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Welcome to an Age of Heroes

In Taara's wake the earth crumbled. Gods fell, others rose, and the race of mankind looked forward and saw the destruction of nations. For five years, necrotech seared the world's landscape and forces unknown decimated the once-insurmountable Walls of Charn. Nations turned against one another with the vanishing of monarchs--brother to brother and kin to kin. During the struggles, the nation of Dragonier attempted to keep the peace before it, too, fell. Other nations threatened to follow.

Now returned from the Mists, Alexandria finds itself thrown into a world in turmoil. In this world, the Pantheon of Light stride forward in anger, the Twilight fall into debate, and the forces of Darkness are locked in a war between Maugrim and Taara. High arcana soars over the landscape with the renewed activity of the Old Races, while guilds and organizations struggle to find their footing with the fall of Rune. The sildanyar and khazad have moved forward into the world once again, driven by the perceived neglect of the world by humankind.

The world had waited for the return of Alexandria and the return of the Myrrish and Bludgun kings for five years--only to find Alexandria suddenly returned unchanged, and unknowing, from the Land of Mists. To Alexandria, the War of Sendor is just days past. To the world--

It is the time for heroes.

Current Arc

Current arc.png

Recent Website Updates

Feb 16, 2017

Khazadi Fest Takes to the Streets!

Happy festival, everyone! Please take advantage of the opportunity to roleplay, host meetps, a and generally celebrate with your fellow players! Also, don't forget Keggerfest Bingo--check out the Tribune for details!

Holidays kfest.jpg

Jan 23

Release Package 27, Part 2!

...due to the size of this Release Package, we will be rolling it out in stages! The first stage saw the release of new Aspects. Now, we are adding two new options!

  • We've updated RPP requests! In addition to rewarding an RPP, any +request/rpp will award bonus XP and GP.
  • Add people to legwork! After submitting a LEGwork, you can use the +myjob/source command to add your friends!

Associated +help files have been updated to reflect these changes.

As always with new content, there may be some burps. We are still working on the final parts of this Release Package. It may take some time, so please be patient.

In the meantime, please send Whiteout a big THANK YOU! He has been making this magic happen. :D

Jan 17

Tomorrow is...

...Winnie the Pooh Day! How will YOU celebrate this holiday? (And don't say, oh bother!)

As we anticipate this holiday, here is some Winnie the Pooh gamerart for us to enjoy: Pooh Fighter!

Jan 15, 2017

Punplot Challenge!

So, every now and then I am going to CHALLENGE THE PLAYERBASE.

If you run a plot and manage to turn it into a pun that makes me laugh, I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU A SMALL BONUS.

Consider this a challenge from me to all of you. THE WHIRLPOOL PUNPLOT CHALLENGE.

Jan 13, 2017

Gnomepocolypse Avoided!

The Tribune has not been flooded by gnomes...THIS WEEK!!!

Though the risk remains on the horizon, it has been averted for now! For now, Whirlpool sits at his GM's Screen, plotting away...

To celebrate the averted GNOMEPOCALYPSE, as promised, staff is offering bonuses to any PrP next week featuring giant war golems with pew-pew lazers!

Game on! :D

Pew-pew ZAP!

In celebration of next's week's WAR GOLEM EXTRAVAGANZA, Old Clunk's has been set as the Spot of the Day! Hit +sotd for mayhem!

Jan 10, 2017

+help roll updated!

What the title says!

Jan 04, 2017

Save the World!

I just realized!

Last edition featured TWO gnomish articles...and if that was not horrible enough, a picture of a gnome!

We face a gnomepocolypse, people. So this is what I am going to do.

If we receive at least two, nongnomish articles by the end of this week, I will offer bonuses next week for PrPs featuring giant war golems with pew-pew lazers!

If we receive one or none, I will offer bonuses to anyone who features gnomes in every single plot next week, with generous additional chocolate chip cookies sent to Whirlpool for the use of contagious weregnomes...

The yours.

Tenebrae's future is in your hands. Let's save the world.

- Lahar

Jan 02, 2017

Legwork: A Mini-Guide for Player GMs

What is a Legwork Queue, and Why do I want one as a GM?

Have you ever had one of the following situations?

  • Players want to look into the bad guy's organization!
  • Players want to follow-up on a rumor!

Perhaps you'd like to:

  • Encourage players to coordinate their inventories/purchases for an especially tough scene ahead!
  • Let players accomplish some things that require some effort, but not necessarily a full scene run by you. Or perhaps it just happens over time. These efforts probably lead to a scene, but you're not there yet.

...and so on. The above are examples of what you might want to use a legwork for. They are not the limit!

How do I Set One Up?

Any player GM may request a Legwork queue, and have as many or as few players added to it as they wish. There are two ways to do this:

If your legwork immediately follows an event, type: +event/leg <#>=Hi! I've opened a legwork on this scene. Use +myjob/add <#> to reply to it. This will auto-add all /confirmed players from that scene.
If your legwork does not immediately follow an event, just +request/legwork a scene yourself! Then, +myjob/source <#>=<name> <name> <name>. This command only works on legwork!

What Can I do with Them?

You can...

  • Ask for +rolls for investigative work
  • Ask players how they intend to accomplish a goal
  • Offer details on investigation, and any updated rumors
  • Even provide a miniature plot summary
  • ...and anything else you can think of

Legworks are a tool for every GM and player. Also, players may request or open them as well. Though this mini-guide isn't focused on that, you are free to request other PCs be added to your own legwork queues, as well.

UPDATE: Check out +help requests2 for some new options, just for GMs!

Dec 31, 2016

The Gnomish Traveler

Have YOU:

...ever dreamed of photobombing gnomes?
...ever dreamed of photobombing gnomes into Whirlplots?
...or anywhere on Ea?


Simply direct your browser to: Gnomish Photobomb ...

...and copy, paste away! Send in your work to the Tribune, as a bonus, and we'll include it in Gear's mighty travels! (Also award bonus RPP!)

Dec 16, 2016

Happy Holidays, pt 2!

Not so long ago, we had some of you send in ideas. Many ideas! Wonderful ideas for Aspects! Well, our new Aspects page just expanded! We're pleased to announce the addition of two! new aspects, as well as an edit to Dream-Touched.

As with all new material, expect adjustments to be made over time. Also, if you possessed a different Aspect and would like to change it for a new one, this may also be done at this time.

While these were originally to be part of the next Release Package, health and the holidays have interfered with that. But, we wanted y'all to have fun just the same!

- Lahar

Dec 6, 2016

Letters to Heth!

For those who do not know him, Gearbear Sparkthistle is a talented, exuberant traveler and gnomish explorer! In his latest escapade, he will be traveling to the very doors of Dragonier!

Gearbear has offered to take your letters with him! Yes, YOUR letters!

Have something to say to Heth? Would you like to write him a letter? Gearbear will deliver it!

Please send post to:

Alexandrian Tribune
Alexandria, Alexandros
OOC: Just type +request/trib !

Nov 17, 2016

Congrats, Great Paladin!

Our Great Paladin hit level 20 this week! This has been a lifelong journey, so give them a congrats!

Great paladin20.jpg

Nov 16, 2016

Sparkliest Holiday Evar!

Howdy! This year, we thought we'd hit the holidays a little early! 2016 has been a big year, and we see no reason not to make 2017 the most sparkly on record!

So, starting on the 26th--that is, after Thanksgiving--anyone who runs two PrPs from then until the end of December will receive a gift of their choice! One of these PrPs must be a 4-8 scene. The reason for this ofc, is to let folks test out their new awesomes, and to give our new players--many of whom recently reached L4 or are close to it, some time in the limelight.

  • If you're new and between 2-5: Earn 1 full level to any alt!
  • If you already have an alt that's at level 6 or higher, pick one of:
  • A new, L7 PC! The primary class must be a wizard, cleric, bard, witch, or cavalier! We are offering some <3 to our support PCs this year! Also, if you have one of these in a higher tier, we ask that this new PC be of a different class. This is just to keep things mixed up.
  • A full +1 level to any alt of L9 or lower!

This is awardable once per player. The above takes the place of your runner's awards for those 2 PrPs.

Happy holidays, everyone!

- Your Tenebrae Staff

Nov 14, 2016


Hey, folks. We know there is a lot going on right now in the US, and that we have many players, and staff from that area. In light of it, we'd just like to reiterate that Tenebrae will continue to be supportive of LGBTQ, and of people of all races, genders, religions, and stripes.

Thank you for making this game what it is.

Your Tenebrae Staff

Oct 17, 2016

Code Update

Do you hate math?
Do you like HP?
Do you like others taking notes for you?

If you answered YES to one or more of these questions, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are a winner due to the following updates to +timestop and +sheet damage-related code:

  • Damage is now tracked, and current HP=MAX HP - Damage
This means it's now properly correct, and changes to MAX HP will adjust current appropriately
  • TEMP HP now display in +hp!
  • Temp HP are now mentioned, if appropriate, when damaged
  • Our new Bloodragers (and good ol' Barbarians) now get their Rage temp HP auto-added (and removed) when using +rage!
- Whiteout

Oct 16, 2016

The Hunt is On!

"In the honor of the White Stag, we call the Hunt! Tonight, we course under Eluna's light! Let no prey escape us--be it wight or undeath that marks these cursed lands! Let them be felled beneath blade and steel!" Gilead's Hunter lowers his arms. Speaking in hushed tones, he moves among the ranks of warriors. Steam rises from the landscape ahead of them, the wight-filled wreckage of Heth's domain. Beneath it all, the wretched cry of the Green, and lost souls beyond.

This season, the High Hunt has been declared on the wreckage of Dragonier's borders. They go to rescue souls, and claim back the Green. At least, what they can.

To celebrate the HUNT! (and Halloween!) we'll be giving out unique Candy Corn MIs, in addition to normal Small Story and PrP awards! PrPs and stories are assumed to take place along the borderlands.

What do these do? When you run a PrP or SS related to the Hunt, we'll provide an @mail letting you in on the details! Some will be useful adventuring items, others will produce random acts of mayhem!

Game on, and ride high!

Oct 15, 2016

Release Package 26!

Welcome to Release Package 26! As with all new material, please expect some bugs and burps as we go along! Also, as with all new material, you will be able to make adjustments at this time.

In RP26, you will find...

  • BLOODRAGER! Noble warriors crafted by a secretive oruch clan, their magic has set loose upon Ea's soil! What role these heroes play in the upcoming war is too early to tell... If you are planning to convert to bloodrager, please do the following:
1. Rename your current character to OLD<name>. Log out!
2. Create a new character bit, and name them your old PC's name.
3. Go through chargen and advance to L2 as normal! Remember to copy over your old @desc, shor-desc, background, and any +finger information as well. Also: PLEASE DO NOT BUY ANYTHING AT THIS TIME. Nor should you transfer your inventory, or exchange items between PCs! Staff will take care of this at approval.
4. Apply for approval!At this time, staff will award you the rest of your XP, and a stipend. You will be set at your WBL equal to your fractional XP. Huzzah!
Also, while Bloodrager and Dragon Disciple should work fine, there may be some issues with Bloodrager + Sorc + DD, but we will hammer those out as they come!
  • New rage powers! We have added the Celestial totem!
  • New spells! New spells for almost every class!
  • New artificer discoveries! Pew pew chaos and law!
  • Tweaks to Ranger and Paladin spellcasting! The -3 has been removed. When Paizo crafted bloodrager, removing the -3 was one of the things they tested. We saw no reason to continue it, as it makes calculations more difficult. Hopefully this smooths things over a bit for everyone!
  • Tweaks to Ranger AC! The -3 has been removed. If you are a ranger, please contact staff via +request so that we can set you up.

We hope you enjoy the new content! We're expecting a high number of +requests, so please be patient with us. In the meantime, THE HUNT AGAINST HETH opens tomorrow, so please check it out!

- Your Tenebrae Staff

Oct 6, 2016

New Event Type!

Howdy! To help things a bit, I am going to try a new thing! This thing is adding OPENS: and CLOSES: events to +events! OPENS is when something starts, such as Aspect submissions! CLOSES is well, the last day!

Please let me know if this is helpful for you!

Sept 30, 2016

Magic of Ea!

We are looking at Bloodrager officially launching sometime between the 15th and 17th! This is BIG NEWS, and I know everyone has been pretty excited! Bloodrager represents honor, strength, and the development of arcane in new, awesome ways across Alexandria!

The world is responding.

Nations, denizens are beginning to report new developments, new sparks across Ea.

We'd like YOU to help make that happen! While Release Package 26 is on the horizon (thank you, everyone!) we're beginning work on 27! In it, we would like to add two new Aspects! So, for the next two weeks, until Bloodrager! is released, pepper us with your ideas! I will describe how in the next post.

Also, please feel free to RP various magic "sparks" happening during RP. For example, a pair of magic shoes walk out of Sandy's mysteriously breaking stove! It is all part of the story. :D

- Lah

How to Pitch Aspects!

Have an idea for ASPECTS? Please +pitch it! Here are some guidelines!

T1: +1-2 skill or +Language
T2: +3 to skills in a descriptive situation, or 1st level spell or minor 2nd
T3: Narrow 2nd-3rd level spell

Aspects try to:

- Focuses on a theme
- Emphasize that they're Ea's magic responding to you. SF-X is a thing!
- Emphasize and aid roleplay!
- Not emphasize combat power (and never hit/damage, as these are available elsewhere, and this would result in whackiness!)
- Sometimes offer thematic utility to concepts that might not otherwise have access to it

Whew! See you soon! :D

- Lah

Sept 29, 2016

What are SS Groups??

So, what ARE these things? Small Stories are traditionally focused around a PC, but recently staff realized--hey, why not do one together? But, isn't Tenebrae !clique?

Well, let's look at what a group is:

Group: A group is something easily definable and reachable in a way that makes it INCLUSIVE. That is, races, classes, and so on. Orgs can be a group if you include that org's allies. The point is, anyone with those interests, class, organization/ally membership could join in.

Clique: Cliques are by their nature EXCLUSIVE, and tend to be defined by vague "friends only" terms that are not achievable by folks outside the clique. While it is human nature to attach to those like us, and exclude others, this sort of thing over time ends up doing more harm than good, and is not something we want to see here on Tenebrae., for Small Stories, the first is awesome, but the second is probably not intended. This doesn't mean not to RP or make stories with friends--it does mean branching out. Small Story cliques are treated similarly to PrPs in terms of rewards. That is, an increasingly reduced reward, so the same policy applies there as here.

Anyway, Small Stories are a unique thing, after all! So, if more ideas or questions come up, please ping us as in a lot of ways, we are learning, too.

Sept 27, 2016

The Revel

In just 3 days, Alexandria celebrates THE REVEL! You may have seen this on +events (as a CAL +event).

During the Revel, the Theatre District is the place to be, though celebrations will spread throughout the City. Alexandrias' noted theatres, the Flightwright and Hope, will compete for players and audiences alike, the Arcanists will be out in force with demonstrations of whimsy and illusion.

The Revel marks the last chance at celebration before the coming cold months. As with any IC holiday, it is open for RP, PrPs, and anything else you can think of. So, game on!

Sept 23, 2016

Share Favorite RP Poses, Get RPPs

Please use +bb 9 to share your favourite stories, or fun poses from AWESOME RP!!!, today! We'll award you RPP just for doing it, and you might just make someone's day awesome by complimenting their RP! This can be poses, or a summary of something cool that happened.

- Your Tenebrae Staff!

Sept 20, 2016

Small Story Day Tomorrow!!!

THIS THURSDAY!!! marks our first SMALL STORY DAY! Staff will be about to answer questions and do our best to help you devise story ideas for your PC! In addition, there will be plenty of bonuses to be had for folks out roleplaying!

Some of you have noticed that there's story-related bonuses running from this Thurs (Sept 22) all through next month (Oct 22)!

That is just the start, but it all kicks off Thursday!

See you then!

- Your Tenebrae Staff

Thank You, Story Mentors!

A big THANK YOU! to our players. This thank you! is big enough that it deserves its own post! A number of you have stepped up to be story mentors! What is a story mentor? Page them to find out! You'll see 'Story Mentor' appearing beside their name in WHO at select weeks during the event, Sept 22-Oct 22!

These are awesome folks. Thank you! :D

Sept 18, 2016

Dran and Rune War!

Okay, folks! The final battle for Rune is on! The shield has been breached and bad thigns are going on all over the city! Dran's nose has been bloodied and their initial assault repulsed by the fury of Rune's wizards, but a few towers have been toppled by explosions. Elementals, mammoths, rocs, and countless soldiers of Dran are pouring into Rune, facing off with the unmatchde might of the wizards, their summoned creatures, constructs and more. It's brutal, ugly, and all of the Alexandrian irregulars have been comissioned to help continue evaucating civilians from the city as well as to strike at Arendt's men. Arendt wanted his fight versus Rune's power and he's finally got it. So far, it dun look good for him.

This event will be run over the course of a few weeks OOC to give everyone the chance to run a war-related PRP that wants to as well as take part in fighting Arendt's forces in bloody street-to-street battles as Dran tries to advance (at great cost). All PRPs will be death consent automatically and receive FULL REWARDS commensurate with the risk incurred.

Take advantage, folks!

The actual-time space of the warfare will be only over a few days despite the length of time required to play it out. Once it is all complete and wrapped up, we will have another scene to cap it off and move onto the next part of our story!

Death Consent is a Go!

Since it was buried in the text of my previous post, I'd like to reiterate:

All plots relating to Rune and Dran right now are automatically death consent plots. If you die, you die. They will receive full rewards in XP and magical items for the duration.

Please take advantage of this! :D

Sept 14, 2016

New Area Ongrid!

Only weeks ago, the Artificer's Hall ripped upwards from the earth, lifting itself on spiderlike legs. It remains in the air today, supported on eight, mechanical legs. Underneath however... is whispered the Hall's basements lead to places they should not. That, should one delve deep enough, they might lead even to Morduzum. But...that's crazy. Right?

There is no official statement, yet. However, officials are scambling to get a response out. They say to expect a column within the next issue of the Tribune.

OOC: We're opening a new are ongrid! You're now welcome to run dungeons, and dungeon-adventures beneath Alexandria! The access point is beneath the Hall--which even now, agents of Reos are scrambling to block off. Eventually, there will be a well-constructed, locked doorway that will be guarded around the clock. Of course, adventurers can still get access.

Local artificers will all be called in this week and next to finish the door. :3

If you'd like to find out more, RP with our artificers ongrid!

Aug 16, 2016

Celebrating Six Years!

So as it's been over six years! since we converted to Pathfinder, or near enough! ...and, after 25!!! Release Packages, our new content is pretty awesome! But, what went on behind the scenes for those 25 packages? How much has changed in that many years?

  • Streamlined equipment slots and +inv commands, and some backend work
  • Recoded most of chargen!
  • Recoded most of advancement!
  • Upgraded and improved +sheet code! Again, and again...
  • Replaced the core of our +roll system to reduce the WhirlDice Effect (TM) (yes this is a thing!)
  • Redid timestops!
  • Then added more timestop features than ever, including editable, savable, and loadable ingame maps!
  • Redid timestop help, again, and again, and...!
  • Added functional, leveling animal companions with equippable objects, and selectable choices as you develop!
  • Recoded and standardized ALL ingame help! From +help, to +advhelp to +cgh...
  • Added pattern matching to ingame help!
  • Redid entire staff help system!
  • Recoded the guts of our feat system, and associated commands, data format...!
  • Created the RPP system!
  • Coded the RPP system!
  • Recoded the grid (stressssss...)!
  • Created and coded a new +map!
  • Adjusted leveling speed through ingame options and systems to give folks more control and individual choice!
  • Created a new +nom system and tiering!
  • Recoded vendors!
  • Created the current wiki!
  • Collected and archived old theme documents! Created a library!
  • Created staff archives!
  • Updated theme to match current DM plots and goings-on!
  • Removed and cleaned out many old ingame themefiles, news systems, and so forth from the ingame system!
  • Created staff-droppable vendors for large scenes!
  • Opened more commands to PrP DMs!
  • Created more commands for PrP DMs!
  • Created +events and PrP tracking!
  • Created special +event commands for GMs of all stripes!
  • Added efficiency commands for new PC reviews and quickcheck options for staff!
  • Redid ingame damage commands and variants and variants and...
  • Added commands to handle ingame spell effects and tracking, such as polymorph!
  • Recoded sorcerer bloodlines and behind-the-scenes class mechanics!
  • Replaced the staff-request system entirely!
  • Added more permanent, multiple-levels of archiving!
  • Recoded ingame spell handling, particularly for bonus spells!
  • Recoded more spell handling to prevent +sheet breaking!
  • Several efficiency upgrades, reducing the number of rechecks inherit in the system (in cases, the system checked more than it needed to; we focused it)...!
  • Security updates here and there (despite bidding, Renfrey was not hired for this job)...!

...the above largely went on behind the scenes over the years--looking through it, it is quite a lot and I know I have left out so much. The game has been busy since our launch into Pathfinder. Our coders, general staff, and DMs deserve a large thank you!! for making all of this happen, including a number of player volunteers! Thank you! Whiteout has done some amazing things since he came onboard, and Earthquake deserves all the credit for bringing us to Pathfinder in the first place!

And with that...keep a lookout for RP26! It is still a few weeks out, but please send our coders and staff a thank you!

- Lah

Jul 15, 2016

Release Package 25!

We're pleased to announce the launch of Release Package 25! In it, you will find:

  • Updated racial feats! Nearly all races received a few new options. In addition, the "National" feats are now called Fervor, to represent human dedication, zeal, and idealism. We just think it is a better name, so you may notice an update to your sheets. Also, some race feats have been clarified to be a little more useful (the Fervor feats are an example, as is Territorial Defender).
  • More Aspect options! Many of you have asked for Aspect Tattoos, and so here they are! We've also adjusted Tinker-Touch to be a little more useful.
  • New artificer discoveries! Hooray! Also, we've adjusted a few levels for discoveries, just to smooth things out. We think you'll be happy with the changes.
  • New artificer page! Artificer discoveries got the rage powers treatment.
  • Minor bug fixes and the like
  • Companion skills! These are now in code. The next time you level, you'll be asked to fill them in, plus any from previous levels. See staff for details if you've questions.

As with all new content, expect there may be adjustments as time goes on. This is just the nature of the beast. Game on!


Your Tenebrae Staff

Jul 12, 2016

PrP Policy Update


Given local challenges in running PrPs, as well as us having added a lot of new options, SPELLS!, FEATS! and neat things lately, we are adjusting our encounter guidelines a bit. That is:

Groups will be assumed to be APL+2 as "Average"
(higher or lower numbers of PCs adjust this, ofc)

Previously, we had assumed APL+1. However, we have added a lot of options to the game since then, as well as learned more about Pathfinder! We believe this change is needed to keep things challenging. In the end, it is a pretty small change overall, and plot runners are generally free to pick whichever challenge is appropriate.

We've also worked to provide better guidelines for what might, or might not be, challenging for groups on Tenebrae. Where before things were kind of a sweeping statement, we've tried to be more nuanced:

T1: Up to CR+3 (up to CR+4 if 5 or more)
T2: Up to CR+4 (up to CR+5 if 5 or more)
T3-4: Up to CR+5 (up to CR+6 if 5 or more)

Are these more helpful? Please let us know. We'll be testing things out as things run, and taking your feedback.

Also, the numbers above should not be considered the standard, but upper limits. As normal, creatures using tactics will always be stronger than those without, groups are better than singles, so always consider the party before selecting challenges. (The reason the upper tier numbers ramp up is that power can rachet up pretty quickly in the upper levels, and we hope this opens the floor to new challenges and fun.)

We will be taking feedback as with all new things, and may adjust along the way, so please keep in contact with staff and other PrP Runners. If you've questions or want to run ideas by us, please do. Also, don't hesitate to make use of the GM's Guild (page Hurricane about the next meeting!).

Finally, we are considering allowing Mythic rules for creatures at T2 plus. These could make running a "single boss monster" against groups more viable. What do YOU think? Should we test it? Would you be interested? Such tests would be nonlethal, ofc.

- Your Tenebrae Staff

Jul 4, 2016

Heroic Fantasy, Tequila, and a FAQ


More seriously, we went ahead and tacked this onto the FAQ because it does come up from time to time, and here is kind of something folks can point to. It addresses the small picture, big picture, how much we dislike policing alignment, and also things like the general lack of gray morality in a heroic fantasy setting.

Because we're crazy, it touches on inquisitors and paladins, too.

Someone please pass the tequila!

Yours in Spirits,

The Tenebrae Staff

June 25, 2016

Sparklepire PrC!

Staff is pleased to announce that we are hard at work on an upcoming, Sparklepire PrC! While it will primarily be aimed at gnomes, we hope lucht, oruch, and more will take a bite out of the sparkle side!

PS We're totally serious. Totally.

June 19, 2016

GMs Guild...?

Hey there! Some of you have requested a 'Tenebrae GMs Guild' and we are working on that! What this means is that once a month, or every few weeks, we'll host an open gathering. Someone can propose a topic, but the rest of the time is up to you--whether you'd like to share resources, or bring up ideas. We'll be putting Hurricane on the spot to start with, but I am sure he'd love to hear voices other than his!

This 'Guild' is ofc open to everyone. What I'd like to do though, is make a logo for it. Any ideas?


May 24, 2016

Did You Know These GM Commands...?

Did you know about these great DMing, and other scene-related commands?

+tdamage: Like +init, this handly little feature comes packed with options. Would you like to damage everyone because FIREBALL? Type: +tdamage all=<amount>! Use negative numbers to heal.
+tnote: Want to track rounds of Haste? +tnote lets you set notes on characters such as, "Stinky" or "Haste." You can also set a duration.
+init: More than just rolling initiative, the +init command takes modifiers, too. For example, you can +init+2 if you are a swashbuckler and have at least 1 panache available to you. (Situational bonuses like these are not coded in, but we try to make them as easy to use as possible!)
+tmap/reach: Curious about a creature's, or your, reach? This can help! This command takes into account a creature's size. Default is medium. Note, it does not take into account reach weapons.

These are a few of the commands found in +timestops! Whenever a +timestop is present, just type +thelp for more things you can do.

But wait, there's more!

+request/plots: Had a great adventure? Share your journals! This helps new players catch up to what's going on and is a great help. Personal journals may always be created and kept using +help journal, although this is more of a note-keeping system to help you keep track of recent stories, such as: Today we rescued the Prince Otyugh. He looked great in tightpants.
+event/leg: Want to do some followup to a great adventure? This +events command creates a new LEGwork queue with all confirmed players.

I hope these are helpful, and awesome! For more possibly unknown commands and options, hit +bbread 1 and look for the "Did you know...?" titles. The last I checked, they were around entries 1/54 and 1/55.


Breaking Down +breakdown!

The question came up: why doesn't +breakdown work on +csheet? The answer for this lies in how +csheet values are encoded. To get it really, truly broken down would require recoding +csheet. In the meantime, +breakdown does work for your rollable +sheet values. Tinker with it and see what comes up!

Also, I am reminded that +timestop code now takes into account +polymorph. Three cheers for White, guys!


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"The roads shall be painted teal!" announced the maddened hobgoblin king. And lo, his subjects bowed before him, and all roads from Hither to Yon became teal with bright green roses.

Recent Rumors in Alexandria

Bernfleur 18, 1019


Front Page

Attack in Nobles' District!

A building in the noble district belonging to the prominent Telenil family, distant relatives of head of the city council Rawyn Telenil, imploded.

City officials have been somewhat circumspect on the cause of the collapse but several notable adventurers were said to be on scene and some speculate that they are likely to blame. Others say a group of children stumbled upon a dangerous magical artifact which has now been contained by the Aquisitioners, the Elunan sect, some of whom were said to've been spotted on the site after the implosion.

Rawyn Telenil issued a statement indicating her continuing support of the Guild of Explorers and its membership in solving problems too dangerous and difficult for the common man. The loss of a family property is 'small, compared to the dangers that were faced'.

Soldiers' Defense News

The Soldier's Defense Hospital was evacuated in the wake of some kind of poison gas attack. Several golems and hardy adventurers were called to clear the place out and it seems to be that foul and fallen individuals deliberately let loose the gas in an attempt to rob the tithings vault. They were swiftly defeated and none survived and no doubt Althea will ensure they receive their just rewards.

The Watch Constables of Alexandria are asking all citizens to keep an eye out for a five foot eleven, slender and dark haired man who has gone by the name of 'Argus'. He has a dinstinctive scar on his right hand running from his pointer finger to his wrist.

The Hearthguards' extend their thanks to those who assisted.

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Howdy, folks! The Tribune will be going on hiatus for a while, as I investigate a different approach. Thanks for your support! In the meantime, please feel free to use +bbread 7 for rumors and updates!

Ceriday, Bernfleur 08, 1019


Front Page

Veshanti Delegation Attacked

An explosion occured in Upper Alexandria, near the Veyshanti Embassy. While the cause of the explosion is unknown, it does seem to have upset Merchant Tangisir, the bronze dragon who has family both in Alexandria and Veyshan and unofficial member of the Veyshanti delegation.

"It is unacceptable," he's quoted as saying. Master Tangisir suggests his warehouses had recently been set pon by thieves, but expressed confidence that Alexandrian authorities would look into the matter.

No deaths were reported as a result of the blast.

Editor's Note: We've reported previously on Merchant Tangisir, in the following editions:

OOC: This ties into the Grisht series of plots, run by Lahar.

Mage's Prison Presumptiously Uncovered!

Officials in Alexandrian uncovered a Mage's Prison. Uncovered in the northern wilderness, it is suspected the prison was used on Fel residents. Although some speculate its usage may have been recovery-based, a brief investigation into the area confirms this was not the case. "Runes along the walls, scratch marks from multiple escape attempts. In a legal prison, the wards merely block a dangerous and convicted creature from leaving, there's documentation, that sort of thing. Here, the prison was kept in secret, and the wards were set to rend on attempt of exit," a spokesperson from the Arcanists said.

Mage's Prisons are so-called because of their usage to bind extraplanar beings and unwholesome experiments, the existence of such prisons outside of official sanction (for enforcement purposes) has been under close scrutiny of local governments for years. Rune had officially looked down on the practice, though less scrupulous mages were known to practice in secret. With Rune's dissolution, it has fallen to local governments to decide on enforcement.

Local Watch constabulary suggest the Prison has been "eradicated and nullified," thanks to the heroic actions of local adventurers.

IMAGE: An image is included of all adventurers, complete with flying capes. A crook'd wizard in a goatee is seen running away, shaking his fist and yelling, 'Curses!'

OOC: This ties into the Grisht series of plots, run by Lahar.

Ghost Spooks Celebrants at vonIronBrew's!

During the celebration at the loss of a great warrior, Grisht the Half-oruch. Many stories were told about his great standings in the arena and some of his past deeds, such as the alleged child that he sired with a Princess from another land. However, the tale on everyone's lips about this event had to be how the celebration was shaken by the appearance of a ghost who marked a few of the revellers as they fought over a mysterious bracelet that disrupted the celebration.

The glowing figure appeared moments after a bracelet fell to the floor, seeming to summon the glowing figure. Perhaps this is the spirit of the late Grisht, trying to reclaim something important to him? Either way, the figure faded before leaving its mark o a number of those who were fighting over the bracelet. Anyone with further information on this story is asked to contact the Tribune.

OOC: By Chezni! This ties into the Grisht series of plots, run by Lahar.

Explosions Light Up the Sky in Noble District

A pillar of light shot into the sky, followed by a building imploding today in the Noble District.

Guards promptly sealed off the area and spoke to several adventurers who were on hand. Because of course they were.

OOC: This refers to a plot run by Whirlpool! Contact Kira, Fazahd, Elisabeth, Stjepan, Terewin and Astaren for details!

Fashion and Culture

Gladiatorial Celebrations

Alexandria's own gladiator, Grisht, will be celebrated at vonIronBrew's this Kesenday. Noted for his strength as well as jovaility, Gresht will be sorely missed by locals and businesses alike, who often liked to wager on his matches.

Local fan 'Caps' had this to say: "I saw his match against Gresher the Thresher! It was really cool! He swung his axe, and Gresher yelled. He had a mountain on his ax." Caps is 10 years old, and attends matches with his mother.

Although recent sspicions of poisoning have raised concerns among the local gladiator community, well-wishers say they don't intend to let that sully his memory at the celebrations. Reports fan Gildain Troughrough, "There was a Grisht in all of us. He tried hard, and he wasn't the best--but he was damn good. That's worth drinkin' to."

Editor's Note: See our follow-up coverage of this event in the Front Page.

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Submitted by Roselle!
Personal and Editorials

An Invitation to the Crimsons Pen!

Mikilostravia Abrioudelanarchie Mithralla, Lord of Estranillia, Archmage of the Sixth, extends a formal invatation to the ladies of the Crimson Pen, to Mithralla Manor for tea and conversation. Arrangement information can be obtained via the Tribune offices, or directly by Mithralla Manor. The magus suggests Ambassador Abrahil Brindelgear as chaperone.

Korday, Eatonis 16, 1019


Front Page
Something Wicked

There have been rumours floating about the grand city about the shadows that are cast by Desolation are... moving. Most insist this is merely speculation on the part of some of the more wary, though some might say 'paranoid', denizens of this great nation.

Recently, a team was dispatched into the distant range between Alexandros and Desolation in order to research these claims, though their investigations proved only to bring about more questions from a curious and, yes, frightened populace. Though they have admitted that there was activity involving the undead out there in the cold and unwelcome reaches, there is still much to be discovered about whether or not this threat has anything to do with the apparently 'moving' gloom cast beneath the prison state's ever-watchful presence, or is simply nothing more than an unfortunate event that just so happened to be in the area in which they arrived.

If you ask the guard, as I have, they would tell you: 'It's nothing more than a routine response to reports from someone that's obviously gotten into the drink. Desolation is a fine and stable bastion against lawlessness Ea over, and we owe it to the Keepers of that place to at least assume they'd know if something were brewing under their noses. Look, I'll tell you what I told my toddler. Nothing's wrong. The shadow's the same as it always has been. The sun still rises every morning. That enough?'

Some people are still skeptical, but this is one citizen that's convinced.

OOC: This relates to an amazing plot run by YOKAI! Contact them for details.

Pembroke Springsworth Lets the Dogs Run at Khazadi Fest

Pembroke Springsworth, gnomish woodscrafter, never thought to achieve fame in the world of war dogs. "I just set out to make the best companion possible!" he said. From his Inspiration, the world now has Dire Corgis.

The corgis arrived in Alexandria for the first time, just days ago. Inspired or perhaps emboldened by the Beer Fest, Pembroke decided to show off his invention. His very fluffy, adorable invention.

Of course, in true gnomish fashion, no good invention is without mischief. A group of children acquired corgis with odd, elemental powers, and mischief was had.

OOC: Dire Corgis are now available ingame, thanks to gnomish obsession with making things better and in this case, fluffier. You may request this change from staff. Also, our Animal Companion code still doesn't auto-level in chargen. So, you'll need to ping staff when you level, anyhow. We're able to do it from our end; the advance code is just kerflundling.

Stats available here:

OOC2: A big thanks to ASTAREN for featuring the dire corgis in plot! You can read the mischief, here:

Murdered Wizard to Seek Damage Against Apprentices; Third Still on the Loose

As reported in: "No Magic Clues Found in Murder of Wizard," in our Kesenday, Vhast 20 edition, the wizard Maraxos continues to have trouble with his apprentices. The three apprentices left him for dead, only to have Maraxos return to life later as an arcane duplicate.

Two apprentices have been arrested so far. The second apprentice, Tergip the Bloody Lip, attempted the summon of numerous elementals in order to bind them to himself as a source of power. He was prevented in his task by agents from the Adventurer's Guild, though is expected to recover. Manxoff will be seeking ajudication from the Parliament of Magi in punishing his wayward apprentices and a trial is set to begin once all three have been located. Only one remains on the loose, Grinto Bloody-Maw. Enclosed is an artist's render of this individual. If encountered report to the Watch immediately.

OOC: This relates to a story arc by the amazing WHIRLPOOL. Contact him for questions!

Owlbear Sightings--be Wise when Venturing into the Forests this Week

The Tribune has received claims from Wilderness Pointe of owlbear sightings, and sent this reporter to investigate. A survey of those at the Wayfarer's Inn resulted as, one local lumberjack reported, overhearing the distinctive hoot-growl of an unknown number of the beasts near a foresting site. Based on this information, an expedition was sent to find the creatures.

The ranger Ga'Elian happened to be in the pub that same evening, and was able to give a description of the owlbear. He described how that the tracks and other observable signs of owlbears are nearly indistinguishable from those of ordinary bears, in appearance. However, an expert tracker can tell the difference by the depth of the impressions of the forepaw prints versus those of the hindpaw prints, and by the length of the owlbear's gait. In addition, while bears do break branches as they move through the trees, owlbears often leave feathers behind where they push through. Finally, the diet and resulting fewmets of owlbears are somewhat different from those of ordinary bears. For example, owlbears don't seem to feed on honey as much as ordinary bears do. Hunter Ga'Elian did say that he has found owlbears here and there in the woods between Wilderness Pointe and Mictlan, but not anywhere that civilized folk would ordinarily encounter them.

In response to the increased sightings, villagers in Wilderness Pointe have laid up weapons to fend off a potential incursion by the creature. Children are being kept under close supervision at the edges of the village. The innkeeper has volunteered to collect the reports of any who might encounter signs of the beasts too near their community, and the tension among the locals is noticeable. This reporter notes, however, that the country folk of this village are often held to be a touch on the paranoid or trigger-happy side by authorities in Alexandria. Furthermore, Ga'Elian said that the Ygdrassil Union does maintain a vigil in these forests and solves potential problems far more often than the villagers are ever aware of, through methods that city dwellers would rarely expect.

Fashion and Culture
Muscle is out! Slender is in!

Trends in Alexandros come and go with the season, but this season is straight from Llyranost! The Pen's latest work draws on trends; it does not reinvent them. Tall and slender is in, with long flaxen hair. Some nobles are getting ear extensions, to make theirs longer. Togas also, are in style in every variety.

What a season!

OOC: This is all your fault. Everyone's. - Tenebrae Staff

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None this week. :(

Great Paladin Advice Column

While there is no column this week, certain Demon Lords have been filing a higher number than average of claims for health insurance in Taaran temples.

Korday, Eatonis 02, 1019

Alexandrian Tribune

Front Page

Grave-Robbing Artificer Builds Concern

The Vardaman temple has expressed concern publicly over the recent grave robberies that've plagued the local cemetaries lately.

Apparently there were advances made in locating the culprit of this unforgivable defilement of these sacred lands, but when attempts were made to apprehend this heinous individual, resistance was offered in the way of constructs made from what is presumed to be not only the treasured items of the dearly departed, but the departed themselves, turning them into horrific beasts with the ability to still the body and kill the mind. In the fray, the culprit, a goblin survivors name as one 'Gragle', last seen wearing a black wizard's hat, and a ratty robe to match, fled the grasps of justice. It is believed that he will offend again.

The Temple asks that the public report any information they might have regarding this most unfortunate of events, appealing to the kindness of others with the rising slogan seeming to be: "What if it was your family?"

What, indeed?

OOC: This relates to a plot run by the amazing YOKAI! Contact her for details!!

Local Hero Felled

Grisht, a local favorite among Order Paramount battles, was set to fight another well-known and loved competitor in the ring last Kesenday. Instead, Grisht was found by his assistant in one of the preparation rooms. A Mourner confirmed the death just hours later, although preservation was not able to take place until some time after, due to the nature of the incident.

A celebration of Grisht'd life and times is scheduled at vonIronBrew's this coming week. The nature of his death is still under investigation.

OOC: This has become a full-scene, and will be story and legwork focused. I'll be running the brewery scene later next week, as my schedule shakes out. Folks already investigating have priority, ofc! - Lahar

Spiders Attack While Lurking from Alleyways

Late in the morning of Pryntar 27, the Lower Market District was shocked by the sound of a blood-curdling scream from one of its alleys. Witnesses say that two adventurers responded even as shoppers gathered to watch--from a safe distance.

The scream came from Lara Tess, a half-Sildanyari local resident who had been heading into the alley to collect laundry that she had hung to dry. Ms. Tess was both startled and terrified by a trio of giant spiders who had built a web between the shop building she lives in and the next one over.

The Tribune learned that the adventurers who responded were the Sunblade Lysa Hrolfdottr, and the ranger Ga'Elian "Ettin-slayer". Witnesses say that the Sunblade's first action was to pull Ms. Tess out of harm's way, before slicing one of the monsters clean in half with her noble sword. Ga'Elian fired volleys of arrows at both of the other spiders, dropping them quickly. Watch spokesman Titus Cooper reported that the adventurers promptly reported the situation, including what appeared to be an opening into the sewers where the spiders seem to have come from. Measures were taken without delay to stop the opening and clear away the spider mess. Watchman Cooper expressed thanks to the adventurers and appreciation to the Adventurer's Guild for the services they regularly provide to the residents of Alexandria.

OOC: The foregoing was based upon a spontaneous scene RP'd on grid! The log is at

Fashion and Culture

Crimson Cookoff!

In response to our EMERGENCY EDITION, you've sent in your votes! ...and delicious recipes! The Crimson Pen--or is it Pens--are thrilled, and assure us that a draft is already underway. Still, it could go either direction, couldn't it?

- The Tribune

Preparation of Sky Eel

Sent in on behalf of favoring Magelos Jithralla

For those unfamilar, Sky Eel are a common creature from the elemental plane of water, named for their vibrant sky blue color. Easily aquired from a range of arcane sources, many believe this delicacy to be ficticious, or even poisonous; simple misunderstandings from improper preperation.

Sky Eel should be prepared fresh, and the meat spoils rapidly when exposed to air or direct sunlight. The eel can be prepared like any aquatic animal, removing the head, skin, bones, and internal organs, leaving a rubber flesh of sky blue. A this point the flesh is indeed toxic, and should not be consumed. A white or grey flesh has spoiled, and should be discarded. By rubbing the meat with common sea salt, the texture should harden, and the color deeper to a rich navy blue. Simple shake off the excess salt. Any earth based material, such as common dirt, can have a similar effect, but sea salt best preserves the flavor.

Once the meat has been prepared, it can be cooked similar to other fish. This author recommends a light coating of basil and lemon juice before frying in olive oil. A properly cooked Sky Eel will take on bright green highlights, and the meat flake easily. Serve with white wine and asparagus.

Chicken and Rice

Sent in on behalf of Mereth

You will need bacon, 2 cups uncooked white rice, two pound chicken leg quarters, can of cream of mushroom soup, seasonings. Place a layer of fatty bacon along the bottom of a 9x13 cake pan. Pour even layer of 2 cups uncooked white rice. Lay chicken over top of rice, pour cream of mushroom soup over entire pan. Sprinkle with black pepper and oregano. Over with foil, bake at 325F for 30 minutes. Uncover, bake additional 15 minutes. Serve hot.

Pheasant or turkey can easily replace chicken, other cream soups can replace Cream of Mushroom. Common troubles are dry chicken. Make sure to leave skin on, and uncooked rice, which may need additional hydration. Experiment to suit personal tastes.

Delicious Summer Strawberries

On behalf of Magelos Jithralla

As the summer heats up, so can you with simply sensual sliced summer starberries. Begin with stawberries, plucked in the burning heat of a summer sun, sweat glistening. Soak in wet, dripping, water to wash away those impure thoughts. Chill in a private cellar, in the dark, pressed close, hidden from the world above.

With a sharp knife, slice lengthways, revealing the tender flesh within. But be careful, or you might get hurt. Spread the pieces out on a plate, exposed, unashamed, a feast for the eyes and sences. Drizzle with warm, dark chocolate, and rich golden honey, the two mixing, swirling, becomming as one. Consume slowly by candel light, savoring every piece, as the favors explode across your tongue.

Serves two, or more, if you dare.

Sandy Soother

On behalf of Magelos Jithralla

Pie for Pacifying Irate Sandys:

Take one (1) quantity of sweet pastry, and one (1) bottle of High Density Alcoholic Beverage, and roll the pastry out to form a casing for a good-sized deep dish pie pan.

Take a large swig of alcohol. Taste pastry. Toss the entire casing out as a bad job as it's not sweet enough. Take enough alcohol to bring the bottle downto half.

Take three (3) cups sugar, twelve (12) eggs, separate the whites from the yolks, and beat the sugar together with the egg whites until they form soft peaks - but that takes too long so just empty 1/4 of the alcohol into the mixture and give it a sloppy stir. Hoick the whole pie case into a heated oven and bake on the highest possible heat.

Finish the rest of the alcohol in the bottle, take another bottle of same, and finish that too.

By the time the world stops spinning around, the pie ought to be ready, and slightly burnt on the top, which only adds to the flavour. That is, if it hasn't caught fire first. If it has, put out the fire with a swipe of a damp cloth, scrape off the burnt bits, and mix more alcohol with the contents, by which time one can either consume, or imbibe, the resultant mixture. Which ought to then put any irate Sandys to sleep.

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Where in Ea is Severson Sparkthistle?

Our regular, 'Gnomish Traveller' column is replaced by an emergency. Gearbear's cousin Severson has been kidnapped and is being taken across Ea! With your help, the search is underway! Please help us identify the locations in the sketches!

Send your responses to: +request/trib Severson=Your guess!

The Latest Evidence

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How to Identify Severson v. Gearbear

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Balefire Silkworks Rescue!

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Variday, Pryntar 20, 1019


Front Page

Dark Pathways Ahead

Adventurers were dispatched this evening last in response to a cry for help so uncommon that many had at first thought it a hoax; the Lunar Grove, a local druid circle known for their insular and reclusive ways, requested the city's aid in the shadow of heavy losses suffered in the previous months, claiming an inability to properly uphold a natural balance in the outreaching Westwood Copse on the very brink of their perview.

Lead by a scout from 'Dancing Shadows', the militant arm of the unusual grove used primarily for the culling of an overpopulace of predators, the group of wayward warriors encountered a cyclopian threat, complete with what reports have called a 'hunt-to-kill' trained pack of worgs, unindiginous to the area in question. According to the recollection of one such Adventurer, 'Observation: Attempted ambush. Resolution: Elimination. Summation: Mission successful.'

Heavy casualty was sustained by the party, but due to the bravery and will of those involved, it seems that the danger is, for the moment, quelled in the west. Merchants and travellers alike are still warned against the trails that extend through that distant territory without protection, but the way is open, and the possibilities are endless.

OOC: This refers to a prP run by the great Yokai! Contact her for details! Participants were Aodh, Zant, Ollithial, and Sasha!

Chimeria Brings Questions About Its Arrival

A caravan being escorted to the bank of Alexandria was interrupted by a hideous, monstrous Night Hag whom challenged the mercenaries guarding it for the rights to a particular gem in their care. Accepting her challenge (despite apparent rumors of flirations between her and one Aesir warrior), they defeated her pet Chimeras and were able to proceed to the bank and deposit the wealth of owner safely.

She left peacefully, after that, though whispers hint that a gem has gone missing from the bank.

OOC: This ties to a scene by Whirlpool! Contact him for details! Participants were: Alba, Mayahuel, Jokul, Durrankar!

Fashion and Culture

Brews Hopping in Alexandria!

Local brewers are showing their pride this week with new brews. Some are only available this week! Here is what you've had to say...

Lysa Hrolfdottr writes:

Worldgrog's World Grog: Rumlike drink with not just Earthy undertones, but tasted like Rum on the rocks... rocks as in stone and soil.
Blue Banner Ale: Quite good. More traditional ale flavor with the hint of something tangy and metallic. Iron? Bronze? Mithral? Hard to say!
Magmabreaker: Tried burning out my taste buds for good with this one. Lysa didn't even know what Magma was until it was too late. Afterwards, there was a lingering burn. Her review is: Tastes like FIRE.
Deepjaw Stout: Mostly because it was so much cooler than the Magmabreaker, the Stout had a -very- soothing and smooth taste to it. Like caramel though in liquid form and with less sugar. Tasted like it should have been thick... a beer milkshake? Hrmmm...
Strongarm IX: Strong enough to cross the eyes, a good bitter taste to it. Drink enough, and it will fool you into thinking you are far stronger than you really are. Well-named bew!

Thank you, Lysa! Keep sending in your reviews, and celebrating the Festival!

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The Nar-sektoth was really bugged by this incident. In fact, when we handed them the script, they ripped it.

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Great Paladin Advice Column

The Great Paladin reports that Charn's weather is terrible this time of year, but then it is always terrible. Column returning as soon as she makes it back from her vacation! May the corpses of evil cleanse the earth before you, as a kindly, comforting carpet!

The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle is returning from Blar this week! Please send in your letters--where should he go, next??

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to:


Spring Staves!

Spring Staves! Mithralla Merchandise now offers a line of magical staves! From fire to ice to the ever famed Staff of Power, Mithralla Merchandise now offers a wide range of arcane staves. Located on the Mountain Road, under the giant sword, Mithralla Merchandise continues to offer a wide range of quality magical items, crafted from local mateirals, with over two centuries of crafting experience.

Seeking Stories!

Want to spread RUMORS? SLANDAR? ...or just tell everyone about that awesome PrP you just ran, or roleplay you'd had? Send it to the Tribune! We give out bonus RPP for every article when we publish! (Publication cycle is every 2 weeks, earlier if we have enough articles.)

Tariday, Pryntar 07, 1019


Front Page

Conspiracy Uncovered

Sir Enworth Steadyhand, speaking for the Alexandros Ministry of Internal Affairs, told the Tribune, "On Tariday, Vhast 31st officials of Alexandria's Watch took into custody a Charneth national who styled herself Lady Jaquetta. This Jaquetta was arrested on charges of conspiracy to commit necromancy and (a badly attempted) conspiracy to overthrow the government of Alexandros. In addition, condemning evidence was sent to the royal government of Dun Mordren, as the evidence pointed to another conspirator allegedly being in Khazadi jurisdiction. The Ministry now possesses conclusive evidence of the conspiracy, including detailed plans, but for reasons of public security has decided to withhold further information from public dissemination, but does with to thank members of the Adventurer's Guild for their assistance.

The Tribune has learned that the evidence upon which the arrest warrant for Lady Jaquetta was issued ties back to the story we reported two issues ago, in which we told of a mysterious box that was delivered to Professor Argus Bumblebottom of the Artificers' Hall from a wreckage of a wagon in the mountains. When we asked Professor Bumblebottom to shed more light on Sir Enworth's statement, he replied, "The box was merely a secure container for the incriminating documents. Once I saw what was on those pages, I made all due haste to alert the authorities."

Lady Jaquetta's arrest took place at the suite she had been renting at the Fernwood Public House. When Watch officials arrived to execute the warrant, a further search was made of her rooms, in which was found a make-shift laboratory for the construction of a flesh golem, and a shrine to Thul. The Fernwood Pub's management told the Tribune that clean-up was already well underway, thanks to the generous assistance of volunteers from the Shovelers of St. Rarvin.

OOC: Contact Ga'Elian for rumors!

New Brews Bingo!

This Kegger Fest, be sure to hunt down these new, Khazad Duin-inspired brews in the city. Although nothing will be revealed until the holiday, we've received reports of the following new drinks to hit the streets, restaurants, and food carts of Alexandros:

  • Magmabreaker
  • Woldgrog's World Grog
  • Deepjaw Stout
  • Earthbrand Haleshaker
  • Limeg's Blue Banner Ale
  • Blue Gobber Bitters
  • Rosey-Nosey
  • Old Peculiar Cavern
  • Strongarm IX

To help you out, we've attached a "Keggerfest Bingo" to this edition. Be sure to cut out the card, and check off new drinks as you encounter, and try them! Festival goers who try every brew will win a unique prize from the Tribune!

OOC: Please send Lahar an @mail if you do this, or if you'd like to ensure you get an extra, bonus RPP with it, send in your review of the Kegger Fest brews to the Tribune!

Fashion and Culture

Toga-tastic Fashion Trends Sweeps Alexandria!

Following a sweeping fashion change among the Myrrish royal elite, shops in Alexandros are struggling to import togas. The Prestigious Moon received their first shipment this week. By all accounts, shop owner Lady Sandiel Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn was ecstatic. Her wife stood by, weeping tears of joy at the fashion trend.

When asked about the new fashion, Lady Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn replied: "Well I certainly did say they were the mode, didn't I? Hm? Oh, no, this isn't gin I'm pouring in my coffee, not at all."

The Tribune is pleased to report that all togas sold out within a short period--after a visit to the prestigious store later that evening, none were to be found!

OOC: This relates to the Fashion plot, run by Whirlpool! Contact him, or Abrahil, Ga'Elian, Kravar, Myrana, Selerik, Stirling, Verna, or Thyrson for details.

Kegger Fest for Foodies!

Although the focus of Kegger Fest has traditionally been on getting smashed, foodies in the city can expect a plethora of new offerings. The nod between Khazad Duin's and Alexandros' adventuring community is partially responsible, though it is also true that post-Shadows, khazadi culture has been becoming more influential world-wide.

This festival, look for as many as 24 new drinks this season, from established brewing-houses in Alexandros, as well as the explosion in the robust fare we've come to expect of khazadi cuisine. In Vadran, Stoneworks' Calzones appears to have gotten the jump on celebrations, but for foodies, don't expect that to be the end of the story.

This festival, expect to experience an explosion in the variety of mushroom-based brews. Rich, poingant and flavorful, these broews go well with any khazadi-inspired items you'll find on menus this week, and the Festival is an opportune time to try them. Popular sides include the crispy, yet rich breads farmed from the underearth's mossflower and litchensgra. With these dishes, expect a mushroom or lichen-derived oil, and rock salt, to be placed on the table.

Any new khazadi-inspired meat dishes are not to be missed this festival season. Freshwater mollusks, tusklizard tailchips, lichen salads, and tide-eel on mossflower biscuits represent just some of the variety to be had. Whatever the dish, expect to be served a good, strong drink alongside it, and a helping of their poignant but flavorful taevar sauce. Taevar is uniquely khazad. Made from an eyeless, underground fish, it is fermented through a special process to achieve its unique flavor, which some describe as possessing an initial bite--that explodes in a deep burst of flavor along the back of the tongue.

As a major sea port, Alexandros' seafood dishes pair well in general with Khazad Duin's taevar sauce. Even if you're avoiding the tide-eel, the sauce could be the one item to try this festival season.

Stoneworks' Announces New Mead!

Stoneworks' newest drink offering is a nod to Alexandria's heritage, with a khazadi flair. The crisp yet sweet, 'Northmountain Golden Apple' stands as the fourth drink to the sturdy menu. Its selection followed loud, thunderous debate, during which Embma and Jaruda Shaletracker had to call for order several times. Northmountain is produced by a connection to Lysa Hrolfdottr, of the northern mountain lands.

Present during the debate were the Shaletracker couple, Lysa, Astaren, Dubtle, Hildr, Khogh Dorahl, and numerous neighbors and extended family.

OOC: This connects to the recent Meetup! Log here:

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Great Paladin Advice Column

There is no Great Paladin this week, as the Great Paladin is visiting the Hells on a holiday, because somehow this is a good idea. We wish you well, Great Paladin!

The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on BLAR!

What can I say of Blar, but that as I crested the hills, I understood immediately how Bludgun had named it the CRIMSON BASTION! Blar is certainly a display of arvek industriousness, and any war chief would think thrice and twenty times before attacking it! Yet, I Gearbear Sparkthistle descended the hill fearlessly!

Arvek organisation is such that the devastations of the Sendor War and following Taara's Tears seem only a memory--at least compared to the rest of the world. It's said they put this same strength to all of their endeavors! Hearing this of course I, Gearbear, saw it as a challenge! And opportunity, of course! What great traveler endures without mighty bunions? Could this finally be the place to ease them? I wondered but alas--I was never to find out. Read on, brave traveler!

Advek industriousness, as you tour the city, knows no limits and fewer bounds! The arvek have rebuilt not only homes, but streets and walls! From earlier accounts in the Tribune, we know of the devastation of not one, but two wars prior to the Tears: witnesses spoke of crumbled stone and blood-red walls. And yet...

...yet, today the city is a military marvel! With a few new quirks, I might add. Quite unexpectedly, the arvek are now experimenting with color! Why. ...quite a few colors, enough that I lost track of them all. Within the walls is an almost blinding array of them--though knowing the arvek, rainbows may well be a secret weapon!

Upon speaking to one of the guards (or a normal citizen, I couldn't tell exactly you know, what with the marching and saluting and all that!) I was assured that nothing in Blar is unuseful or frivolous! At this, the arvek have given me no reason to doubt them, though I do wonder at their naming conventions. While visiting I was led to "Thirstplace," which was of course, a place to wet your throat as well as "Bootsoff," which was a resting area for the military.

Hrmm. At this place, I was looking for easment of my bunions. I thought I had found it, when I approached an older gentleman, who seemed to know his way around. see, there are no OLD arvek. Or if there are, they are such who have survived horrifying tales! Bedlam! And terror!

This ancient told me that yes, while I stood within the temple district--an area of great majesty, I might add! The temples were built on top of an ancient ziggurat! That, underneath area renamed "Don'tvisit" by locals, it's said to contain the corpse of a Child of Thul, as well as the entire stock of romance novels written by the former Crimson Hand cultists. They assure me the latter involved tales of Zombiesflutter, a Thulian-Taaran genre featuring muls and zombies, made originally as a cultish celebration of that unholy alliance.

Er. ...well! With that, I was forced to end my visit, and look forward to exploring many, many other places on Ea! Please do write to me at the Tribune!

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OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to:

Eliday, Vhast 29, 1019

Front Page

Chasm Opens Near Genrivia, Area Yet More Dangerous

A chasm opened in the Badlands area near Genrivia. Reports suggest that when it opened, the sky turned purple and began to shimmer.

The Guild dispatched adventurers to investigate. While the full results of the investigation are pending, the Guild was able to respond to our inquiries in a limited fashion. The area the chasm erupted in, according to the Guild, is now in ruins. The sky remains purple in color.

Rumors suggest the presence of Kulthian artificery, and statements from local government appear to support this conclusion. Rogan Gormander, an attache to the council of Alexandria, issued a statement that seemed to indicate that the military has sealed off the area after adventurers addressed the problem. He states: "We had a brief incursion of Kulthian artifice that activated from ambient mana. These things happen," he added.

The Exploratory Associates have urged caution in approaching the chasm. Spokesman Hurdrizh Silverarm, Forge of Reos, stated that: "The horror of the Kulthians remains in all minds. Because of that, we support investigations to identify the true cause of the disruption, and urge caution but not alarm. Although unlikely, if a Kulthian source is confirmed, we would of course cooperate to ensure its full removal, and the safety of Alexandros at large."

OOC: This relates to plots run by Whirlpool! Please contact him for rumors and legwork.

Doorbreaking Fans Kick On Through!

With the conclusion of the latest 'Doorbreaker Trials,' the Guild issued an announcement today suggesting that the Trials themselves may go back further than they'd been aware.

"We were aware of them competing once, in 1009, but recent documents suggest that they may go back 10, 20 years before that," Guildsofficer Korim Zathasdi said in a written statement. "Even more exciting, we may have found documents relating to this era, though there's nothing official we can reveal at this time."

In the meantime, the Doorbreaker Trials have inspired their own fandom. Khazad smiths, inspired by the strength and ingenuity displayed in the trials, have begun selling their own version of 'Doorbreaker Boots'. So far, boots with iron studding have proven most popular.

OOC: This relates to Selerik's Doorbreaker Trials!

Fashion and Culture

Results of Doorbreaker Trials In, Round One!

The Guild posted the winners of the recent Doorbreaker Trials to the Guild Hall this morning, to much fanfare. Each name included the number of trials that adventurer had completed. In order, the named were:

Alba <4>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Claw, Corset of the Vishkanya, Feather Fall hex, Creepy Hair Hex
Azog <2>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Earthbreaker
Boshter <4>
Equipment Used: None!
Elisabeth <8>
Equipment Used: Knife, Shatter Spell
Fazahd <2>
Equipment Used: Adamantine Bastard Sword
Ga'Elian <18>
Equipment Used: Ring of Feather Fall, Dagger, Glowing Rapier
Munch <5>
Equipment Used: Eyes of the Eagle, Feather Fall spell, Adamantine Greatclub
Zenia <9>
Equipment Used: Goblin Any Tool

OOC: This relates to Selerik's Doorbreaker Trials!

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Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! Can arvek digest waffles, or are they too cursed to eat this naturally angelic foodstuff?
A: Perhaps this question should be put to a live experimentation. And I implore anyone who offers any arvek nar waffles, in the interest of scientific study, to be sure not to lace the waffles with sedatives. Or laxatives. Or arsenic.
I know some of you are considering it. And all I can say to that is, for shame. And make sure it doesn't trace back to me.
Q: Great Paladin, if beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, how many Beholders should I hunt to acquire it?
A: I wish I found it surprising that a hobgoblin finds beauty in a beholder. And I shouldn't judge. On the other hand, judging is what paladins do. Nevermind those upstart Inquisitors trespassing into portfolios they should keep themselves well clear of. So I will judge. Boshter, if you ever have any hope of rising above your shameful origins, I would suggest you stop holding monsters like beholders in such high regard.
Q: If a judge gives me an answer I don't like and I think it's evil, do I have permission to judge the judge?
A: Are you a paladin? Of course not. You are a hobgoblin. So no, you are in no position to judge. This grieves me, but such is life. As for weasels, yes. The little bastards are evil. Just think of their beady little eyes, so much like a hobgoblin. Or their slithery bodies, so much like a goblin. The way they live in holes in the ground, so much like gnomes.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I received letters requesting I travel to BLAR! Look for my exploits in the next edition when we travel to a land both terrifying, and orderly!

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to:

Personal and Editorials

Recruiting: Hands of Ithildin

In light of recent events, the Hands of Ithildin have stepped up recruiting efforts in Alexandria! They are known for their practical approach to the spread of medicine in poor communities. The Hands are a primarily female, and Althean, organization that is spread across the globe. Men serve in the Hand as well, though primarily as guards (though there are female guards, too).

OOC: Interested in joining some Ithildins for RP? Contact: Diemma (Iadoth), Mayahuel (Abrahil), or Bjoric (Sebropert)!

Org Page: Hands of Ithildin

Recruiting: Dorfs!

Do you dorf? Do you like to drink strong ale, admire your manly beard or womanly mane in the mirror for hours on end? Do you wear adamantine boots, or dream of owning them someday?

You're in luck!

Come down to STONEWORKS' CALZONES, the hottest, most awesome dorf hangout ongrid! We sing the dorf national anthem of GOLD GOLD GOLD! every hour on the hour, followed by a rousing ruckus of BEER BEER BEER!

Contact: Ilmig, Dubtle, Knogh Dural, Hildr, or Eberk (Jareth)!

Kesenday, Vhast 20, 1019


Front Page

Possible Peace Between Rune and Dranei?

Rumors from the north indicate that Rune and Dranish forces of the Iron Tide are nearing a settlement. Negotiations have been torturous, but there is a consistant drumbeat. Signs of good faith are beginning to emerge, such as prisoner exchanges and meetings in Dranei territories between veterans in an effort to dispel mutual distrust and hatred. These are probably not going well, all things considered, but thre IS an attempt.

OOC: This is related to the Dran and Rune arc, by Whirlpool


In an EMERGENCY EDITION, we reported the scandalous end to Alexandria's greatest 'Mystery of Mysteries,' a series wrought by the mysterious author, the Crimson Pen. Within their pages, we joined our beloved heroes, Jyrana, Mereth, and Dandy through their trials, tribulations and ultimately, Jyrana's great betrayal.

In response to this GRAVE INJUSTICE, Alexandrians picketed the Prestitious Moon. On the third day of protests, the Crimson Pen made her, or should we say their, appearance!

In response, Ladies Myrana and Sandy have issued a joint statement:

The Crimson Pen is an inaccurate butt. The consequences of his or her sloppy storytelling is apparently people getting hooked on the idea that there is some truth to the pernicious slander he is spreading. We would like to issue a statement indicating that there is no truth to the rampant speculation and we deny any connection to the characters in the Pen's stories. Also, he is a butt and will get his face stoved in shut up that's not that illegal yes it is that's how you get arrested nuh uh.

A full account of the event is included later in this edition.

Editor's Note: Crimson Justice!

OOC: This is related to the Crimson Pen series, by Lahar

Wagon Crash in Alexandria Due to Weather, One Dead

The City Watch recently issued a Travel Advisory warning of extreme ice hazards on the Mountain Road.

On Korday, Vhast 19, the body of an as-yet-unidentified Storm Dwarf teamster was delivered to Watch officials by the ranger Ga'Elian, who claimed to have discovered the body at the wreckage of a wagon on the side of a mountain northeast of the City.

Watch spokespan Sergeant Blackstone informed the Tribune that the ranger reported "the tracks indicated that the teamster must have lost control of the wagon on an icy cliff just before sunrise", and that the wagon was smashed on the mountainside below.

The City Coroner confirmed that the teamster died from severe impact trauma. The smashed wagon was marked in Khazadi runes with the name of the Redridge Freight Company, a well-known and respected carrier.

The only known cargo was an artifice box that is being analyzed as this edition goes to press, by Professor Argus Bumblebottom, Dean of Kulthian Studies at the Engineers Enclave. Asked about the current status of his analysis, Dean Bumblebottom would only say that the box was "a very significant find." At this time, the Tribune has yet to ascertain who sent the box or where it was to be delivered.

OOC: Submitted by Ga'Elian, contact him for rumors!

No Magic Clues Found in Murder of Wizard

A gnomish wizard by the name of Maraxos has been murdered. His clone--which is actually him--has been restored. Don't ask. Wizards have no sense of right and wrong, really. His three apperntices, a trio of half-oruchs, have apparently stolen a great deal of elemental power from his estate near the Mythwood. Anyone who sees the still-free Tergip the Bloody Lip and Grinto Bloody-Maw are to report to the Constabulary immediatley.

OOC: This is related to Loose Apprentices, by Whirlpool

Undead in Bludgun?

Reports from Bludgun indicate worrying movements on its border from masses of undead beyond their northern fortifications. The giant-lead nation is one of the first nations to sign with Alexandria to sign a treaty against Dragonier. The treaty aims to encircle Dragonier as part of a plan to retake the lost lands.

OOC: Contact Whirlpool for legwork

Mimic Mountain?

Unconfirmed reports of mimics in the Red Mountains have circulated within the Adventurer's Guild of late. Some adventuring groups report having seen them, while others suggest that the rumors are all hear-say. As of publication, the Guild was unable to provide an official report.

OOC: This is related to Mana Crystals, run by Astaren

Endangered Spider Farm...Endangered!

An unusual number of large spiders have been spotted near Balefire Silkworks Spider Farm in the Felwood. Silkworks is known as a "Freaky Magical Creatures (and spiders) Rehabilitation Center." Its manager, Witch Alba, was able to be reached for a statement:

" seems that a city of spiders within the Felwood saw my farm as new territory to control. They have been discouraged. The spiders I tend, they remain fat and happy, and thus it will continue. A thing I wish to be known; kind I was, to these invaders, though I did not need to be. Much kindness have I spent, and no more do I hold for those who would take what is mine by force."

Further reports are on hold, as everyone is terrified to go near the place.

OOC: This is related to The Spiders of Felwood, run by Astaren

Fashion and Culture

Hayatiento Aerie Opens in Redridge Mountains

With the assistance of Magus Raethon and a number of adventurers, the egalrin are beginning to settle into the Hayatiento Aerie. With the 'Dreamweave' now over the aerie, an accomplishment due in part also to Magus Astaren, the Egalrin there have taken up a quiet vigil over Alexandria and the forest from their place high up in the Red Ridge Mountains, located near the Spire.

The Council of Elders, led by Aodhkane, daughter of Kanitte, has recently named a 'Gaothai-Hogo', roughly translated means 'Air Guardians' in the tongue of the egalrin. Nerek-hai, Daughter of Terak-fa, an egalrin with red head feathers and a silver crest, was named a Gaothai-Hogo of the Hayatiento Aerie. It is the hope of the Council that she will lead with the wisdom of Ciernan and Ceiwan.

Another, yet odder egalrin has become part of the aerie as well, an egalrin that seems to command the air element herself. A druid named Masamya, follower of the Green Word. The Council reports that Masamya has also given honors to the Huntress aspect of Eluna in the Green Word, a connection all but lost to the egalrin's history.

Local egalrin Pelka also attended the ceremony. Pelka is known for his talent with artifice, and may become an important member in advancing the local aerie's knowledge and understanding of the craft.

OOC: Log of the event: Hayatiento Aerie Opening (MEETUP)

Interview: Roselle, Mistress of Weasels!'

Features: Roselle

Interview by: Astaren

From the interview: Not that she's forgotten Astaren either, because she does answer him, albeit slightly distracted by Aya's problem. "Aye, joke it was back in the day, because somehow, if there's a weasel in the vicinity I'll find it no matter what. Stick an arm down a rabbit hole and a weasel'll be hanging off it when I come back up --weasel pie? Yes, I make a fucking good weasel pie. Just ask Sandy."

Full Interview: Full Interview

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The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on STORMGARDE!

Stormgarde is a frontier nation, known for its chill and wind. The Icegate Mountain Range frams its north side, where Maugrim himself is said to have made his citadel. Lord Ygfried Hamergostd is the current ruler of the nation. His shoulders are almost as wide as mine! Bravo, Ygfried! We will oil ourselves up sometime, and have manly contests for who is strongest!

Depicted below are some of their oldest mountains. You can see the erosion! The area where Maugrim had made his terror-citadel is said to be as craggy, and as dangerous, as ancient days, however. Someday soon, I may pay a visit!

Perhaps you might like to send your letters!

The Gnomish Traveler in Stormgarde:
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OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to:

Kesenday, Vhast 13, 1019


Front Page

A Storm of Snowballs!

In the past several days, reports have been received of piles of snowballs being found throughout the City of Alexandria. Prominent locations include the riverbanks of the Tormawr, the Memorial Gardens District, the campus of the Bardic College, Goblintown, the Festival Grounds, and the very courtyard of the Castellum Alexandrae. At first, these mysterious piles of harmless ammunition were first spotted in the early dawn hours after snow storms in the night. Soon, however, the phenomenon began to spread.

As one might expect, the sudden appearance of so many ready-made snowballs resulted in the break-out of nearly as many spontaneous snowball fights (shoppers, tax collectors, and some clergy seeming to be reluctant targets of hidden assailants). The City Watch has asked that those employing these snowballs please refrain from interrupting the business of the City and its merchants, and has doubled patrols around the airship and sea ports.

At present, City Watch officials claim that they have no idea who started the whole affair, but suspect that certain mischievous adventurers may be to blame. They particularly caution the public to beware in Sage Orum's Plaza, where the old rivalry between the Arcanists and the Engineers schools have added magical effects to the snowball fights, and also to take special care in the vicinity of any known followers of Tarien.

Draconic Rituals?

Recently you may have seen the glow over the forests of the North Woods. While many times mysterious lights are a cause for worry in Alexandria, today is an occasion of celebration! A special ritual took place amongst the Sith-makar shamans and the allies of Mictlan, renewing the sanctity and security of that sacred place.

Far from the isolationism of others, an olive branch was offered to all who could enter and abide by the rules of the caretakers. One memorable attendee was a Jotun, who brought an offering of enough ale for all their twice over.

With tokens and gestures of goodwill from both the Sith-makar shamans and guests, the renewal of the magics there was a succeed. The resulting celebration lasted well into the next night, with dancing and drinks for all. This writer hopes to see more stories of true camaraderie in coming months.

Reosian Vistor Takes to Alexandria

The local Shrine of Reos is pleased to report the visitation of an aged priest of their faith into the city. The Forge is reported to have served the faithful a number of years, though in his youth he was affectionately known as "Shackles."

He is expected to stay through the month.

"Shackles" reports that he is here to visit family, and expects to conclude his business after that time.

Fashion and Culture
The Gnomish Traveler

Gearbear Sparkthistle sends his regards, but is out and about this week! We hope to see him back, next issue!

OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to:

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin! How much snow does it take to make a Sandy the Snow-elf?
A: Sandy is indeed hot headed. However, this does not make a Snow-Elf Sandy impossible. Hot headedness is an exothermic process. Theoretically, if one could make Sandy angry enough all of the heat would be released, leaving behind a subject that would be cool enough to emulate with snow. This is, however, ill advised. It is well known that Sandy is powered by the very heart of Hell. Causing her to release all of that energy would lay waste to creation as we know it.
Q: Great Paladin, if it takes only one gnome to cause the apocalypse, how many would it take to PREVENT it?
A: You have heard the phrase, fight fire with fire? Much like fighting forest fires by burning the land in the fire's part so that the two fires meet and then have nothing left to consume, this theory can be applied to gnomes. You would need one gnome for every gnome causing the apocalypse. But the gnomes would have to be equal in every way. Height, weight, annoyance factor. For if one were to survive it would carry on with the apocalypse. In this humble paladin's opinion, better to simply stop the problem before it begins. Permanently. With extreme prejudice.
Q: How much wood would a Lucht Siuil chuck if a Lucht Siuil would chuck wood?
A: Is this a euphamism for something? Everyone knows halfings don't actually /work/. I suppose I would have to say none, since the entire scenario stretches the boundaries of possibility a little too far.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

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Personal and Editorials

From the Diary of an Anonymous Mul'niessa

Submitted by Anonymous

My journey to Alexandria has been a fascinating one. One fraught with danger and confusion as I adjusted to the world outside the world crafted meticulously by the Shadow Council. But to begin with what you likely wish to hear from me, I am mul'niessa. A shadow elf, one of the feared creatures who live or in my case once lived under the thumb of Taara. Too often I saw as a child things only the most unfortunate children of this land have seen. Things no child should see. Blood, torture, slavery, things I dare not write to the tribune lest I shock the good people who read this article. Nevertheless, darkness cannot destroy light. I found within this bleak and malicious world a light of my own. Another mul'niessa, met in childhood as friends and later lovers. She was my light, my security, and my promise of truth in a world of lies. Perhaps thought I, that two young women could find a life of happiness together, that we needn't sacrifice each other to gain power. This was a cruel lie.

Before I continue on, one must understand something about Taara's clergy. She promotes individualism, individualism unfettered by morality or conscience. If it advances you, then damned be the creature that steps in your way. They could be an enemy, a stranger, a friend, family, or the love of your life. She would ask all things to be sacrificed at her altar, and to say otherwise is dire betrayal to her. As such, she has no unified order amongs we mul'niessa, and ultimately those proven to be her clergy are met with respect and caution all the same. It was my respect and lack of caution that doomed my lover.

Approaching me, the priest told me to slay an enemy of Taara for her favor. My heart lept at such a thought, to serve my goddess so directly. Giving me a dagger of blackest night, he bid me proceed to a portion of our markets where he knew my mark was to arrive. He told me not whom I was to slay, only that it was of utmost necessity. In this, I did not question him as it seemed to me that it would be to question Taara herself. It was only when I saw my mark's face that I realized my mistake. 'Twas the woman I love that I saw, and she I. Though cloaked and masked, my hesitation she took for the truth of it. I could not find it in myself to kill her, sooner would I tear out my own heart.

Conferring regarding the assassination I was so ordered to carry out, I showed her the dagger in explanation. It was only then that my own hand moved without my will and sank it into her own heart. I heard nothing save for cruel laughter, and knew that just as I was told to betray my lover, so too was I betrayed by the one who had sent me. The will of Taara was enacted such as he would have me believe, even as I did not partake of such will.

Not only that, but he brought me before an official of the shadow council's regime and had me declared a traitor. Stripped of all worth, treated as a pariah and my family much the same. I was instructed from that time on to forgo the use of my family name, once shame and now pride. I no longer wish to call those who bow before a wicked goddess kin. Were it not for a distant uncle's arrival, I would have languished and taken my lot as outcast to be righteous. 'Twas he who showed me the lies of Taara, the black-hearted evil that ran throughout our society. At first, I could not believe it. I had been raised on the words of the Shadow Council, all that they said was my world. Yet I saw the lies for what they were in the coming years. It shook me, within my own mind I screamed as I scraped by for what I needed to survive. I cried as I saw my lover's remains thrown into the refuse heap. I chased the bats and beetles from her body night after night, each time futile as other vermin came to further desecrate her corpse. And in my sorrow and anguish, I could only think of the two words my uncle had said. "Taara lies".

Some time later, he returned as I had learned to cope in whatever small ways I could. I was to be taken out of the city, shown the world beyond. I accepted, for if a lie brought me to my knees then perhaps the truth could set me upon my feet again. It was this time in the cool night that I saw the sky, the great silver face of Eluna and the countless stars. It was alien to me, but a wonder all the same. Over time I acclimated to the sun, first by dawn, then by morning, then the blazing noon. Disguises were donned, and we walked amongst the people as Llyranesi, as children of the dawn. I saw that the poor did not suffer in anguish, but were to work to sustain themselves. I saw that the rich did not break others beneath their whips, and courtesy was of patience and respect rather than fear. Your world is different, and different for the better. Over time, I was offered the chance to stay in the upper world yet my thoughts did not long stray from vengeance. The priest who had moved mine hand to slay all that I cared for in this world was the subject of my ire. Yet even as I saw him dead, I found it could not satisfy. I wanted more blood, more violence even as I knew such things would do me no good and harden my heart to make me the monster you might fear me to be as you live beneath the sun as I once did not. So I left. I could not walk a path of vengeance if Taara's own supplicants were not near me, and my soul would not fall to hate if I could not avenge myself and my lover upon them. And thus, my presence in Alexandria. Far, far from home, far from hate, and far from painful memories.

Ceriday, Vhast 7, 1019


Front Page

And End to Mysteries...?

Earlier today, the Crimson Pen announced her (or his) "final tale in this mystery of mysteries!" We have enclosed the letter, below.

Dear reader,
This tale has been a labor of love for me, one that I have delighted in sharing with you. I have loved these characters as though my own children, and like you, wept at Mereth's manful death. In his memory, I commit to you, this last in our tale. ...the story of Jyrana and Dandy.
My Dearest Darlings,
The Crimson Pen

Yet, it is with a sorrowful heart that I report that we, the readers, receive no absolution from this edition. Instead, we see the innocent Dandy captured by Jyrana's treacherous arms! Mereth's death by Jyrana's poisoning remains unavenged!


We publish today to demand a CALL FOR JUSTICE! The Crimson Pen has squandered Mareth's mighty manfulness, and paired his one true love with the despicable Jyrana! This cannot stand.

Today, I join with other fans to picket the Prestigious Moon! We will protest this ending!

OOC: This will be a Scene, so please see +events! PERHAPS THE CRIMSON PEN WILL APPEAR. In the meantime! BONUS RPPS FOR ANYONE WHO PICKETS THE PRESIGIOUS MOON TO PROTEST THIS UNJUST ENDING! (Or if you support it! Perhaps Jyrana could be reformed!)

OOC2: The Prestigious Moon has been renamed appropriately, to reflect this SCANDAL.

Ceriday, Khael 31, 1018


Front Page


by Nilou Farsens Scribbetter!

I, Nilou Farsens Scribbetter of the Alexandrian Tribune, was pleased to receive an invite to the "Fireworks and Cogs" soiree at Sage Orum's this last Variday! While it is normally a small affair, it nonetheless delights with its winter splendor. I have always seen the soiree as rare meeting of Magi and Artifus, with attendees putting aside explosions and spells for the moment, to dance and socialize in costume, each decked in delightful tokens of their art.

The magi were particularly well dressed this year, perhaps due to Madame Gelfure's influence. Their sorcerous lead is largely responsible for the Society of Progressive Arcanists' venture into the fashion industry, as well as other endeavors that have proved not only opportune, but also highly profitable for her guild. While the ideas were scoffed at in the beginning, the results (and wealth) were on display.

In contrast, the Exploratory Associates of Alexandria University, or more commonly the Artificer's Guild, bore mechanized suits and attached small, novel clockworks to their finery. While colorful and...novel, the Guild has had its resources strained of late, and it showed.

A minor upset occurred when Magus Kithbore and Artifus Clankstaff noticed they were wearing similar footwear. While not an issue for Kithbore, the style was one promoted recently by the head of the Society, Madame Gelfure. A longtime opponent of the Society, it was a difficult moment for the Artifus, who is reported to have left the party early, muttering obscenities and tossing a bomb at a nearby plant.

The Gnomish Traveler: Ancient Dragonier!

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveler and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on Dragonier, determined to take your letters with me!

And, take them I did! I felt you with me as together, we stood at Heth's doorstep and SHOUTED our demands! What a sight to behold it was! Until our daring adventuring community can wight the wrongs (haha!) Dragonier remains a desolate, though EXCITING landscape!

Yet, while preparing for my trip, I found this smallest of treasures. A picture of Dragonier's former glory! I of course, am included in the image, but simply find it in yourself to look past my illustrious, manly figure to the wonder beyond.

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OOC: Want to photobomb the gnome across Ea? Point your favorite image editor to: and send it in!

Fashion and Culture

Tribune Trails Comic

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A Series of Interviews

As part of our Yule celebrations, we at the Tribune have contracted everyday citizens, and asked them to explore the diversity that is Alexandria! Alexandria is one of the melting pots of the world. Please enjoy the series in this and future editions!

OOC: PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN YOUR INTERVIEWS! We are still handing out rewards, and expect publications to continue! You can receive awards for every 2 interviews you share! Also, sending in other rumors and articles, or doodles! awards RPP.

Interview: Fazahd Masterbuilder, Enginebreaker of Reos!'

Features: Fazahd Masterbuilder, Enginebreaker of Reos (no charpage)

Interview by: Selerik, who is suspiciously not Jibbom (no charpage)

To hear Selerik tell the story, his interview with Fazahd began with the statement: "Well, there is a fellow at the Tribune who has been asking me to help him. It occurs to me you might be inspirational, if you're alright with carrying the burden of some public scrutiny?"

It turns out, Fazahd was not.

Editor's Note: A transcript of what follows is included, below. You may read the full scene here.

Selerik: Well, let's see. What advice would you give someone seeking their purpose in life?
Fazahd: My advice would be to live despite the challenges this world gives us, to strive to make one's world better as much as one's life, and to look after those around you. The one who lives for only oneself lives as they will ultimately die: alone.
Selerik: Sound advice from the bane of spiders of all sizes. <he pauses, thoughtfully> Not really done an interview before, so let me ask you want you'd want to answer? The question you think should be asked? And the answer.
Fazahd: Just ask. I will tell you if I choose not to answer - but I shall try my best to be transparent.
Selerik: How about a tip for someone in your profession? Something a hopeful following your exact path might need to know, to keep their head on."
Fazahd: Judge, but do not condemn without evidence. Down that road leads hubris and poisoning of the soul.
Selerik: Good enough.

Editor's note: Here, the two parted ways, but were able to pick up the interview on a second evening. Again, you may find the full transcript here.

Selerik: What is your favorite food?
Fazahd: Winter is here, and I would like to be able to make a recipe to feed many. My favorite food is Aghzam, a Khazad food, baked meat and fungus pie.
Selerik: Why did you become an adventurer?
Fazahd: I was a priest. A Forge of Mighty Reos. It is paramount for every priest to see to the people, whomever they might be, and protect them from evil. That requires that one step out of the temple and take up arms whenever one can. If one wants to be a proper servant, at least.
Selerik: What advice would you give someone seeking their purpose in life?
Fazahd: My advice would be to live despite the challenges this world gives us, to strive to make one's world better as much as one's life, and to look after those around you. The one who lives for only oneself lives as they will ultimately die: alone.
Selerik: How about a tip for someone in your profession?
Fazahd: Judge, but do not condemn without evidence. Down that road leads hubris and poisoning of the soul.

Interview: Maraxus De'Centi, of the Starchasers Tribe from the Vast!

Features: Maraxus De'Centi (no charpage)

Interview by: Aznara Elis'tralee

Aznara: What is your name?
Maraxus: "Maraxus De'Centi, of the Starchasers Tribe from the Vast. Son of Lexia De'Centi, guide to the Starchasers tribe."
Aznara: Would you describe yourself, in your own words?
Maraxus: "Describe myself. A most difficult challenge. I am an a actor, for I perform plays and take on personalities not my own. I am a singer, for my voice is my weapon as it is my fancy. A song to be sung, as the ears are rung. I am a dance. I am a musician, as you have already seen me play. Yet what I am most passionate about, is my story telling. The Hymn takes many forms, and sometimes the most subtle and the most powerful is the story. Simply put, I am a Bard."
Aznara: Would you be willing to, briefly please, summarize your favorite tale?
Maraxus: "Ahh it is an old classic, a grim classic if you will. Love their work, and so hard to find it in today's world. Even the old masters cannot always track down their stories. There is one I did find though, The Cat and the Mouse in Partnership. A tale of creatures that are what they are. A friendship that ever there was, until the cat was hungry and ate the mouse."
Aznara: Clearly, your way with words, your way with music... these are strengths and talents of yours. Is there one thing you wish you could do well, a special talent you lack and wish you did have?
Maraxus: "I wish I were able to speak more languages. I know so few, and it would help me learn so many more tales."
Aznara: Is there anything you've not done in your life that you hope to someday do?
Maraxus: "I want to weave a story, a story so powerful that everybody can hear the hymn like I do. To share the beauty of creation in a way that we hear in legends of the bards of old."
Great Paladin Advice Column

The Great Paladin sends her regards, but is off and marching against Charn for the holidays! She hopes to resturn soon, with VICTORY!

Ceriday, Khael 17, 1018


Front Page

Goblin Casino Rolls the Dice!

A relatively low-ante joint, a local goblin casino was the site of a kerfuffle this week after some overly well-off customer tipped one of the staff a platinum coin. Accusations were made of theft when he went to cash it after his shift, loyalties were bought (and sold), and now the casino suddenly finds itself with a change of some of their management.

This isn't altogether unheard of, but the issue is that goblins are now infiltrating the other districts trying to convince the more well-to-do to frequent their 'growing' establishment. There are two reports of priests going to use the outhouse, only to find the only paper present were adverts for the casino, and one goblin apparently rolled up flyers and shoved them into random bottles of wine before recorking them. Expensive wine. It seems every goblin wants to hit the next windfall, and some know no bounds for trying to lure business. We all can only pray this madness passes quickly, and doesn't grow even more creative.

Festivities in the Temple Square

The courtyard of the Temple of Daeus has been decorated for Yule! The clergy there have placed colorful lantern bulbs over the mana lamps that normally provide light for the area, to create a more colorful, festive, and joyous Yule mood!

Daeusites have also been spotted working alongside Altheans to deliver bread and food to the poor. No word yet on the Tarien temple, but we are watching them closely (and warily!).

Fashion and Culture

Goblin Poker Ups the Ante

Ma Rosie's got a new card table and hosted a special Goblin Stash Poker night, only a few nights ago. There wasn't a lot of action at the table; it never had all nine of its seats filled. However, what action there was, was intense! At one point, the pot got up to over fifty platinums... and one player, out of cash, put down a magical wand to make the call. That same player ended up winning the hand with an Ace-high flush, and (literally) walked out with a boot full of coin.

Tribune Trails Comic

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A Series of Interviews

As part of our Yule celebrations, we at the Tribune have contracted everyday citizens, and asked them to explore the diversity that is Alexandria! Alexandria is one of the melting pots of the world. Please enjoy the series in this and future editions!

OOC: PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN YOUR INTERVIEWS! We are still handing out rewards, and expect publications to continue! Also, sending in other rumors and articles, or doodles! awards RPP!

Interview: Miriai, War Golem!

Features: Miriai, War Golem in Alexandria

Interview by: Aznara, Ceinaran Adventurer!

Aznara: Describe yourself to me.
Miriai: I am a magically animated sentient golem. I am apparently made of enchanted steel and other materials. Some of silver, some innards include mercury. I have adapted myself and become attached to chainmail armor while learning that my creation incorporated elements of defensive skills. I see in darkness and dim lighting, do not require air and self-repair. <he pauses> Is that enough information My Lady?
Aznara: Is there one physical attribute you have that you're proud of?
Miriai: <he is silent for a long moment, remaining still as a statue> Proud? <he seems to contemplate the concept> Ah yes, a characteristic that I think of as a promising feature that makes me feel accomplished around others. <pause> My soul. The fact that I seem to have one makes me feel like I am worthy of being treated like a sentient, not merely a machine or tool.
Aznara: Do you have one physical attribute that you would change if you could?
Miriai: My arms. Were they longer, I could protect my Lady more effectively. <response is almost immediate>
Aznara: Do you feel you hae a special talent? If so, what is it?
Miriai: My talents lie in the area of combat and defensive training. But... <he pauses> I believe I may retain a small inkling of knowledge of how to forge magic and machine into one. At least the principles of it. I believe that coul dbe considered a special talent.
Aznara: Is there a special talent you wish you had?
Miriai: That which you possess. The talent of channeling raw magical energies. Perhaps then I could forge actual magical machines myself.
Aznara: Is there anything in particular you want from life? ... for yourself, not for another person?
Miriai: <another brief pause> The freedom to determine my own fate. I am intelligent and sentient. What little remains of previous memories involves.. servitude.
Aznara: Do you feel yourself to be a slave?
Miriai: No, I feel that I was once a slave. I choose to defend my Lady. I wish to continue being given the opportunity to choose. I hope that others do not attempt to take that choice from me. <pauses> I know that my Lady will not.
Aznara: How do you know you can trust your Lady?
Miriai: I choose to. Can I not have faith in something? <his voice is almost flat>
Aznara: You are a created being, and speak of having faith. Does this include belief in the gods of this world? Do you have faith in the gods, or a specific one of them?
Miriai: Are not all beings created by the gods? Can the gods not have chosen to make my brethren through the hands of other sentients? I have learned of one named.. Reos, and I find his teachings welcome.
Aznara: Have you ever done anything you wish you hadn't done?
Miriai: Perhaps... But if I did, then I have no memory of the event.

Interview: Ladies Sandiel and Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn!

Features: Ladies Sandiel and Myrana Jn'Rajh Arwenieniallwehn

Interview by: Aznara, Ceinaran Adventurer!

Aznara: May I have your names, please, so as to identify who is interviewed?
Myrana: I'm Myrana Jn'Rajh, and I run the Ox Strength tavern down the street.
Sandiel: Ahem. I am Lady Sandiel. Lady Sandiel Jn'rajh, of the Mythwood elves. Which means my wife here, by virtue of being married to me, is LADY Myrana Jn'rajh.
Aznara: How did the two of you meet?
<interviewees declined to answer>
Aznara: What your plans are for life? What do you want?
Myrana: Well, my plans right now, I suppose, are mostly tied up with the Ox and finding a way to serve the neighborhood better with the, uh, tools at my disposal. I inherited it from the Late Mister Oxley, and its been my project for a number of years.
Sandiel: By 'tools' you mean your employees, of course. My plans? Run my damn shop. And stay retired from adventuring around the god damn city getting my gods damned ass kicked.
Aznara: Are you both retired adventurers, or only Lady Sandiel?
Myrana: Only Sandy is retired.
Sandiel: Myrana has been known to get kidnapped frequently, but yes. She still contracts for the Guild of Explorers. I don't so much these days. Be sure to get that in there. Myrana, frequent Kidnapping Victim.
Aznara: Is there anything you've always wanted to do, but haven't done? If so, what has kept you from doing it?
Myrana: I've always wanted to kill a lich. Generally they're just not very cooperative.
Sandiel: Oh! Oh! We have a SHARED GOAL. I want to kill a lich too!
Myrana: Well how are you going to do that if you're always in the city?
Sandiel: Well, you know. Sooner or later, one will try to kidnap you.
Aznara: Before the interview began, Lady Myrana mentioned a person she called 'the Scarlet Pen'... or 'the Crimson Pen' as Lady Sandiel put it. Do you have a message for this person that you'd like to have put into print?
Myrana: Oh, most certainly. If the Crimson Pen reads this article, I'd like to invite him to tea.
Sandiel: Yes. Tea. That sounds absolutely great. I would like to have tea with the Pen. And ask him very pointed questions about his, or her, methodology. And stuff.
Great Paladin Advice Column

The Great Paladin sends her regards, but is off and marching against Charn for the holidays! She hopes to resturn soon, with VICTORY!

Korday, Khael 08, 1018


Front Page

Fires in Alexandria!

Earlier we reported on fires in Alexandria. At time time, rumors tied the fires to cult activity. An update to that report follows:

As fire fighters responded, a team chanced upon a man that had been rendered unconscious. Fire fighters report that the man was tied up. Attached to his front was a hastily scribbled note requesting that he be arrested and declared him to be a devil-cultist with an immediate need to make confession at the Temple of Daeus. When the man was awakened, he was identified as one Mark Hall, a journeyman silversmith.

The Temple reports that Hall has made his confession. Further investigations are underway.

The Gnomish Traveler: This Edition, Letters to Heth!
Heth Reads Your Letters!

Gearbear Sparkthistle here, or "Bear" as I am known to friends and foe alike! I am a traveller and explorer of faraway places and unknown lands! Recently, I set my sights on Dragonier!

Though whispers of its blighted landscape have made its way to Alexandria, who has SEEN it? Who but the bravest have set their eyes on its depraved visage? Recently, I sought to add myself to that list and I can't say but that I...

LOVED IT! Why, it was terrible! Awful! And yet...its deathless landscape had a kind, I am not a man easily moved (aside from the sight of my moustache after a righteous brush and waxing), but there is something terrible about it. It is an experience that must be EXPERIENCED. It cannot be matched by words.

Perhaps that is its value.

In addition to my august self, I brought with me a most treasured package. Your LETTERS, of course. Then, standing on the border of Dragonier, I boomed them in my loudest voice! I clashed drums, and symbols! I sang!

And then wights and there was an ungodly roar that shook me to my bones--the EXPERIENCE! But, your message WAS DELIVERED!

My warmest regards,

Gearbear Sparkthistle

PS Some of the messages seem to have possessed additional effects upon reading. Never fear! I am SINGED but UNHARMED! Copies of the letters follow. (Wights my friends, spirited away the originals! Haha!)

PPS Per suggestions, I at great difficulty (I jest, this was of course a simple task for my magnificently oiled, gnomish body, signed paintings to be purchased at the Adventurer's Guild) delivered a crate of cats. However, the cats proceeded to run past a ladder against a house, then to shatter what glass was left in an attempt to get inside. Perhaps the CATS will cancel out the bad luck that Heth has had thus far. Dare we hope?

Dear Heth,

Die in a fire.

Signed, Marcus

Dear Heth,

Please enjoy the enclosed cookies, none of which are decorated with Necklaces of Fireballs. Also, check up on your children, you may be missing a few. The two are completely unrelated.

Hugs and Spiderkisses, Alba'

Dear Heth, here's a puzzle for you - how do you end the song that never ends. Kthxbai.

Regards, Voselle en'Rrdhatru

My Dearest Heth,

I hope this letter reaches you and that you will give it thought and consideration. It has recently been noted that you are embarking upon a quest to destroy the world and turn it into a pale dark shadow of what it is now. A sentiment I sometimes share if I am to be honest, for the stupidity of man is surely one of the greatest forces in the universe and only the utter destruction of the world we know could rid us of this. However as it is a diverse world that would give credit to some of the wisdom it has to offer on the other hand. So it is with these things I mind that I present you with a thought. First and foremost I would look to suggest a grander scope for your plans. You sir are very nearly if not already a god upon this mortal plane. Yet consider that none of the gods hold total way over this realm. Now surely you could spread your power and turn all to ash and the void but would it not be a greater challenge to Lord over all of this realm as it is currently? With all its peoples and flaws as it is. No being has done it before, not even the gods rule supreme. So I put the challenge before you. Seek not to destroy but one pitiful realm but take on a goal worthy of your power, prestige and might. Becomes the supreme lord over everything, force even the gods to bow to you and all your supreme power. Destruction is easy but ruling, true ruling over all things is a grand task nobody has succeeded at. Yet anyhow.

Forever in your defiance, Terewin, Knight of the Blue Rose


Signed, Sandy OMG Such a Fan!

Enclosed in this letter are a pair of foul smelling socks! The note instructs the Gnomish Traveller to: "PLease throw these into Dragonier. I am told dragons have very sensitive noses and the smell will be offensive."

Dear Heth: When you conquer the known world can I be elevated to be the Keeper of Your Library? I'll keep it stocked with dragon snacks for us both and even bring pens suitable for our giant, clawed hands.

Signed, Amoxtli

Message to Dragonier:

I'm not sure how this is going to work or if even anyone would find or read this letter. But, on a whim, I write to you, in the hopes that one day I could learn more of your culture and your ways. It pains me that much of your history and lore may have been lost or at the very least remains beyond my reach. Would that I could visit your lands without fear for my life and see the Majesty of your kingdom. It is a small wish of an apprentice wizard. But, without such wishes, we would never push ourselves to exceed the expectations placed upon us by others. I hope that whomever it is that is reading this letter knows that there is at least one person still in the world who does not look upon you with fear but with wonder and awe.

Yours in Study, Gedryn ...of no where important

Fashion and Culture

Advice for the Gentleman Adventurer!

In today's day and age there are more choices for the fashion conscience gentleman on adventure. While khazadi plaid may be to go to for most these days the true fashionable gentleman will always look for the next big thing.

One of today's greatest gnomish armor smiths, Ralpho Laurencia, has developed the latest in mithril chain shirts! With a deep v-neck, ultra-thin underpadding and his patented elastic slim fit that will ensure you will always look your best in profile. All the while never giving up the protective qualities one seeks in armor. A must-have this adventuring season!

Another notable fashion piece is the new black Trail-belt by Faby'O. Featuring twice the pocket space of the standard belt in the same space, it is truly an advancement for the gentleman on the go. Of course it is made from supple owlbear leather and features the brilliant and precise stitching we have come to expect from the llyranesi leatherworker Faby'O. Get yours today.

Tariday, Quintoos 29, 1018


Front Page

Our Report on Rune

The Alexandrian government reports that Rune vanished from the earth this last Variday, Quintoos 21, 1018. As of this time, it appears a massive translocation effect was used, not unlike that used on Alexandria (unwillingly) years ago. Referred to as 'The Time of Mists,' Alexandria vanished for 5 years. To the world, this appeared to be only weeks.

Rune however, was able to control its disappearance and arrival. In a report issued to both Alexandrian officials, and the Tribune, Rune states that the act was done to thwart efforts by Heth to convert both Rune's and Dran's dead into undeath on the battlefield.

The battle had just begun to turn thanks in part by the arrival of khazad forces against the Dranei. The khazad had faced similar losses during their great summit, due to double-dealing by Arendt with tribes from Stormgarde, and involvement from the khazad-ur. They seemed eager to strike back.

Individual reports to follow in this edition.

Iron Tide Falls! ...Arendt, too?

Rune's sacrifice saved a great many lives, including those of the Dranei. This has apparently shifted the balance between citizens of the two countries, and not in Arendt's favor. In addition, one of Arendt's closest advisors was outed as a servant of Heth. What this means is unknown, but the Tide may be disbanded for now. Arendt's fate itself is uncertain. Though supposedly deposed, he is an ambitious man, and the world should not expect to see the last of him.


Alexandria's Status, Post Dran and Rune War and the Position of Heth

Strategists find most worrisome the emergence of Heth from Dragonier. This is the first time the great dragon had set foot outside of the fallen nation and it does not bode well. His armies now even more bolstered by the transformation of army dead into wights has lead to renewed major power negotiations on how to contain them. With these negotiations no longer sidetracked by the Dran and Rune war, and the Tide-driven coup in Dun Morden, politicians expect discussions to renew, and forces to move into place.

Rumors suggest that Heth himself may not be killed, but contained. This is due the the presence of a "Void" within him. The details of what this "Void" is are forthcoming, and we hope to have a report by the Arcanists soon.

Alexandrian elite report their gratitude towards the return of its irregulars back within the city. As a safety measure, political leaders have ordered the Planar Disjunction Canon be readied.

Now, the attention of the Council is squarely on dealing with local problems while pushing for a combined effort to retake Dragonier. A strategy of continued containment for Dragnier while finding solutions to defeat Heth seems to be their goal. For now, however, entirely too many local problems have persisted which will now need to be dealt with.

Fires in Alexandria

Fires were reported in Alexandria. Details forthcoming as we find them, though rumors suggest they were tied to a cult.

Charn Warship Damaged During Battle, No One is Sad

The noted warship belonging to Charn, the Wraith, suffered some kind of explosion during the battle. Heth is suspected, but rumors of a sith-Makar being behind it persist. Though damaged, the Charnish soldiers and workers aboard it seemed able to jury-rig enough repairs to get it flying again and out of Rune. Of course, nobody is really sad to see them go.

Fashion and Culture

Parody Entertains Noble District

The following parody has been heard sung in certain parlours and salons in the Noble District. While its origin is unknown at this time, it is believed to be a parody of racial tensions in Alexandria. Whatever its intent, it has caused some discord and uncomfortable chuckles.

Oh give me a home,
That is free from a gnome,
Where we don't constantly live in fear,
They're bringing their tricks,
They're bringing their crime,
Throw the gnomes out of Alexandria!
Gnomes! Gnomes are so strange!
When they're out don't let your kids play!
So seldom is heard,
An intelligent word,
About gnomes from the council today!

The song goes on to extol the sins of various other humanoid species, including the arvek nar, gobbers, sith-makar and mul'niessa. Most are considered too offensive to publish.

Trials of the Tribune Comic!

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Personal and Editorials

Looking for Group!

Looking for able-bodied and -minded inviduals to form an expedition to Emereth.

Payment provided from spoils of treasure and loot.

All applicants must be physically and mentally able to deal with cold weather and other harsh conditions of the northern wastes.

All inquiries to Jokul

Editor's Note: There was a bizarre smudge of ink after the name, like someone had started writing a family name there only to immediately decide against it.

A Totally Not Long-Winded Editorial on the History of Arcane Practice and Guardianship

With the vanishing of Rune, and its reappearance, now could not be a more appropriate time to touch on the history of magic. While Rune today, and now our various magicking schools across the nations, represent the pinnacle of arcane achievement on Ea, their history goes back to the appearance of dragons, and the arrival of the sildanyari.

Our oldest references tell us that it was the dragons who first developed the arcane principle. Knowledgable and powerful, they passed this knowledge onto the sildanyari, where it would later spread to the world.

The conflict between Taara and other deities over its guardianship is as old as this. During the early days, Taara manipulated mana to sunder the sildanyari apart. Of course, depending on which history book you look at, the tale will be somewhat different. However, it does give us a new perspective, at the very least, on Eluna's more recent role.

Sage "I am Hip" Balten, of Alexandria's School of Divination, Progressive Arcanists

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Great Paladin Advice Column

Q: Great Paladin, what toppings do you put on your breakfast waffles? A: Breakfast consists of a cool, refreshing glass of water and precisely two and a half flavourless rice waifers. Nothing should distract from the pursuit of justice.

However, were I a waffle or pancake eater, I would top it with whipped cream and strawberries.

Q: Great Paladin, what if you're a paladin of the god of cooking and being a gourmet is part of your code? A: I would question the existance of such a paladin as I can't imagine the god of cooking to be within one step away from Lawful Good. Some recipes are downright evil.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Editor's Note: We here at the Tribune would state that the Great Paladin's mention of pancakes is as a nod towards fairness and equality. It is not taken to be an endorsement of the Pancake Conspiracy. Viva butter-filled and delicious breakfast squares!

Gilday, Quintoos 09, 1018


Front Page

Good sails, Master Tangisir!

His business finished for the autumn, we report that Merchant Tangisir and his quiet accomplice Jaidat are returning to Veyshan. A young, bronze dragon with promise among the merchant guilds, he claims at least two cousins among Alexandria's own.

"It has been a pleasure," the young dragon reported to the Tribune. Tangisir caused ripples this last season with his presentation of tlagi, a rare tea crafted from an even rarer desert flower. "My familiy had an usual crop this season. A little surplus," he had said at the time. The tlagi is well-known in tea circles for its unique combination of flavors. It is said it carries all flavors, from the crisp sunrise of the desert morning to its heated sunset. A thousand poems have been made of its petals.

He suggests that he will return next season, if Alexandria shows an interest in the flower. "Perhaps I may make the journey anyway," he added. "After all, my family is here." Whether he returns or not, the dragon's presence has "infused" some much-needed flavor into the local tea houses.

Good sails, Master Tangisir!

Gnomen Noodles are Warmth in a Cup!

When we reported on the Gnomen Noodles trend last Hattanani 27, we thought they were "one of those trends" that was seeing a surge in popularity. However, winter has given this ancient foodstuff an unexpected boost. Though invented hundreds ago by the practical khazad under the title "Soup-in-a-Cup," gnomish ingenuity has turned it into a robust industry.

Bonbargo Sparkgrinder over at Fizzy Muffintorque reports they're launching a new Owlshly Beary flavor of Gnomen Noodle. "We're basing it around the robust flavor of owlbear, with a hint of summer months! Perfect for the chill weather!" Each cup will come with a small packet of dried fruits.

Cladget Butterfoods is proud to announce its "Hint of Elemental" line, which comes in hot (fire), smooth (water), and similar flavors.

Both brands are expected to hit stands by the end of the week, just in time for the snow. They and similar hot foods may prove more popular than usual this winter. Weathermages throughout the city have said to expect an unusually cold winter.

Fashion and Culture

The Crimson Pen's Final Edition??

Warning: This article contains potential spoilers.

In the previous edition of Alexandria's greatest mystery-romance, the Crimson Pen shocked fans by leaving Mereth poisoned! We were told how he lay crumpled, in Dandy's arms.

In this latest tale, the TRECHEROUS JYRANA comes face to face with Dandy! Dandy, inconsolate after the horrors of Mereth's death. Did Jyrana poison him? Was it a mysterious, unnamed third party? The mysteries abound, and this reporter cannot wait to finish the latest in the series!

It is impossible to understate the popularity of this series within Alexandria, and the mystery author only adds to its "mystery of mysteryness," according to one avid reader, Gim Bordi. We at the Tribune have received letter after letter of outrage at the manly Merth's demise! There is no more walking space in this reporter's office.

Unfortunately, we at the Tribune do not know the Crimson Pen's true identity. However, we advise readers to be WARY.

Mereth's death has inspired many "copycat" authors to recraft the ending. Within one of these "copycat editions" Mereth rises from the dead to rescue his beloved! Another copy delivered to our office reveals that Jyrana was a dragon all along. While some are undoubtedly motivated by Mereth's tragic plight, their publications muddy finding the true story.

Will the Crimson Pen survive the controversy??

Lost and Found

Found: Kickball-sized ball of fuzz. Appears to make a "gnarp" noise. Free to anyone--ohgodithasmylegHELP

Lost: Small hat with a blue trim, red silk interior. Please return to Ilgam at Ma Rosie's if found.

Lost: Pale scarf with amber beading. Please contact Fizclok at Ma Rosie's if found.

Free: Chip's is offering a free beer with every purchase of our new, bbq platter! Offer good through Variday only!

Korday, Rhaltas 20, 1018

Front Page

The Green Takes on Heth in Upcoming Hunt

The Temple of Gilead reports its readiness for the upcoming Hunt. "We are prepared this season to answer the cry of the Green, which has too long been ignored between the petty struggles of Dran and Rune!" came a statement from one of the Hunters leading the effort.

"Heth sinks his claws into the Green, as we mortals look carelessly away. He also hunts the souls there. How many are left behind, held there by his immense gravity? That is why we have chosen the borderlands for the Hunt." The Temple declared it would lead with "action, as well as word." Whether souls are left behind is a matter of debate, though statements from the Daeusite temples seem to confirm it.

"While Heth is no demon, he shares some aspects with them. For example, the hunger for power. We saw recently the Binder Asumit's recent attempt, which was thwarted by the heroes of Alexandria, as well as an alliance between the local Temples of Light, as well as assistance from Myrddion," Sunguard Flask said, when asked about the possibility.

The Temple of Vardama says it expects a number of its faithful to join in, as well. They have also offered their expertise on creatures within the borderlands. Surprisingly, a local priest of Thul also stepped forward, but no one is taking him seriously.

Instant Fortified Warrior an Instant Disaster!

Alexandria's infamous inventive duo, Brundle and Fythe, made their triumphant return to Alexandria just in time to foul up a fair! Their so-called 'Instant Fortified Warrior' grew to ridiculous sizes before being brought back down to size by the intellect of the souls present.

Brundle and Fythe have spoken with officials. The Watch expressed its concern that the two will, hopefully, not beleaguer the citizen of Alexandria further with their antics.

On condition of anonymity, an official at the fair was commented as saying: Yeah, and pigs may fly. Then again, this has actually happened, so...

Fashion and Culture

The Crimson Pen Strikes Again!

The Crimson Pen's latest has hit the stands, and copies are already selling out. In it, the Pen introduces a new character. Dandy, the gentle-voiced Myrrish sil, cannot decide if she wants to escape Mereth's manly clutches! Jyrana, jealous of them both, turns down the dark path of poisoner in an act of desperate revenge! Can Mereth's manly strength save them all? An excerpt follows;

Mereth and Dandy met under the Highbridge, away from the eyes of all but the most wretched peasants - who, having no taste of love themselves, sat in ashamed awe of their forbidden love.
"Mereth," Dandy whispered, "I think I'm being followed."
Mereth frowned manfully. "But by whom, my dulcet darling? Who would dare follow you into splendor but myself?"
"You know who," Dandy said, pressing an alabaster hand to her brow. "It is Jyrana! I see her at the market, I see her in the gardens, even in my mirror at night!"
"But why would you see her so many places? Your fiendishly clever magic-machines prevent you from being followed!"
"There is only one way to explain it," Dandy said wretchedly, pressing herself into Mereth's fulsome, muscular chest. "Her jealousy has pushed her past the boundaries of all mortal sense. She has become...psiometric!"

In response to the publication, several "copycat" authors have sprung up, hoping to ride the sudden wave of fame and also, the novels' "mysterious air of mystery."

Local and Lifestyle

Ancient Legends Reborn!

Reporters with ears to the ground are reporting a resurgence of local tales and legends! We've done some investigating to find out just what is going on!

OOC Note: When we remade the grid back in 2011-2012, we invited the community to give it a history. Through now and the next few editions, we'll be sharing what they wrote! The following tales can be heard among the gossip columns in Alexandria.

Ancient Legends Reborn: The Cousin's Statues

This tale is often told around the campfire late at night. Deep within the catacombs, one of the most famous, or infamous statues is the Cousins' Statues.

Some 100 years ago, there were three brothers, the two older brothers were honest merchants, while the third was a scoundrel. He lusted after the wealth that his brothers' had, but there was a problem, even if his brothers, their wives would get the money and if their wives died their two children would get their money, only if both their families died would he get their wealth.

Now most wicked men would find easier sport, but this man was jealous of his brothers and wanted what they had. Some say he pledged his soul to the Shadow Sorceress or to the False Lady, but however he did it he came up with a plan to murder his family and get away with it.

The wicked man whispered sweet lies into his brothers' ears, honey coated half-truths that soon had brother turning against brother. Words were said, voices got raised, there was shoving and pushing and soon the two good brothers were brawling in the street. Even after the guards broke it up the brothers challenged each other to a duel to the death. Before the duel the evil brother coated each sword with poison so no matter who won they'd both die and die they did.

Two widows grieving and the wicked man's barded silky words whispered in their ears and before the month was out the two widows had gone to join their husbands in the Grey Hall. It was a shame, it was a pity, oh who would think of the children; their evil uncle would.

Four deaths in one family in a span of a month was pushing it and the Evil Uncle knew that. He wasn't worried though. He started to slowly poison the children and in 6 months two active healthy cousins were bed-ridden and worse the poison the Evil Uncle was using was slowly stealing their sight. By the time the two cousins succumb to the poison they were both blind. The Evil Uncle not wanting suspicion cast on him buried the children under his wine cellar then declared the children missing and spent the next 2 months looking for them. He hired adventurers, mostly new ones to try to find his lost nephew and niece, but alas no one ever found a trace of them.

The Evil Uncle thinking himself in the clear started to throw lavish parties and he would eat and drink and partying until all hours of the night. It started slowly at first, he would hear a child's laughter and be totally alone. Things would fall off the table. He started to hear voiced. "Uncle come play with us. Catch us Uncle catch us. Uncle come find us."

Soon he couldn't eat or sleep as the children's voices wouldn't torment him all day and all night. He tried to appease them. He in secret buried their bones in the local graveyard. He tried to throw money at the problem, having life sized statues built where he buried them. Nothing the Evil Uncle did would stop the children's voices. By this time the voices has started to become more malevolent, like children teasing.

The Evil Uncle unable to get away from the torment of the dead children had built for then an elaborate mausoleum deep in the catacombs under the graveyard. Done under the pretext that it was his own, he hoped that this would finally appease the spirits of the two cousins he had poisoned. Once construction was done, the Evil Uncle had the bodies of the two children secretly laid to rest one moonless night.

As the Evil Uncle was in the mausoleum he heard the children's voices again, but this time the workmen he brought with him heard the voices too. Neither the Evil Uncle nor the workmen had noticed the statues of the children had been missing from the graveyard. The last words that the Evil Uncle heard was, "I see you."

Only one workman managed to make it out and he died soon after, his eyes having been ripped from his head. In the morning the statues were found each holding a set of eyes in their hands.

To this day the statues of the cousins stand in the graveyard of Alexandria and on moonless nights it's said that the statues come to life and play games. Woe be to anyone who finds these children though, as the games they play you might not survive.

OOC: Thanks, Cesran!

Great Paladin Advice Column
Q: Great Paladin, what is the definition of 'justice'?
A: Well, it starts with two groups. Them and us. Then we slay them, and it becomes just us. The them is usually the hobgoblins or the gnomes.
Q: Great Paladin, I am definitely Darshan and I want to know two things: A) Is Crimson Pen an employee of the Tribune and B) If so, when is their lunch break and are they allergic to deadly poison. -Definitely Darshan
A: A) I am not an employee of, nor affiliated with, the Tribune and as such am not privy to such information. I would suggest cross referencing the writing style of the novels with the various articles in the tribute. Perhaps get a statistician to help. Third, B) I have no idea if the Crimson Pen is allergic to deadly poison or not. As an alternative, I have found very few things to be immune to blunt force trauma.

GREAT PALADIN STANDARD DISCLAIMER -- I cannot be held accountable for anyone creatively interpreting my answers, nor reading such things in them that I clearly would not intend. Such as illegal activities. Or racism.

Variday, Rhaltaas 17, 1018

Hunters and War

The Green has declared war this season.

Oh, and rangers received some great upgrades in RP26. :D

When: Thursday!
Description: A gathering of hunters, druids, shamans and more to discuss the latest Hunt! The Green has effectively declared a war on Heth, and demanded the world stand up and take notice!
This is a time to discuss politics, plans, and renew bonds among the wild communities!
OOC: This is a Meetup! There will be an ooc portion open for folks to put together stories, plots, and so on, in addition to RP!


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