequently seen among the teams in support of Tarien. In practice, any follower of a good or neutral god is generally free to participate with the team of their choice. The contests are generally welcomed, a happy and unpredictable event which is very much a part of the Alexandrian spirit.

Fashion and Culture

Practical Waffles for Sith-makar

By Myrana

You will need...

2 Cups Cricket Flour
2 Eggs
1 t. Salt
4 t. Baking Powder
2 t. Mango Juice
1.5 c Milk
1/4 c. Pearl Sugar
1/3 c. Bone Marrow Compound Butter
1 t. Vanilla Extract

To make the waffles...

  1. In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar; set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature.
  2. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, butter and vanilla.
  3. Ladle the batter into a preheated waffle iron. Cook the waffles until golden and crisp.
  4. Top with pat of bone marrow compound butter. Serve!


The Mysterious 'Crimson Pen' Remains at Large--New Book to Follow!

Due to the riotous popularity of the first book, rumours have started flying that the unknown author intends to continue in this vein. Though speculation is running rampant, the title has already been released: Jyrana in Veyshan--Rescue from the Seraglio! Excerpt as follows:

"Her voice like a thousand sweet bells and with a continence like the most heavenly moon, Jyrana swept by in her array of fine, sheer silks, tiny chimes singing with every trembling movement. The Sheik gazed upon her, perfumed and bathed and dressed fit to steal his wheezing breath away...He waddled forward with sinister delight..."

The author, dubbed only as 'The Crimson Pen' remains at large!

Gread Paladin Advice Column

Q: GREAT PALADIN, what do you do with a lethal wewapon?

A: Only draw it in times of great need. I am fortunate enough to have great need of it all the time.


An Update, and Interview, on the Uprising of the Artificer's Hall

The Artificer's Hall released an official statement today, intending to address concerns erupting from recent events on 25th Callem, 1018. Early that evening, the Hall stood up as though a great automation, shook, and then halted. While the construction has not moved sense, it has caused no end of speculation.

The Hall originally reported that it was investigating the issue. Today, Hurdrizh Silverarm provided us here at the Tribune with an update. Silverarm is a priest of Reos, and a member of the Artificer's Hall. He started off quickly, and to the point.

Tribune: So, to get to the question that's on everyone's mind--what caused the eruption?

Silverarm: We now know that the eruption was caused by the acts of a mad man. Among his belongings, we found journals dedicating himself to, and praising Asumit. I don't think that's the work of a sound mind, and we're lucky to have heroes here, in Alexandria, who were able to address it.

Tribune: So this was the work of Asumit, the demon binder?

Silverarm: We believe so, ultimately. Asumit recently attempted to possess any number of people. We're very fortunate. Then, heroes within our own community--working with the Artificer's Hall, of course--thwarted him. That is what ultimately happened, here.

Tribune: The Hall moved, though. It's also showing some Kulthian markings. How do you explain that?

Silverarm: It's just old. ...originally, maybe it was inspired by them, who knows. It was hollowed out though, and made into a place of service and learning. I think that speaks to the intent of artificers in this city, more than anything else. That is, either they wanted to show their conquest over the Kulthian...foolishness, or show how mistakes could be transformed. And I think we've done that.

Tribune: So there is no possibility it will move--that is, animate again? How did this 'corrupt man' manage it?

Silverarm: It has no mechanisms to enable its movement. Its innards are just classrooms and offices. As to how he moved it--well, he was inspired by Asumit...

Tribune: So, we don't expect it to move anytime soon? That may relieve some of our readers out there, but there have been other rumors, as well. Could you address those?

Silverarm: Sure! The rumors are that it opens up into some old areas beneath Alexandros. Areas the city had been built on, and that is true. However, the Hall--we take security seriously. When Animus, honor him, fell, we were the first out to repair old mana lamps and make sure Alexandria's airships flew. So, we're taking this seriously.

Tribune: Can you expand on that some?

Silverarm: Well...it means we're building a seal around it. I mean, there could be something down there, there could not be. Either way, we're going to be careful--and prepared.

Tribune: We're glad to hear about it. It isn't every day a building gets up and walks. However, and we have heard this from some of our readers. Can you address rumors of it being tied to Morduzum?

Silverarm: <nervous laugh> It's possible. I haven't been down there myself, but I did hear about some rust monsters coming up. If it did, that would absolutely be a concern, yes.

Afterwards, Silverarm told us about the Hall's sponsorship of an Adventure Troop, and upcoming classes. Information on these classes, and the Adventure Troop, may be found by speaking with local Artifice Hall representatives, or, Silvearm says, he is willing to answer letters directly.

We'll be following up with additional reports, as information develops.

OOC: For more on this article, contact: Alik, Fazahd, Aria, MAC-B1G, or Stirling IC!

Variday, Callem 29, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue IX)

Fashion and Culture

A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Interviews, V -- Esmaudalein of the Gnomes Today, I am interviewing Esmaudalein, an active and gnomish member of our local theatre community! Esmaudalein is noted for her interesting performances, or unique as described by some--and was able to take time our from her schedule to meet with us. In it you will find descriptions of Selentia, the land of a thousand princes!


Nilou: Thank you for coming, and helping us with this project.

Esmaudalein: Darling, I'm more than happy to help out. Publicity, sweetie, that's the name of the game.

Nilou: Oh, of course. Now, as you know we're focusing on culture and what makes Alexandria a melting pot! We're quite unique in the world. Where is it you're from, ...Esmaudalein, is it? Am I pronouncing that right?

Esmaudalein: Call me /Esme/, darling. I am from /Selentia/, the Land of Princesses. Not, as according to popular rumour, Rosalia. No, mine is that beautiful land of salons, wine and luxe.

Nilou: Ah! I may have heard that rumor, now that I think on it. Oh, such things float about in a city like this one. Now, Selentia...the land of a thousand princes, I've heard it called! Do tell our readers a bit about it, if you would?

Esmaudalein: A thousand princes, but alas, none right for me. Perhaps save the Bard....It is a pleasant land, full of great manor houses and beautiful splendour. Where the poor daughter of a woodsman may meet her prince. Salons of exquisite intellect and bohemian delights. Wonderful balls---oh! for my own debutant ball to be replayed a thousand times would not be enough.

Nilou: Ooh, the manors are legendary. ...do you mind? Could you picture--oh, one of your favorites, and describe it? Let's bring it to life for our readers! And which bard?

Esmaudalein: <here, Esme becomes upset that I do not know who she is speaking of--and when I hear the name, I quite understand!> The Bard??! Surely a man of letters such as yourself knows of the great playwright, that muse of all thespians and poets, the great Gaudarne?

Now, the manors---oh, my! My favourite, the Durretti House, by the sea. Four fine wings surrounding a courtyard of such exquisite beauty that you would /die/ to be allowed within." Almost a visible swoon. "Fountains of liquid grace, and meticulously hand-picked pebble paths. Hundreds of cats preening and being groomed... Expansive grounds, with such fabulous formal gardens as you would not believe. Plants from all over Ea, raised from seed by skilled druids. And the towers---my, imagine ascending to the eighth or ninth floor on those fine marble steps, to be greeted with the gilded walls, the rosewood floors, the thick sheepskin rugs, the tapestries, the art of a thousand generations... and with the finest company one could hope for. Princes, princesses, assassins, diplomats, spies, dukes, barons, generals, artists, actors, writers, merchants---and me, the daughter of a simple woodcutter, invited to the salon in the west tower of Gaurdarne...

Editor's note: It's since come to our desks that the description Esme gave of Selentia is not quite accurate! We assume she just became carried away.

Nilou: Gaudarne! Ah! Of course. A perfect inspiration to--take inspiration from, you know. Now...But what caused you to leave all of this splendour?

Esmaudalein: The lure of the world-renowned, and most excellent, Bardic College of Alexandria. That fine institution, which can give such excellent training to actors such as myself. I was fortunate to be patronized by a wealthy merchant---with whom, I might add, and contrary to rumours, I did not share a bed, nor anything more licentious than lunch and polite conversation.

Nilou: I had scarce heard the rumors. Now--so you left Selentia and came to the College. What surprised you most about it?

Esmaudalein: The songs, dear, the songs. Oh, they'll... melt your face. Why, I know my fair share of bawdy tunes, but none quite as shocking as I heard within the walls of my dear alma mater. Yes, the songs, and the rather... <she pauses> /Loose morals./

Nilou: Oh...oh! Well...yes, I suppose some areas in the city can be known for that sort of thing. ...I'm terribly glad you've come by though, Esme! It's been a delight.

Esmaudalein: Marvelous, darling, the /pleasure/ was chiefly mine. I look forward to seeing my name in print again.


Interviews, VI -- Durrankar of the Sith-makar Here, I interview Durrankar, a steward of Mictlan! Mictlan was gifted to the sith-makar through an arrangement with our local druids. Here, we talk about sith-makar greetings, caste, and how they view the treaty! Read on for more!

Nilou: Nilou Farsens Scribbetter, Alexandrian Tribune. I'm thrilled you've agreed to help me with this project! <here I offered him a hand, which proved to be a mistake...keep reading!>

Durrankar: Durrankar, steward of Mictlan. it is nice to meet you. Interesting that you've asked for an...interview...

Nilou: I hope you think so! I imagine our readers will be so excited! You know, in the history of things, your people are so new! The sith-makar! So you are new, at least to us. I heard no one knew about you until the last...one hundred years or so?

Durrankar: That is because we did not come from the jungle of Am'Shere until then." <here, Durrankar looks at my hand> "What that....supposed to signify something? <he then tilts his head to the side, and moves his tail about>

Nilou: Oh! The crate is here because...well, we're a different height, you see. Otherwise, I might be interviewing your kneecaps, you know. <pauses> Oh! You mean to shake hands? I take it the sith-makar don't do that sort of thing, then? How do you greet one another?

Durrankar: Our normal greeting is 'Peace on your nest'. Which is like wishing no harm to take place. A nest, to the sith makar can symbolize many things. The home, the heart, your fire." Durrankar explains pointedly. "in Am'shere it is very much a battle for survival. So, protecting the 'little ones' is paramount. As they cannot defend themselves, it is up to the rest of us to defend them, teach them, how to hunt, to fight. To take, or crush an egg is not only an insult to the one who laid it, but it is an insult to the entire tribe.

Nilou: That is fascinating. You know, that reminds me. I imagine there must be a few differences in our culture, so I apologize ahead of time. Do let me know if something is offensive, or unclear. I think if we work it out, it could help our readers understand you, that is the sith-makar, better. ...Speaking of cultures, I had a question for you from one of our readers. We keep hearing the term 'cihuaa.' What is that, exactly? Could you tell me about it?

<Included here is an artist's render of a generic sith-makar demonstrating a tail-thump, with the caption: "A sith-makar greeting!">

Durrankar: First, let me explain that. <Durrankar gestures to my picture> That is a friendly greeting, before the greeting. In Am'shere, you have many stealthy predators. The 'tail thump' as you call it...is letting someone know they are there. it is loud, where there should be stealth. In essence, you are announcing your presence to someone you consider a friend. It also signifies approval of something, or that they like an idea.

Cihuaa.......it signifies 'life partner' or 'mate'. I have one myself, Un'eth. She is also of the woods. However, Life partner is more accurate, since sith'makar do 'mate' for life, the bond is much deeper, like two halves of a heart. it is not to be entered to lightly, nor is it about creating hatchlings....it is a bond like no other. You share your fire, food, warmth, and more with another.

Nilou: Is that why most of the sith-makar don't ...what is the phrase? Oh! Take cihuaa? Go cihuaa? Claim...? As you can see, it's a term we often hear, but so different!

Durrankar: Politics are meaningless in Am'shere. We fight for survival. You are either hunter....or prey. You do not want to be prey. And the term is 'take' cihuaa. It is not like 'marriage'. You are either happy with your cihuaa before you take her...or him....or you do not become a cihuaa, or take one.

Editor's note: Some research suggests it's as often political as it is personal. But, I cannot claim to have an insider's knowledge here.>

Nilou: You know...I'd heard one other thing that puzzled me. What is caste, and what does that mean? And...which caste are you? Or is that a rude question?

Durrankar: It is not rude. A caste is......something you do. And the names are self explanatory. Hunter caste tracks down and gets food for others. Warrior caste are the guardians of the tribe. The shaman caste are the teachers and the spellcasters of the tribes. And the merchant caste are the traders of the tribes. The Merchant caste are the ones that bring goods from Am'shere...I am of the shaman caste.

Nilou: The shaman caste! What does that mean? Well, to you, personally?

Durrankar: They are the guides of the tribes. They teach how to use spells, or how to bring beneficial things to your tribe. Say...you are trying to get a medicinal herb for your child, but you do not know which it is. You go to a shaman to find out which herb it is...and the shaman sends the hunter to get it. A shaman is a position where all eyes look to you for...advisor. That is what it is.

Nilou: I'm given to understand, well, you just emerged in the last 100 years. Alexandria is the first...outside nation you've made a Treaty with? What did you think when you first saw it?

Durrankar: It was a great opportunity. The sith-makar would not survive without help, and it is good to learn new things from others." <here, Durrankar thumps his tail again, a movement which I am not sure I understand; in this context it seemed to be an affirmative> If we did not venture out of Am'shere....I would not have met my cihuaa, so I'm a little biased.

Nilou: Oh! Well, we are down to the last question, now. Thank you for talking with me so far. For this one, I would like you to paint a picture. If a visitor came to Am'shere, from Alexandria--what would they see? What is the impression they would get?

Durrankar: It. Is. Hot. You could sit on a stove and be cooler than in Am'shere. Not only is it hot...it is humid. Those who are not prepared will find it difficult to breathe while there. It is a jungle. Also, until you are in the care of a tribe tribe's guards, you must be prepared to defend yourself. It is a fight for survival in Am'shere, as I have said before. If you are not ready to defend yourself, or must rest for the night, you might make preparations to make yourself less of a target. Minimizing your scent, not wearing brightly colored or easy to spot clothes, and more.

However, despite the battle for survival, Am'shere is a very beautiful and vibrant jungle. Many plants and animals are in Am'shere and some are particularly beautiful, if deadly. Some of the parrots there are very colorful.

Nilou: Thank you for taking the time. And...peace to your nest? Is there a standard goodbye?

Durrankar: May the Dragonfather's wings shelter you. <He thumps his tail> That is a normal goodbye. And for us, the Dragonfather is the platinum dragon. To you, he is known as Daeus.

Ask Great Paladin!

Q: Are knitting needles truly the secret superweapons we have always feared? And by this reason, should we all be afraid of Myrana and other, perhaps secret knitters?

A: In the hands of common folk, knitting needles are harmless. Well, as harmless as anything can be harmless. However, there are some few who can put knitting needles to deadly effect. Consider, perhaps, the fighter with the Improvised Weapon feat. Or consider the paladin who smites. And then, of course, if the knitting needles are made of exceptional materials, such as adamantium, they could theoretically be used to sunder even the mightiest of weapons. However, there is one circumstance which makes all others pale in regards to potential lethality.

In the hands of the grandmother, they are truly awesome and fearsome. They can craft clothing of such garity and embarrassment that one must unfortunately wear. For only the most terrible of people could refuse to do so for a grandmother. That they must present themselves in those horrid knitted monstrosities lest they upset the kindly old matron is a cross that must be borne. A scar on the emotional psyche that can never be healed. That this is all known before even taking that fatal step simply makes it all the worse. In short, knitting needles in the hands of a grandmother can utterly destroy one's sense of self respect and place in this world.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Artificer's Hall Follow-Up

The Artificer's Hall is now several feet in the air. The building, once sedately located on the ground, now stands on eight metal legs, taller than a human is high. Precise reports of the event have been conflicting so far, ranging from a failed experiment to routine tests of existing manatech. Other reports suggest students from the Bardic College running amok. Whatever the source, the change now appears to be permanent.

Stoneworks' New Menu!

A longtime staple in Vadran Village, Stoneworks' Calzones is pleased to announce several new items to their menu! Alongside the fresh fare from local farmers, they are offering an additional number of traditional khazadi-styled sausages, mushrooms, and breads! Stop by for some good, filling calzones, khazad-aul style!


Gilday, Callem 24, 1018

Spideeeerrrs

A bizarre swarm of giant spiders were sighted on the high bridge earlier today.

Apparently, some merchants accidentally enlarged a group of them with a carelessly disposed of potion. They are now paying serious fines for their recklessness. Thankfully, Alexandria being Alexandria meant that there were numerous warriors in the immediate vicinity. Rumors indicate Myrana Jn'rajh was present (leading some to speculate that this was an elaborate divorce attempt), Alba, Jokul, Fazahd, Jacob, Ylerona and Shaoqing. For those that would recognize their descriptions, anyway.

Kesenday, Callem 19, 1018

Warfare in Skald

Rumors of inter-demon warfare in Skald have reached the ears of Alexandrians. It would appear that the Binder, Asumit, is having difficulty controlling his forces recently. It's more like an ongoing skirmish betweeen various power-hungry demons. Khazadi scouts are expressing concerns over the renewed warfare spreading out of Skald, but it's not like demons have been confined to those areas lately.


Eliday, Callem 14, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue VIII)

Fashion and Culture

A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Interviews, III -- Yelrona of the Llyranesi

Today, I am interviewing Yelrona, of the llyranesi. She makes her living within the city proper, and comes from she explains, a small town among the llyranesi. What does a llyranesi small town look like? Let's find out!

Nilou: You know, Yelrona, until recently, we never saw much of your people! I was telling someone earlier--I'm not sure we in Alexandria have a good picture of just what your homeland is like. I'm glad you came to talk with me. Could you tell me a little about it?

Yelrona: Certainly. I guess the first thing I should explain is that I'm not from Llyranost, like most of the llyranesi you see here. I'm from a small elven settlement in the Mythwood, a few weeks travel from here... well, a few weeks travel for me, anyway. Yles Namvadin -- in Trade that would be 'Sweet Water', I suppose, it was named after a nearby spring. There's not really much to tell... it's a small settlement, maybe 30 families. The biggest institution is the Temple of Eluna, where my mother was priestess. We... well, I suppose it's like any small town, right? We were mostly concerned with our own private matters, with centuries-old family feuds and whether the apple orchard out next to the river belonged to the Diemetri family or their neighbors, the Nalion." <laughs> "It was rather dull, really."

Nilou: Oh, but it's fascinating! You know, I suspect many of us have have a few misconceptions of the llyranesi. To us--well, look at the storybooks! Great forests, huge, sweeping castles that reach into the clouds...But it isn't all like that, is it? At least, not where you grew up?

Yelrona: No, not at all. I know what you mean, of course, we tell the same stories ourselves! They are part of our history. But... well, nobody tells great epic tales about bakers and tailors and <here Yelrona laughs, indicating the two of us in the room> reporters and street performers. But if you look around, there's a lot more of us than there are heroes. Most of us don't live in castles in the sky, any more than anyone else does. <pauses> There are differences, of course. There was a lot more magic in... everything... back home. Everyone had some sort of arcane connection. And... other things.

Nilou: Oh, yes! The ties of the llyranesi to the arcane are...well, legendary, I think. Do you mind a small demonstration?

Here, Yelrona looked a bit startled, but was game.

Yelrona: Mm? Sure, I suppose. I mean, I'm not a mage or anything, but... well, for example...

<...a nearby basket of pastries rustles, and an apple tart floats through the air. Throughout the rest of the interview, Yelronw takes occasional bites from it while it hovers there.>

Nilou: Hah! Wonderful! Marvellous! So...well, that's entirely fascinating. Well...that reminds me. In the stories, I heard you have a queen, Her Majesty Aeslyn Son'Doriel, and she is part of ...house Son'Doriel? But, you came from a smaller village. Were houses a thing where you're from, and--are you part of one?

Yelrona: No. Or, well, I mean, sure, we had households and family lineages, of course, but not like the Royal Houses... that was for royalty and such. Anyway, to be honest, I probably know less about the Royal Houses of the Llyranesi than you do... it just never interested me that much.

Nilou: Was it that disinterest that...brought you to Alexandria? Or what was it, exactly? Alexandria sounds a very different place than what you were describing.

Yelrona: In part, maybe. Mostly...Well, my mother was the ranking priestess of Eluna in Yles Namvadin, as I said, and everyone just assumed that one of these centuries I would take her place. Except I... well, let's just say it wasn't for me. Eventually it just became easier to follow my own path somewhere _other_ than home. And besides, look at everything that's going on! You can't just hide out in the Mythwood and wait until it passes. And also... well, can I put in a bit of a personal pitch here?

Nilou: Oh, of course.

Yelrona: So, one reason I came to Alexandros was in the hopes of finding my father, Avourel. He, er... well, he travelled a lot, but he's been gone for over thirty years by now, which is a lot even for him, and... well, I'm hoping I can find out where he is, or, you know, what happened to him. I know he was here twenty years ago or so, and I thought maybe your readers... you know, one of them might have met him?

Nilou: We can publish a picture, to be sure. Oh! Oh. If you don't have one, why. I'll take you to one of our sketch artists, once we're done. They can reconstruct him from your memories, I imagine. I don't mind at all, and am happy to help.

Yelrona: That would be wonderful. Thank you so much!

<Two images of Yelrona's father are included here, as imagined by the Tribune's sketch artist.>

Nilou: Well, I for one am glad you came to Alexandria, you know. Perhaps we can help eachother--as Alexandrians should! Though...there is something the llyranesi have done that has a lot of us wondering. I wondered if you can shed some light on it?

Yelrona: You mean the gift of magic, I assume?

Nilou: Of course! Why give something like that up? I mean--the secrets, perhaps hundreds of spells?" the reporter says, waving a small hand. "No one knows what to think, you know. Do you have a guess?"

Yelrona: Of course! You came to the right person... I remember those strategy discussions intimately. You see... <pauses> ...I have absolutely no idea. But if I had to guess, I'd guess that it was related to, well, everything that's been going on. The demons, and Heth, and, well, everything. My people, especially those who rule, magic is in our blood. If humans knew an ally was going to be attacked, they might offer weapons or soldiers to help defend them. Dwarves might offer to build secure bulwarks. Elves? Elves offer magic. <shrugs> Either that, or we actually meant to send those secrets to our cousins in the East, and put the wrong mailing label on them. One or the other.

Nilou: Well, thank you for taking the time. It's been nice to be able to talk with one of the llyranesi, aside from the storybooks, I mean. Now, let me take you to that sketch artist.

Yelrona: Thank you!

Editor's note: Alexandrians searching for a missing person are welcome to stop by the Tribune's offices, and ask an image be published, along with pertinent information. Artists and assistance may also be found through the local Watch.

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Fashion and Culture (Cont'd)

Interviews, IV -- Ga'Elian of the Sylvanori

Today, I am interviewing Ga'Elian, of the sylvanori. He resides in Alexandros and he says, makes a living protecting travellers. We also talk about some of the questions most puzzling to Alexandros, such as--what does the home of the sylvanori look like? And, of course, recent politics--at least from the sildanyari side of things!

Nilou: Ga'Elian, I understand you're a follower of Gilead?

Ga'Elian: Well mightest thou think so, but while the White Stag hath favored me greatly, 'tis His sister Niessa that I, and my tribe generally, revere first.

Nilou: You know, I recall he's the god of travel. I don't think I've heard of...Niessa, is it? Could you tell me a little bit about her?

Ga'Elian: Among humans, She is called 'Eluna'. She hath held sway among the Sildanyar since antiquity and the revels of the fae are normally celebrated in Her silver light. More recently, the eldritch dominions have looked to Her for the grace of inspiration.

Nilou: Oh! You know, that's fascinating. Do all sildanyari call Her that, or is it more locak, from your tribe?

Ga'Elian: Llyranesi also know Her by this name. As for the Mul'niessa, I know but little of their ways.

Nilou: Fascinating! Until recently, the llyranesi and sylvanori kept to themselves. I think the image we all have of them is from storybooks. The mysterious forest, or a shining castle surrounded by vines. Do you mind telling me a little what your home was like? I think our readers would be interested. What do you think is the first thing a visitor would be struck by?

Ga'Elian: Methinks most civilized folk might suppose we were camping. But the Faravanilas tribe moveth from place to place as the game wandereth. The Perianath is wide enough that we never go more that a hundred leagues from one place to another. The rocks and streams are our friends, and we have frequent contact with the fae and other creatures of the wild. Overall, I would guess that city-folk would be aroused by the abundant greenery and clean air, although I suppose some might be frightened by the native sounds of the wilderness.

<Image of Ga'Elian's homeland, as described to one of the Tribune's sketch artists: http://bit.ly/29rnFo6 >

Nilou: Fascinating. What brought you to Alexandria, then? It is very different.

Ga'Elian: Good question. Thou speakest aright concerning my people--that until recently, but few ventured from Llyranost. Why, even now 'tis mostly those of my generation who feel the call to reach out to the greater world. See, over the centuries, there hath been a marked decline in the rate of Sildanyari birth. In recent decades, this decline hath accelerated to alarming depths. Many believe that interacting or even interbreeding with outsiders is the only or best way to stem that decline, but 'tis fraught with controversy among the elders who geat that the cost of such actions would be to lose the very nature of what it is to be Sildanyari. I personally feel more inclined to take the elders' view on the matter but...

My own personal decision to come hither is motivated by a combination of things. Partly, beautiful as my home is, I long to see the wonders of Ea beyond the Perianath. Partly, 'tis due to the calling I received from Niessa and Mahal (or Gilead as He is called among humans). In the Faravanilas tribe, each youngling departeth upon a month-long dreamquest on the night of the first full moon following their 100th birthday. In it, one traveleth alone into the wild going withersoever the Silver Huntress shall guide, and in the process learneth Her will for his adulthood. In mine, I was inspired to range the wide lands of Ea. More recently, tidings of the daemonic infestation, breaking forth upon Ea through the gateway of Alexandria came even into the forests, so I came for to help.

Editor's note: The decline of the sildanyari is a hotly debated topic. What is known is that they began to age and die, and lost much of their power. Scholars attribute this to their loss of ties to the fae realms, while others go so far as to blame the dark gods.

Nilou: Given that we're talking about the sylvanori coming out--and your own reasons for coming here--there is a question I'm sure many have wondered about. What about the magic? Quite recently, as you know, the llyranesi gifted the city--and the world--with new spells, magic, and ideas. They did this shortly after they re-emerged. What do you think prompted it? I don't mind saying, everyone here is stumped.

Ga'Elian: I may not be the best person to ask about the Llyranesi and their gifts of magic. While my tribal elders acknowledge the Llyranesi royals as overlords, quite frankly they bear but little direct influence among the tribes of the Sylvanori. I know that anciently the druids learned some of our ancestral rituals, but the recent sharing of magics by the Llyranesi is as much a mystery to me.

Nilou: Thank you for coming by, Mr. Ga'Elian. It's been a pleasure.

Ga'Elian: Good luck, master Scribbetter.

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! Is it true that you once caused the sky to rain demons?
A: The story has changed over time. The truth of it was that it rained demon pieces.
Q: Great Paladin! What do I do if someone is eating cookies in my bed?
A: If someone eats cookies in your bed, then you lay in wait for the next time and when they start eating cookies in your bed again you burn it.
Q: Great Paladin, how many gobs could a hobgob chuck if a hobgob could chuck gobs?"
A: This is an answer I do not have. But I would pay good money to see. We would also have to define precisely what counted as a chuck. Is it more or less than a lob? How does it compare to a pitch? Or a punt? All of this should be thoroughly researched through demonstration.
Q: Great Paladin! ...are paladins also throwing weapons?
A: ...they are not. :(

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Tariday, Aestry 26, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue VII)

Death of Chef Plot Cooks Up

Reporting by Arnold Benson, Alexandria Tribune

Dillen StoneSpike of the IronHammer clan past away this Eliday. A local craftsman and active member of the community, StoneSpike was perhaps best known for his participation in the anual Chili Cookoff. His son Tillbard told the Tribune "Dad loved the Cookoff. He'd spend all year working on his chili, trying to get it just right to wow the judges."

Dro'bac Irontusk, a long time rival in the cookoff, spoke at a brief memorial outside the StoneSpike home. "Dillen and I argued often, but always with respect and freindship. The world has lost a great man, and a great chef. So I will not be entering this years cookoff, but will instead be working with Tillbard to recreate his father's signature chili, that everyone can enjoy one last bowl in memory of Dillen Stonespike."

Adventurer's Guild Pranked

A DISTURBANCE AT THE ADVENTURER'S GUILD two nights hence has been widely reported throughout the city, and has been the subject of intense speculation. What is apparent is that some kind of fracas took place, with guildsmen caught in the middle.

A spokesman for the Guild stated today that the clean-up operation has been a complete success, and that the business of the Guild has returned to normal. Damping down wild rumour, the spokesman reported that, contrary to popular belief, the events were unrelated to recent demonic activities in the city.

A watchman stated later that the incident is likely to have been a prank involving students at the Bardic College and members of the Society of Progressive Arcanists. Both organisations declined to comment, with the College stating only that it was not responsible for the actions of the student body.

The city watch are appealing for further witnesses to come forward.

A New Kind of Gardening

Lower Alexandria was the site of yet another demonic eruption Tariday evening as an infernal creature caused havoc. Witnesses report the creature's appearance in the Market District, destroying seven stalls before heading south towards the city hospital.

"It was a right monster, it was!" said Louis Cooper, owner of one of the destroyed stalls. "Just came out of nowhere, belching fire, smashing things to pieces with that blade of 'is!" Several witnesses reported a black-glowing blade and leathery wings on the creature, though reports conflict. Exact casualty counts are still unknown, but are estimated at a dozen or more. A guard official speaking off the record suggested that the number would have been far higher had the populace not fled sensibly.

The demon was dispatched shortly after its arrival in the Garden District by several hospital guards and clerics. Although no further information about the demon's origins was available, several witnesses did report seeing two elves fleeing the Garden just before the battle broke out... one of whom was described as a Dark Elf wearing a large feathered hat.

OOC: See Demon in the Garden for details.
The Ballad of Ga'Elian

The staff here at the Tribune has been informed of a new song making the rounds at the Bardic College entitled "The Ballad of Ga'Elian, Ettin-Slayer." We reproduce it here without further editorial comment.

Now a farmer needs assistance,
So approaching from the distance
Three elves and a child of giants near the farm.
Sunblade Sorscha, sword of morn,
Mighty Kailin, giant-born,
Quick Yelrona and Ga'Elian the wild.
Though the day is bright and clear
They see no sign as they draw near
Of any threat that has this farmer's crops defiled,
And yet the crops are disappearing
As the four of them are nearing.
Soon enough they see what means to do them harm.
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses,
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies!
Bunnies, they're giant bunnies!
The buck-toothed beasts soon face defeat,
And, having saved the farmer's wheat,
Our heroes pause to heal and offer thankful prayer,
But they soon have cause to learn
A giant hare's owner, in turn,
May be itself a giant: in this case an ettin.
For this fight they're unprepared,
And perhaps a little scared,
Holding firm but still they're nervously a-sweatin'
When a pair of arrows' flight
Ends the unexpected fight,
And the wild elf earns the title Ettin-Slayer!
Bunnies!
Bunnies!
Bunnies, they're giant bunnies!
Or maybe ettins?

For more info, see http://tenebraemush.net/index.php/PRP:_Hare_We_Go

Great Paladin Advice Column

Q: GREAT PALADIN! If a parent yells at a child, is it good to leave spiders in the parent's pillows, every night for a week?

A: Spiders are unacceptable. They serve a great purpose in controlling the bug population. To sacrifice them to head squishing on the pillows of parents would lead to an uncontrolled population boom for other gross and disgusting creatures. I suggest, instead, lining the inside of their pillow cases with honey.

Q: But what about snakes?

A: Snakes would be acceptable. The parents would surely see their ire was misplaced when they realize how industrious their child had to be in order to round up that many snakes.

Q: If an Otyugh requests sanctuary am I required to give it?

A: Of course, you are required to give it sanctuary. Hobgoblins, and by extension goblins and gnomes on account of them barely qualifying as sentient, are the perfect people to give sanctuary to such creatures as Otyughs. This leaves humans free to do more important and less disgusting tasks.

Q: Great Paladin! Is the consumption of demons moral?

A: This is of great debate. On the one hand, when demons know that what they hunt and prey upon has taken to using them as a form of sustenance, it begets a kernel of fear. A kernel which can only grow when they open their eyes to how adept some mortals have become at hunting demonkind.

On the other hand, eating demons is kind of like eating heaven's poop.

So, is the consumption of demons moral? My answer is this. Morality does not come into it. It all depends on how aggressively you brush your teeth.

And if you enjoy ritual cleansing or not.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

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Opinions and Personal

An Appeal to Artificers

by Stirling

It it with heavy heart that I must share the news that Old Clunk's junkyard has been savaged by a hoard of vile demons. It may even be true that he is not the only one affected by the infection of evil underneath our city. However this is not just an ordinary target, this is a pillar of the artificing community!! A master of mechanical, a collector of crafts, a teacher of the technical! What artificer, what tinkerer, what crafter in this city did not get their start with the help of Old Clunks? When we were missing that key mana capacitor, when we needed that extra mithril hyper conductor, when we needed to find those polarized surge crystals at 3 am, who was there? Old Clunk was there! Either collecting the scraps and leftover pieces of our projects to help out the budding artificer, to help complete the midnight project or to find the key component we needed in our darkest hour. We cannot let this stand!

To all the crafters, artificers, tinkerers and mechanicly minded, let us restore Old Clunk to his former glory! Come lend a hand and volunteer with orginization and cleanup! Drag that old piece of scrap in your backyard in and donate it to the cause! That project that's still in pieces your going to get to someday? You know thats not today, bring it in! Come down and share your hands, your minds and your extra artfice to restore a pillar of the community to greatness.

In support of Old Clunk's Titan Arms and Armor (Stirling) will be offering at-cost arms and armor crafting to anyone who has volunteered at the junk yard for the next month!

Anniversary Announcement

A belated congratulations to Ladies Sandiel and Myrana, who recently celebrated their first year, together. The two were originally married on Korday, Hattanan 7, 1017! Congratulations to you both!

Heroism: An Unrecognized Opportunity for Fall Debutantes!

by Abrahil Fozzletorque Brindlegear

Oh, as I sit here quill in had, nothing could have me more excited! How bright the future looks, with our brawny, handsomemost heroes slaying demons in the street! Why, just the other day I beheld Jareth, sweat glistening mightily as he slew devil-giant after devil-giant! Such adventure! Such heroism in Alexandria!

Such bravery!

For the prospective youth, nothing could be better. No time is more exciting! Why, with such bravery in front of us, how can we fail to find potential worthies for the upcoming fall dances, and otherwise celebrations? Such wonderment and promise for a fulfilling fall, a gorgeous and upcoming glory to the social scene in Alexandria!

It is with this in mind I wish to wish everyone here an upcoming, glorious and enjoyable fall season! As the demons tromp through and as Arendt continues his most disgraceful huff-and-puff, do not forget to stop by the Arcanists' to check out upcoming styles--oh, the wonder with cantrips these days! Or, the many noted shops in Alexandria! As well, keep an eye open for festivities--it promises to be an active, beautiful season! We must prepare!

Now, if you will excuse me--oh! It's time for tea, and to take a bit out to watch the heroisms in the streets. They're quite good, you know! Such inspiration!

Fashion and Culture

The Summer Butterfly

Fashion is a fickle creature, and this summer is no exception. From ruffles to ruffly bustles, the "Summer Butterfly" style has taken off in force. Members of the Arcanists have produced colors and animations "of the sort to accompany the most sophisticated pedestrian, with a gentle fanning motion to maintain a refreshing breeze" this fashion appears both stylish and for a rare once, practical.

The inspiration for the style is claimed by at least three local designers, though rumor has it that it originated due to an acolyte's miscast on Lady Sandiel's "most remarkable bustle." The truth as always, remains elusive. Perhaps this time, as elusive as a gentle butterfly's wings.

A Touch More Blood

By reports, the sith-makar and the local Ygdrassil Union get along well, and the sith-makar presence in the City has been "spotty, outside of festivals and the Lower Trades," according to Siaria, who works in Alexandria's Chamber of Commerce. Lately however, a few of these reptiles have been seen about the Theatre District.

Reports Vilian Flaria, of the Flightwright, "We believe it's a natural fit for them. Their culture has a large oral, and performance element to it. Theatre is just a natural part of that."

Siaria added: "Our Treaty is under two years old. Between nations, that is hardly any time at all. Really, we're just coming to know one another. It's easy to say they look different than us--okay, obviously, but there are other differences as well. I believe art is a universal language, though. Theatre may be an area where we can really connect."

Have any sith-makar attended shows so far? Flaria responded that they had. "They seem to particularly like ones where Charn is the villan. In fact, one of their ...shamans? I think it was, came back later and asked if we couldn't add a touch more blood."


A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Expect more upcoming in the coming weeks!

Interviews, I -- Adalhard Zaldwolf

Here, I interview Adalhard Zaldwolf, formerly of Blar. He arrived in Alexandria with his family, and despite some difficulties, quickly set about creating a life here. Adalhard, what would you say to our readers about your travel here, and what you expected to find?

Adalhard: We could think of nothing but Alexandria was a land of bravery. Blar had been freed by heroes and that was our impression of them. When we got here, this was not the case. At least, not all of the way.
Nilou: No? What was different?
Adalhard: It was very different. Heroes are extraordinary people and I think they must see many kinds of people in their life. When we arrived--we did not look like the oruch, who they were used to. There are also all these rumors--the great arvek nar nations, very strong military. And I those are true. But we came here, and we were very poor and desperate. And perhaps we did not fit those expectations. Perhaps we looked very different.
Nilou: There was some unrest in the Trades at the time.
Adalhard: Yes, there was. And among the guilds. I think they worried that we would take their jobs. But arvek--what we want to do, is build. We want to make things better. With our embrace of Serriel, we march towards the dawn.
Nilou: So that is a--what do you mean when you say 'March towards the dawn'?
Adalhard: It means we move to greater and better things. Arvek will make Alexandria strong. Stronger, I mean. Already you see it in our stables.
Nilou: Thank you.
Adalhard: Has been a pleasure.

Editor's note: The Malifre Stables may be seen outside of the Northern Gates. The Malifre is known for its cleanliness and the orderliness of its grooms. It houses hundreds of steeds of varying types for the City of Alexandria.

Interviews, II -- Old Clunk

Here, I interview Old Clunk, a minor icon here in Alexandria. He runs Old Clunk's Junkyard, which was recently subject to demonic troubles!

Nilou: Clunk, I know the first question our readers will have is--what happened?
Old Clunk: <click> What happens in Alexandria, every time I turn my damned back! ...
Nilou: Demons possessing your property, you mean?
Old Clunk: ...well. Not that, exactly. But you know what I mean. I keep some ...useful things in the 'yard, so I will be taking steps to ensure this doesn't happen a third time.
Nilou: So what...tell me about the Junkyard. In your own words, please.
Old Clunk: Well, it's a junkyard. If you know what you're looking for--well, collectors come there, too. War golems also, like myself. When you're made of bits and parts from some high-up artificer, there ain't always a spare. So, I provide that service.
Nilou: I had never thought of that. I suppose we uhm, non-golems just see war golems walking around and never think about needing parts. Ours--you can't replace them.
Old Clunk: Yeah, that's always been a deficiency. Come by though, and there's a guy will hook you up. <click>
Nilou: Hook me up? Oh! You mean like with an artificial limb or something. What do war golems think of that? Someone like me walking about with--an arm or hand made out of artifice?
Old Clunk: We think you finally saw sense.

I assumed he was being sarcastic, but it's hard to tell with that metal face. Nonetheless, I thanked him for the interview. He invited me, and our readers, "down for a Hot '40 sometime." I'm told that's sort of like WD-40, just heated, and that only "poncy golems" take sugar and cream.

Editor's Note: Old Clunk's Junkyard is located out in Goblintown, and is frequented by crafters, artificers, war golems, and gobbers.

Upcoming Events

Warriors of Angoron prepare for a demonstration of strength and athleticism, later this week. The Temple holds such competitions at least monthly. Replies Aka, priestess: "We invite anyone an' everyone ta come down an' test their strength! Especially tha laddies."

At her words, a few of the Warriors nodded. One named Makoro spoke up: "We'll be having a log-tossing contest, a dead lift, an' a Rescue."

Rescue? this reporter asked. Thankfully, Warrior Aka was able to shed some light on the matter: "Well, ya take yer favorite prince or princess--I like tha little laddies an' lads, m'self, they're so adorable when th' blush--and we put them on top of this great, tall wall. Ya climb up ther an' fight off their kidnapper. At tha moment, we got folks dressed up like th' Iron Tide."

When asked if the prince and princess trope was a little tired in this modern era, a third warrior shrugged before adding, "Eh, it's tired--I mean, Alexandria don't really have much nobility anymore, even--but at's what makes it great. It's like them Lunch an' Munch plays. Ya know Lunch, ya know Munch, an' what roles they play. So ya get a 'laddie' an some hero ta rescue them. Eh. Crowd loves it."

The event will take place at the end of this month at the Temple of Angoron.

Corrections

Munch the TerrorMaw would like to set the record straight regarding the recent article with the Warrior of Angoron.

Though respectful of the Angorites, Munch himself is a Korrite, and will not be aiding in an offical capacity in the demonstrations. He does however intend to attend as a general participant. Despite rumors, he does not know anyone named Lunch, let alone a princess. Or a prince, for that matter.

Kesenday, Hattanani 27, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue VI)

Midnight Run Report at the Bardic College

Lyrics from "We are the Champions" blazed at 12:00 midnight exactly last Tariday, as seniors tore through the bardic campus. While technically illegal, the "Midnight Run" is a well-established tradition, dating back to the founding of the college. Morning showed the campus painted in fresh murals, with Ceinara's colors prominent.

"Although it's tradition, we encourage every senior to be safe," responded one member of the Watch, when asked about the event. The reactions of various politicians in the area is reported as "mixed."

The college has no immediate plan to paint over the murals. "They may get painted over next year, who knows? Until then, we have examples of this year's finest work," immortalized on two and three story buildings. While true, some nearby residents have objected to the giant, near cartoon-like characterizations of the heads of the Flamewright and Hope local theatres, while others have suggested that it's free advertising.

OOC: The bardic college is a visitable place ongrid! Hop on over to the Theatre District, and look for the paint splashes, upturned chairs, and that one gobber singing that one tune that time that you heard at that place on that one day.

New Treat at the Ox-Strength

Following last week's attack on the Malifre Stables, the Ox-Strength has boasted new, unprecedented quantities of its famous (or infamous) "owlbear stew with pepper." The stew boasts thick, oily segments of owlbear meat, served in a peppery sauce with what may or may not be vegetables.

Ralickwort Takes a Bath

Ralickwort the Weird would like to make it known that, despite rumours to the contrary, the impromptu bath at the hands of fellow gnomic tinkerers and their incredible bubble machine was not solicited in any way. It should also be noted that the subsequent reduction in height, presumably due to a loss of grime, is not in any way impairing his ability to scribe scrolls, brew potions or craft wondrous grubby items.

The incident involved mountains of white soap foam engulfing the unwary, including the hapless Ralickwort, in the festival grounds. It is apparent that some kind of machine failure was responsible; most are blaming a family of gnomes (not related to Ralickwort). Ralickwort himself had this to say: "'Twere raet 'orrid. Ah can 'bsolutely say Ah've nevuh 'sperienced nuffin' like it in all me seven'y years."

Customers to the labworks should note that /that/ smells as rank as ever.

Ask Great Paladin!

A. Serene says, "When did Boshter become a paladin? I am of two minds regarding this. In one respect, it is heartening to see the heathen subhumans gaining some level of decency. On the other hand, I fear the tarnishing it may bring to the exalted status of paladin."

Q. Great Paladin! During times of famine and scarcity, Boshter stole all of the soap. What sort of a sin is this?

A. Cleanliness is next to godliness. So if Boshter is being truthful about his conversion to paladinism, then this sin is only minor and can be overlooked in favour of the greater good. However, if he is lying about his conversion, then he is committing a much greater sin than soap stealing. Impersonation of such an exalted status is punishable by reincarnation. Which is probably to his benefit anyways.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Paladin In Jail?

It all started with the cell doors being closed on me leaving me in a cell with the triplets and the talking carrot. This isn't what is supposed to become of a holy champion of the people, being locked away like a common criminal.

Well, really, that's where the moment began, but there was events leading up to it. There was me, up on the statue in my breeches, singing. Reports vary, some even say it was the national anthem. So, who knows. But the whole thing started with me trying oruch ceremonies. A lot of alcohol and violence. It was the alcohol that did me in in the end.

Of course, I was just trying to expand my horizons, understand religion and culture from different views, learn ways beyond our own. I didn't expect it to go as it did, but I had to face the consequences of it, and the ringing in my head.

So, I tried to focus past the words of the talking carrot that sounded a lot like an Averk Nar about speaking with his fists, my instructors had taught me that there is more than the violence routine to life. So, maybe this was a test, something I needed to understand about myself and about my adherence to the laws and the will of the Gods?

I spent the evening in quiet meditation partly because it made my head feel better but also to try and understand that there is always a story behind the scenario, there is always a reason leading up to the situation. I believe this was an act of the Goddess to help me understand that, so that not every bad action is done by bad people for bad intent. I should try to see the root cause and fix that, not follow the common town guard reaction and lock people away for violating the laws. After all, it doesn't fix the underlying problem, it just sweeps it under the rug for a while.

So, moral of the story, do not judge people based on the events you see unless you truly understand the events that brought them to be. Everybody's got a story, all you need to do is listen and we could make the world a better place. I mean, just look at my story as an example.

Constable's Report

Over the past couple of weeks, the Alexandrian City Guard has seen an increase in the incidence of crimes committed within their jurisdiction. Commenting on the recent renovation of the jail, located at the westen gates of the city, one guard was heard to remark, "If you build it, they will come."

A spokesman for the Adventurer's Guild told the Tribune that they have even noticed that some of their members have had recent run-ins with the law. Just to name a couple of examples, the half-Sildanyari sorceress Telecorn was held over night for shooting off magical flames in public, and the savage Sylvanori called Ga'Elian was arrested on Tariday for assaulting a constable, who later eyewitness accounts say had been brutally beating his own horse. When the Tribune asked the constabulary for details on this alleged horse abuse, the only comment they made was to confirm that Ga'Elian was in custody.

Relics of Local Vardman Saint Unearthed

In Alexandria, heroes shine more brightly than anywhere in the world. Even in the dark. One such light shone in the graveyards years ago, and the Vardaman Temple is pleased to announce further development of Saint Rarvin's local legend. For those unaware, Saint Rarvin began life as a simple gravedigger. While he worked one night, undead came up from the earth.

An Alexandrian to his core, Rarvin grabbed his shovel and stood his ground. The details of what happened that night have been lost, but locals have not given up unearthing the legend. Mourner Kerbasi d'Bahjat reports discovering his shovel and "now a pair of rough, workman's gloves." The gloves, he tells us, are about what you would expect from a man like Rarvin. No further information has come forth, although we are assured the gloves, and the shovel, are being cared for at this time.

Faithful may request to see the items by arranging with local priests of the temple.

Omen in the Sky

In the wee hours of the morning of Variday, Hattanani 16, still long before sunrise, observers at the Shining Chalice Observatory made a discovery that caused them great commotion. They report that a comet was seen on trajectory to cross the star-sign of the Great Wolf, specifically in a region that some have referred to as the chains. Debate among scholars and others as to the meaning of this sign has swelled with many theories competing for acceptance. Official representatives of the Shining Chalice merely comment that the reported observtion is correct, but that the significance of the discovery is still being analyzed.

Gnomen Noodles Noodle Their Way Up!

Although the food originated with khazad tradesfolk hundreds of years ago, it took the gnomes to make it popular. Today, Soup-in-a-Cup comes in many different varieties and some say almost magical flavors. The basic directions however are the same: add water.

"It's marvelous!" according to one spokesgnome, when asked about the product. Cladget Butterfoods is one manufacturer of Soup-in-a-Cup, or gnomen noodles as they are called on the street. Fizkindle Butterwords represents them. "Marvellous," he says. "It's so useful to the everyday tradesperson. Marvellous in its simplicity! That's why we're wanting to up the challenge to the next level!"

His competitor Bonbargo Sparkgrinder over at Fizzy Muffintorque agreed, "Between Butterfoods and Muffintorque, we offer over thirty varieties of Soup-in-a-Coup!"

"That's cup," his competitor reminded him. "Cup, you know. And, nothing like friendly gnomish competition!"

"Oh, right," replied Bonbargo, with a gleam in his eye.

Both Butterfoods and Muffintorque are expected to launch new flavors this summer. The rest of the interview was unable to be completed.

Alexandrosian Town, Kiseldet Demolished: No Survivors

On a day fit for conflict, this last Korday Alexandros saw the devastation of one its towns and the spilling of a centuries-old war onto its grounds. With its population of 73 dead and buildings destroyed, Kiseldet remains a memory in the hearts and minds of those who knew it.

The devestation was caused by a Ko-Jodakh shaman and her accomplice, who sources believe to have been an arcane-blooded of some type. The shaman had reportedly sought to destroy a second township, when Irregulars of the local Guilds intervened. Due to the speed which these heroes responded, countless more lives were saved.

While details are still being investigated, officials are in conversation with local Sith-Makar to determine what may be learned of the shaman's motivations. While no official findings have been recorded, the latter delegation has suggested that the Ko-Jodakh have a history of violence. It is known that the races have been at war for a long time.

When asked why a Ko-Jodakh would issue an attack of this nature, Speaker-caste Noytlallel stated that: "They have alwayss been violent, in my knowing of them. I am not ssurprised if thiss was about attempting to claim territory from Alessandria."

Another suggested, "I sstress we do not know. No one will know until the boness of the dead are made to sspeak."

The action has cast a shadow over Ko-Jodakh visitors to Alexandria. A Ko-Jodakh representative, Rithrize, suggests it was an isolated event, and that his people are being unfairly stereotyped and the claims "like oil from a rock."

The names of all 73 known victims of Kiseldet are published, below.

Ginger Cantrell
Mildred Deirdre Vinson
Ofelia Cheri Grimes
Hyllis Grimes
Geirfufran Grant
Robyn Bryant
Ronda Julia Bryant
Tabatha Cobb Arargha
Tamera Ana Carney
Tammy Jayne Mullen
Valeria Kellie Nolan
Violet Reid
Anda Romdara
Mim Romdara
Rhah Romdara
Yesenia Head
Jo Harper
Mim Romdara
Rorri Arargha
...(list continues)

OOC: I am taking some legwork on this story, for those interested in learning a little more. For details of the scene, contact: Alba, Terewin, Lenore, Kogger, Virton, and Zyla!

Ceriday, Bernlfleur 23, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue V)

Tenant Farmers Protest Rising Rent!

A FARMER'S PROTEST filed past the mansion of the Dechanti family in the Noble District yesterday. The farmers, from the frontier town of Antissa, were protesting against further increases to their tenancy charges, at a time when taxes on the sale of livestock are rising and when expectations on the countryside militia are greater than ever.

A solid, dependable backbone to the nation since its birth, the tenant farmers remain fiercely independent of their landlord neighbours in Alexandria. One spokesman described the relationship as "stretched", whilst another said: "The nobles, and their seneschals and lackies in particular, have little or no understanding of agricultural life. I've been asked to go through accounts at length when there's fields of hay to make, or pay rent in midwinter when we've barely enough to feed ourselves." Antissa's official spokeskhazad had this to say: "We are called upon not only to provide food, supplement the income of nobility and line the pockets of taxmen, but also to sacrifice our young men and women to the militia. A rise in our costs at this time of crisis is unacceptable."

The farming community came through the noble district in full colour and regalia, carrying shrines and icons to Angoron, their faith focussed on strength and stamina. Herds of donkeys, sheep and pigs left detritus and mess in the otherwise immaculate streets, and piles of turnips and potatoes were left by the trade entrances to many mansions in a demonstration to the noble houses. "This is what we eat," said one young sila. "Whilst they engorge themselves on the fruits of our labours."

The sil went on to describe her life in some detail. "I have lost many children, and my sister died in childbirth. We cannot afford to pay the stipend for a healer, so often even routine illness can be deadly. Meanwhile you expect food prices to remain low. You must see the impact this has on our communities. That's why we're here today." Her story is sadly typical amongst those heard at the protests, which aside from the blaring of hunting horns and the braying of animals, was entirely peaceful.

Despite the commotion and fuss, the rent and taxes were paid by community leaders quietly to a city official before the group left town last night.


Review: Ox-Strength Gorgon Chili

Raniq Fairhair reports: My old friend Hingvarr and I had been competing for the favor of the same lady, who shall not be named in this article, but neither would prevail, so we chose to decide the question by a gentleman's wager. If I could eat a whole bowl of the gorgon chili at the Ox-Strength Tavern in Alexandria's Warehouse district, then Hingvarr agreed he would not only abandon his overtures toward the lady, but would additionally polish my horse's saddle without magic. Perhaps 'twas not my wisest choice, but I accepted the challenge.

Accordingly, I entered the afore-said establishment. Immediately, my senses were assaulted by the nauseating aromas filling the tavern. My face must have showed it, too, for almost at once, the attendant, one Mel by name, very cordially suggested that I was in the wrong place, and might be more at my ease at the more upscale Fernwood Pub in the Lower Market district, as it regularly caters to the gentry. I replied, telling him of the challenge that I faced. This Mel, very kindly offered to prepare me a much milder chili to eat, and to send a package of the real article with me to prove to Hingvarr what I had endured. But to reneg on my word would besmirch mine honor, so I refused.

After a few moments, Mel returned from the kitchen with the horrifying stench and the concoction from which it issued, and set it before me together with a burnt roll. I paid my coin, and scooped up the largest bite that the spoon would hold and swallowed it down as quickly as possible, while holding my nose. It went down heavy, and left a coating of the nastiest slime in my mouth, but my excellent health bore me through. As I was repeating this process with the second bite, Mel remarked that he believed it possible that the chili did not, in fact have gorgon flesh, but rather that of rats. Not dissuaded, I managed to finish the bowl, never touching the charred roll, and chased it with a tankard of astringent beer before leaving.

I applaud the service of Mel, but after having the runs and stomach pain for the next four days, I caution the citizens of Alexandria that discretion is the better part of valor.


Recipe Book: Thithine

The environment of a culture usually will say a lot about its people and Alexandria is no exception. It's culture is that of hearty people, coming from all over to come together in the mixing pot that is the city. This mixing leads to a lot of different experiences being combined in new and unique ways, sometimes ending up with unexpected results.

One such example of this is Thithine, a spicy food from Veyshan that was designed to provide the energy that would be needed in an easy to transport and eat style. Modern versions are usually spiced to taste, but the original is to be spicy, bringing out the flavors.

It begins with a brine for soaking cabbage leaves in. This brine is made with water, salt, vinegar and other spices, adding in whatever spice you may have...


Sinfull Succulence!

Some Blar culture: For those familiar with Arvek Nar history are aware that for a long period a vast number of the race were servants to Thulite vampires, serving primarily as a military but also as kitchen servants. While the founding of Blar is a new chapter for the Arvek of that city they have carried on some of the old traditions in new ways. The old Thulite masters always had a taste for the most delectable and succulent desserts, which has carried over in the tastes and traditions of the Blar bakers.

One shop in Alexandria, called Sinfull Succulence, bakes and sells the old Blar recipes that have carried on. Some of their most popular items are the Blood Cupcakes, red velvet cupcakes with chocolate frosting. Other popular items include their red cherry chocolates whose inside ooze sweet red cherry syrup as well as lava cake rumored to be so rich that nobody can finish one in a single sitting. Eat at your own risk.


Lost and Found

Found

1 Grail: Appears to be family heirloom. Will return to owner if they can describe it.

Lost

1 Ring, Gold. Engraved with Elven Runes. If Found, please contact S. Oran.

Lost Animal

1 Falcon, Black: Reward Offered. Contact Mr. Cairo.

For Sale

Pelts: 1 Moose and 1 Squirrel
See Boris at Fernwood Pub.

Free

Green cat with Yellow Stripes: Free to good home. Speak with Adam Prince.
One Prosthetic Eye: Previous Owner: Awdeen. Great discount. Lokee.


Harrowscopes

Today's Harrow Card is The Tangled Briar. It indicates an object or person from long ago will have great importance on the next events as they unfold in your life. The object or person in question is one lost or murdered in some foul way.Be on the lookout for the signs, and be forwarned.


Green Eggs and Ham

Some foods come from just one group of people, while others are more from all around the world. This is a delicacy that has quite a story, coming originally from the sailors of the Jade Islands who needed food that could travel with them. Pickling was the common source, the way they stored most of the food for travel, because they could not guarantee time to stop and catch the Red Sunfish or the Blue Snapperfish. This specific meal of picked eggs and cured ham may not sound like much, but it s unique because of its naming, so much so that it became well known among the children when famous bard wrote out a story of the Jade Islander 'Sameyaam' trying to expand the meal out of the sailing ships it was made famous on, ending up with the character liking it after refusing it becausei t seemed so weird.

The eggs were pickled in brine to make them easy to transport, but contrary to popular theory, that was not where the green name came from. When the merchants would trade with the mainland they were called Green Eggs to signify they came from the Jade islands and to differentiate them from the regular white or brown eggs the farmers were used to be seeing. The meat was originally a salt cured ham, cut into strips and kept as lean as possible to get it to last as long as possible during the travels. This was a meal that could sustain the sailors for a long time while travelling and only take up a small amount of the hold on the ships, allowing for cargo to be packed to a premium.


Midnight Run Preparations?

The Alexandrian Bardic College prepares for graduation and its annual "Midnight Run" where seniors blaze through campus at midnight, repainting it in bright colors and adding stunning murals and artsworks meant as a display of hard-won talent. Traditionally, the graduates are chased by faculty and participating members of the Watch, and the results are never fully realized until sunrise.

An up and coming artist, Corleon "Snarbull" Methian, is suggested as a favorite this year, though Snarbull's lead is far from certain. In years previous, class favorites have been upended in this chaotic showdown. What is new this year is the participation of the music school. While this branch of the college has participated in years past, they have been absent since "the tuba incident" 7 years ago.

"We may be there, we may not. I mean, it's technically illegal, right?" replied one puckish sildanyari when asked about the music department's about participation. When asked if it was tradition, she replied, "Well, yeah" before asking what I thought of "We are the Champions."

Catchy tune.


Artifice in the Rough

"...It as good as anything come out of junkyard. Sometimes it diamonds, sometimes it--eeh," No truer words were spoken. Clunk, one of the oldest golems in Alexandria, recently came under fire when one of his parts failed on a repair. Clunk's Junkyard however, operates on a "you find, you use," policy. To the in-the-know, it comprises a haven of leftover artifice parts, half-working clockwork thing-a-ma-whats, and other esotery of a mechanical-magical nature. It's also become a social spot for local war golems, and some gobbers.

Even the disaffected golem, Gearswrought, says it will be back. "I'll just be more careful what I pick out next time. You have to be more discerning with quaslit rithwrench sets." Whatever that is.

((OOC: Old Clunk's Junkyard may be found at A02. It is a new spot ongrid, one we hope will be a welcome place especially to war golems, gobbers, and artificers alike.))


Editorials: A Salute to Concrete

While my people are known for our discipline, one of our trades is often overlooked: the structuring of simple, yet durable concrete. Whoever first developed this wondrous material is up for debate. Alexandria's Exploratory Associates' own research dates its inception further than a thousand years past, to where it was made from rice as part of its mixture, to the latest designs employing volcanic and rock sand that we from Blar (and now, Alexandria) make use of, today.

To the original inventor, society owes a great deal. Some form of this material is used in bridges and docks, storm drains and aqueducts. Most famously, it is encountered by adventuring groups within the sewage system, and along Alexandria's notable walls. These walls have been called a wonder of the world, and would not be possible without the discipline of concrete.

Concrete's mixture is varied, though its formation is not. No matter its composition, concrete must be poured into a mould of some type. Historically, these have been made of brick. Today, both brick and magic may be used. Within certain structures, artifice may even be embedded in these formations, to produce light in evenings, or for a protective or defensive effect. Sometimes, offensive. Concrete structuring and setting is one area where artifice and wizardry come together in a beautiful, if contentious, whole.

Something so simple and versatile is not often remarked upon by the everyday passerby in the streets. Yet, its utility is endless and its strength endurant. In its way, it is not unlike the arvek.

Hup-hah!

Arnfred Kaulitz, Structurial Engineer


MALFIRE STABLES ATTACKED!

The Malifre Stables, a renowned Arvek-Run stable by Master Horseman Addicus Malifore, had his steeds spooked and break loose by the cunning might of a trio of Owlbears. Cunning is not normally a trait associated with the ferocious, monstrous predators and it is rumored that at least one of them bore signs of demonic blood in its veins, a newly worrying development considering ALexandria's recent trouble with demons in general.

Addicus Malifore, a veteran of the Sendor war who settled in Alexandria instead of returning to Blar after his service to Blar, Alexandria and Myrrdion, has run the stables ever since and was grateful when Explorers from the Guild were dispatched who handily dealt with the monsters with speed and steel! "It was good to see the guild give such a strong response," he said.


Final Update on the Veyshanti Delegation, and Interview

It is with pleasure we continue to report on Ambassador Abba and his delegation. Although the trio have denied involvement with last week's upset at the Warehouse District, others suggest it was only due to the excitement of the new goods brought by Abba's associates.. By accounts, the trio have settled into Alexandria quite well. For the moment, Abba has retreated from the spotlight in order to, he tells us, focus on the upcoming summer festivals in Alexandria. "I have always wanted to attend the Tournament Paramount at least once, in Alexandria's famous Colosseum, and this may be the year to do so," he remarked.

Merchant Tangisir also, was gracious enough to take some time for the interview promised some weeks past. His companion Jaidat was more reclusive, but it is as he said, "Well, we bronzes are just more talkative, you could say." Indeed.

Tribune: How have you found your visit to Alexandria?

Tansisir: Quite nice. It's a little on the cool side, but then I have spent the last few years in the desert. In truth, this is the most conversation I have had in some time.

Tribune: You seem quite sociable.

Tansisir: Thank you, I try to be. It's been some time, as I said. Until a few years ago, I had been a student of the Burning Sands. I still am, of course, just decided to see some of the world.

Tribune: The Burning Sands?

Tansisir: A monastic group. The Burning Sands believe in the purification of the body and mind through the desert's heat. So, yes, sweat lodges are a thing. You could say it is a blend of Navosian and Daeusite beliefs. A little more difficult now, though.

Tribune: With the transference of Honored Navos, I could see that. Something you said intrigued me, though. Sweat lodges. ...in the desert? That must get...

Tansisir: Yes, it does. It does wonders for the mind, though.

Tribune: So you're a student of the Burning Sands, or had been. How did you come to be a merchant?

Tansisir: Family ties. A small number of my kin work here in Alexandria, and of course, caravans in Veyshan. It seemed a time to tie the two together. Get to see the world a little, and expand what my brothers and sisters have said is a natural talent. ...tea.

Tribune: I understand there's been quite some interest in the tea. Do you think you'll expand your trade into other goods, as well?

Tansisir: At the moment, I am primarily interested in my leaves. They match my own interests, you could say. Perhaps we'll see some ruyth i mohdar though, you never know.

Tribune: Thank you for time.

Tansisir: It's been a pleasure.

The three may be seen around the various shops and merchant districts in Alexandria.

Variday, Bernfleur 11, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue IV)

BATGOBBER FOUND!

Explorers recently uncovered a bat-like gobber in the hills of the Heartlands. Claiming to be the result of "just one of those experiments, dahling" the batgobber appeared articulate and at least partially coherent upon finding. She complained of a continual ringing in her ears (which seemed enlarged beyond the typical gobber's). The ringing, she said, may be from the explosions.

The batgobber suggests she was exiled to the Heartlands after her kin found her specializing in cook-wares. The area around her suggests there was some form of science! that occurred, though related to cook-ware, this reporter is uncertain. A passing-by oruch suggested cooked-brains, whereupon the batgobber leapt on him and landed in his hair.

The oruch was unavailable for comment.

ASK GREAT PALADIN!

Q: Great paladin! I heard that kobolds of Genrivia were going to lead an assault on Charn! What is the lawful action here?! Should we be concerned or buy popcorn?! A: Nobody assaults Charn but me. Prepare my horse.

Q: Great Paladin, I heard that Sandy is selling clothes that are not THE most fashionable thing ever. What do I do?! A: Normally I would not wish this fate on anyone, but in light of Sandy's recent transgressions I endorse sending Abrahil to teach Sandy about fashion.

Q: Great Paladin, what if someone has something that I want, but it doesn't technically belong to me? Can I have it if I want it more than they do?? A: That depends. In most cases, no, you cannot have it. Stealing is illegal. Also, wrong. But if it belongs to a goblin (and by extension hobgoblin) or a gnome, since they are not technically people and thus do not technically own anything, then it would be okay.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

BOUNTY ANNOUNCED

The Vardamen temple again put forward its bounty on wights within the city. While not wishing to raise any particular alarm, one of their Mourners is quoted as saying, "You can never be too careful, and with Heth out there, it doesn't hurt, you know?"

Wights are, apparently, a virulent form of undead that creates more wights by murdering others for life force that they use as sustenance. While it is not believed any Wights are present in Alexandros territory at the moment, a dose of caution is understandable.

WAREHOUSE DISTRICT UPSET

An upset occurred this Variday morning in the Warehouse District. Sources report that employees of Traders Montaigne and Chapelle were involved in the matter, during which several crates were overturned and damage was done to the side of one warehouse. The local Watch was called in to calm the scene and dispersed the chaos. As of print time today, no official cause has yet been determined.

Montaigne and Chapelle are both established trading families in Alexandria, dealing in teas, spices, and other fine, dry goods.

((Want your stories in the Tribune? Visit the Tribune offices in the Lower Trades District to learn more!))

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE: CLASSIFIEDS (Issue IV)

Quality weapons and armor, divinely imbued. Contact Mourner Kerbasi d'Bahjat at the Vardaman Temple. Divine scrolls also offered.

Mithralla Merchandise has been serving the Alexandria area with quality magical items for years. Located upon the Mountain Road, under the giant sword, our crafters use local materials to provide a wide range of quality magical items at competitive prices. From arms and armor, to scrolls and potions, to enchanted rings and a wide assortment of wonderous items, Mithralla Merchandise is sure to have something for you.

Buy potions for health, power, and thickness of skin. Buy scrolls to lay low your enemies. All ingredients fresh -- some even still wiggle. Contact Alba.

To the idiot who keeps tossing their laundry out on Fiscus St. Stoppit. There's only so much a man's meant to see in this world, and knowing wizard socks danced the cha-cha on their own on Varidays isn't one of them.

Need a potion, or an ointment, or just a scroll to feed your familiar? Maybe you want to slight your opponents, or boost your allies. Or, just maybe, you're morbidly curious about just what exactly those potions do. Ralickwort, gnomish witch and brewmaster extraordinaire, remains open for business despite constant public health warnings. Come by Rolickwort's Arcane Labworks (misspelling intentional) for your witchey potion and scroll needs (shrink potion a specialty).

Fantastic and fashionable accoutrements made at quality prices. Contact Abrahil Fizzletorque Brindlegear in the Theatre District! Wondrous items, amazing to behold! Special rates for certain healing items; inquiries and tea welcome.

Pelka is a newish crafter who can enchant weapons, armor, or miscellaneous Wondrous Items that are worn or held. Once the item is ready he will deliver it to you - guaranteed to get there in 30 days or less, or your money back!

Leave word for him at the Society for Progressive Arcanists.

Variday, Eatonis 28, 1018

Upset in the Warehouse District

The Watch was called to the Warehouse District, after a reported altercation of some kind. Details are as yet unknown.

OOC: If you are a Watch PC, please @mail me for details. Expect more public information available in the Tribune later this or next week! You can speed the issue along by sharing your own tales, and earning RPP!

Kirday, Eatonis 24, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue III)

An Update on the Veyshanti Delegation

As reported earlier this week, the Tribune was pleased to sit down with the Veyshanti delegation, led by Ambassador Abba. We met them at their residence in Sage Orem's, a familiar place to the Ambassador, who has roomed there almost exclusively during his years of service.

Their rooms were a mixture of Alexandrian and Veyshanti style, and many of the items that Veyshan is known for were on display. Among them were silks of pleasant quality, blades, and many other fine items those familiar would no doubt recognize. When the meal arrived, it arrived on several trays, which were shared by all. Included was a whole, stuffed chicken alongside several flavorful vegatables, spiced in a way that left the mouth watering.

The crowning achievement however, came after the meal when Merchant Tangisir had a tea service brought forward. He brought with him a sample of tlagi, a rare tea crafted from an even rarer desert flower. "My familiy had an usual crop this season. A little surplus," he said. "We thought perhaps, some in Alexandria would be interested." The tlagi is well-known in tea circles for its unique combination of flavors. It is said it carries all flavors, from the crisp sunrise of the desert morning to its heated sunset. A thousand poems have been made of its petals.

After this bombshell, we spent some time getting to know the ambassador and the merchants present. Tangisir it turns out, is from an aged, if quiet line. "We were content, and never saw the need to get out much," he admitted. Apparently it was Abba's urging that prompted the visit, and he says he intends to visit various friends and family among Alexandria's greater populace. It turns out that the young bronze has a few ties to Alexandria already. Once he gave his family name, the Tribune was able to locate at least three cousins among the populace.

Quiet during the meal was Jaidat. However, when second round of drinks came, they were served over ice--and Jaidat's enigamatic smile.

Ma Rosie's Celebration in Portraiture

Ma Rosie's, ever the <redacted> example of entertainment in Alexandria, is celebrating an anniversary of sorts. Frequent travelers and visitors will take note of its new look: streamers and silken flags cover the doorway. The flags, this reporter is told, are sewn from the pants and leggings of favorite dancers. Patrons have taken to signing them, or leaving notes for a favorite.

Ma Rosie tells me, informally, that this has become a competition among the dancers, to see who can gather the most signatures. This isn't why she brought me here, however. "It's my anniversary, you see," she tells me. Then, I am led to the center of the room. It's quiet at the moment (Ma Rosie's does most of their business in the evenings, and here it was early morning). At the center is a portrait of Ma, in her younger days.

"It was from my darling Jinks," she says. One can see the fondness from here, in the gentle sigh as she looks at her portrait. "He gave it to me this day...the scoundrel." Whether by 'scoundrel' she refers to Jinks fondly or not, it is impossible for this reporter to tell.

Swinging Beats

A young gobber was seen swing-hipping his way down the streets the other day. While this event appears to coincide with a record number of sales in bleach, he was heard singing a tune thus far unheard in Alexandria:

Baby it's hard
when you feel like
You're broken and scarred
Nothing feels right,
but when you're with me
I make you believe that
I've got the key

Despite the otherwise horror this reporter experienced at the performance, he has to admit it was a catchy tune. Onlookers offer assurances that the shout at the end, "ALL PRAISE THE GREAT, SEXY LADY BOOM-BOOM!" was not in fact, part of the original song. Still, it has not precluded some oruch from including it.

Tomias the Terror On the Loose!

Members of the Alexandrian City Guard, namely one Private first class Josselyn has been seen chasing a small child-like halfling that goes by the name of Tomias. While his crimes are fairly minor, they are also numerous and extremely upsetting. These crimes include, but are not limited to:

  • Stealing coins from the Temple Square Fountain
  • Teaching children profanities
  • Hiding under tables in busy taverns and stealing drinks
  • Falsely selling cough drops as candy
  • Surfing on a runaway hotdog cart
  • Extreme jaywalking
  • Throwing hand-files through the windows of the city prison
  • Other general disturbances of the peace.

If you see any suspicious activity please report it to the city guard and do not be fooled. While the perpetrator appears to be a human child, he is in fact a full grown halfling.

Tariday, Eatonis 22, 1018

Traders Arrive!

Heads stirred this evening when a number of diplomats from Veyshan arrived late yesterday evening. They arrived in the classic Veyshanti style, atop lean horses kissed by the desert sun. Ambassador Abbas rode to the fore, in his traditional thobe, topped with a sleeveless mantle for warmth. The arvek's face is familiar to many in Alexandria. His two companions, however, are not.

The Ambassador was pleased to introduce two new faces he said, he hopes will become regulars among Alexandrian trade discussions. The first was introduced as Merchant Tangisir, a bronze dragon of younger years. Merchant Tangisir seemed to delight in questions given to him, and though he was not seen astride the Veyshanti breed, he assured us it wasn ot due to the horses' strength, but more that "Well, I am a bit large, you know."

The third member of the delegation is Jaidat, whose thobe suggested an elemental bloodline. Of all three, Jaidat seemed the most reflective. According to Ambassador Abbas, the delegation is making its home in the Upper City for the time being, near Alexandria's noted library. It has been suggested they are here to address further trade, just in time for spring. Fortunately, they have opened the door to further interviews by the Tribune later on in the week.


Kesenday, Eatonis 18, 1018

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue II)

Charges Pressed in Wake of Demonic Activity

In the wake of recent demonic activity in Alexandros, local merchant Jan'ros Teolwren faces prosecution on charges of collusion with the possessed.

Miss Teolwren, a half-sil merchant specialising in the import of magical items into the city, was arrested by the city watch as part of Operation Duskwall, the remit of which is to investigate possible entry points of illegal magic objects into Alexandria. Her clerk, Miss Inden, has issued no statement, instead answering 'no comment' to all questions about her employer.

A docksman, Mr 'Honourable' Georg, answered several questions from journalists outside Teolwren's office this morning. "She's innocent," claims Georg. "I don't doubt that for a minute. She's kind-hearted, and sweet. I'd trust her with my life." But the hysteria surrounding the demon possessions has reached even the courts, and bail was denied at a hearing yesterday.

Miss Teolwren, an aspiring city councillor despite her common background, faces trial in the city courthouse two weeks from today. Reserve your court seat today to be a part of this landmark trial.

((Have a story for the Tribune? If you have a delicious RP-generated rumor for the forces of JOURNALISM to spread all over town, send it in! Preface the +request title with Tribune: and put in the RPP bucket, and see your story in print! Also get an RPP for it!))

ALEXANDRIAN TRIBUNE (Issue I)

A Theory Half-Baked?

A new study out of the School of Bakery-Wizardry suggests that children who eat red velvet cupcakes versus other flavors, such as banana sprinkles, may have the edge when it comes to athletics. The comprehensive study took place over a few weeks, and was led by local nutritional expert Gorebaw Ngaio, who worked closely with the local Baker's Guild.

When quizzed about the results of the study, Gorebaw shrugged and said, "Everyone knew red ones make ya go faster. It was just a matter of puttin it ta tha test."

Gorebaw's well-known rival, Maa Rei, decried the study, suggesting his research may have been compromised through his ties to the guild, and that in regards to scientific accuracy, it has led him downwards the tart of darkness. To which he replied, "It's time for tha taming of tha strudel, is it?" and drew an axe. She drew a bigger one.

The two are set to duel next Variday.

Lady Sandiel Swings the Night Away at Ma Rosie's

The dancing troupe continued its tradition of performance excellence before an honored guest the other night, Lady Sandiel Arwenieniallwehn! Lady Sandiel's shop, the Lusty Moon, supplied the Veyshanti-style outfits for the evening. The dancers performed several numbers, including "Come and Get Your Love," which was sung to the guest of the evening.

In celebration, drinks were then given on the house, and a speech was asked for. Reports suggest the owner of the Moon declined, whereupon she was given the title of Lady Sandiel the Modest, and another toast held. She was reportedly accompanied by a human friend, known as 'Nobody.' Rumors suggest that 'Nobody' was female, which has only fueled the scandal and speculation which has followed Sandiel's matrimonial bliss with the Lady Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn.

((Have a story for the Tribune? If you have a delicious RP-generated rumor for the forces of JOURNALISM to spread all over town, send it in! Preface the +request title with Tribune: and put in the RPP bucket, and see your story in print! Also get an RPP for it!))


Variday, Pryntar 15, 1018

...matchmaking...

Rumors flit about town that a gnome tried to set up several notable adventurers with a bugbear, a troll, and an otyugh.

Needless to say, this did not work out.

Gnomes. Who needs 'em, right?

(Thanks toUneth, Durankar, Mila, Te'andra, Terewin, Wilros, and Serra for palying along! Feel free to ask them about their experience.)

Eliday, Pryntar 14, 1018

The Mountain Moves

An earth elemental has recently erupted from the ground on the mountain road.

Yes, really. Stranger things have happened. It appears to have gone back to sleep, though it is blocking significant amounts of traffic and peole are leerily making their way around it.

Needless to say, you can't really move the mountain unless it wants to be moved, given that it really is /huge/. The City Council has issued a declaration that people are to avoid it and not throw anything at it.

Because a few gnomes did.

Ceriday, Vhast 30, 1018

Alexandrian Tribune!

New Art Installation

by Featherwheel Grumblespring

Just recovered from supposed bombing, the Adventurers' Guild is back on its feet! What this reporter heard suggests its walls will not be bare for long.

Through sources, the Tribune uncovered news of a new art installation to be hungk. Whatever this installation will be, adventurers have reported spotting a number of gnomes were seen outside. One of them, a roundish, elderly fellow is said to have held a sketchbook in his hand. Passers-by report a sort of dazed look, but were unable to quite describe it, save, "It felt kinda...unsettling, ya know. And don't ya as hell quote me on that," is quoted one unquotable oruch, when quizzed about the situation.


Threads Threadbare

by Grummin Norebasher

Why tha hell I gotta write this. It's just about some dumb merchant bein' out of threads an' crap an' some "run on gold thread dat look sommat like an angel." Look, merchants run out of stuff all tha time. I'd rather hit stuff with sticks. Grummin out!

PS Stupid gnomes write stupid titles. Grummin write dis, he'd name it: Can't hit things with thread. Don't care! Send letter to editors. Tell them gnome dumb, Grummin write all titles!


Implosion at Progressive Arcanists' Dinner

by -- *
* Article redracted, and crossed out with multiple layers of black ink.

Eliday, Vhast 24, 1018

Strangeness at the Concert

A concert scheduled for today to celebrate the city's return to normalcy was marred by Alexandria's usual strangeness.

With members of the new Bardic College on stage and the crowd in the thrall of their performance, a great many people suddenly collapsed, falling into seizures shortly after airships that were part of the celebration laid down a fine dusting of some kind of glitter (really!) to add to the ambience said to be directed by bard Aldean, Abrahil, and Artificer Stirling.

With a great many clerics on hand from the Myrrish kingdoms, the stricken were taken and escorted back to the temples, where they are undergoing treatment and evaluation, though it is believed that it was a reaction to something in the air that befell many.

Meanwhile, several fires were said to've started across the city, though all were quickly dealt with.

Still, though, many believe that there was a darker undercurrent to all of this and whispers about demonic possession are filtering out from those said to be in the know, with sightings of demons in the shadows keeping many citizens on edge.

Ceriday, Vhast 23, 1018

Invitations go Out!

In Alexandria, a smallish fellow has stopped at a woman's doorstep. He's handed her a piece of stock paper, decorated in swooshes and flourishes--and at its centerpiece, a set of dashing performers! "Don't forget! Every invitation is COLLECTIBLE, you know! So if you missed out on one, do come to the concert! I hear there's a prize if you collect them all--but that's just a rumor..." says the little street deliveryman, who looks suspiciously round. His features are delighted, his whisper conspiratorial.

"Oh, how lovely! Why, they look so *brooding*," says the woman. "Oh, if I were seventeen again," she says. "...but I'm not seventeen am I, anymore? What are these little symbols on the side? They look...magical--"

"Oh! Oh my...why, that must be a printing error...oh! Oh, my dear! I hope to see you there! It will be a *MAGICKYL EVENING!*" he says, and dashes off, this little deliveryperson, before bopping off to her neighbor's.

The woman pauses at her doorstep, frowning. "...these eyes just seem to follow you wherever you go," she says, and as she closes the door.

Ceriday, Vhast 23, 1018

Oddness at the Temple of Angoron

Strangeness has occurred at the Angorite Temple. Despite secrecy, people have noticed that armed guards have been posted near a room in the temple, which has been heavily warded. Clearly, they have a guest they don't want disturbed.

Ceriday, Khael 12, 1017

Darkness on the Edge of Alexandria

Regular sightings of 'creatures with dark red eyes watching from the shadows' or 'foul smells' any number of other rumors are becoming common throughout much of Alexandria and its outlying districts. People are claiming to see any number of 'horrible monsters' just on the edge of their vision,... but so far, nothing has actually *come* of it. No attacks, no wounds, no nothing.

It's unsettling, to say the least.

Previous Arcs

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