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“I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.”

– The Scarecrow, The Wizard of Oz

The Downlow

       Like the moaning Prince in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Burghuk was shackled to responsibility when he just wanted to....SING! Unfortunately, Oruch society doesn't work that way, and he has spent most of his life thralled to the clergy of various gods: first to Kosomoth the Manticore, then to Angoron the Behemoth. When a troupe of Tarienites and bards came through town, he knew he had found his calling, and absconded to the caravan by night. Since then, he's found his niche first as bodyguard, then as noble savage/strongman of their sideshow performances.


  • He's spent the last two years wandering with a pseudo-carnival troupe of bards and Tarienites. As such, he's been performing throughout Dran, Myrddion, and the Vast. Did you see him at one of his shows?
  • Having never had possessions of his own until two years ago, he gets a bit...grabby with colorful stuff. Want to sell him some finery?
  • As many followers of the Coyote, Burghuk has a jovial and mischievous sense of humor. Unfortunately for some more refined (and fragile) Alexandrians, his sense of humor tends more towards the Three Stooges than Aristophanes. Has he given you a Mythic Wedgie and you want revenge?
  • He carries a silver whistle around his neck that Only. Plays. One. Note. ...using it as a shrill form of beatboxing. Has he stepped on your last nerve?
  • He's an oruch, albeit a very odd one. Did orcs kill your family? Your drug dealer? Your mother's third cousin twice removed? Or have you always wanted to fight an orc and he looks like easy pickings? Try him out!
  • Are you an oruch and want to beat him up for being a terrible, dishonorable example of his race? Feel free!
  • While he isn't the sharpest dagger in the...whatever you put daggers in, he has an encyclopedic knowledge of theatrical makeup and weightlifting, and is always eager to learn more about bardic subjects. Wanna chat?
  • He's a bit of a manic pixie dream girl boy, doing stupid stuff as long as it's fun. Does your character need to be inspired to have a greater appreciation of life via cheesy rom-com scenarios?
  • While he tends to save much of his healing magic for the victims of his pranks, he *does* try to keep people in general from dying. Are you dying?
  • He can sometimes be seen riding a damn-near murderous gray mule by the name of Paisley the Weredragon. Do you have a strong opinion about poorly-trained (or poorly-named) farm animals?
  • He is absolutely terrible at being quiet, whether it's in voice (loud), clothing (loud saffron-and-red poncho covered in jangling metal rings), or demeanor (ADHD). Feel like having your sneaky-sneaky rudely interrupted?
  • Though having a face only an oruch mother could love and painting himself up like a clown, he seems to exude a certain force of personality that somehow sends him into the company of various women of Alexandria. Want some orcish armcandy?


  • Chloe - Ef you be wantin' to collic' engry gobbahs en your free tahm, zat's your feenk. But ya heal ones'r trahn t' skiwah muy agin, we ahn't freends.

Race: Oruch
Sub-Type: Great Orc
Class/Level: Cleric 3
Gender: Male
Deity: Tarien
Alignment: CG/CN
Role: Crowd Control - Reach
Associations: Broken Tusk Clan
Homeland: Bludgun
Skin: Gray-green
Hair: Black
Eyes: Dull Gold