You Saw What?

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Log Info

  • Title: You Saw What?
  • GM: Telamon
  • Place: Alexandrian Sewers

Alexandrian Sewers, midday

The sewers. Of course it's the sewers.

The Guild representative was apologetic. "It... he... was very insistent there was something 'not quite correct' roaming around. This, uh..." He checks his notes, "Garbonzo stated that he knew how two-legs walked and these were definitely not two-legs. But they keep slipping into places too small for him to squeeze into, so..." The man makes a pained look. "The good news is that we think Garbonzo's boxed them into one of the outlet areas. They won't be able to escape past him."

And that's how you found yourselves walking down an unusually clean part of the sewers, the intermittent magelights in the walls only intensifying the gloom away from them. The stink is even a little less than you'd expect, though that may be due to the weather shifting, getting cooler.

"Theo's never going to believe me," the wizardling stumping along in the middle of the pack mumbles to himself, the light cantrip he'd had at the ready in case of darkness traded for the dim mage-lights in this section of the sewers. "It isn't entirely filthy yet." The thin, raven-haired man with bright green eyes and a short raven buzzcut was immediately identifiable for his trade, in calf-length robes that were once quite nice, but now seem just a little threadbare at elbows and hem. Trousers to match are tucked into leather boots coated with tallow in hopes of keeping the stink out of the leather at least somewhat.

He'd sent off the hawk on his arm before they went underground, and tucked a leather falconer's glove into his pack, but the only weapon he displays is a dagger at his belt.

Zero, the talent extraordinaire, as the mul'niessa bard is marketed (by himself, at the TarRaCe, of course), is dressed not in his usual peacock livery but the more slim and proper leather armor that he's known for. Nevertheless, he looks absolutely horrified with the whole affair. Him! In a sewer!

"Me! In a sewer!" he exclaims, putting the back of his hand to his forehead. "The horrors of this world shall never cease. At least I have my beloved bosom-friend Lheo by my side!" He offers a pitiful look in Lheo's direction, withering in self-despair. "The things I will do for money."

He waits just a moment before he adds, "It could be filthier if you allowed me, darling," more quietly to himself with a little grin.

"Y'know, it's funny - this isn't even the grossest thing I've done for the guild in the last month." Fidget cheerfully recalls as they move forward, though occasionally pausing to prestidigitate away a particularly unpleasant thing in her path. No reason to step in things if you can avoid it. Then in response to the bard's comment, "Oh, do you need to shit? This is the place for it, but perhaps wait until after, wouldn't want to get caught with your pants down.", her tone flatly curious enough it's not obvious if she's joking or this is just a reasonable consideration... for all of a few seconds, then she grins a wide goblin-toothed grin.

GAME: Fidget casts Mage Armor. Caster Level: 5 DC: 16

Dark places, dark acts, dark smells? Probably a Crik is lurking around. He had somehow appeared during the guild meeting, and now he is appearing in and out as he walks along with his distinct hop and half walk.

"... we are getting paid?" The corvid egalrin finally asks, as his head snaps up towards attention. Some details are easily missed whilst scribbling down to a weather-worn journal. It also looks like the corvid has swapped his cloak at least three times somehow, since it always seems to look like a different shade.

Soon, the passage ends at a door. But it's the wardens that get your attention. One is a man in the canvas coveralls of an Alexandria city-maintenance worker, looking oddly at ease. But then, perhaps he should be relaxed, as his companion is kind of imposing. Three green, leathery-skinned legs support a torso that looks to be mostly toothy mouth, with three tentacles jutting from it. Two of the tendrils are clawed things, like organic flails, while the third is studded with eyeballs and a weirdly clean hat perched on it.

There's a guttural, gurgling voice from the bizarre creature. "Ah! Greetings and salubriations! You must be the fellows sent to handle the monsters. I am of course Garbonzo the Magnificent. I can't shake hands, but..." One tendril comes up, and lifts its hat, tipping it before replacing the hat. "A pleasure."

The city worker just rolls his eyes, but grins. "We think we've got them penned up in here," he points to the door. "There's some odd noises, but the big guy can't get through the door and, well, I'm not paid enough to go in there myself."

"We'd better be," the thin wizard that Zerthos had named 'Lheo' answers darkly, his boots clumping along amid the stone. "Zero, just think of it as your body coming to join your mind at last," he adds with a smirk up at the dramatic bard.

He goes quiet, then, listening carefully to the wardens as they speak. The otyugh gets most of his attention, a long, measuring, wary stare. Something with that many teeth should be given healthy respect and a wide berth. At least it's polite? "Them? What do they look like, or have you seen them?"

GAME: Fidget rolls knowledge/dungeoneering: (1)+9: 10 (EPIC FAIL)

Zero would have a remark about having other uses for dropped trousers, and the proper union of the state of his mind and body, but it's pretty clear that any thought of that vanishes from his head the moment the mul'niessa man takes a look at the odd... entity, introducing itself as Garbonzo. Red-pink eyes blink twice.

"Entirely too many teeth for my liking," he murmurs, before putting a hand in a rather close way to Lheo's back. Zero begins more loudly and amiably, "I'm in complete agreement with my beloved friend, good sir with impeccable taste in hats. It is a pleasure indeed, but, ah, who are 'they'? Do they bear a poor resemblance to your fine personage?"

Seeing the two ahead of them, Fidget glances briefly at the strange creature, and the one with the tentacles, too. But she mostly focuses on that hat! "Yeah, tell us who the monsters are, or whatever, but can I have your hat?" she says with all the bluntness one would expect from her. "I have money! Or snacks, or shiny rocks, or whatever is to your liking. I also have some things that explode with fire!"

She also sidles up to the door that was mentioned and ponders just opening it a little for a peek.

"Ah-!" Crik exclaims, hands splayed out, when Garbonzo is visible. Then, heedless of social norms, he begins to hop around the tentacled creature in excitement, head moving up and down as his tail bops. "Must be one of the things from beyond the veil. Very polite. Attachment to mortal things. Feed on mortal pleasantries?" A piece of parchment is pulled out from his cloak, and he looks at it sideways with a distinct corvid tilt. "... a hat." He ends his analysis, with a blank eyed stare towards Garbonzo.

Garbonzo brings its eye-tentacle down a bit to peer at Fidget (who is very small). "You like it! I found it, and it has remained clean all this time! I'm sure it belonged to someone, but I've no idea who it would belong to."

At the inquiries, the tripodal sewer agent turns its tentacle to face Lheo and Zerthos. "They are definitely not two legs. And they are smaller. I think they have many legs, for they make clicking sounds when they walk. Although... perhaps they are carrying castanets or rattles. I could be mistaken."

The sewer worker reaches up to rub the bridge of his nose. "He recognizes when something that's not 'people' comes through, but the world kinda gets divided up into 'two legs', 'no legs', 'three legs', and 'everything else'." He offers a smile. "At least he can talk in complete sentences."

Meanwhile, Garbonzo is eyeing Fidget again. "Hmm. I am quite fond of my hat, though! It makes me look dashing!"

"I seem to recall you telling Theo you liked teeth." Lheo turns backwards to look at the mul'niessa bard at the hand on his back, with a one-sided smirk that holds only something of amusement. It's a brief remark, though, and most of his attention is now split between the tentacled one, the warden, and the door. "Bugs," he answers, as a shudder ripples down his back. "Let's get this over with."

He seems to be pointedly ignoring the interlude with the hat.

Zero only blinks momentarily at Lheo's remark. Not even arguing that it was said. "When did you--oh, nevermind that. Fascinating!" he exclaims at the sewer worker's remark on legs. "He and I have something in common then," Zero replies with a benevolent smile. "Although I think a little more about what's between--"

Finally the rest of his brain catches up with him. "I, ah, pardon me. Clicking legs?" He looks at Lheo. "Yes, this does... sound like bugs to me." Suddenly he's less enthused about the idea of these particular legs. "Do you think they'll even appreciate my artistry, Lheo? Dreadful. This place is only dreadful. Thank the gods' kindness for your company, my dear friend."

He sighs a touch too heavily, because of course he does. "Yes, let's get going then. To perform my arias for... insectkind." So upset.

Quietly slipping the door open, Fidget peeks an eye up to the crack, and tries to get a look down the passage beyond, after a moment to glance around, she slips it closed as quietly, "Looks clear for now, though there's some offshoot passageways our monsters to be hiding in." Almost without a pause, the goblin changes topic abruptly, "Well, consider if there's another hat you'd rather buy, or maybe we could trade hats?" she gestures to her own headpiece with a flourish of the wrist. "But for now...", Fidget fiddles with something at her wrists, and her current hat disappears suddenly, and is replaced by a similar copy of the sewer agent's fancy hat. Slightly modified from the tentacle'd person's brilliant white hat, it has a gap for some of Fidget's hair to spill out the side opposite the blue feather.

"Okay, we can go. But I'll be back! And I want that hat!" and then she pulls the door wide for the group to advance, letting other people go first.

Crik bops his head up and down. "Insects." The egalrin agrees, then hides away the journal. "Lecherous insects?" He adds after a moment, with a tilt of his head. His beak opens for a second, before he starts to go ahead, taking up on his hopping walk.

GAME: Crik rolls stealth: (17)+12: 29
GAME: Lheo rolls perception: (14)+4: 18
GAME: Zerthos rolls Perception: (11)+9: 20
GAME: Fidget rolls perception: (2)+6: 8
GAME: Fidget rolls stealth: (15)+11: 26
GAME: Zerthos rolls Stealth: (5)+8: 13
GAME: Lheo rolls stealth: (8)+4: 12
GAME: Crik rolls perception: (19)+11: 30

The door leads to a long, semi-lit passage, with a sluice running down the middle, bank full of (mostly) dirty water. There's a couple passages off to the sides, and you see the closed sluice gate at the far end. A thoroughly unpleasant place, made more unpleasant by the smell -- yeap, the otyughs definitely can't get in here.

As the party advances cautiously, sticking to the shadows as best they can, a sudden ripple in the channel catches your eye. Abruptly, something scuttles out of the water -- two somethings, three! It's... a crab the size of a large dog, with... what looks like a second crab, riding on the first crab, the rider holding a long knife in one claw and waving it menacingly! A third giant crab scrambles out after the first, and they clack their claws menacingly at you!

GAME: Crik rolls weapon1: (10)+8: 18
GAME: Crik rolls damage1+2d6: aliased to 1d4+1+2d6: (4)+1+(4): 9
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+6: (7)+6: 13

One of the giant crustaceans sprints forward, claws clacking. Unfortunately, it seems to have missed Crik, and the egalrin rogue's attack strikes it, wounding the crab. It doesn't let up its single-minded charge, though, and lunges at Zero... failing to connect.

GAME: Zerthos spends ONE use of BARDIC PERFORMANCE.

"Oh disgusting!" Zero cries out as the crustacean nearly snaps at him. "Lheo, darling, these are worse than bugs! Why, a squid almost ate my face once!" It appears he has a history with aquatic lifeforms.

He scrambles backward from the crab that tried to snap at him and begins his aria, a thing that is, perhaps frustratingly considering his overall mien: actually quite good. If completely in Sildanyari and regaling a tale of heroism from long ago.

GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+4: (5)+4: 9

The second crab stalks forward, eyes locking onto Crik. The smaller crab on top looks almost excited, tapping the giant crab's carapace with the tip of its dagger as it lunges. The claw tips snap together a full foot short of Crik though, another miss.

GAME: Crik rolls knowledge/dungeoneering: (1)+7: 8 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Crik rolls damage+1: aliased to +1+1: (3)++1+1: 5

Crik watches as the crab goes by him and then the other swipes at him - but as he dodges the deadly crustaceans, his attention is focused on the crab on top. "Something odd about the shell." He notes out aloud as he moves back, sliding his blade out. "... do crabs have shells?" Important existential question as he stabs the one behind him.

GAME: Lheo casts Magic Missile. Caster Level: 2 DC: 15
GAME: Lheo rolls 1d4+1: (3)+1: 4

The smell in the room hits Lheo in the face with a kick like a mule, and it takes him a minute to recover from his senses being assaulted - only to discover that he's being assaulted! Or rather, his friend is - and that's about the same thing. No more jokes, now, especially none about finding crabs after all the lewd remarks they'd exchanged on the way down here. Instead, he quickly shouts something arcane and unintelligible sounding, and stabs a finger at the crab just feet from him, a bolt of green fire flying from his fingertip to slam into the crab, cracking the carapace and making it momentarily glow with green light along the crack.

GAME: Fidget rolls knowledge/dungeoneering: (10)+9: 19
GAME: Fidget casts Fireball. Caster Level: 5 DC: 18
GAME: Fidget rolls 5d6: (12): 12
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (8)+2: 10
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (6)+2: 8

"Well, that explains the clicking. Better than bugs, I think!" Fidget says and then peeks around Lheo, putting a hand on his elbow to squeeze her head between him and the wall, then calling out an incantation and twirling fire out of the aether with a finger on her left hand, the flame spiral condenses into a small sphere, and she lobs it overhand past the man and past the crabs, landing on the ground past everyone and then exploding with a hot wave of flame that scorches both stone and carapace, and sends a wave of burnt sewer smell to join the other aromas.

GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+10: (11)+10: 21
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+6: (10)+6: 16
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d3+4: (3)+4: 7
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+6: (10)+6: 16
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+6: (11)+6: 17
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d4+2: (1)+2: 3
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+8: (5)+8: 13

The evil-looking smaller crab vaults down from its mouth, shell still smoking from the fireball. But it seems undeterred by the magical assault, instead sinking its sharp dagger into Crik's leg and snapping at the egalrin's arm with a claw. Fortunately, the claw-strike misses. No sound comes from it, save for the clicking of its multiple legs.

The first crab is on its last legs, battered by blade and spell. But it's not dead yet, and after Crik shanks it again, it turns to confront its tormentor. Claws nip and clack, one sinking into the rogue but failing to get a grip on him.

GAME: Zerthos casts Grease. Caster Level: 3 DC: 15
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (3)+2: 5
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (9)+2: 11

Zero sees that the crabs up ahead of Crik are still quite alive, and that they need to be... discouraged in their assault against their feathered friend. Still singing, he reaches into a pouch, flicks some sort of substance that explodes into something more liquid that coats the floor and the crabs, and they slip and fall quite prone and ready.

There has to be better phrasing than that. Zero keeps singing, however!

The two crabs fall down on the ground in a wild spray of magically-conjured lard, flailing a bit. The giant crab rights itself, and begins picking its way across, moving around to approach Crik cautiously... using one claw to help keep steady as it snaps the other at Crik menacingly.

GAME: Crik rolls weapon1+1: (10)+8+1: 19
GAME: Crik rolls damage1+1: aliased to 1d4+1+1: (1)+1+1: 3

There's snaps and stabs and plenty of black feathers and caws as Crik gets assaulted from all sides. Looking far worse for wear, he hops back towards the rest of the party after taking a swipe at the prone evil crab.

GAME: Lheo casts Magic Missile. Caster Level: 2 DC: 15
GAME: Lheo rolls 1d4+1: (4)+1: 5

It's nearly down, badly cracked and very crabby about it, judging by the look of the egalrin. Lheo wastes no time in snapping out the same spell again, and green fire flies again. This time, the green fire lights up all of the cracks in the carapace, and for a moment, the underbelly glows with that same green fire, before it slums, lifeless, to the stink sewer stone.

"And stay down," he snaps out, turning his attention to the other one up ahead.

GAME: Fidget casts Burning Hands. Caster Level: 5 DC: 16
GAME: Fidget rolls 5d4: (14): 14
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (4)+2: 6
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (13)+2: 15

Pushing off the wall and somewhat pushily nudging her way between Lheo and Zero, Fidget moves up next to Crik, and gives him a pat of reassurance, which given the height difference is about thigh-height, and then chanting, her fingertips begin to glow white-hot, and with a push forward towards the crabs, the air ignites and a stream of flame hides the crabs from sight for a second, and when the fire gutters out, one of the crabs is awkwardly struggling to stand, then collapses in a heap.

GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+6: (3)+6: 9

The smaller crab manages to pull itself to its feet, though its footing is so precarious it can't make any headway. Closer now, the shell looks like a snarling, almost fiendish face, as the angry-looking crab points a claw at Crik, waving its knife in its other claw. As if inviting him to battle.

GAME: Zerthos casts Cure Light Wounds. Caster Level: 3 DC: 15
GAME: Zerthos rolls 1d8+3: (7)+3: 10

When Lheo dispatches the crab that'd been threatening him, Zero, still singing melodiously, gives a little wag of the brow in a particularly Zero-branded expression of gratitude, before the man steps forward and touches Crik. Something about the melody of the song, still inspiring with courage, combined with the magic flickering from Zero's hand results in the egalrin's damage being healed almost in entirety, a good effort to mend the wounds given by aggressive crustaceans.

GAME: Crik rolls weapon2+1: (18)+7+1: 26
GAME: Crik rolls damage2+1: aliased to 1d4+0+1: (4)+0+1: 5

Crik's black feathers look so fresh! So new! So luxuriant, almost as if they weren't covered in dust and blood! The hunched rogue's pose straightens and he bops his head in gratitude to the bard behind him. "Nice haunting," He opens up his beak. "A touch of the dark."

Meanwhile, the corvid raises his hand from under the cloak and thunks a bolt into the mean looking crab.

Finding himself behind the others, Lheo steps up behind the goblin, giving her enough space to move, and pulling the dagger from his belt. He tosses it casually up into the air, over the head of Fidget, and stabs a finger at the evil crab on her other side, several feet away. It immediately straightens as if instructed to do so, and flies at the thing, but the aim is off, and it darts well wide, returning to his hand covered in the grease Zerthos had conjured.

GAME: Fidget casts Burning Hands. Caster Level: 5 DC: 16
GAME: Fidget rolls 5d4: (16): 16
GAME: Telamon rolls 1d20+2: (6)+2: 8

Fidget, glancing over her shoulder at Lheo's dagger flies past, asks him "Out of juice? Lemme help!" and she short-tosses him a small orb she produces from around her waist somewhere, close and slow enough that it's an easy catch. With her other hand, she's charging fire magic in her fingertips, pointing at the last remaining crab, and she turns back to it to complete the spell with a gleeful spoken word, stepping forward to embroil the enemy in flames, and get slightly out of the way of the other wizard, burning as she steps forward. She doesn't expect, when the flames clear, that the smaller crab would be writhing in impotent rage on its side, too many legs melted into uselessness, and the flailing slows and then stops. "Oh, I guess it's dead. Still, you can give me that back when we're done making sure the place is all clear of more of these things." she offers to Lheo, and casually nudges the now-dead crab with her boot. "Some kind of spirit-possessed crab-thing, I think?"

The smaller, fiendish-looking crab twitches a few times as it's incinerated, before the blade drops from an opened claw and something like a sigh of relief comes from the blackened shell. Then.. it's quiet again. Stinky and smokey, but quiet.

Once the melee is done, Zero falls oddly silent after concluding on a note held a little long just for a bombastic, if somewhat early ending on the Sildanyari aria. He clears his throat, and then he smiles brightly at Fidget. "Oh darling, Lheo is never out of... juice. Speaking of which, are we all right? I can give out that magic healing touch if needed--just once, however, although I can certainly promise my touch is magic in other ways." The peacock of a man wags a little brow with the offering.

He looks around, wrinkling his nose at the aroma of cooked crustacean. It'd be nice if it wasn't intermingled with eau d'sewer. "It sounds positively dreadful. It isn't enough to be a jumped-up crustacean; it has to be possessed, too. The horrors of the world truly never cease!"

"You wouldn't thank me to fry you," Lheo answers with a smirk, but he takes the pearl all the same, holding it in his hand and turning it over. There isn't time to ask more, but he nods and looks up. "Thanks. What's in it, if I have to use it?"

He seems to have pointedly ignored the eyebrow waggle, but when Zerthos pipes up, he sighs. "Zero, forget your prick for a minute. Is everyone all right?" He toys the pearl of power between two fingers, looking around at the others.

Crik raises his hand over his forehead and gives it a wipe; that was close enough. The corvid then looks around, as if catching himself, and then flops all off his cloaks over himself. The crustacean is approach - and with a ginger stretched out foot - gives it a light kick. "Possessed - transformed? What made it so angry?"

A journal is opened and the egalrin starts scribbling something on it. "Always these mysteries..." He mutters by himself.

GAME: Fidget casts Detect Magic. Caster Level: 5 DC: 15

"Oh, it's formless magical power, you draw on it and can re-grasp some simple spell you've expended recently. Just focus on a spell, and sort of *pull* on it, with your mind. You'll feel it rushing back." Fidget explains, leaning down to pick up the knife the crab had been carrying and looks it over, casting a spell of her own to sense if there's any magic in the weapon, or if the Heikegani just grabbed the first weapon it could.

"No idea what made it angry," she replies to Crik, shrugging as the blade, and glancing past it, the crab, prove to have no magic in them - or at least none, now. "I think they just tend to be angry when possessed like that. Maybe they don't like being crabs? I wouldn't want to be a crab. I'd get pretty stabby if I was forced to be a crab for long."

The trip back out is definitely less worrisome than the trip in. That being said, having Garbonzo follow along, pelting you with questions, is... well, at least he's being sociable. The sewer worker is pretty happy with things, and when the corpses are presented to the Guild representative, he nods. "Sometimes things get into the sewers. Would you believe a few years back we had alligators?"

Sadly, Garbonzo stands firm -- for the moment -- on trading away his beloved hat. Still, he doesn't tell off Fidget. Maybe it's just a question of finding what an otyugh wants in exchange for an improbably clean and well kept hat? A question for another day.

OOC

<OOC> Telamon says, "Map: https://www.mipui.net/app/index.html?mid=m6hw7psp82m"

<OOC> Telamon says, "Goblin: Fidget, Staff: Lheo, Pipes: Zero, Raven: Crik."