Better Homes and Dungeons

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You stand outside what looks effectively like a hole in the side of a hill. It's nice and round hole, but the hill itself has seen better days, and the cold wind that gusts past you isn't enough to make it look inviting at all. Even so this is what you're here for so you have little choice but to head on inside (one of you at least being forced to duck down through the entryway). The hole expands downward a little into a warm and surprisingly welcoming dirt cavern where all of you can stand up properly. There is in fact a doorway before you. It's a sturdy looking piece of work, but green with some sort of slime covering it. It has no door handle, and is fitted to the shape of the dirt cavern perfectly.

Deak stoops down and looks inside. As he moves forward, he says, "Well, this is certainly no hobbit hole, is it?"

Darius raises an eyebrow as he's forced to crawl into the cave, "Lovely, a dungeon built for those who are shorter than normal..." When he can stand up he again raises an eyebrow, "Charming, a dirt floor and a slimy door, now all we need is haunting music playing and a power mad evil wizard launching monologues to complete the effect."

Walery looks around, and he says, "You know, this is always how I imagined the Lucht lived. Little holes in the ground and all."

Having ridden Dog the riding dog - never has Bitr been accused of having a great naming sense - the world's smallest giant squints into the gloom of the cave, her small, scarred face mouing with thought. And then splitting into a toothy grin, even as she leaps off the pile of dirty white fur. Honestly, it'd be difficult to tell which end is the face, save for the occasional appearance of a long pink tongue.

"HO! Mine eyes have found a door; There to GLORY and shinies, thinks mine head!" She barks with her archaic, badly worded Tradespeak with far too much energy, tiny fists on hips and oversized, broken sword on back. Then glancing aside to the others, snorting. "Pfah. Yon tiny fools are good only for mead, says mine lips!"

Xasany huffs, giving herself a shake as she ducks into the hole. "Brrr. Winter is coming soon, I fear. Glad I broke out the boots and stockings today. And my cloak." She pulls her hood down to fush a little with her hair. Looking to Deak, the green-haired woman snorts. "I don't know. How many holes of hobbits have you seen?" The giant's comment has the Gnome raising her eyebrows. "Sorry, there's a normal height? I think you might have arguments from Orcs and Giantborn, and Goblins, Gnomes and Lucht. At least some of those will have pointy objects to argue with." Bitr is simply stared at for a few moments. "Tiny. Fools. Perhaps we are all fools for being here today, but watch who you're calling tiny." The Witch shakes her fist and then looks to the door. "Well, if I am tiny... perhaps one of our giants can bash down the door?"

Shara is here....humming a merry tune....until she sees everyone with a dour expression. "Oh come on. You're exploring a new dungeon. cheer up!"

Darius stares at Bitr and then rolls his eyes, "Lord save us from halflings with delusions of grandeur." He glances at Xasany and says, "Perhaps someone should check it for traps first? This IS supposed to be a dungeon after all. Traps would be part of one, wouldn't they?" He then makes a face at Shara and says, "Fun is a relative term."

Walery says to Xasany, "I hadn't seen any, til I came to Alexandria. I meant that's what I thought before I came to Alexandria." Bitr draws a worried cringe from him, he'll let her go ahead of him. She seems eager. That worries him. As far as giants go, he'll defer to Darius and Deak.

Deak pays little heed to the chiding banter. Instead the holy man looks around in fascinated silence.

Bitr the Lucht Suil - although no one tell her - glances aside to the larger gnome with a loud guffaw! "Ho! Do not worry thine tiny form! Mine steps are careful, and ye will not be crushed beneath mine mighty tread!" And then her head turns further back, giving Shara an encouragingly mad toothy grin. Finally she curls a bicep, putting calloused but small hand upon the bunched muscle as she stalks forward. "Halfling? Pfah! Check thine eyes, for here stands BITR the MIGHTY! Keep ye behind me then, small ones, and mine courage be thy shield! Forward!"

Yes, she is walking up to the slimey door. Eyes and ears open, perhaps, but stalking forward nonetheless!

GAME: Deak rolls Perception: (19)+6: 25
GAME: Bitr rolls perception: (2)+9: 11
GAME: Darius rolls perception: (17)+3: 20
GAME: Xasany rolls Perception: (6)+4: 10
GAME: Shara rolls perception: (2)+9: 11

Deak mutters a minor orison as he looks around.

GAME: Deak casts Detect Magic. Caster Level: 5 DC: 13
GAME: Walery rolls perception: (12)+8: 20

"How do you know it is new?", Xasany asks of Shara. To Walery, she shrugs. "It's a round hole in a hill. This doesn't make it a hobbit hole. Which, by the way, sounds quite crude when you ponder it." She stares at Bitr again, and shakes her head. "You're shorter than I am! Not counting your, er, steed, that is." She rubs at her face a moment, and looks to the door again. "Well, unless someone knows the secret knock..."

GAME: Darius rolls strength: (10)+4: 14

Deak says, "The secret knock? How about we try the handle?" Then as Darius tries to kick it down, he steps back.

Darius steps up and says, "Knocking now..." and with that, kicks the door hard in the general area where the handle is.

Walery will step back away and haul out his death ray. "Well, now whoever's there knows we're coming," he says dryly. Clearly he expects them to be unhappy about this.

Before Bitr can do more than act as trap bait, the human's walking forward to kick at the door. The world's tiniest giant glances up at him, frowning darkly. "That is not how thy form uses doors! Thy hands are used to open, small as they be!" And then a glance towards Xasany, and a chuckle. "Bitr is still in mine growth! Soon, mine head shall brush the clouds, and mine beard tickle the earth that trembles beneath mine steps!" She rubs her scarred but otherwise hairless chin with a pleased expression.

"Hello?" There's a small voice from the other side of the doorway, and then a rattle as the door slowly opens - outward - and the there's a kabold standing there looking at you very confused. <draconic>

Shara says, "huh. Something smaller than us." Shara says with a smile. "Hey." She speaks in draconic. "You live here"

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'Shave and a haircut... two pence.' kind of secret knock.", the green-haired Witch says, snorting at Darius. "But the bootheel salute works too." To Walery, she shrugs again. "Any way we open this door, whomever is on the other side will know. Simply opening the door quietly would still introduce drafts..." She blinks and stares at Bitr again. "Pfft, only if you're getting a griffon for a mount will your shoulders brush the clouds... and you're a girl. Your beard is... not a thing."

Then the kobold opens the door. Xasany smiles at them a moment or two. "Girlguides. Can we interest you in some cookies?", she asks in Draconic.

Walery has no idea what is going on at this point, and has lost track of why we're here. "Do I shoot now?" he asks.

Darius narrows his eyes at the kobold but shrugs at Walery, "How should I know? I don't speak their language."

States Bitr quite firmly to Xasany, with a bright and toothy smile. And then? The door opens! She spins about on her heel, pausing for a moment as Shara and the green haired lady caper on in some foreign devil language. Squinting with a single eye as she hrms. "Smaller than mine head thought the first dragon would be." Walery shrugs back to Darius, also lost. "Speaka da Tradespeak?" he asks the kobold. Which might sound more normal from someone not casually holding a gleaming death ray.

Deak shakes his head and looks around at his companions. "Who are we? Shoot first and ask questions later? Really? Excuse me." He walks to the door and says to the kobold, "Excuse my boldness, good sir. We are here from the popular magazine Better Home and Dungeons to judge whether to award our prestigious annual prize to you for having the most interesting dungeon home among our finalists. May we interview you? You are the owner, I presume?" Then he thinks for a moment and adds, "The grand prize is a lifetime subscription and an all-expense paid private date with Lady Sandiel."

Bitr leans aside a bit, to nudge Darius with her elbow. ".. What is a Lady Sandiel?"

GAME: Deak rolls Diplomacy: (18)+11: 29
GAME: Xasany rolls diplomacy: (19)+2: 21

"Was your father a giant, also?", Xasany asks of Bitr, turning to regard the woman with a quirked eyebrow. "Most women, from most races, don't grow enough facial hair to fill out what could be considered five o'clock shadows, let alone a full beard. But... I do suppose that stranger things have happened." She looks over her shoulder at the others. "No, don't be shooting anything just yet. Maybe we can try talking our wa..." The Gnome stares at Deak. "I.. he... well, I suppose we're Homes and Dungeons now. Also, from what I have heard, Lady Sandiel will end your life for this insult, sir. Not that I care, but uhm, should keep that quiet I would think.

Darius blinks at Deak, just, blinks. Is he really going to act like a door-to-door salesperson? He's distracted from Deak's chutzpah by Bitr's question and says, "She's well known in Alexandria, although I believe she has a wife though..."

GAME: Shara rolls diplomacy: (2)+3: 5

"Hm? Of course mine father was a giant! Ho, what silly thoughts ring in that tiny head of yours."

Chuckles Bitr at Xasany, drawing her dimunitive form up proudly. "The bones of mine fathers father, and his father, and his father, the line to the beginning of the giants lay within the mountain side!" A sagely nod. Then a glance to Darius. ".. Ho! Sandy! Yes. Also mine wife." Another sagely nod, before a moue. ".. So mine head thinks. Maybe. These are strange warmland customs."

GAME: Shara rolls perform/sing: (19)+10: 29

Walery mutters to himself at Bitr's question, "It's elvish for Dragons Go Around The Other Way. She's /all/ we need now."

For a second it looks like the kobold is going to run. Apparently it's smart enough to speak Tradespeak and know when someone is possibly going to shoot it. Yet when Deak, Xasany, and Shara speak up... The kabold's eyes get wide. "Really?! I never thought that /we/ would get picked by Better Homes and Dungeons!" It glances back at the rest of the party in a moment of confusion then steps aside. "Come in, come in! Guys! We might win a life-time subscription to Better Homes and Dungeons! And a date with Sandy!"

Inside the room are half a dozen other kabolds playing a game of what looks like canasta. They seem surprised but their faces light up with joy at the thought of winning. The room itself is not that spectacular. Just a few stools and a table for their game. "Really!" They're talking all at once with one another over their good luck. There's another door beyond them, closed.

"And she is rumoured to be rather murderous when angered. And half undead, if the stories be true. Which, given Alexandros' history, could very well be.", Xasany says to Darius, and Bitr. "Er. I very much doubt you are married to Lady Sandiel. You don't seem like the type... to marry." The Gnome snorts and nods to Walery. "Dragons Cross the Street to Avoid HER at All Costs. Charn Would Rather Give Up Slavery than Fight Her."

The Kobold's reaction has Xasany slapping her forehead with her hand. "Well. A crew of Kobolds playing cards..." She huffs out a breath and moves to slip inside the small room, where she doffs her Typical Witch's Hat. "So, then, mind if we look around?", she deadpans. "And it looks like you're winning.", Xas says to one of the kobolds playing cards. "Are you betting on this hand?"

Walery will, when it looks like this is not going to be a shooting type of thing, will shoulder his death ray and attempt to look casual. He's just here to, you know, help. Somehow. He has no idea how. What constitutes evaluating a dungeon anyhow?

Deak steps forward and looks appraisingly at the furnishings and smiles, "Oh, that's quite lovely. Excuse me. Who is the owner of this fine home? We need it for the judging forms, you know. And, will one of you kindly show us around the premises?"

Darius shakes his head, "She sent me to a maze one time, I have NO desire to end there again... or worse." He steps into the kobold's area and tries to appear to be looking around like a reviewer would while itching to draw his sword and remove some kobold heads.

".. Hm."

Well, that worked. Giving the three who spoke in hazardous foreign jibber jabber a long look, the tiny Bitr marches proudly forward, her grin blazing like a bear trap. Sharp and pointy. She's even swinging her legs wide, as if to make sure her steps are as large as possible, the hilt of her oversized broken sword poking up over her shoulder. Never one to take a long look at supposed good luck! .. Or any long looks at all! "What an out chamber! Spacious! Ho, fear not, mine head will be careful to not dislodge thy materials above!" She points upwards, to the roof built for kobolds. That her head is nowhere near. Before glancing aside to the gnome, thoughtfully. "Mm? No, that sounds like mine wife. We had danced! And many small souls were entranced by our dance, ho! They shouted and fled, screaming never had they seen such destruction wrought at a ball. Ho, yes. Though they had no proper ale for quaffing, pfah! What use is shinies without getting proper drunk?"

Xasany lets Deak carry the work of further bluffs, and looks to Darius. "Ah, yes. That's one of the least worst things she does, though. She has far worse fates for those who cross her. I mean, she did introduce the now-common shopkeeping trick of putting a tea-house INSIDE another tea-house. Devious, that one is." The Gnome looks to Bitr once more, and shakes her head. "Your wife.", she says with a sigh. "You are right though, most places here do not have proper ale."

The kabolds seem to have little interest in their game now. They gather together in a little pack and whisper excitedly in draconic to one another. They seem to have a little squabble before one of them is shoved forward toward the group of you. "Um... It's... my? Dungeon?" It seems uncertain of this, but motions around a little bit. "As you can see we have dirt walls, and a comfortable area to sit around in." The kabold points to the stools and table. "And another door! It leads... well you can see. If you like? In fact you're welcome to look around! You don't need /us/ for that right?"

Walery grows quickly suspicious of doors the kobolds don't want to go through. "Oh, it's fine," he says. "Though if you have a hint of what's on the other side, so we can properly catalog it," he manages clumsily.

Deak smiles warmly and stoops to the kobold like he would to a child then hands a blue rose to the kobold that was thrust forward at him. He says, "Thank you, kind sir. You are most gracious." He rises again and clears his throat. "Come along, committee. Let us explore and evaluate the remainder of this lovely home. I'm sure our readers will be positively dee-LIGHTed." He heads for the other door.

"Sitting! In chairs! Wondrous." Barks Bitr in laughter, doing her best to support her fellow - uh, Magazine Editors - in their trickery. "What dungeon thinks of such things? Ho, none, says Bitr! Always the standing or laying upon the ground, never a chair!" A sagely nod, the small figure turning towards the proffered door while Walery does the smart thing to see what else lay in store.

"Ho, yes. What else lay in wait? Beasts of ancient lore? Blood soaked skeletons?" A gasp, as she bites at her knuckle - can anyone even act this good, or is she honestly excited by the idea of horrors from beyond? "Or - by mine father's bones! - a flay skinned sack what sucks the marrow from thine bones?! Ho, glory be!"

"Delighted is certainly a word that could be used." Xasany grins to the Kobolds, and thanks them in Draconic. "Well, thank you for this lovely introduction to your home. Perhaps one of you would like to come and show us all the traps beforehand? It'd not do to kill off the commmittee before the review is completed." She glances back to Deak. "It'd be the wrong word, but it is a word." She pauses again to stare at Bitr. "You do realize that we are all blood-soaked skeletons, right? Just more ambulatory than the dead kind."

"Pfah! Bitr the Mighty be a giant among giants! No skeleton here, thy strange and fey mind. Ha!" States the tiniest member of the party towards Xasany, but her gaze turns ever still towards the mysterious door; Past which ADVENTURE and GOLD and GLORY await. Or at the very least, a chance to bite things!

Walery looks puzzled at blood-soaked skeletons. Then ohs. "The fact that we're not animated by an evil priest does have a bit to do with things also," he says, perhaps a bit self-righteously.

The kabold seems delighted to be given a rose, and lifts a hand toward Deak as he begins to walk away. "Wait! I mean... that is." It looks toward it's fellows. It seems to gain a little courage and nods to those members that are requesting more information. "It's just a locked door and a really interesting room! We stay out of it though... Because those that go in don't usually come back out." He looks a little miserable. The door isn't locked so it's quite easy to get inside.

Deak asks. "And just how long has it been since a guest has taken that one-way trip?"

"Just last week Bobrick went in because he thought there must be treasure! We haven't seen him since." The kabold seems happy to be able to help. "Surely that kind of mystery must be worthy of your prize!"

"Aww. Well, I suppose if perhaps you would just tell us to expect, you wouldn't have to come with us, right?" Xasany wonders. "Oh, I suppose you mean, it's usually locked?" She straightens and nods at Walery, "Yes, that too. But usually the undead kind are not so bloody." The Gnome shrugs. She peers at Bitr and shakes her head. "You have a skeleton inside you. It's how you are able to move around, and stand, even." She nods then at Deak's question. "Oh surely. You mean, you don't know what's in here?"

Deak says, "I'm sure we'll be only too eager to see for ourselves." He opens the door and looks ahead.


"Mind thy tongue, no dread mancer's boney minion lays within me! Only the blood of mine fathers, and the bones of mine fathers!"

Completely missing the point - and good luck sharpening your wit on the uneducated stone of stubbornness! - Bitr nods sagely to the kobolds, and tosses off another flash of teeth. "They and myself must see how many come back alive, ho! That is the true measure of the traps beyond!" And then - since Deak is moving ahead - Bitr decides to squeeze her head in there too and take a looksie loo.

GAME: Bitr rolls perception: (12)+9: 21

Walery is sort of lost now, and is just trying to work out what's going on as things go by. The silly has gone right past his ability to keep track of what's going on.

It seems like a perfectly ordinary if interesting room on the other side. The room is filled with a dust-covered table and shelves, as well as a tall dust-covered mirror in one corner. Opposite it is a big cage with a birds skeleton in it. There's a little chest in one corner, but other than another door across from the one you just opened there's not much there.

GAME: Xasany rolls survival: (17)+2: 19
GAME: Bitr rolls survival: (16)+7: 23

Deak looks in and says, nodding. "Spacious, yes, but I don't know. The bird skepeton is a little kitchy. And hey, I can't see where Bobrick's footsteps disturbed the pristine blanket of dust." He turns to the kobolds and asks, "Are you sure none of you went in there to fix the dust layer after Bobrick undoubtedly scuffed it up? Oh, and I absooutely swear, that mirror looks magical. Even that kitchy birdcage looks magical, too." He shakes his head, "So much to write about."

Xasany waits for the others to peer inside the room and make some sort of pronouncement. "So uh, what do you see, then? Is the room safe?" She pushes forward, peering over Bitr's head. She squints and looks around the room. "Hmm. So he went in to the chest there... and then walked to the mirror. And his tracks end there."

Walery will follow along warily. Nervous, but determined to follow the others. Why would we get sent to a dungeon anyhow? Wouldn't we /expect/ to be attacked? Well, he's expecting it. But no one else is, so he plays along for now.

Deak says, "Well, I wouldn't dream of visiting such a welcoming home without leaving a blessing upon it." He offers a Blessing, yes, but on the party, not the 'home'.

Darius has been exercising as much patience with this whole thing as he has because this is getting both boring and absurd. With very little to do save appear to be a bodyguard is wearying him, why didn't the kobolds become hostile, no thanks to the diplomacy of Deak, Shara and Xasany.

GAME: Deak casts Bless. Caster Level: 5 DC: 14

That bright, fierce smile fades briefly from Bitr's face, before Xasany decides to lean over her smaller figure. The barbarian pfahs, but doesn't complain save to move forward into the room proper. Bouncing on the balls of her bare feet as she grins back towards Xasany. "'Tis true! Thy tiny eyes see well for such a small woman." And then the even tinier halfling is walking boldly towards the chest. Although she does step aside, rolling her shoulders as she draws that huge, broken sword out from over her shoulder. And - pokes the chest. Poke poke.

Nothing jumps out of the room, nor the little chest that Bitr pokes. The kabolds remain far away from everything cautiously. "No. Nobody but you's been in there since Bobrick."

Xasany nods to Deak when he begins with his blessing. "Ah, a most generous gift.", she intones. She looks to Walery and Darius, grinning brightly. "I do believe your patience will be rewarded. If I am not missing my guess, the mirror is probably a portal of some kind. To where? Who knows! Who wants to go first?" Her eyes flick to Bitr. "Small. Woman. Kettle? It's the pot. You're black." The Gnome huffs and watches Deak and Bitr do their inspection.

Deak reaches up an opens the side door on the birdcage, then reaches inside and grabs a key.

"Ha! Fools to you, little woman, mine name is not Black - but BITR!" A bark of laughter as the chest resolutely fails to explode, before Bitr's natural inclination leads her to - well, try to open the thing. "Bitr the Mighty! The ground quakes beneath mine mighty tread!"

"First to adventure and glory? Ho! There I'll be then!"

Darius almost sighs disappointed when the chest doesn't do anything exciting, like eat Bitr or turn into a Mimic, and right now he wishes it would eat the deluded halfling.

The chest is unfortunately full of clothing and personal belongings. A straight-razor for shaving with. A few wooden bowls. A pair of fancy worn slippers.

Deak says, "Maybe this key will open that chest," but when the mundane contents of the chest are revealed, he amends, "or maybe it operates the magic mirror?"

-And now Bitr has a pair of fancy worn slippers on her bare feet. She considers them carefully, before nodding to the covered mirror. "Ho, yes! Let us see what lay beyond!"

The green-haired Witch's eyes widen, enough to show that they're a bit bloodshot, and she snorts at Bitr. "Little woman me again and I'mma going to turn you intoaFROGandletfilthylittleBOYSplaywithyou!" She huffs and runs a hand through her hair, and follows up with a stomp of a little booted foot. She blinks at Deak, and then Bitr. "Perhaps all you need do is look at yourself in the mirror?"

Deak walks over to the mirror, holds up the key as if showing it to the looking glass and smiles like he's posing for a photo.

The mirror does not respond in any way other than showing Deak a rather dusty reflection of himself.

"What ho? A chance to test mine strength against foes larger than myself - and as a -frog-?" Begins Bitr with something approaching toothy glee, before she catches herself as Deak poses in front of the mirror. She considers the dusty reflection for a moment, before - naturally - going to look -behind- the mirror..

Xasany grits her teeth and rubs at her forehead. "Perhaps if you dusted off the mirror so it could have a better look at you?"

Darius snorts and pipes up, "Or we could just smash it and see what happens then."

As Bitr leans forward to look behind the mirror her hand touches the surface of it. There's nothing behind the mirror of course, but the glass surface starts to slide up her fingers. Then up her hand. It feels cool to the touch, and it's slowly pulling her in…

Bitr's exploration behind the mirror is halted by the sudden cool sensation on her hand. Annoyed, she stops leaning around it - and blinks at her fingers. She might seem like a crazy little such and such, but the sudden toothy grin that crosses her features only confirms it. Even as she tries to draw her hand back -out- again.

"Ho! Mystery solved!"

Deak lowers the key and scrutinizes the mirror with his eyes now instead of flashing his pearly whites at it.

"Oh. Oh dear. Hmm." Xasany steps forward to peer at Bitr's hand. "So, good job in finding out how it works. Uhm. Do you want to go in? We could follow in behind. Or we could just smash it and never discover what happened to Bob."

Darius reaches down, grabs Bitr by the seat of her pants and says, "I vote for the GIANT first!" and tries to toss her into the mirror.

GAME: Darius rolls strength: (2)+4: 6

Walery is still trying to work out what's going on. Is it halfling tossing time? He looks at Xasany. But Deak can throw her if the issue comes up.

The mirror is a little more than halfway up Bitr's arm now, and pulling her into itself quite firmly. As if it's eating her.

GAME: Darius rolls strength: (15)+4: 19

Darius can't get a good grip at first and says, "As I said! GIANTS FIRST!" and this time manages to pick her up and fastball specials her right into the mirror and calls out, "Have a nice trip! See you next fall!" Yep, Darius has had enough of Bitr, The Giant of Giant Midgets!

Xasany eyes Darius a moment. "Careful that you don't throw your back out. Lift with your legs." She blinks at Bitr, and then Darius. "You really are a jerk. Remind me to turn you into a frog later." The Gnome waits for a moment, and moves to step into the mirror after Bitr.

Walery eyes Darius, and now Xasany is getting through without being thrown. Well, this is looking easier. We should be getting out of here soon, then?

Deak watches Darius and Bitr and says, "Um, uh..." He shrugs then offers a weak, "Be... uh, careful?" He glances around the room in case an army of ewoks has chosen this moment to invade the room from somewhere other than the mirror where everyone's attention is fixated.

Shara simply stares as the events unfold and....while GLARING at Darius.....steps through the mirror right after Xasany....

Going into the mirror is like walking through a blizzard on a bad day. Darkness permeates everything, cold chills your bones. Then suddenly you're stumbling, gasping cold air into a new room. There's a door behind you (suggesting that there might have been an easier way here) and a big bear-like creature staring at you dumbly. Clearly it wasn't expecting a bunch of people to come tumbling out of thin air in front of it.

GAME: Walery activates his Titan Armor, gaining: +4 Dex
GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+10: (6)+10: 16
GAME: Walery rolls 2d6+5: (7)+5: 12

Walery backs up, but there's no back to go to. It'd be unfair to say he was expecting this, but clearly he was expecting something because his targeting reticle and Titan armor are slipping into place, and he's drawing a bead with his death ray even before he's really clear on what he's shooting. But it's big and scary and he pulls the trigger, and a bolt of raw fire shoots out to drill right into its eye, where the thing seems unhappy about it.

GAME: Darius rolls weapon1+1+1+2: (9)+9+1+1+2: 22

Shara turns around to see the wall there....and the bugbear. "Well...this is going to be pleasent." She says before she starts to hum a merry tune. Everyone with her should feel a bit more courageous....at least.

GAME: Darius rolls damage1+1+2: aliased to 2D6+6+1+2: (8)+6+1+2: 17

Darius gets a huge grin on his face, "Oh yeah... FINALLY! Something to KILL!!!!" and which he proceeds to do so by charging the owlbear and stabbing it right through it's still good eye and out through the back of it's head.

Xasany squeaks at the sudden change in temperature, and pulls her cloak tightly around her. "Bitr?", she asks, her voice just above conversational level. "Are you here? Hello? Anyone else?" The bright light of Walery's death ray causes her to squint. "Er. Did you have to do that?" The Gnome sighs as the poor thing falls to the ground, dead. "Well. I hope you're proud of yourselves."

Deak shrugs at the dead bugbear and turns to face the door. He reaches to open it by the handle (if it has one).

Shara sighs a bit. "Not everything is here to be killed Darius." She then looks about. "Is Bitr even in here?"

Walery is actually quite proud of himself, and he nods to Xasany. He then looks for Bitr, who may be lost if the snow is over her head.

Darius snorts at Xasany and says, "What, were you going to invite the thing to dinner... with US as the guests of honor??" He gives her a look of complete disdain and then when Shara talks to him he replies, "No, but that felt good..." He flicks the bugbear blood and gore off of his greatsword, letting it splatter against the wall and floor.

Bitr is indeed in the room though she is perhaps so big (tiny) that you perhaps failed to notice her. She's right there though. The door that Deak tries is locked tight, and no amount of jiggling the handle moves it. There is another door across the room though.

Deak says, "Darius, will that sword of yours get this door open?"

Xasany tilts her head to Darius and sighs. "Do you not understand how dungeons work? Not everything needs to be slaughtered at the drop of a hat. What if there were clues? What if Bitr had been eating up by it and you running your sword through the beast also finished her off? All I ask is that you THINK FIRST before running it through." She looks to Bitr and goes to her side. "I hope you're alright.." She glances at Deak, and then Darius. "QUICK KILL THE DOOR IT'S THE ONLY WAY!"

Shara says, "I pity you, if there was ever a need for diplomacy, Human." She says at Darius before actually laughing at Xasany's outburst. "That was funny!"

Darius simply raises an eyebrow at both Xasany and Shara and says, "And what will you do when your diplomacy fails you, use harsh language?" He shrugs, "I have no illusions of who and what I am and what I do, I happen to be good at it, and you'll be glad for it too once you talk to the wrong creature and it tries to kill you." With that he turns and heads over to Deak and says, "I'll try 'knocking' once more..." And attempts to kick the door that Deak was trying to open.

GAME: Darius rolls strength: (20)+4: 24

The door doesn't even shudder under Darius's attack. It just remains there impassively.

Deak smirks then tries the key from the birdcage.

Without complaint the door opens to the key, into the room you were just in a few seconds ago. Now the door that leads to the kabolds is closed again. As if they closed it when realizing that you weren't coming out.

Xasany raises an eyebrow back at Darius. "I am not doubting your ability, simply the application of such. It might not have been violent or aggressive, but you didn't bother to give it an opportunity. Not everything in the dungeon will be as it seems." She hmms at his kick to the door. "Truely, a solid opponent. What now? Perhaps something other than violence...?"

Deak looks back into the dusty room and smiles. He says, "Well, we know where that one goes. What about yonder door?" Then adds. "Thanks for the valiant try, Giantchucker. I'll buy your drinks and see what I can do about finding you some suitable companionship when we get back." He grins.

Darius frowns as the door doesn't even budge even from his strongest kick, most normal doors would have splintered in pieces. He gathers himself and says to Xasany, "Again, you'll be happy for my bloodthirstiness when you encounter something that doesn't want to talk or isn't interested in anything but trying to eat you." He then nods to Deak and says, "I tried at least."

Xasany pffts and shakes her head. "I'm a swamp hag. I know that there are some beasties that are best seen off to their makers as soon as possible. As I said... I do not doubt your ability, simply its application. Just as when your actions start a war in which many are killed, you might wish you'd opened your lips instead of drawing your sword." She shrugs and looks ot the other door. "So, does the key work in the other door?"

Deak strolls casually to the other door saying, "I don't know" in answer to the gnome's question. He tries the handle first, then the key if that doesn't work.

Shara says, "Some only know war, Xasany. They can only be steered from that path when wish to turn away from bloodshed...""

It's a big hallway that Deak opens up to. On either side of this hallway are two massive skeletal figures. As soon as the door opens they start to move, limbs slowly awakening and heading straight toward Deak…

Darius reaches out to pull Deak back, "Let's not let you get hurt, if you go down, we may not be able to escape and moves out in front.

"See? Now these two are ones who are not to be bargained with. These have indicated some ill intention towards our fair cleric." Xasany says, pointing at the two skeletons that cannot be missed.

GAME: Walery activates his Titan Armor, gaining: +4 Dex
GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+10: (4)+10: 14
GAME: Walery rolls 2d6+5: (11)+5: 16

Walery says dryly, "I think these fellows will not be listening to your clever arguments, either." As he's saying this, he'a activating his titan armor and shouldering his death ray. He draws a bead, flips the selector to FIRE, and triggers it. A spurt of raw fiery material squirts out, almost, leaping and splattering over the animated bones.

Humming another tune as she spots the skeletons, Shara does start to draw an arrow, but she's more focused on the song for her friends....

GAME: Darius rolls weapon1+2: (3)+9+2: 14
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (17)+2: 19
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (11)+2: 13
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (4)+2: 6
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (17)+2: 19
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d4+2: (2)+2: 4

The skeletal guardians move in unison, attacking mindlessly those that dared to enter his room. One attacks Deak, the other Darius. The one that attacks Deak manages to scratch him with its bony fingers.

GAME: Xasany casts Burning Hands. Caster Level: 4 DC: 15
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (10)+2: 12
GAME: Xasany rolls 4d4: (8): 8
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (10)+2: 12
GAME: Deak spends ONE use of CHANNEL ENERGY.
GAME: Deak rolls 3d6: (12): 12

As people move forward to deal with the skeles, the Witch stays out of the way for the first bit. As blows are struck, she crouches and moves forward, putting her hands together to form a fan with her outstretched fingertips. She mutters a few skittery words under her breath, and a great gout of fire catches the skeleton on the left in the shinbone. Which promptly catches fire.

GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+11: (20)+11: 31

Then immediately afterwards, Deak rests his hand upon the enameled blue rose upon his breastplate and concentrates. A flash of holiness bursts from him, neutralizing a portion of the death energy that animates these giant bones.

GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+11: (11)+11: 22
GAME: Walery rolls 3d6+10: (15)+10: 25

Walery draws a bead again and fires, hitting it square in the chest with another bolt of fire, which starts smouldering as it burns into the bone before being consumed. He looks a bit worried, since it's taking a lot of damage and the other one's not hurt yet, but he's cycling the action on his death ray without hesitation to prepare his next shot.

GAME: Shara rolls weapon1+1: (17)+7+1: 25
GAME: Shara rolls 1d6+2: (2)+2: 4
GAME: Darius rolls weapon1+2+1: (13)+9+2+1: 25
GAME: Darius rolls damage1+2+1: aliased to 2D6+6+2+1: (4)+6+2+1: 13

Shara continues to sing as she tugs back on her bow, and lets the arrow go...to hit the skeleton that Darius and the rest are concentrating on....

This time, Darius doesn't actually miss his swing, hitting it in the torso with the flat of his blade to do more damage.

GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (1)+2: 3 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (19)+2: 21
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (5)+2: 7
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (2)+2: 4
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d4+2: (1)+2: 3

The skeletons in spite of their injuries keep attacking. This time the one that is attacking Darius lands a hit while the one attacking Deak fails to land one.

GAME: Xasany casts Web. Caster Level: 4 DC: 16
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+2: (11)+2: 13

Again, the Gnome does her best to stay out from underfoot, and in a quick lull in the battle, the Witch steps forward to thrust her hands towards the skeleton that seems a bit more ... healthy. "Stand back! Set this one on fire if you can..." She whispers several words that drip of magic, and a gooey, white substance jets outwards, forming a sort of net around the large skeleton. "Don't get too close, it'll pull you in."

-TBC-