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Recent Rumors (1018)

Variday, Rhaltaas 03, 1018


Front Page

Tunnels Uncovered Beneath Artificer's Hall

Statements issued from the Artificer's Hall suggest that Callem 25th's occurrence, whereupon the Artifice Hall stood UP, was a fluke. "We believe one of our professors to be a victim of the recent Asumit possession," reported one, Professor Litigashun. "Unfortunately, this led to certain delusions."

These delusions apparently led the possessed, whose name is not mentioned for the protection of his family, to reconstruct a device capable of animating large objects. However, the device burned out "before it had even started," according to the professor. Unfortunately, this exposed a number of labs and workshops beneath the Hall.

"It exposed those, and I am afraid old pathways as well." Was the Hall aware of the connection? The professor claims not, though not everyone agrees. Investigations are still underway.

Official statements from the Hall to be posted later in this edition.

Vandalism Reported!

Two young squires and an Enclave artificier were arrested in connection with squatting and vandalism. They claim to have absolutely no memory of the events that led to them possibly holding an Explorer's Guild contractor captive. Since the purported captive equally has no memory of the events, they are to be released.

Ancient Legends Reborn!

Reporters with ears to the ground are reporting a resurgence of local tales and legends! We've done some investigating to find out just what is going on!

OOC Note: When we remade the grid back in 2011-2012, we invited the community to give it a history. Through now and the next few editions, we'll be sharing what they wrote! The following tales can be heard among the gossip columns in Alexandria.

Ancient Legends Reborn: An Angel in Disguise

Originally investigated by Moonshadow, c. 1012 (from 2012 real-time)

During times of great wars, or great plagues, The Soldier's Defense hospital would inexplicably gain an additional hand or two to help with the wounded or sick.

One of those that arrive to help, is someone clad in blue robes in silver trim, and donning not only a medallion of faith dedicated to Althea, but she bears the tattoo, upon the back of each hand, of the evening star, the symbol of Althea. Those that have encountered her says she speaks with a soft, but powerful voice, and is quite humble in her healing abilities. However, she only identifies herself as 'Aurora' and gives no last name.

However, Those that are part of the Hearthguard ner Sentinels have never heard of this woman. Nor are there any records of this woman in any manuscript or record. For those that have seen her however, say she doesn't engage in conversation, and is a woman of few words.

Ancient Legends Reborn: Origins of the Great Contest

Originally investigated by Jibbom, c. 1012 (from 2012 real-time)

Long, long ago, when Alexandria was little more than a sleepy fishing village and the Gods still took strolls about the material plane, it is said that the city was the site of a truly legendary contest between two of the Celestine.

According to legend, it was here that Angoron and Tarien initially met, long ago, after roaming the world and surveying their domains. Upon their first meeting, the two gods traded boasts and tall tales of their accomplishments and the great deeds their followers had achieved. Needless to say, a friendly rivalry was quick to develop.

All who tell the tale agree that a contest of some sort quickly ensued. Angoron attempted to overshadow Tarien with his great might and valor, while the Coyote relied upon his cunning and trickery to get the better of his new friend. The god's respective clergies will generally claim that their own patron emerged victorious, but most telling the tale say that the contest ended in some sort of draw or tie. Equally murky is the precise nature of the contest, though it is usually described as a comprehensive test of bravery, wit, strength, and skill. There is also some dispute about where precisely the contest took place, with both the worshippers of Angoron and Tarien claiming their temples are built upon the spot in question.

While the specifics of the legend are murky, none can doubt the influence the mythical contest has had upon Alexandrian culture. Every so often, at no particular time, the priests of Tarien and Angoron claim 'divine inspiration' motivates them to host another contest, some manner of competition between the two temples. These contests have been everything from races to tug of war matches to complex sporting tournaments. True to their faiths, the Angoronites have attempted to prevail through strength and power, while the Tarienites attempt to find ways to employ guile and cunning to gain an edge. Whatever the result of any particular contest, both sides tend to have a good time and regard the entire affair as a reaffirmation of the friendship and camaraderie shared by the two deities.

In recent generations, the 'Great Contest' has grown more expansive, including many participants outside of the followers of Angoron and Tarien. The temples of Kor and Ceinara have regularly sent prominent worshippers to support Angoron's teams, while Eluna and Gilead's followers have been frequently seen among the teams in support of Tarien. In practice, any follower of a good or neutral god is generally free to participate with the team of their choice. The contests are generally welcomed, a happy and unpredictable event which is very much a part of the Alexandrian spirit.

Fashion and Culture

Practical Waffles for Sith-makar

By Myrana

You will need...

2 Cups Cricket Flour
2 Eggs
1 t. Salt
4 t. Baking Powder
2 t. Mango Juice
1.5 c Milk
1/4 c. Pearl Sugar
1/3 c. Bone Marrow Compound Butter
1 t. Vanilla Extract

To make the waffles...

  1. In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar; set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature.
  2. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, butter and vanilla.
  3. Ladle the batter into a preheated waffle iron. Cook the waffles until golden and crisp.
  4. Top with pat of bone marrow compound butter. Serve!

The Mysterious 'Crimson Pen' Remains at Large--New Book to Follow!

Due to the riotous popularity of the first book, rumours have started flying that the unknown author intends to continue in this vein. Though speculation is running rampant, the title has already been released: Jyrana in Veyshan--Rescue from the Seraglio! Excerpt as follows:

"Her voice like a thousand sweet bells and with a continence like the most heavenly moon, Jyrana swept by in her array of fine, sheer silks, tiny chimes singing with every trembling movement. The Sheik gazed upon her, perfumed and bathed and dressed fit to steal his wheezing breath away...He waddled forward with sinister delight..."

The author, dubbed only as 'The Crimson Pen' remains at large!

Gread Paladin Advice Column

Q: GREAT PALADIN, what do you do with a lethal wewapon?

A: Only draw it in times of great need. I am fortunate enough to have great need of it all the time.

An Update, and Interview, on the Uprising of the Artificer's Hall

The Artificer's Hall released an official statement today, intending to address concerns erupting from recent events on 25th Callem, 1018. Early that evening, the Hall stood up as though a great automation, shook, and then halted. While the construction has not moved sense, it has caused no end of speculation.

The Hall originally reported that it was investigating the issue. Today, Hurdrizh Silverarm provided us here at the Tribune with an update. Silverarm is a priest of Reos, and a member of the Artificer's Hall. He started off quickly, and to the point.

Tribune: So, to get to the question that's on everyone's mind--what caused the eruption?

Silverarm: We now know that the eruption was caused by the acts of a mad man. Among his belongings, we found journals dedicating himself to, and praising Asumit. I don't think that's the work of a sound mind, and we're lucky to have heroes here, in Alexandria, who were able to address it.

Tribune: So this was the work of Asumit, the demon binder?

Silverarm: We believe so, ultimately. Asumit recently attempted to possess any number of people. We're very fortunate. Then, heroes within our own community--working with the Artificer's Hall, of course--thwarted him. That is what ultimately happened, here.

Tribune: The Hall moved, though. It's also showing some Kulthian markings. How do you explain that?

Silverarm: It's just old. ...originally, maybe it was inspired by them, who knows. It was hollowed out though, and made into a place of service and learning. I think that speaks to the intent of artificers in this city, more than anything else. That is, either they wanted to show their conquest over the Kulthian...foolishness, or show how mistakes could be transformed. And I think we've done that.

Tribune: So there is no possibility it will move--that is, animate again? How did this 'corrupt man' manage it?

Silverarm: It has no mechanisms to enable its movement. Its innards are just classrooms and offices. As to how he moved it--well, he was inspired by Asumit...

Tribune: So, we don't expect it to move anytime soon? That may relieve some of our readers out there, but there have been other rumors, as well. Could you address those?

Silverarm: Sure! The rumors are that it opens up into some old areas beneath Alexandros. Areas the city had been built on, and that is true. However, the Hall--we take security seriously. When Animus, honor him, fell, we were the first out to repair old mana lamps and make sure Alexandria's airships flew. So, we're taking this seriously.

Tribune: Can you expand on that some?

Silverarm: means we're building a seal around it. I mean, there could be something down there, there could not be. Either way, we're going to be careful--and prepared.

Tribune: We're glad to hear about it. It isn't every day a building gets up and walks. However, and we have heard this from some of our readers. Can you address rumors of it being tied to Morduzum?

Silverarm: <nervous laugh> It's possible. I haven't been down there myself, but I did hear about some rust monsters coming up. If it did, that would absolutely be a concern, yes.

Afterwards, Silverarm told us about the Hall's sponsorship of an Adventure Troop, and upcoming classes. Information on these classes, and the Adventure Troop, may be found by speaking with local Artifice Hall representatives, or, Silvearm says, he is willing to answer letters directly.

We'll be following up with additional reports, as information develops.

OOC: For more on this article, contact: Alik, Fazahd, Aria, MAC-B1G, or Stirling IC!

Variday, Callem 29, 1018


Fashion and Culture

A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Interviews, V -- Esmaudalein of the Gnomes Today, I am interviewing Esmaudalein, an active and gnomish member of our local theatre community! Esmaudalein is noted for her interesting performances, or unique as described by some--and was able to take time our from her schedule to meet with us. In it you will find descriptions of Selentia, the land of a thousand princes!

Nilou: Thank you for coming, and helping us with this project.

Esmaudalein: Darling, I'm more than happy to help out. Publicity, sweetie, that's the name of the game.

Nilou: Oh, of course. Now, as you know we're focusing on culture and what makes Alexandria a melting pot! We're quite unique in the world. Where is it you're from, ...Esmaudalein, is it? Am I pronouncing that right?

Esmaudalein: Call me /Esme/, darling. I am from /Selentia/, the Land of Princesses. Not, as according to popular rumour, Rosalia. No, mine is that beautiful land of salons, wine and luxe.

Nilou: Ah! I may have heard that rumor, now that I think on it. Oh, such things float about in a city like this one. Now, Selentia...the land of a thousand princes, I've heard it called! Do tell our readers a bit about it, if you would?

Esmaudalein: A thousand princes, but alas, none right for me. Perhaps save the Bard....It is a pleasant land, full of great manor houses and beautiful splendour. Where the poor daughter of a woodsman may meet her prince. Salons of exquisite intellect and bohemian delights. Wonderful balls---oh! for my own debutant ball to be replayed a thousand times would not be enough.

Nilou: Ooh, the manors are legendary. you mind? Could you picture--oh, one of your favorites, and describe it? Let's bring it to life for our readers! And which bard?

Esmaudalein: <here, Esme becomes upset that I do not know who she is speaking of--and when I hear the name, I quite understand!> The Bard??! Surely a man of letters such as yourself knows of the great playwright, that muse of all thespians and poets, the great Gaudarne?

Now, the manors---oh, my! My favourite, the Durretti House, by the sea. Four fine wings surrounding a courtyard of such exquisite beauty that you would /die/ to be allowed within." Almost a visible swoon. "Fountains of liquid grace, and meticulously hand-picked pebble paths. Hundreds of cats preening and being groomed... Expansive grounds, with such fabulous formal gardens as you would not believe. Plants from all over Ea, raised from seed by skilled druids. And the towers---my, imagine ascending to the eighth or ninth floor on those fine marble steps, to be greeted with the gilded walls, the rosewood floors, the thick sheepskin rugs, the tapestries, the art of a thousand generations... and with the finest company one could hope for. Princes, princesses, assassins, diplomats, spies, dukes, barons, generals, artists, actors, writers, merchants---and me, the daughter of a simple woodcutter, invited to the salon in the west tower of Gaurdarne...

Editor's note: It's since come to our desks that the description Esme gave of Selentia is not quite accurate! We assume she just became carried away.

Nilou: Gaudarne! Ah! Of course. A perfect inspiration to--take inspiration from, you know. Now...But what caused you to leave all of this splendour?

Esmaudalein: The lure of the world-renowned, and most excellent, Bardic College of Alexandria. That fine institution, which can give such excellent training to actors such as myself. I was fortunate to be patronized by a wealthy merchant---with whom, I might add, and contrary to rumours, I did not share a bed, nor anything more licentious than lunch and polite conversation.

Nilou: I had scarce heard the rumors. Now--so you left Selentia and came to the College. What surprised you most about it?

Esmaudalein: The songs, dear, the songs. Oh, they'll... melt your face. Why, I know my fair share of bawdy tunes, but none quite as shocking as I heard within the walls of my dear alma mater. Yes, the songs, and the rather... <she pauses> /Loose morals./

Nilou: Oh...oh! Well...yes, I suppose some areas in the city can be known for that sort of thing. ...I'm terribly glad you've come by though, Esme! It's been a delight.

Esmaudalein: Marvelous, darling, the /pleasure/ was chiefly mine. I look forward to seeing my name in print again.

Interviews, VI -- Durrankar of the Sith-makar Here, I interview Durrankar, a steward of Mictlan! Mictlan was gifted to the sith-makar through an arrangement with our local druids. Here, we talk about sith-makar greetings, caste, and how they view the treaty! Read on for more!

Nilou: Nilou Farsens Scribbetter, Alexandrian Tribune. I'm thrilled you've agreed to help me with this project! <here I offered him a hand, which proved to be a mistake...keep reading!>

Durrankar: Durrankar, steward of Mictlan. it is nice to meet you. Interesting that you've asked for an...interview...

Nilou: I hope you think so! I imagine our readers will be so excited! You know, in the history of things, your people are so new! The sith-makar! So you are new, at least to us. I heard no one knew about you until the hundred years or so?

Durrankar: That is because we did not come from the jungle of Am'Shere until then." <here, Durrankar looks at my hand> "What that....supposed to signify something? <he then tilts his head to the side, and moves his tail about>

Nilou: Oh! The crate is here because...well, we're a different height, you see. Otherwise, I might be interviewing your kneecaps, you know. <pauses> Oh! You mean to shake hands? I take it the sith-makar don't do that sort of thing, then? How do you greet one another?

Durrankar: Our normal greeting is 'Peace on your nest'. Which is like wishing no harm to take place. A nest, to the sith makar can symbolize many things. The home, the heart, your fire." Durrankar explains pointedly. "in Am'shere it is very much a battle for survival. So, protecting the 'little ones' is paramount. As they cannot defend themselves, it is up to the rest of us to defend them, teach them, how to hunt, to fight. To take, or crush an egg is not only an insult to the one who laid it, but it is an insult to the entire tribe.

Nilou: That is fascinating. You know, that reminds me. I imagine there must be a few differences in our culture, so I apologize ahead of time. Do let me know if something is offensive, or unclear. I think if we work it out, it could help our readers understand you, that is the sith-makar, better. ...Speaking of cultures, I had a question for you from one of our readers. We keep hearing the term 'cihuaa.' What is that, exactly? Could you tell me about it?

<Included here is an artist's render of a generic sith-makar demonstrating a tail-thump, with the caption: "A sith-makar greeting!">

Durrankar: First, let me explain that. <Durrankar gestures to my picture> That is a friendly greeting, before the greeting. In Am'shere, you have many stealthy predators. The 'tail thump' as you call letting someone know they are there. it is loud, where there should be stealth. In essence, you are announcing your presence to someone you consider a friend. It also signifies approval of something, or that they like an idea. signifies 'life partner' or 'mate'. I have one myself, Un'eth. She is also of the woods. However, Life partner is more accurate, since sith'makar do 'mate' for life, the bond is much deeper, like two halves of a heart. it is not to be entered to lightly, nor is it about creating is a bond like no other. You share your fire, food, warmth, and more with another.

Nilou: Is that why most of the sith-makar don't ...what is the phrase? Oh! Take cihuaa? Go cihuaa? Claim...? As you can see, it's a term we often hear, but so different!

Durrankar: Politics are meaningless in Am'shere. We fight for survival. You are either hunter....or prey. You do not want to be prey. And the term is 'take' cihuaa. It is not like 'marriage'. You are either happy with your cihuaa before you take her...or him....or you do not become a cihuaa, or take one.

Editor's note: Some research suggests it's as often political as it is personal. But, I cannot claim to have an insider's knowledge here.>

Nilou: You know...I'd heard one other thing that puzzled me. What is caste, and what does that mean? And...which caste are you? Or is that a rude question?

Durrankar: It is not rude. A caste is......something you do. And the names are self explanatory. Hunter caste tracks down and gets food for others. Warrior caste are the guardians of the tribe. The shaman caste are the teachers and the spellcasters of the tribes. And the merchant caste are the traders of the tribes. The Merchant caste are the ones that bring goods from Am'shere...I am of the shaman caste.

Nilou: The shaman caste! What does that mean? Well, to you, personally?

Durrankar: They are the guides of the tribes. They teach how to use spells, or how to bring beneficial things to your tribe. are trying to get a medicinal herb for your child, but you do not know which it is. You go to a shaman to find out which herb it is...and the shaman sends the hunter to get it. A shaman is a position where all eyes look to you for...advisor. That is what it is.

Nilou: I'm given to understand, well, you just emerged in the last 100 years. Alexandria is the first...outside nation you've made a Treaty with? What did you think when you first saw it?

Durrankar: It was a great opportunity. The sith-makar would not survive without help, and it is good to learn new things from others." <here, Durrankar thumps his tail again, a movement which I am not sure I understand; in this context it seemed to be an affirmative> If we did not venture out of Am'shere....I would not have met my cihuaa, so I'm a little biased.

Nilou: Oh! Well, we are down to the last question, now. Thank you for talking with me so far. For this one, I would like you to paint a picture. If a visitor came to Am'shere, from Alexandria--what would they see? What is the impression they would get?

Durrankar: It. Is. Hot. You could sit on a stove and be cooler than in Am'shere. Not only is it is humid. Those who are not prepared will find it difficult to breathe while there. It is a jungle. Also, until you are in the care of a tribe tribe's guards, you must be prepared to defend yourself. It is a fight for survival in Am'shere, as I have said before. If you are not ready to defend yourself, or must rest for the night, you might make preparations to make yourself less of a target. Minimizing your scent, not wearing brightly colored or easy to spot clothes, and more.

However, despite the battle for survival, Am'shere is a very beautiful and vibrant jungle. Many plants and animals are in Am'shere and some are particularly beautiful, if deadly. Some of the parrots there are very colorful.

Nilou: Thank you for taking the time. And...peace to your nest? Is there a standard goodbye?

Durrankar: May the Dragonfather's wings shelter you. <He thumps his tail> That is a normal goodbye. And for us, the Dragonfather is the platinum dragon. To you, he is known as Daeus.

Ask Great Paladin!

Q: Are knitting needles truly the secret superweapons we have always feared? And by this reason, should we all be afraid of Myrana and other, perhaps secret knitters?

A: In the hands of common folk, knitting needles are harmless. Well, as harmless as anything can be harmless. However, there are some few who can put knitting needles to deadly effect. Consider, perhaps, the fighter with the Improvised Weapon feat. Or consider the paladin who smites. And then, of course, if the knitting needles are made of exceptional materials, such as adamantium, they could theoretically be used to sunder even the mightiest of weapons. However, there is one circumstance which makes all others pale in regards to potential lethality.

In the hands of the grandmother, they are truly awesome and fearsome. They can craft clothing of such garity and embarrassment that one must unfortunately wear. For only the most terrible of people could refuse to do so for a grandmother. That they must present themselves in those horrid knitted monstrosities lest they upset the kindly old matron is a cross that must be borne. A scar on the emotional psyche that can never be healed. That this is all known before even taking that fatal step simply makes it all the worse. In short, knitting needles in the hands of a grandmother can utterly destroy one's sense of self respect and place in this world.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Artificer's Hall Follow-Up

The Artificer's Hall is now several feet in the air. The building, once sedately located on the ground, now stands on eight metal legs, taller than a human is high. Precise reports of the event have been conflicting so far, ranging from a failed experiment to routine tests of existing manatech. Other reports suggest students from the Bardic College running amok. Whatever the source, the change now appears to be permanent.

Stoneworks' New Menu!

A longtime staple in Vadran Village, Stoneworks' Calzones is pleased to announce several new items to their menu! Alongside the fresh fare from local farmers, they are offering an additional number of traditional khazadi-styled sausages, mushrooms, and breads! Stop by for some good, filling calzones, khazad-aul style!

Gilday, Callem 24, 1018


A bizarre swarm of giant spiders were sighted on the high bridge earlier today.

Apparently, some merchants accidentally enlarged a group of them with a carelessly disposed of potion. They are now paying serious fines for their recklessness. Thankfully, Alexandria being Alexandria meant that there were numerous warriors in the immediate vicinity. Rumors indicate Myrana Jn'rajh was present (leading some to speculate that this was an elaborate divorce attempt), Alba, Jokul, Fazahd, Jacob, Ylerona and Shaoqing. For those that would recognize their descriptions, anyway.

Kesenday, Callem 19, 1018

Warfare in Skald

Rumors of inter-demon warfare in Skald have reached the ears of Alexandrians. It would appear that the Binder, Asumit, is having difficulty controlling his forces recently. It's more like an ongoing skirmish betweeen various power-hungry demons. Khazadi scouts are expressing concerns over the renewed warfare spreading out of Skald, but it's not like demons have been confined to those areas lately.

Eliday, Callem 14, 1018


Fashion and Culture

A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Interviews, III -- Yelrona of the Llyranesi

Today, I am interviewing Yelrona, of the llyranesi. She makes her living within the city proper, and comes from she explains, a small town among the llyranesi. What does a llyranesi small town look like? Let's find out!

Nilou: You know, Yelrona, until recently, we never saw much of your people! I was telling someone earlier--I'm not sure we in Alexandria have a good picture of just what your homeland is like. I'm glad you came to talk with me. Could you tell me a little about it?

Yelrona: Certainly. I guess the first thing I should explain is that I'm not from Llyranost, like most of the llyranesi you see here. I'm from a small elven settlement in the Mythwood, a few weeks travel from here... well, a few weeks travel for me, anyway. Yles Namvadin -- in Trade that would be 'Sweet Water', I suppose, it was named after a nearby spring. There's not really much to tell... it's a small settlement, maybe 30 families. The biggest institution is the Temple of Eluna, where my mother was priestess. We... well, I suppose it's like any small town, right? We were mostly concerned with our own private matters, with centuries-old family feuds and whether the apple orchard out next to the river belonged to the Diemetri family or their neighbors, the Nalion." <laughs> "It was rather dull, really."

Nilou: Oh, but it's fascinating! You know, I suspect many of us have have a few misconceptions of the llyranesi. To us--well, look at the storybooks! Great forests, huge, sweeping castles that reach into the clouds...But it isn't all like that, is it? At least, not where you grew up?

Yelrona: No, not at all. I know what you mean, of course, we tell the same stories ourselves! They are part of our history. But... well, nobody tells great epic tales about bakers and tailors and <here Yelrona laughs, indicating the two of us in the room> reporters and street performers. But if you look around, there's a lot more of us than there are heroes. Most of us don't live in castles in the sky, any more than anyone else does. <pauses> There are differences, of course. There was a lot more magic in... everything... back home. Everyone had some sort of arcane connection. And... other things.

Nilou: Oh, yes! The ties of the llyranesi to the arcane are...well, legendary, I think. Do you mind a small demonstration?

Here, Yelrona looked a bit startled, but was game.

Yelrona: Mm? Sure, I suppose. I mean, I'm not a mage or anything, but... well, for example...

<...a nearby basket of pastries rustles, and an apple tart floats through the air. Throughout the rest of the interview, Yelronw takes occasional bites from it while it hovers there.>

Nilou: Hah! Wonderful! Marvellous! So...well, that's entirely fascinating. Well...that reminds me. In the stories, I heard you have a queen, Her Majesty Aeslyn Son'Doriel, and she is part of Son'Doriel? But, you came from a smaller village. Were houses a thing where you're from, and--are you part of one?

Yelrona: No. Or, well, I mean, sure, we had households and family lineages, of course, but not like the Royal Houses... that was for royalty and such. Anyway, to be honest, I probably know less about the Royal Houses of the Llyranesi than you do... it just never interested me that much.

Nilou: Was it that disinterest that...brought you to Alexandria? Or what was it, exactly? Alexandria sounds a very different place than what you were describing.

Yelrona: In part, maybe. Mostly...Well, my mother was the ranking priestess of Eluna in Yles Namvadin, as I said, and everyone just assumed that one of these centuries I would take her place. Except I... well, let's just say it wasn't for me. Eventually it just became easier to follow my own path somewhere _other_ than home. And besides, look at everything that's going on! You can't just hide out in the Mythwood and wait until it passes. And also... well, can I put in a bit of a personal pitch here?

Nilou: Oh, of course.

Yelrona: So, one reason I came to Alexandros was in the hopes of finding my father, Avourel. He, er... well, he travelled a lot, but he's been gone for over thirty years by now, which is a lot even for him, and... well, I'm hoping I can find out where he is, or, you know, what happened to him. I know he was here twenty years ago or so, and I thought maybe your readers... you know, one of them might have met him?

Nilou: We can publish a picture, to be sure. Oh! Oh. If you don't have one, why. I'll take you to one of our sketch artists, once we're done. They can reconstruct him from your memories, I imagine. I don't mind at all, and am happy to help.

Yelrona: That would be wonderful. Thank you so much!

<Two images of Yelrona's father are included here, as imagined by the Tribune's sketch artist.>

Nilou: Well, I for one am glad you came to Alexandria, you know. Perhaps we can help eachother--as Alexandrians should! Though...there is something the llyranesi have done that has a lot of us wondering. I wondered if you can shed some light on it?

Yelrona: You mean the gift of magic, I assume?

Nilou: Of course! Why give something like that up? I mean--the secrets, perhaps hundreds of spells?" the reporter says, waving a small hand. "No one knows what to think, you know. Do you have a guess?"

Yelrona: Of course! You came to the right person... I remember those strategy discussions intimately. You see... <pauses> ...I have absolutely no idea. But if I had to guess, I'd guess that it was related to, well, everything that's been going on. The demons, and Heth, and, well, everything. My people, especially those who rule, magic is in our blood. If humans knew an ally was going to be attacked, they might offer weapons or soldiers to help defend them. Dwarves might offer to build secure bulwarks. Elves? Elves offer magic. <shrugs> Either that, or we actually meant to send those secrets to our cousins in the East, and put the wrong mailing label on them. One or the other.

Nilou: Well, thank you for taking the time. It's been nice to be able to talk with one of the llyranesi, aside from the storybooks, I mean. Now, let me take you to that sketch artist.

Yelrona: Thank you!

Editor's note: Alexandrians searching for a missing person are welcome to stop by the Tribune's offices, and ask an image be published, along with pertinent information. Artists and assistance may also be found through the local Watch.

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Fashion and Culture (Cont'd)

Interviews, IV -- Ga'Elian of the Sylvanori

Today, I am interviewing Ga'Elian, of the sylvanori. He resides in Alexandros and he says, makes a living protecting travellers. We also talk about some of the questions most puzzling to Alexandros, such as--what does the home of the sylvanori look like? And, of course, recent politics--at least from the sildanyari side of things!

Nilou: Ga'Elian, I understand you're a follower of Gilead?

Ga'Elian: Well mightest thou think so, but while the White Stag hath favored me greatly, 'tis His sister Niessa that I, and my tribe generally, revere first.

Nilou: You know, I recall he's the god of travel. I don't think I've heard of...Niessa, is it? Could you tell me a little bit about her?

Ga'Elian: Among humans, She is called 'Eluna'. She hath held sway among the Sildanyar since antiquity and the revels of the fae are normally celebrated in Her silver light. More recently, the eldritch dominions have looked to Her for the grace of inspiration.

Nilou: Oh! You know, that's fascinating. Do all sildanyari call Her that, or is it more locak, from your tribe?

Ga'Elian: Llyranesi also know Her by this name. As for the Mul'niessa, I know but little of their ways.

Nilou: Fascinating! Until recently, the llyranesi and sylvanori kept to themselves. I think the image we all have of them is from storybooks. The mysterious forest, or a shining castle surrounded by vines. Do you mind telling me a little what your home was like? I think our readers would be interested. What do you think is the first thing a visitor would be struck by?

Ga'Elian: Methinks most civilized folk might suppose we were camping. But the Faravanilas tribe moveth from place to place as the game wandereth. The Perianath is wide enough that we never go more that a hundred leagues from one place to another. The rocks and streams are our friends, and we have frequent contact with the fae and other creatures of the wild. Overall, I would guess that city-folk would be aroused by the abundant greenery and clean air, although I suppose some might be frightened by the native sounds of the wilderness.

<Image of Ga'Elian's homeland, as described to one of the Tribune's sketch artists: >

Nilou: Fascinating. What brought you to Alexandria, then? It is very different.

Ga'Elian: Good question. Thou speakest aright concerning my people--that until recently, but few ventured from Llyranost. Why, even now 'tis mostly those of my generation who feel the call to reach out to the greater world. See, over the centuries, there hath been a marked decline in the rate of Sildanyari birth. In recent decades, this decline hath accelerated to alarming depths. Many believe that interacting or even interbreeding with outsiders is the only or best way to stem that decline, but 'tis fraught with controversy among the elders who geat that the cost of such actions would be to lose the very nature of what it is to be Sildanyari. I personally feel more inclined to take the elders' view on the matter but...

My own personal decision to come hither is motivated by a combination of things. Partly, beautiful as my home is, I long to see the wonders of Ea beyond the Perianath. Partly, 'tis due to the calling I received from Niessa and Mahal (or Gilead as He is called among humans). In the Faravanilas tribe, each youngling departeth upon a month-long dreamquest on the night of the first full moon following their 100th birthday. In it, one traveleth alone into the wild going withersoever the Silver Huntress shall guide, and in the process learneth Her will for his adulthood. In mine, I was inspired to range the wide lands of Ea. More recently, tidings of the daemonic infestation, breaking forth upon Ea through the gateway of Alexandria came even into the forests, so I came for to help.

Editor's note: The decline of the sildanyari is a hotly debated topic. What is known is that they began to age and die, and lost much of their power. Scholars attribute this to their loss of ties to the fae realms, while others go so far as to blame the dark gods.

Nilou: Given that we're talking about the sylvanori coming out--and your own reasons for coming here--there is a question I'm sure many have wondered about. What about the magic? Quite recently, as you know, the llyranesi gifted the city--and the world--with new spells, magic, and ideas. They did this shortly after they re-emerged. What do you think prompted it? I don't mind saying, everyone here is stumped.

Ga'Elian: I may not be the best person to ask about the Llyranesi and their gifts of magic. While my tribal elders acknowledge the Llyranesi royals as overlords, quite frankly they bear but little direct influence among the tribes of the Sylvanori. I know that anciently the druids learned some of our ancestral rituals, but the recent sharing of magics by the Llyranesi is as much a mystery to me.

Nilou: Thank you for coming by, Mr. Ga'Elian. It's been a pleasure.

Ga'Elian: Good luck, master Scribbetter.

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! Is it true that you once caused the sky to rain demons?
A: The story has changed over time. The truth of it was that it rained demon pieces.
Q: Great Paladin! What do I do if someone is eating cookies in my bed?
A: If someone eats cookies in your bed, then you lay in wait for the next time and when they start eating cookies in your bed again you burn it.
Q: Great Paladin, how many gobs could a hobgob chuck if a hobgob could chuck gobs?"
A: This is an answer I do not have. But I would pay good money to see. We would also have to define precisely what counted as a chuck. Is it more or less than a lob? How does it compare to a pitch? Or a punt? All of this should be thoroughly researched through demonstration.
Q: Great Paladin! ...are paladins also throwing weapons?
A: ...they are not. :(

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Tariday, Aestry 26, 1018


Death of Chef Plot Cooks Up

Reporting by Arnold Benson, Alexandria Tribune

Dillen StoneSpike of the IronHammer clan past away this Eliday. A local craftsman and active member of the community, StoneSpike was perhaps best known for his participation in the anual Chili Cookoff. His son Tillbard told the Tribune "Dad loved the Cookoff. He'd spend all year working on his chili, trying to get it just right to wow the judges."

Dro'bac Irontusk, a long time rival in the cookoff, spoke at a brief memorial outside the StoneSpike home. "Dillen and I argued often, but always with respect and freindship. The world has lost a great man, and a great chef. So I will not be entering this years cookoff, but will instead be working with Tillbard to recreate his father's signature chili, that everyone can enjoy one last bowl in memory of Dillen Stonespike."

Adventurer's Guild Pranked

A DISTURBANCE AT THE ADVENTURER'S GUILD two nights hence has been widely reported throughout the city, and has been the subject of intense speculation. What is apparent is that some kind of fracas took place, with guildsmen caught in the middle.

A spokesman for the Guild stated today that the clean-up operation has been a complete success, and that the business of the Guild has returned to normal. Damping down wild rumour, the spokesman reported that, contrary to popular belief, the events were unrelated to recent demonic activities in the city.

A watchman stated later that the incident is likely to have been a prank involving students at the Bardic College and members of the Society of Progressive Arcanists. Both organisations declined to comment, with the College stating only that it was not responsible for the actions of the student body.

The city watch are appealing for further witnesses to come forward.

A New Kind of Gardening

Lower Alexandria was the site of yet another demonic eruption Tariday evening as an infernal creature caused havoc. Witnesses report the creature's appearance in the Market District, destroying seven stalls before heading south towards the city hospital.

"It was a right monster, it was!" said Louis Cooper, owner of one of the destroyed stalls. "Just came out of nowhere, belching fire, smashing things to pieces with that blade of 'is!" Several witnesses reported a black-glowing blade and leathery wings on the creature, though reports conflict. Exact casualty counts are still unknown, but are estimated at a dozen or more. A guard official speaking off the record suggested that the number would have been far higher had the populace not fled sensibly.

The demon was dispatched shortly after its arrival in the Garden District by several hospital guards and clerics. Although no further information about the demon's origins was available, several witnesses did report seeing two elves fleeing the Garden just before the battle broke out... one of whom was described as a Dark Elf wearing a large feathered hat.

OOC: See Demon in the Garden for details.
The Ballad of Ga'Elian

The staff here at the Tribune has been informed of a new song making the rounds at the Bardic College entitled "The Ballad of Ga'Elian, Ettin-Slayer." We reproduce it here without further editorial comment.

Now a farmer needs assistance,
So approaching from the distance
Three elves and a child of giants near the farm.
Sunblade Sorscha, sword of morn,
Mighty Kailin, giant-born,
Quick Yelrona and Ga'Elian the wild.
Though the day is bright and clear
They see no sign as they draw near
Of any threat that has this farmer's crops defiled,
And yet the crops are disappearing
As the four of them are nearing.
Soon enough they see what means to do them harm.
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses,
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies, they're giant bunnies!
The buck-toothed beasts soon face defeat,
And, having saved the farmer's wheat,
Our heroes pause to heal and offer thankful prayer,
But they soon have cause to learn
A giant hare's owner, in turn,
May be itself a giant: in this case an ettin.
For this fight they're unprepared,
And perhaps a little scared,
Holding firm but still they're nervously a-sweatin'
When a pair of arrows' flight
Ends the unexpected fight,
And the wild elf earns the title Ettin-Slayer!
Bunnies, they're giant bunnies!
Or maybe ettins?

For more info, see

Great Paladin Advice Column

Q: GREAT PALADIN! If a parent yells at a child, is it good to leave spiders in the parent's pillows, every night for a week?

A: Spiders are unacceptable. They serve a great purpose in controlling the bug population. To sacrifice them to head squishing on the pillows of parents would lead to an uncontrolled population boom for other gross and disgusting creatures. I suggest, instead, lining the inside of their pillow cases with honey.

Q: But what about snakes?

A: Snakes would be acceptable. The parents would surely see their ire was misplaced when they realize how industrious their child had to be in order to round up that many snakes.

Q: If an Otyugh requests sanctuary am I required to give it?

A: Of course, you are required to give it sanctuary. Hobgoblins, and by extension goblins and gnomes on account of them barely qualifying as sentient, are the perfect people to give sanctuary to such creatures as Otyughs. This leaves humans free to do more important and less disgusting tasks.

Q: Great Paladin! Is the consumption of demons moral?

A: This is of great debate. On the one hand, when demons know that what they hunt and prey upon has taken to using them as a form of sustenance, it begets a kernel of fear. A kernel which can only grow when they open their eyes to how adept some mortals have become at hunting demonkind.

On the other hand, eating demons is kind of like eating heaven's poop.

So, is the consumption of demons moral? My answer is this. Morality does not come into it. It all depends on how aggressively you brush your teeth.

And if you enjoy ritual cleansing or not.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.


Seeking Forward-Thinking, Business-minded Professionals Seeking forward-looking businessfolk. Inquire within the Warehouse District near the Docks. Look for a building with a half gold circle overhead, in reverse. We look to encourage ethics and fair trade within Alexandria's port waters. Specialists in trade negotiations and legal matters preferred, as well as those with more physical traits and of a good disposition.

Opinions and Personal

An Appeal to Artificers

by Stirling

It it with heavy heart that I must share the news that Old Clunk's junkyard has been savaged by a hoard of vile demons. It may even be true that he is not the only one affected by the infection of evil underneath our city. However this is not just an ordinary target, this is a pillar of the artificing community!! A master of mechanical, a collector of crafts, a teacher of the technical! What artificer, what tinkerer, what crafter in this city did not get their start with the help of Old Clunks? When we were missing that key mana capacitor, when we needed that extra mithril hyper conductor, when we needed to find those polarized surge crystals at 3 am, who was there? Old Clunk was there! Either collecting the scraps and leftover pieces of our projects to help out the budding artificer, to help complete the midnight project or to find the key component we needed in our darkest hour. We cannot let this stand!

To all the crafters, artificers, tinkerers and mechanicly minded, let us restore Old Clunk to his former glory! Come lend a hand and volunteer with orginization and cleanup! Drag that old piece of scrap in your backyard in and donate it to the cause! That project that's still in pieces your going to get to someday? You know thats not today, bring it in! Come down and share your hands, your minds and your extra artfice to restore a pillar of the community to greatness.

In support of Old Clunk's Titan Arms and Armor (Stirling) will be offering at-cost arms and armor crafting to anyone who has volunteered at the junk yard for the next month!

Anniversary Announcement

A belated congratulations to Ladies Sandiel and Myrana, who recently celebrated their first year, together. The two were originally married on Korday, Hattanan 7, 1017! Congratulations to you both!

Heroism: An Unrecognized Opportunity for Fall Debutantes!

by Abrahil Fozzletorque Brindlegear

Oh, as I sit here quill in had, nothing could have me more excited! How bright the future looks, with our brawny, handsomemost heroes slaying demons in the street! Why, just the other day I beheld Jareth, sweat glistening mightily as he slew devil-giant after devil-giant! Such adventure! Such heroism in Alexandria!

Such bravery!

For the prospective youth, nothing could be better. No time is more exciting! Why, with such bravery in front of us, how can we fail to find potential worthies for the upcoming fall dances, and otherwise celebrations? Such wonderment and promise for a fulfilling fall, a gorgeous and upcoming glory to the social scene in Alexandria!

It is with this in mind I wish to wish everyone here an upcoming, glorious and enjoyable fall season! As the demons tromp through and as Arendt continues his most disgraceful huff-and-puff, do not forget to stop by the Arcanists' to check out upcoming styles--oh, the wonder with cantrips these days! Or, the many noted shops in Alexandria! As well, keep an eye open for festivities--it promises to be an active, beautiful season! We must prepare!

Now, if you will excuse me--oh! It's time for tea, and to take a bit out to watch the heroisms in the streets. They're quite good, you know! Such inspiration!

Fashion and Culture

The Summer Butterfly

Fashion is a fickle creature, and this summer is no exception. From ruffles to ruffly bustles, the "Summer Butterfly" style has taken off in force. Members of the Arcanists have produced colors and animations "of the sort to accompany the most sophisticated pedestrian, with a gentle fanning motion to maintain a refreshing breeze" this fashion appears both stylish and for a rare once, practical.

The inspiration for the style is claimed by at least three local designers, though rumor has it that it originated due to an acolyte's miscast on Lady Sandiel's "most remarkable bustle." The truth as always, remains elusive. Perhaps this time, as elusive as a gentle butterfly's wings.

A Touch More Blood

By reports, the sith-makar and the local Ygdrassil Union get along well, and the sith-makar presence in the City has been "spotty, outside of festivals and the Lower Trades," according to Siaria, who works in Alexandria's Chamber of Commerce. Lately however, a few of these reptiles have been seen about the Theatre District.

Reports Vilian Flaria, of the Flightwright, "We believe it's a natural fit for them. Their culture has a large oral, and performance element to it. Theatre is just a natural part of that."

Siaria added: "Our Treaty is under two years old. Between nations, that is hardly any time at all. Really, we're just coming to know one another. It's easy to say they look different than us--okay, obviously, but there are other differences as well. I believe art is a universal language, though. Theatre may be an area where we can really connect."

Have any sith-makar attended shows so far? Flaria responded that they had. "They seem to particularly like ones where Charn is the villan. In fact, one of their ...shamans? I think it was, came back later and asked if we couldn't add a touch more blood."

A Series of Interviews of Alexandrian Culture

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, have been tasked with a series of interviews about life here in Alexandria and the cultures that compose it! The City is one of the melting pots of the world, and I am attempting to capture its mixture in words.

Expect more upcoming in the coming weeks!

Interviews, I -- Adalhard Zaldwolf

Here, I interview Adalhard Zaldwolf, formerly of Blar. He arrived in Alexandria with his family, and despite some difficulties, quickly set about creating a life here. Adalhard, what would you say to our readers about your travel here, and what you expected to find?

Adalhard: We could think of nothing but Alexandria was a land of bravery. Blar had been freed by heroes and that was our impression of them. When we got here, this was not the case. At least, not all of the way.
Nilou: No? What was different?
Adalhard: It was very different. Heroes are extraordinary people and I think they must see many kinds of people in their life. When we arrived--we did not look like the oruch, who they were used to. There are also all these rumors--the great arvek nar nations, very strong military. And I those are true. But we came here, and we were very poor and desperate. And perhaps we did not fit those expectations. Perhaps we looked very different.
Nilou: There was some unrest in the Trades at the time.
Adalhard: Yes, there was. And among the guilds. I think they worried that we would take their jobs. But arvek--what we want to do, is build. We want to make things better. With our embrace of Serriel, we march towards the dawn.
Nilou: So that is a--what do you mean when you say 'March towards the dawn'?
Adalhard: It means we move to greater and better things. Arvek will make Alexandria strong. Stronger, I mean. Already you see it in our stables.
Nilou: Thank you.
Adalhard: Has been a pleasure.

Editor's note: The Malifre Stables may be seen outside of the Northern Gates. The Malifre is known for its cleanliness and the orderliness of its grooms. It houses hundreds of steeds of varying types for the City of Alexandria.

Interviews, II -- Old Clunk

Here, I interview Old Clunk, a minor icon here in Alexandria. He runs Old Clunk's Junkyard, which was recently subject to demonic troubles!

Nilou: Clunk, I know the first question our readers will have is--what happened?
Old Clunk: <click> What happens in Alexandria, every time I turn my damned back! ...
Nilou: Demons possessing your property, you mean?
Old Clunk: ...well. Not that, exactly. But you know what I mean. I keep some ...useful things in the 'yard, so I will be taking steps to ensure this doesn't happen a third time.
Nilou: So what...tell me about the Junkyard. In your own words, please.
Old Clunk: Well, it's a junkyard. If you know what you're looking for--well, collectors come there, too. War golems also, like myself. When you're made of bits and parts from some high-up artificer, there ain't always a spare. So, I provide that service.
Nilou: I had never thought of that. I suppose we uhm, non-golems just see war golems walking around and never think about needing parts. Ours--you can't replace them.
Old Clunk: Yeah, that's always been a deficiency. Come by though, and there's a guy will hook you up. <click>
Nilou: Hook me up? Oh! You mean like with an artificial limb or something. What do war golems think of that? Someone like me walking about with--an arm or hand made out of artifice?
Old Clunk: We think you finally saw sense.

I assumed he was being sarcastic, but it's hard to tell with that metal face. Nonetheless, I thanked him for the interview. He invited me, and our readers, "down for a Hot '40 sometime." I'm told that's sort of like WD-40, just heated, and that only "poncy golems" take sugar and cream.

Editor's Note: Old Clunk's Junkyard is located out in Goblintown, and is frequented by crafters, artificers, war golems, and gobbers.

Upcoming Events

Warriors of Angoron prepare for a demonstration of strength and athleticism, later this week. The Temple holds such competitions at least monthly. Replies Aka, priestess: "We invite anyone an' everyone ta come down an' test their strength! Especially tha laddies."

At her words, a few of the Warriors nodded. One named Makoro spoke up: "We'll be having a log-tossing contest, a dead lift, an' a Rescue."

Rescue? this reporter asked. Thankfully, Warrior Aka was able to shed some light on the matter: "Well, ya take yer favorite prince or princess--I like tha little laddies an' lads, m'self, they're so adorable when th' blush--and we put them on top of this great, tall wall. Ya climb up ther an' fight off their kidnapper. At tha moment, we got folks dressed up like th' Iron Tide."

When asked if the prince and princess trope was a little tired in this modern era, a third warrior shrugged before adding, "Eh, it's tired--I mean, Alexandria don't really have much nobility anymore, even--but at's what makes it great. It's like them Lunch an' Munch plays. Ya know Lunch, ya know Munch, an' what roles they play. So ya get a 'laddie' an some hero ta rescue them. Eh. Crowd loves it."

The event will take place at the end of this month at the Temple of Angoron.


Munch the TerrorMaw would like to set the record straight regarding the recent article with the Warrior of Angoron.

Though respectful of the Angorites, Munch himself is a Korrite, and will not be aiding in an offical capacity in the demonstrations. He does however intend to attend as a general participant. Despite rumors, he does not know anyone named Lunch, let alone a princess. Or a prince, for that matter.

Kesenday, Hattanani 27, 1018


Midnight Run Report at the Bardic College

Lyrics from "We are the Champions" blazed at 12:00 midnight exactly last Tariday, as seniors tore through the bardic campus. While technically illegal, the "Midnight Run" is a well-established tradition, dating back to the founding of the college. Morning showed the campus painted in fresh murals, with Ceinara's colors prominent.

"Although it's tradition, we encourage every senior to be safe," responded one member of the Watch, when asked about the event. The reactions of various politicians in the area is reported as "mixed."

The college has no immediate plan to paint over the murals. "They may get painted over next year, who knows? Until then, we have examples of this year's finest work," immortalized on two and three story buildings. While true, some nearby residents have objected to the giant, near cartoon-like characterizations of the heads of the Flamewright and Hope local theatres, while others have suggested that it's free advertising.

OOC: The bardic college is a visitable place ongrid! Hop on over to the Theatre District, and look for the paint splashes, upturned chairs, and that one gobber singing that one tune that time that you heard at that place on that one day.

New Treat at the Ox-Strength

Following last week's attack on the Malifre Stables, the Ox-Strength has boasted new, unprecedented quantities of its famous (or infamous) "owlbear stew with pepper." The stew boasts thick, oily segments of owlbear meat, served in a peppery sauce with what may or may not be vegetables.

Ralickwort Takes a Bath

Ralickwort the Weird would like to make it known that, despite rumours to the contrary, the impromptu bath at the hands of fellow gnomic tinkerers and their incredible bubble machine was not solicited in any way. It should also be noted that the subsequent reduction in height, presumably due to a loss of grime, is not in any way impairing his ability to scribe scrolls, brew potions or craft wondrous grubby items.

The incident involved mountains of white soap foam engulfing the unwary, including the hapless Ralickwort, in the festival grounds. It is apparent that some kind of machine failure was responsible; most are blaming a family of gnomes (not related to Ralickwort). Ralickwort himself had this to say: "'Twere raet 'orrid. Ah can 'bsolutely say Ah've nevuh 'sperienced nuffin' like it in all me seven'y years."

Customers to the labworks should note that /that/ smells as rank as ever.

Ask Great Paladin!

A. Serene says, "When did Boshter become a paladin? I am of two minds regarding this. In one respect, it is heartening to see the heathen subhumans gaining some level of decency. On the other hand, I fear the tarnishing it may bring to the exalted status of paladin."

Q. Great Paladin! During times of famine and scarcity, Boshter stole all of the soap. What sort of a sin is this?

A. Cleanliness is next to godliness. So if Boshter is being truthful about his conversion to paladinism, then this sin is only minor and can be overlooked in favour of the greater good. However, if he is lying about his conversion, then he is committing a much greater sin than soap stealing. Impersonation of such an exalted status is punishable by reincarnation. Which is probably to his benefit anyways.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Paladin In Jail?

It all started with the cell doors being closed on me leaving me in a cell with the triplets and the talking carrot. This isn't what is supposed to become of a holy champion of the people, being locked away like a common criminal.

Well, really, that's where the moment began, but there was events leading up to it. There was me, up on the statue in my breeches, singing. Reports vary, some even say it was the national anthem. So, who knows. But the whole thing started with me trying oruch ceremonies. A lot of alcohol and violence. It was the alcohol that did me in in the end.

Of course, I was just trying to expand my horizons, understand religion and culture from different views, learn ways beyond our own. I didn't expect it to go as it did, but I had to face the consequences of it, and the ringing in my head.

So, I tried to focus past the words of the talking carrot that sounded a lot like an Averk Nar about speaking with his fists, my instructors had taught me that there is more than the violence routine to life. So, maybe this was a test, something I needed to understand about myself and about my adherence to the laws and the will of the Gods?

I spent the evening in quiet meditation partly because it made my head feel better but also to try and understand that there is always a story behind the scenario, there is always a reason leading up to the situation. I believe this was an act of the Goddess to help me understand that, so that not every bad action is done by bad people for bad intent. I should try to see the root cause and fix that, not follow the common town guard reaction and lock people away for violating the laws. After all, it doesn't fix the underlying problem, it just sweeps it under the rug for a while.

So, moral of the story, do not judge people based on the events you see unless you truly understand the events that brought them to be. Everybody's got a story, all you need to do is listen and we could make the world a better place. I mean, just look at my story as an example.

Constable's Report

Over the past couple of weeks, the Alexandrian City Guard has seen an increase in the incidence of crimes committed within their jurisdiction. Commenting on the recent renovation of the jail, located at the westen gates of the city, one guard was heard to remark, "If you build it, they will come."

A spokesman for the Adventurer's Guild told the Tribune that they have even noticed that some of their members have had recent run-ins with the law. Just to name a couple of examples, the half-Sildanyari sorceress Telecorn was held over night for shooting off magical flames in public, and the savage Sylvanori called Ga'Elian was arrested on Tariday for assaulting a constable, who later eyewitness accounts say had been brutally beating his own horse. When the Tribune asked the constabulary for details on this alleged horse abuse, the only comment they made was to confirm that Ga'Elian was in custody.

Relics of Local Vardman Saint Unearthed

In Alexandria, heroes shine more brightly than anywhere in the world. Even in the dark. One such light shone in the graveyards years ago, and the Vardaman Temple is pleased to announce further development of Saint Rarvin's local legend. For those unaware, Saint Rarvin began life as a simple gravedigger. While he worked one night, undead came up from the earth.

An Alexandrian to his core, Rarvin grabbed his shovel and stood his ground. The details of what happened that night have been lost, but locals have not given up unearthing the legend. Mourner Kerbasi d'Bahjat reports discovering his shovel and "now a pair of rough, workman's gloves." The gloves, he tells us, are about what you would expect from a man like Rarvin. No further information has come forth, although we are assured the gloves, and the shovel, are being cared for at this time.

Faithful may request to see the items by arranging with local priests of the temple.

Omen in the Sky

In the wee hours of the morning of Variday, Hattanani 16, still long before sunrise, observers at the Shining Chalice Observatory made a discovery that caused them great commotion. They report that a comet was seen on trajectory to cross the star-sign of the Great Wolf, specifically in a region that some have referred to as the chains. Debate among scholars and others as to the meaning of this sign has swelled with many theories competing for acceptance. Official representatives of the Shining Chalice merely comment that the reported observtion is correct, but that the significance of the discovery is still being analyzed.

Gnomen Noodles Noodle Their Way Up!

Although the food originated with khazad tradesfolk hundreds of years ago, it took the gnomes to make it popular. Today, Soup-in-a-Cup comes in many different varieties and some say almost magical flavors. The basic directions however are the same: add water.

"It's marvelous!" according to one spokesgnome, when asked about the product. Cladget Butterfoods is one manufacturer of Soup-in-a-Cup, or gnomen noodles as they are called on the street. Fizkindle Butterwords represents them. "Marvellous," he says. "It's so useful to the everyday tradesperson. Marvellous in its simplicity! That's why we're wanting to up the challenge to the next level!"

His competitor Bonbargo Sparkgrinder over at Fizzy Muffintorque agreed, "Between Butterfoods and Muffintorque, we offer over thirty varieties of Soup-in-a-Coup!"

"That's cup," his competitor reminded him. "Cup, you know. And, nothing like friendly gnomish competition!"

"Oh, right," replied Bonbargo, with a gleam in his eye.

Both Butterfoods and Muffintorque are expected to launch new flavors this summer. The rest of the interview was unable to be completed.

Alexandrosian Town, Kiseldet Demolished: No Survivors

On a day fit for conflict, this last Korday Alexandros saw the devastation of one its towns and the spilling of a centuries-old war onto its grounds. With its population of 73 dead and buildings destroyed, Kiseldet remains a memory in the hearts and minds of those who knew it.

The devestation was caused by a Ko-Jodakh shaman and her accomplice, who sources believe to have been an arcane-blooded of some type. The shaman had reportedly sought to destroy a second township, when Irregulars of the local Guilds intervened. Due to the speed which these heroes responded, countless more lives were saved.

While details are still being investigated, officials are in conversation with local Sith-Makar to determine what may be learned of the shaman's motivations. While no official findings have been recorded, the latter delegation has suggested that the Ko-Jodakh have a history of violence. It is known that the races have been at war for a long time.

When asked why a Ko-Jodakh would issue an attack of this nature, Speaker-caste Noytlallel stated that: "They have alwayss been violent, in my knowing of them. I am not ssurprised if thiss was about attempting to claim territory from Alessandria."

Another suggested, "I sstress we do not know. No one will know until the boness of the dead are made to sspeak."

The action has cast a shadow over Ko-Jodakh visitors to Alexandria. A Ko-Jodakh representative, Rithrize, suggests it was an isolated event, and that his people are being unfairly stereotyped and the claims "like oil from a rock."

The names of all 73 known victims of Kiseldet are published, below.

Ginger Cantrell
Mildred Deirdre Vinson
Ofelia Cheri Grimes
Hyllis Grimes
Geirfufran Grant
Robyn Bryant
Ronda Julia Bryant
Tabatha Cobb Arargha
Tamera Ana Carney
Tammy Jayne Mullen
Valeria Kellie Nolan
Violet Reid
Anda Romdara
Mim Romdara
Rhah Romdara
Yesenia Head
Jo Harper
Mim Romdara
Rorri Arargha
...(list continues)

OOC: I am taking some legwork on this story, for those interested in learning a little more. For details of the scene, contact: Alba, Terewin, Lenore, Kogger, Virton, and Zyla!

Ceriday, Bernlfleur 23, 1018


Tenant Farmers Protest Rising Rent!

A FARMER'S PROTEST filed past the mansion of the Dechanti family in the Noble District yesterday. The farmers, from the frontier town of Antissa, were protesting against further increases to their tenancy charges, at a time when taxes on the sale of livestock are rising and when expectations on the countryside militia are greater than ever.

A solid, dependable backbone to the nation since its birth, the tenant farmers remain fiercely independent of their landlord neighbours in Alexandria. One spokesman described the relationship as "stretched", whilst another said: "The nobles, and their seneschals and lackies in particular, have little or no understanding of agricultural life. I've been asked to go through accounts at length when there's fields of hay to make, or pay rent in midwinter when we've barely enough to feed ourselves." Antissa's official spokeskhazad had this to say: "We are called upon not only to provide food, supplement the income of nobility and line the pockets of taxmen, but also to sacrifice our young men and women to the militia. A rise in our costs at this time of crisis is unacceptable."

The farming community came through the noble district in full colour and regalia, carrying shrines and icons to Angoron, their faith focussed on strength and stamina. Herds of donkeys, sheep and pigs left detritus and mess in the otherwise immaculate streets, and piles of turnips and potatoes were left by the trade entrances to many mansions in a demonstration to the noble houses. "This is what we eat," said one young sila. "Whilst they engorge themselves on the fruits of our labours."

The sil went on to describe her life in some detail. "I have lost many children, and my sister died in childbirth. We cannot afford to pay the stipend for a healer, so often even routine illness can be deadly. Meanwhile you expect food prices to remain low. You must see the impact this has on our communities. That's why we're here today." Her story is sadly typical amongst those heard at the protests, which aside from the blaring of hunting horns and the braying of animals, was entirely peaceful.

Despite the commotion and fuss, the rent and taxes were paid by community leaders quietly to a city official before the group left town last night.

Review: Ox-Strength Gorgon Chili

Raniq Fairhair reports: My old friend Hingvarr and I had been competing for the favor of the same lady, who shall not be named in this article, but neither would prevail, so we chose to decide the question by a gentleman's wager. If I could eat a whole bowl of the gorgon chili at the Ox-Strength Tavern in Alexandria's Warehouse district, then Hingvarr agreed he would not only abandon his overtures toward the lady, but would additionally polish my horse's saddle without magic. Perhaps 'twas not my wisest choice, but I accepted the challenge.

Accordingly, I entered the afore-said establishment. Immediately, my senses were assaulted by the nauseating aromas filling the tavern. My face must have showed it, too, for almost at once, the attendant, one Mel by name, very cordially suggested that I was in the wrong place, and might be more at my ease at the more upscale Fernwood Pub in the Lower Market district, as it regularly caters to the gentry. I replied, telling him of the challenge that I faced. This Mel, very kindly offered to prepare me a much milder chili to eat, and to send a package of the real article with me to prove to Hingvarr what I had endured. But to reneg on my word would besmirch mine honor, so I refused.

After a few moments, Mel returned from the kitchen with the horrifying stench and the concoction from which it issued, and set it before me together with a burnt roll. I paid my coin, and scooped up the largest bite that the spoon would hold and swallowed it down as quickly as possible, while holding my nose. It went down heavy, and left a coating of the nastiest slime in my mouth, but my excellent health bore me through. As I was repeating this process with the second bite, Mel remarked that he believed it possible that the chili did not, in fact have gorgon flesh, but rather that of rats. Not dissuaded, I managed to finish the bowl, never touching the charred roll, and chased it with a tankard of astringent beer before leaving.

I applaud the service of Mel, but after having the runs and stomach pain for the next four days, I caution the citizens of Alexandria that discretion is the better part of valor.

Recipe Book: Thithine

The environment of a culture usually will say a lot about its people and Alexandria is no exception. It's culture is that of hearty people, coming from all over to come together in the mixing pot that is the city. This mixing leads to a lot of different experiences being combined in new and unique ways, sometimes ending up with unexpected results.

One such example of this is Thithine, a spicy food from Veyshan that was designed to provide the energy that would be needed in an easy to transport and eat style. Modern versions are usually spiced to taste, but the original is to be spicy, bringing out the flavors.

It begins with a brine for soaking cabbage leaves in. This brine is made with water, salt, vinegar and other spices, adding in whatever spice you may have...

Sinfull Succulence!

Some Blar culture: For those familiar with Arvek Nar history are aware that for a long period a vast number of the race were servants to Thulite vampires, serving primarily as a military but also as kitchen servants. While the founding of Blar is a new chapter for the Arvek of that city they have carried on some of the old traditions in new ways. The old Thulite masters always had a taste for the most delectable and succulent desserts, which has carried over in the tastes and traditions of the Blar bakers.

One shop in Alexandria, called Sinfull Succulence, bakes and sells the old Blar recipes that have carried on. Some of their most popular items are the Blood Cupcakes, red velvet cupcakes with chocolate frosting. Other popular items include their red cherry chocolates whose inside ooze sweet red cherry syrup as well as lava cake rumored to be so rich that nobody can finish one in a single sitting. Eat at your own risk.

Lost and Found


1 Grail: Appears to be family heirloom. Will return to owner if they can describe it.


1 Ring, Gold. Engraved with Elven Runes. If Found, please contact S. Oran.

Lost Animal

1 Falcon, Black: Reward Offered. Contact Mr. Cairo.

For Sale

Pelts: 1 Moose and 1 Squirrel
See Boris at Fernwood Pub.


Green cat with Yellow Stripes: Free to good home. Speak with Adam Prince.
One Prosthetic Eye: Previous Owner: Awdeen. Great discount. Lokee.


Today's Harrow Card is The Tangled Briar. It indicates an object or person from long ago will have great importance on the next events as they unfold in your life. The object or person in question is one lost or murdered in some foul way.Be on the lookout for the signs, and be forwarned.

Green Eggs and Ham

Some foods come from just one group of people, while others are more from all around the world. This is a delicacy that has quite a story, coming originally from the sailors of the Jade Islands who needed food that could travel with them. Pickling was the common source, the way they stored most of the food for travel, because they could not guarantee time to stop and catch the Red Sunfish or the Blue Snapperfish. This specific meal of picked eggs and cured ham may not sound like much, but it s unique because of its naming, so much so that it became well known among the children when famous bard wrote out a story of the Jade Islander 'Sameyaam' trying to expand the meal out of the sailing ships it was made famous on, ending up with the character liking it after refusing it becausei t seemed so weird.

The eggs were pickled in brine to make them easy to transport, but contrary to popular theory, that was not where the green name came from. When the merchants would trade with the mainland they were called Green Eggs to signify they came from the Jade islands and to differentiate them from the regular white or brown eggs the farmers were used to be seeing. The meat was originally a salt cured ham, cut into strips and kept as lean as possible to get it to last as long as possible during the travels. This was a meal that could sustain the sailors for a long time while travelling and only take up a small amount of the hold on the ships, allowing for cargo to be packed to a premium.

Midnight Run Preparations?

The Alexandrian Bardic College prepares for graduation and its annual "Midnight Run" where seniors blaze through campus at midnight, repainting it in bright colors and adding stunning murals and artsworks meant as a display of hard-won talent. Traditionally, the graduates are chased by faculty and participating members of the Watch, and the results are never fully realized until sunrise.

An up and coming artist, Corleon "Snarbull" Methian, is suggested as a favorite this year, though Snarbull's lead is far from certain. In years previous, class favorites have been upended in this chaotic showdown. What is new this year is the participation of the music school. While this branch of the college has participated in years past, they have been absent since "the tuba incident" 7 years ago.

"We may be there, we may not. I mean, it's technically illegal, right?" replied one puckish sildanyari when asked about the music department's about participation. When asked if it was tradition, she replied, "Well, yeah" before asking what I thought of "We are the Champions."

Catchy tune.

Artifice in the Rough

"...It as good as anything come out of junkyard. Sometimes it diamonds, sometimes it--eeh," No truer words were spoken. Clunk, one of the oldest golems in Alexandria, recently came under fire when one of his parts failed on a repair. Clunk's Junkyard however, operates on a "you find, you use," policy. To the in-the-know, it comprises a haven of leftover artifice parts, half-working clockwork thing-a-ma-whats, and other esotery of a mechanical-magical nature. It's also become a social spot for local war golems, and some gobbers.

Even the disaffected golem, Gearswrought, says it will be back. "I'll just be more careful what I pick out next time. You have to be more discerning with quaslit rithwrench sets." Whatever that is.

((OOC: Old Clunk's Junkyard may be found at A02. It is a new spot ongrid, one we hope will be a welcome place especially to war golems, gobbers, and artificers alike.))

Editorials: A Salute to Concrete

While my people are known for our discipline, one of our trades is often overlooked: the structuring of simple, yet durable concrete. Whoever first developed this wondrous material is up for debate. Alexandria's Exploratory Associates' own research dates its inception further than a thousand years past, to where it was made from rice as part of its mixture, to the latest designs employing volcanic and rock sand that we from Blar (and now, Alexandria) make use of, today.

To the original inventor, society owes a great deal. Some form of this material is used in bridges and docks, storm drains and aqueducts. Most famously, it is encountered by adventuring groups within the sewage system, and along Alexandria's notable walls. These walls have been called a wonder of the world, and would not be possible without the discipline of concrete.

Concrete's mixture is varied, though its formation is not. No matter its composition, concrete must be poured into a mould of some type. Historically, these have been made of brick. Today, both brick and magic may be used. Within certain structures, artifice may even be embedded in these formations, to produce light in evenings, or for a protective or defensive effect. Sometimes, offensive. Concrete structuring and setting is one area where artifice and wizardry come together in a beautiful, if contentious, whole.

Something so simple and versatile is not often remarked upon by the everyday passerby in the streets. Yet, its utility is endless and its strength endurant. In its way, it is not unlike the arvek.


Arnfred Kaulitz, Structurial Engineer


The Malifre Stables, a renowned Arvek-Run stable by Master Horseman Addicus Malifore, had his steeds spooked and break loose by the cunning might of a trio of Owlbears. Cunning is not normally a trait associated with the ferocious, monstrous predators and it is rumored that at least one of them bore signs of demonic blood in its veins, a newly worrying development considering ALexandria's recent trouble with demons in general.

Addicus Malifore, a veteran of the Sendor war who settled in Alexandria instead of returning to Blar after his service to Blar, Alexandria and Myrrdion, has run the stables ever since and was grateful when Explorers from the Guild were dispatched who handily dealt with the monsters with speed and steel! "It was good to see the guild give such a strong response," he said.

Final Update on the Veyshanti Delegation, and Interview

It is with pleasure we continue to report on Ambassador Abba and his delegation. Although the trio have denied involvement with last week's upset at the Warehouse District, others suggest it was only due to the excitement of the new goods brought by Abba's associates.. By accounts, the trio have settled into Alexandria quite well. For the moment, Abba has retreated from the spotlight in order to, he tells us, focus on the upcoming summer festivals in Alexandria. "I have always wanted to attend the Tournament Paramount at least once, in Alexandria's famous Colosseum, and this may be the year to do so," he remarked.

Merchant Tangisir also, was gracious enough to take some time for the interview promised some weeks past. His companion Jaidat was more reclusive, but it is as he said, "Well, we bronzes are just more talkative, you could say." Indeed.

Tribune: How have you found your visit to Alexandria?

Tansisir: Quite nice. It's a little on the cool side, but then I have spent the last few years in the desert. In truth, this is the most conversation I have had in some time.

Tribune: You seem quite sociable.

Tansisir: Thank you, I try to be. It's been some time, as I said. Until a few years ago, I had been a student of the Burning Sands. I still am, of course, just decided to see some of the world.

Tribune: The Burning Sands?

Tansisir: A monastic group. The Burning Sands believe in the purification of the body and mind through the desert's heat. So, yes, sweat lodges are a thing. You could say it is a blend of Navosian and Daeusite beliefs. A little more difficult now, though.

Tribune: With the transference of Honored Navos, I could see that. Something you said intrigued me, though. Sweat lodges. the desert? That must get...

Tansisir: Yes, it does. It does wonders for the mind, though.

Tribune: So you're a student of the Burning Sands, or had been. How did you come to be a merchant?

Tansisir: Family ties. A small number of my kin work here in Alexandria, and of course, caravans in Veyshan. It seemed a time to tie the two together. Get to see the world a little, and expand what my brothers and sisters have said is a natural talent. ...tea.

Tribune: I understand there's been quite some interest in the tea. Do you think you'll expand your trade into other goods, as well?

Tansisir: At the moment, I am primarily interested in my leaves. They match my own interests, you could say. Perhaps we'll see some ruyth i mohdar though, you never know.

Tribune: Thank you for time.

Tansisir: It's been a pleasure.

The three may be seen around the various shops and merchant districts in Alexandria.

Variday, Bernfleur 11, 1018



Explorers recently uncovered a bat-like gobber in the hills of the Heartlands. Claiming to be the result of "just one of those experiments, dahling" the batgobber appeared articulate and at least partially coherent upon finding. She complained of a continual ringing in her ears (which seemed enlarged beyond the typical gobber's). The ringing, she said, may be from the explosions.

The batgobber suggests she was exiled to the Heartlands after her kin found her specializing in cook-wares. The area around her suggests there was some form of science! that occurred, though related to cook-ware, this reporter is uncertain. A passing-by oruch suggested cooked-brains, whereupon the batgobber leapt on him and landed in his hair.

The oruch was unavailable for comment.


Q: Great paladin! I heard that kobolds of Genrivia were going to lead an assault on Charn! What is the lawful action here?! Should we be concerned or buy popcorn?! A: Nobody assaults Charn but me. Prepare my horse.

Q: Great Paladin, I heard that Sandy is selling clothes that are not THE most fashionable thing ever. What do I do?! A: Normally I would not wish this fate on anyone, but in light of Sandy's recent transgressions I endorse sending Abrahil to teach Sandy about fashion.

Q: Great Paladin, what if someone has something that I want, but it doesn't technically belong to me? Can I have it if I want it more than they do?? A: That depends. In most cases, no, you cannot have it. Stealing is illegal. Also, wrong. But if it belongs to a goblin (and by extension hobgoblin) or a gnome, since they are not technically people and thus do not technically own anything, then it would be okay.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.


The Vardamen temple again put forward its bounty on wights within the city. While not wishing to raise any particular alarm, one of their Mourners is quoted as saying, "You can never be too careful, and with Heth out there, it doesn't hurt, you know?"

Wights are, apparently, a virulent form of undead that creates more wights by murdering others for life force that they use as sustenance. While it is not believed any Wights are present in Alexandros territory at the moment, a dose of caution is understandable.


An upset occurred this Variday morning in the Warehouse District. Sources report that employees of Traders Montaigne and Chapelle were involved in the matter, during which several crates were overturned and damage was done to the side of one warehouse. The local Watch was called in to calm the scene and dispersed the chaos. As of print time today, no official cause has yet been determined.

Montaigne and Chapelle are both established trading families in Alexandria, dealing in teas, spices, and other fine, dry goods.

((Want your stories in the Tribune? Visit the Tribune offices in the Lower Trades District to learn more!))


Quality weapons and armor, divinely imbued. Contact Mourner Kerbasi d'Bahjat at the Vardaman Temple. Divine scrolls also offered.

Mithralla Merchandise has been serving the Alexandria area with quality magical items for years. Located upon the Mountain Road, under the giant sword, our crafters use local materials to provide a wide range of quality magical items at competitive prices. From arms and armor, to scrolls and potions, to enchanted rings and a wide assortment of wonderous items, Mithralla Merchandise is sure to have something for you.

Buy potions for health, power, and thickness of skin. Buy scrolls to lay low your enemies. All ingredients fresh -- some even still wiggle. Contact Alba.

To the idiot who keeps tossing their laundry out on Fiscus St. Stoppit. There's only so much a man's meant to see in this world, and knowing wizard socks danced the cha-cha on their own on Varidays isn't one of them.

Need a potion, or an ointment, or just a scroll to feed your familiar? Maybe you want to slight your opponents, or boost your allies. Or, just maybe, you're morbidly curious about just what exactly those potions do. Ralickwort, gnomish witch and brewmaster extraordinaire, remains open for business despite constant public health warnings. Come by Rolickwort's Arcane Labworks (misspelling intentional) for your witchey potion and scroll needs (shrink potion a specialty).

Fantastic and fashionable accoutrements made at quality prices. Contact Abrahil Fizzletorque Brindlegear in the Theatre District! Wondrous items, amazing to behold! Special rates for certain healing items; inquiries and tea welcome.

Pelka is a newish crafter who can enchant weapons, armor, or miscellaneous Wondrous Items that are worn or held. Once the item is ready he will deliver it to you - guaranteed to get there in 30 days or less, or your money back!

Leave word for him at the Society for Progressive Arcanists.

Variday, Eatonis 28, 1018

Upset in the Warehouse District

The Watch was called to the Warehouse District, after a reported altercation of some kind. Details are as yet unknown.

OOC: If you are a Watch PC, please @mail me for details. Expect more public information available in the Tribune later this or next week! You can speed the issue along by sharing your own tales, and earning RPP!

Kirday, Eatonis 24, 1018


An Update on the Veyshanti Delegation

As reported earlier this week, the Tribune was pleased to sit down with the Veyshanti delegation, led by Ambassador Abba. We met them at their residence in Sage Orem's, a familiar place to the Ambassador, who has roomed there almost exclusively during his years of service.

Their rooms were a mixture of Alexandrian and Veyshanti style, and many of the items that Veyshan is known for were on display. Among them were silks of pleasant quality, blades, and many other fine items those familiar would no doubt recognize. When the meal arrived, it arrived on several trays, which were shared by all. Included was a whole, stuffed chicken alongside several flavorful vegatables, spiced in a way that left the mouth watering.

The crowning achievement however, came after the meal when Merchant Tangisir had a tea service brought forward. He brought with him a sample of tlagi, a rare tea crafted from an even rarer desert flower. "My familiy had an usual crop this season. A little surplus," he said. "We thought perhaps, some in Alexandria would be interested." The tlagi is well-known in tea circles for its unique combination of flavors. It is said it carries all flavors, from the crisp sunrise of the desert morning to its heated sunset. A thousand poems have been made of its petals.

After this bombshell, we spent some time getting to know the ambassador and the merchants present. Tangisir it turns out, is from an aged, if quiet line. "We were content, and never saw the need to get out much," he admitted. Apparently it was Abba's urging that prompted the visit, and he says he intends to visit various friends and family among Alexandria's greater populace. It turns out that the young bronze has a few ties to Alexandria already. Once he gave his family name, the Tribune was able to locate at least three cousins among the populace.

Quiet during the meal was Jaidat. However, when second round of drinks came, they were served over ice--and Jaidat's enigamatic smile.

Ma Rosie's Celebration in Portraiture

Ma Rosie's, ever the <redacted> example of entertainment in Alexandria, is celebrating an anniversary of sorts. Frequent travelers and visitors will take note of its new look: streamers and silken flags cover the doorway. The flags, this reporter is told, are sewn from the pants and leggings of favorite dancers. Patrons have taken to signing them, or leaving notes for a favorite.

Ma Rosie tells me, informally, that this has become a competition among the dancers, to see who can gather the most signatures. This isn't why she brought me here, however. "It's my anniversary, you see," she tells me. Then, I am led to the center of the room. It's quiet at the moment (Ma Rosie's does most of their business in the evenings, and here it was early morning). At the center is a portrait of Ma, in her younger days.

"It was from my darling Jinks," she says. One can see the fondness from here, in the gentle sigh as she looks at her portrait. "He gave it to me this day...the scoundrel." Whether by 'scoundrel' she refers to Jinks fondly or not, it is impossible for this reporter to tell.

Swinging Beats

A young gobber was seen swing-hipping his way down the streets the other day. While this event appears to coincide with a record number of sales in bleach, he was heard singing a tune thus far unheard in Alexandria:

Baby it's hard
when you feel like
You're broken and scarred
Nothing feels right,
but when you're with me
I make you believe that
I've got the key

Despite the otherwise horror this reporter experienced at the performance, he has to admit it was a catchy tune. Onlookers offer assurances that the shout at the end, "ALL PRAISE THE GREAT, SEXY LADY BOOM-BOOM!" was not in fact, part of the original song. Still, it has not precluded some oruch from including it.

Tomias the Terror On the Loose!

Members of the Alexandrian City Guard, namely one Private first class Josselyn has been seen chasing a small child-like halfling that goes by the name of Tomias. While his crimes are fairly minor, they are also numerous and extremely upsetting. These crimes include, but are not limited to:

  • Stealing coins from the Temple Square Fountain
  • Teaching children profanities
  • Hiding under tables in busy taverns and stealing drinks
  • Falsely selling cough drops as candy
  • Surfing on a runaway hotdog cart
  • Extreme jaywalking
  • Throwing hand-files through the windows of the city prison
  • Other general disturbances of the peace.

If you see any suspicious activity please report it to the city guard and do not be fooled. While the perpetrator appears to be a human child, he is in fact a full grown halfling.

Tariday, Eatonis 22, 1018

Traders Arrive!

Heads stirred this evening when a number of diplomats from Veyshan arrived late yesterday evening. They arrived in the classic Veyshanti style, atop lean horses kissed by the desert sun. Ambassador Abbas rode to the fore, in his traditional thobe, topped with a sleeveless mantle for warmth. The arvek's face is familiar to many in Alexandria. His two companions, however, are not.

The Ambassador was pleased to introduce two new faces he said, he hopes will become regulars among Alexandrian trade discussions. The first was introduced as Merchant Tangisir, a bronze dragon of younger years. Merchant Tangisir seemed to delight in questions given to him, and though he was not seen astride the Veyshanti breed, he assured us it wasn ot due to the horses' strength, but more that "Well, I am a bit large, you know."

The third member of the delegation is Jaidat, whose thobe suggested an elemental bloodline. Of all three, Jaidat seemed the most reflective. According to Ambassador Abbas, the delegation is making its home in the Upper City for the time being, near Alexandria's noted library. It has been suggested they are here to address further trade, just in time for spring. Fortunately, they have opened the door to further interviews by the Tribune later on in the week.

Kesenday, Eatonis 18, 1018


Charges Pressed in Wake of Demonic Activity

In the wake of recent demonic activity in Alexandros, local merchant Jan'ros Teolwren faces prosecution on charges of collusion with the possessed.

Miss Teolwren, a half-sil merchant specialising in the import of magical items into the city, was arrested by the city watch as part of Operation Duskwall, the remit of which is to investigate possible entry points of illegal magic objects into Alexandria. Her clerk, Miss Inden, has issued no statement, instead answering 'no comment' to all questions about her employer.

A docksman, Mr 'Honourable' Georg, answered several questions from journalists outside Teolwren's office this morning. "She's innocent," claims Georg. "I don't doubt that for a minute. She's kind-hearted, and sweet. I'd trust her with my life." But the hysteria surrounding the demon possessions has reached even the courts, and bail was denied at a hearing yesterday.

Miss Teolwren, an aspiring city councillor despite her common background, faces trial in the city courthouse two weeks from today. Reserve your court seat today to be a part of this landmark trial.

((Have a story for the Tribune? If you have a delicious RP-generated rumor for the forces of JOURNALISM to spread all over town, send it in! Preface the +request title with Tribune: and put in the RPP bucket, and see your story in print! Also get an RPP for it!))


A Theory Half-Baked?

A new study out of the School of Bakery-Wizardry suggests that children who eat red velvet cupcakes versus other flavors, such as banana sprinkles, may have the edge when it comes to athletics. The comprehensive study took place over a few weeks, and was led by local nutritional expert Gorebaw Ngaio, who worked closely with the local Baker's Guild.

When quizzed about the results of the study, Gorebaw shrugged and said, "Everyone knew red ones make ya go faster. It was just a matter of puttin it ta tha test."

Gorebaw's well-known rival, Maa Rei, decried the study, suggesting his research may have been compromised through his ties to the guild, and that in regards to scientific accuracy, it has led him downwards the tart of darkness. To which he replied, "It's time for tha taming of tha strudel, is it?" and drew an axe. She drew a bigger one.

The two are set to duel next Variday.

Lady Sandiel Swings the Night Away at Ma Rosie's

The dancing troupe continued its tradition of performance excellence before an honored guest the other night, Lady Sandiel Arwenieniallwehn! Lady Sandiel's shop, the Lusty Moon, supplied the Veyshanti-style outfits for the evening. The dancers performed several numbers, including "Come and Get Your Love," which was sung to the guest of the evening.

In celebration, drinks were then given on the house, and a speech was asked for. Reports suggest the owner of the Moon declined, whereupon she was given the title of Lady Sandiel the Modest, and another toast held. She was reportedly accompanied by a human friend, known as 'Nobody.' Rumors suggest that 'Nobody' was female, which has only fueled the scandal and speculation which has followed Sandiel's matrimonial bliss with the Lady Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn.

((Have a story for the Tribune? If you have a delicious RP-generated rumor for the forces of JOURNALISM to spread all over town, send it in! Preface the +request title with Tribune: and put in the RPP bucket, and see your story in print! Also get an RPP for it!))

Variday, Pryntar 15, 1018


Rumors flit about town that a gnome tried to set up several notable adventurers with a bugbear, a troll, and an otyugh.

Needless to say, this did not work out.

Gnomes. Who needs 'em, right?

(Thanks toUneth, Durankar, Mila, Te'andra, Terewin, Wilros, and Serra for palying along! Feel free to ask them about their experience.)

Eliday, Pryntar 14, 1018

The Mountain Moves

An earth elemental has recently erupted from the ground on the mountain road.

Yes, really. Stranger things have happened. It appears to have gone back to sleep, though it is blocking significant amounts of traffic and peole are leerily making their way around it.

Needless to say, you can't really move the mountain unless it wants to be moved, given that it really is /huge/. The City Council has issued a declaration that people are to avoid it and not throw anything at it.

Because a few gnomes did.

Ceriday, Vhast 30, 1018

Alexandrian Tribune!

New Art Installation

by Featherwheel Grumblespring

Just recovered from supposed bombing, the Adventurers' Guild is back on its feet! What this reporter heard suggests its walls will not be bare for long.

Through sources, the Tribune uncovered news of a new art installation to be hungk. Whatever this installation will be, adventurers have reported spotting a number of gnomes were seen outside. One of them, a roundish, elderly fellow is said to have held a sketchbook in his hand. Passers-by report a sort of dazed look, but were unable to quite describe it, save, "It felt kinda...unsettling, ya know. And don't ya as hell quote me on that," is quoted one unquotable oruch, when quizzed about the situation.

Threads Threadbare

by Grummin Norebasher

Why tha hell I gotta write this. It's just about some dumb merchant bein' out of threads an' crap an' some "run on gold thread dat look sommat like an angel." Look, merchants run out of stuff all tha time. I'd rather hit stuff with sticks. Grummin out!

PS Stupid gnomes write stupid titles. Grummin write dis, he'd name it: Can't hit things with thread. Don't care! Send letter to editors. Tell them gnome dumb, Grummin write all titles!

Implosion at Progressive Arcanists' Dinner

by -- *
* Article redracted, and crossed out with multiple layers of black ink.

Eliday, Vhast 24, 1018

Strangeness at the Concert

A concert scheduled for today to celebrate the city's return to normalcy was marred by Alexandria's usual strangeness.

With members of the new Bardic College on stage and the crowd in the thrall of their performance, a great many people suddenly collapsed, falling into seizures shortly after airships that were part of the celebration laid down a fine dusting of some kind of glitter (really!) to add to the ambience said to be directed by bard Aldean, Abrahil, and Artificer Stirling.

With a great many clerics on hand from the Myrrish kingdoms, the stricken were taken and escorted back to the temples, where they are undergoing treatment and evaluation, though it is believed that it was a reaction to something in the air that befell many.

Meanwhile, several fires were said to've started across the city, though all were quickly dealt with.

Still, though, many believe that there was a darker undercurrent to all of this and whispers about demonic possession are filtering out from those said to be in the know, with sightings of demons in the shadows keeping many citizens on edge.

Ceriday, Vhast 23, 1018

Invitations go Out!

In Alexandria, a smallish fellow has stopped at a woman's doorstep. He's handed her a piece of stock paper, decorated in swooshes and flourishes--and at its centerpiece, a set of dashing performers! "Don't forget! Every invitation is COLLECTIBLE, you know! So if you missed out on one, do come to the concert! I hear there's a prize if you collect them all--but that's just a rumor..." says the little street deliveryman, who looks suspiciously round. His features are delighted, his whisper conspiratorial.

"Oh, how lovely! Why, they look so *brooding*," says the woman. "Oh, if I were seventeen again," she says. "...but I'm not seventeen am I, anymore? What are these little symbols on the side? They look...magical--"

"Oh! Oh my...why, that must be a printing error...oh! Oh, my dear! I hope to see you there! It will be a *MAGICKYL EVENING!*" he says, and dashes off, this little deliveryperson, before bopping off to her neighbor's.

The woman pauses at her doorstep, frowning. "...these eyes just seem to follow you wherever you go," she says, and as she closes the door.

Ceriday, Vhast 23, 1018

Oddness at the Temple of Angoron

Strangeness has occurred at the Angorite Temple. Despite secrecy, people have noticed that armed guards have been posted near a room in the temple, which has been heavily warded. Clearly, they have a guest they don't want disturbed.

Ceriday, Khael 12, 1017

Darkness on the Edge of Alexandria

Regular sightings of 'creatures with dark red eyes watching from the shadows' or 'foul smells' any number of other rumors are becoming common throughout much of Alexandria and its outlying districts. People are claiming to see any number of 'horrible monsters' just on the edge of their vision,... but so far, nothing has actually *come* of it. No attacks, no wounds, no nothing.

It's unsettling, to say the least.

Previous Arcs

News Archives - 1017 (Image forthcoming)

News Archives - 1016 (Image forthcoming)

News Archives - 1015 (Image forthcoming)

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