Genie Bride for Fiendish Eyes
Log Info
- Title: Genie Bride for Fiendish Eyes
- Emitter: Andelena
- Place: Temple of Daeus
'Rain, rain, go away.' The phrase is a thing sung by any children unlucky enough to be caught in the torrential storm that's blowing through Alexandria, enough to the point where a certain Sunguard and her Corona-husband have more or less taken up residence in the Temple of Daeus. While the storm is beginning to finally die down, it's going to be a little while longer before it's fully safe to go outside, and Andelena looks almost bored out of her skull, really.
"I need a hobby that isn't the forge," she grumbles. "Or sleeping with cats on the couch."
Andelena looks at Dolan. "At least when we were cooped up together here, I had wedding vows to memorize. Now we're married--we don't need a single thing like that, but it sure means I'm lacking for shit to do."
Of course, that's when the temple's door is pulled open by a cloaked form carrying a fully-opened gyroparasol to keep the rain off. With the cowl up it's hard to see who it is, but it's clear he's not exactly pleased with the weather, as he struggles to fold up the parasol while coming inside.
Finally clear of the relentless rainfall, Telamon pushes his hood back, his face damp from the wild spray. He fumbles inside his tunic, fishing out a handkerchief to mop the water off as he peers around with bright eyes. Catching the eyes of one of the acolytes on door-warden duty, Tel quips, "So, who left their water elemental parked outside?"
"I can think of a time when you'd've liked nothing better than to be cooped up inside with me all day," Dolan shoots back, grinning cheekily from ear to ear. The smell of herbs wreathes him where he's parked on the bed, clad in shirt, trousers, and leather brace cinched firmly down. "Maybe go out into the courtyard and play at swords? I could use the stretch, and it's been a while since we've sparred."
"Oh, that's the thing, babe--I'd love to be cooped up inside with you, but we can't do my other favorite hobby in the Temple," Andelena retorts with a wicked grin of her own. "A spar ain't a bad idea at all. But... Now that I'm thinking about it--"
Her words are interrupted when Telamon speaks up. Andelena looks at the sorcerer and gives him a little wave. "Oh! Starman! Damn, you got timing. I just remembered a bit of info I learned from the Guild job I was on right before all this funny business with the rain started happening. Both of you ought to know this, actually. Let's get a smaller room for privacy, yeah?"
Telamon blinks as he's addressed, and catches sight of Dolan and Andelena approaching. His gyroparasol finally closed, he gives it a good shake and a cantrip to strip the water off before stowing it in his haversack. Walking over to meet the couple, Tel gives a mock-sober expression. "Her light upon your path. A sorcerer is never late, nor is he or she early. We arrive precisely when we mean to." He can't keep it up, though, and the stolid look dissolves into a cheeky grin.
"But yes. If you've information about our 'recent unpleasantness', let's not tempt luck. Discretion is a good idea."
The walk out had done Dolan some good, and he grins cheekily at Telamon. "Brightest of days, Tel. Let's go back to the room, Andie, if we need to talk in private. We borrowed a cell when the rain started," he explains to the sorcerer, but leaves it at that. "You didn't tell me anything about your latest job, wouldn't mind hearing the story."
He gestures that the other two should follow him back into the direction of the residential barracks.
Once they're in a safe room, Andelena takes a seat. "So. I took a job. Escort a lady and her guard heading to her wedding, because there's some shitty little loverboy who keeps making the old, 'If I can't have you, nobody can' threat, because some motherfuckers are completely and totally off their fucking rockers like that, right?"
The Sunguard looks between them. "Yeah, it never fucking fails, I sign up for all the weird fucking jobs. So it turned out loverboy was an incubus. And it turned out the lady is a genie. Her father betrothed her to another fiend when this incubus was sent to 'tempt' her and... Well, he fell in love instead, because even fiends think stupid with their dicks sometimes."
She sighs. "Anyway. That fiend she was betrothed to and decided, 'fuck you dad, I'm gonna marry someone I actually want to marry'--take one fucking guess what his name is. One guess."
Telamon removes his cloak once they're back in closed quarters, hanging it up. His garments are practical as opposed to showy today, blue-gray in hue with reinforcement at the elbows and knees. Once that's done, he leans against the door and listens to Andelena's tale. And the story gets weirder the further in, his eyebrows rising up in that characteristic expression of surprise.
At Andie's question, though, his eyes glint. "...You cannot be serious. I didn't fall off the turnip wagon yesterday. Do you mean to tell me that this genie was betrothed to--" He pauses, and mentally changes the name he was going to use, "--Jackanapes?"
Dolan didn't fall off the turnip wagon yesterday, either. That was at least three days ago, and he'd parked himself on the bed again, listening to Andie's tale. "Marrying a fiend? Maybe as well I didn't go. I'd kill the damned lot."
When she falls off, and Telamon chimes in with his pet name, he snorts. "Jagoff. You're fucking joking, baby."
"I'm wishing I fucking fell off the turnip wagon, you two," Andelena says, looking weary with knowledge. "It's Jagoff. A genie girl was betrothed by her father to that asswipe. Between that and being pursued by an incubus--no wonder why she was fleeing. She actually had us going into the Mythwood to this sacred place specifically where no fiend could get her. I just hope whoever her new spouse is now isn't a total piece of shit, because after all of that, she deserves the best fucking person she can get.
She sighs. "Anyway. That means--Jal'goroth has some sort of dealings in the elemental planes. And I know fuck all about that stuff. So I guess we're hitting the books, because... Y'know, what if we go to that house and it turns out it spits us out into a different plane entirely? Not the Hells but somewhere else?"
GAME: Telamon rolls knowledge/the planes: (17)+16: 33
Telamon sighs. "It's not impossible. I started doing some research into the elemental planes for a project. And there are genies who would deal with fiends -- the shaitan and the efreeti are not averse to an agreement." He furrows his brow, considering Andie's worries.
"It could very well do so," he admits. "Gale's description of feeling momentarily disoriented could be a reaction to a translocation. The good news -- such as it is -- is that the elemental planes are no stranger to travelers from Ea. It wouldn't surprise me if the house has a 'counterpart', say, on the Plane of Fire. But it would be in what would be called a 'visitor's district'."
Dolan sits upright, his lone flesh and blood eye alight with triumph. "That gives us a lead on him!" he bursts out. "Good. I was wondering if that asswipe was gone for good. I've still got Magpie's - whatever it is. How do we get there?" The words tumble from him, quickly.
"It is a lead, babe, you're absolutely-fucking-right," Andelena says with a grin, going to put her hand on her husband's arm. "Planar travel like that, though--that's some high-falutin' shit."
She turns her steel-gray eyes onto Telamon. "But high-falutin' shit is what Starman here does. Say if, uh, Bry, you, and I wanted to go on a little planar excursion just to, oh, do some sightseeing or some shit. And by sightseeing I mean have a lookie-listen for Jal'goroth and some other fiends. If they're fucking around in the elemental planes and making deals there..."
The half-sil fixes Andelena with a stare in return. "Before you take that step, make sure you know where you might land. This genie... hm. I take it she didn't say where she was from? And of course, there's no guarantee that this house is on the same plane she was from." A pause, before Telamon continues, "But it wouldn't surprise me. Jackanapes would've wanted some kind of refuge, especially if he was cutting more... covert deals."
"And as powerful as fiends can be, there are some very powerful entities as well in the elemental planes, some of whom will not like fiends messing around in their pond. If Jackanapes manages to hack off some djinni pasha or elemental prince, he's going to have a bad time."
"Fuck all I know about the planar entities and their deals, Tel. The one time I went anywhere other than Quelynos, all I managed to accomplish was ending up in chains." A shudder ripples from Dolan's shoulders to his ankles at the memory of that, and Andelena's hand or not, he grabs the edge of the bed, staring at the floor as if in memory. "What do we need to do, Tel."
Andelena doesn't let Dolan alone for a moment. Her hand squeezes gently on his arm and she leans in to murmur, "It's okay, baby. If we're traipsing across planes again, I'm doing it with you. I may bitch and moan the whole time, but I'm not a fucking quitter." Be rude, as Dolan told her once.
She looks to Telamon. "You're the expert here, so the floor's kind of yours," she says. "Neither of us know jack-shit after all."
Telamon looks thoughtful for a moment, then says, "Emegar gete," holding out his hand, palm up. There's a shimmer of light there, that resolves into a softly glowing golden orb. "Let's call this Ea. Or, the Material Plane. Where we all go around trying not to make a mess of things."
The orb hovers upward, and four more orbs -- red, green, blue, and white -- appear, orbiting it. "These are the Elemental Planes. They, along with the Material Plane, circle endlessly in the Ethereal Plane, which serves as the broth in this cosmological stew. There's more, of course, but I don't think we need to cover any place we're not planning to go."
"It's not particularly -hard- to get to these planes -- they don't have the sheer inertia that an Outer Plane has -- but they can be hazardous to visit. The Plane of Air is the least dangerous, with the Planes of Earth and Water more so and -- unsurprisingly -- the Plane of Fire being the worst."
Dolan looks up, over at Andie, and shorts, but his grip loosens from the edge of the bed, and he reaches to lay his other hand on Andelena's, turning his attention to the illusion that Telamon has conjured. He watches with rapt intent. "So, where do we need to go, and how would we survive in a place like that?"
"Yeah, would we need to prepare protective spells or anything like that?" Andelena asks. "The Knight grants me something that can help me withstand some stuff, but it wasn't enough to withstand the fire elementals I went toe-to-toe with on that job in Am'shere I took a little while back."
She shakes her head. "In fact, if it ends up being the Plane of Fire, I'll warn all of you right now--those fucks are nasty. I'd rather not be on the business end of one ever again."
"There's a spell for planar adaptation that covers most of the bases -- breathing, environmental effects, and so on." Telamon makes a face. "Unfortunately, I don't know it. I can probably secure some scrolls though." He taps his chin. "That covers the hard part. Now the question is 'where are we going?'. Andie, what can you tell me about this genie girl? Her name, her appearance, anything. I need something before I can point us in the right direction."
"Baby, to get rid of that sack of season-old vomit, I'll follow him wherever I have to." The momentary memory seems to have passed, and there's a fire in Dolan's flesh-and-blood brown eye as he eyes the display before him. "Describe her, baby. What did she look like? Give every detail you can, no matter how small. Sometimes the smallest detail is the final clue. Remember the Wiswick case," he reminds her, turning towards her with a steady, warm gaze.
"Okay, so, she's short. Like a foot shorter than I am," Andelena says. "Tanned complexion, black hair, honestly beautiful. She didn't speak a word to us, though--she only signed to us, which I happen to understand handspeech, so, it worked out."
She thinks a moment more. "You know what--she was from the plane of fire. I only just now remembered. Damn. I'm gonna have to deal with more fire elemental fuckers, aren't I." Andelena now looks thoroughly like someone's shit in her cereal.
Telamon looks vaguely displeased as well, "Unsurprising. Fiends are bad, but I've read about the efreet of the Plane of Fire and they are just as accustomed to deal-making. A canny fiend could do well there, if they played their cards right and didn't rock the boat too much." He sighs. "You'll definitely need planar adaptation, then. They may have set up in a visitor's quarter -- remember, efreet love to make deals, and they love to collect attractive slaves. Can't do either if everyone involved is busy catching on fire but you. But let's err on the side of caution."
He exhales. "Alright then. The Plane of Fire. I suggest we go through the house, though -- if it was a portal to the Plane of Fire, then we know Gale and his mother were able to survive in the house on the other side." Tel grins. "I do not want you two getting in trouble on this trip. I'm accustomed to you being married. Means I have to fend off fewer inquiries about you from some old friends."
Dolan's flesh and blood eye narrows at Telamon. "What inquiries, Tel?" From his seat on the bed, he glances at Andie, then back at the mage. Anything I ought to know about?"
"Yeah, uh, what? What inquiries?" Andelena reacts almost owlishly. "First I'm fuckin' hearing of this. Unless you're referring to the whole--Jovani thing with the nice clothes and shit. That was fun."
She grins at Dolan. "Bry here looked very fucking fine in his outfit for Auranar and Verna's wedding, after all."
Telamon pauses, and has the good grace to look embarrassed. "Well... it dates back to my wedding, actually, Dolan. You may remember a couple friends of mine, Keriga and Jalrik, were there. And after that I got a few letters asking if you were... ah, available."
His eyes twinkle. "I did tell Keriga you'd earned your scars in battle with a fiend. That sort of thing... carries weight among the oruch clans in Dran. Honor. You would've been considered a prime catch if I hadn't headed things off, politely told them you were betrothed to a woman as tough as you are."
"You looked better, baby." Dolan relaxes, turning a sudden blooming grin on Andelena. He leans over and mutters something to her, very quietly, then straightens. "So what you're telling me is that if anything happens to Andie, I'll have an oruch woman trying to sit on me. Thanks, I like Andie in one piece." The cheeky grin has returned.
"Through the house sounds like it's our best bet. Do we know where it is?"
"If that happened, Bry, at least I know you'll die the way you lived--underneath a woman strong enough to pulp your head between her thighs." And with that, Andelena laughs way, way, way too hard. Tears of sheer joy and laughter bubble up in her eyes, and she goes to wrap her arm around Dolan in a very affectionate way.
It takes her a moment to recover. "Yeah--yeah, I know where it is. It's the house that belonged to one of my old suitors. Ahhh, shit, that was a good one." Andelena's brushing back tears away as she's grinning from ear to ear.
Telamon nods, grinning. "The Hamilton house. We're going to go in there, turn the place upside down -- whether it's on the Plane of Fire or here -- and find out everything we can. If things get tense, I can get us out as well." He looks fondly at the pair. "But I think we'll be fine, regardless. Prepare for whatever we need to, and be done with it. If we catch Jackanapes there... even better."
A bark of surprised laughter bursts from Dolan at Andelena's jab. "Ha! Are you telling me you want me on top this time?" he asks archly, returning that hug close with one of his own. His face near splits in half with that wicked grin. "Baby, we can save that for later. Let's plan." He does not, however, let go of Andelena's waist, instead turning his attention back to Telamon. "What do you need from us, Tel, to prepare the spells we'll be needing to survive? Anything special I should find or prepare?"
Telamon rubs his chin. "I'll get a couple scrolls scribed with the planar adaptation spell -- it's easier than trying to nail down whatever hazards we might face. Fire-aspected creatures are obviously not keen on cold attacks, but the nature of the plane tends to impede spells like that. The spell does confer some resistance to fire and heat, but it wouldn't hurt to have a backup plan."
"Ideally, we won't have to fight anything at all -- but I doubt we'll be that lucky. There's probably some kind of caretaker there that's going to complain about the uninvited guests."
"Let's plan for trouble but try to avoid it, then." Dolan listens carefully to what Telamon is saying, but nods decisively when he is done. "Good idea anyway. I'd rather Jagoff not realize we've got his trail, yeah? Our lives will be a whole wagonload easier if he ain't know we're coming."
"Let's just hope it's not a turnip wagon," Andelena quips, giving Dolan a little smile and then Telamon in turn. "This all sounds like a bright idea to me. Babe--you and I should probably hit the books and research a little on our own too. Not that I'm any good at rooting out shit like you are, but I don't think you've ever objected to moral support."